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Lesbians Report More Orgasms Than Straight Women

That headline got your attention, didn’t it?


Yes, it’s true: Women with same-sex partners orgasm more than women in heterosexual partnerships and also bisexual women.

A 2014 study by Garcia, Lloyd, Wallen and Fisher examined the orgasm frequency of 6K+ women and men. (No word on how it broke down via gender and orientation identifications.) Participants self-selected to take the 2011 survey. Data was used from 1.4K+ men and 1.3K+ women who’d had sex within the past year.

The study found that heterosexual women experienced an orgasm 61%+ of the time, bisexual women had an orgasm 58% of the time, and lesbian women had an orgasm 74%+ of the time. Needless to say, those are some very large gaps to attribute to orientation.

But why is this? There are a few reasons: First, a woman would theoretically be able to get her female partner off more easily, because she’s working with the same equipment (so to speak). She would also be more comfortable with her own body, allowing her to orgasm more. Another reason mentioned is a bit more about social conditioning in terms of sexual etiquette: A 2013 study reveals that women in heterosexual partnerships don’t expect to have an orgasm during a sexual encounter, whereas women in homosexual partnerships do have that expectation.

T&A In Bed With Lahna Turner, Comedian of The Perfect 10 podcast

Lahna Turner, comedian, musician, and podcaster of The Perfect 10, opens up with our playful questions – thx for being so honest, Lahna!


t&a in bed with Lahna Turner

On our podcast with Lahna: EP 114! In homage to the fall and the change of season, we’re talking all about endings and new beginnings, with comedien Lahna Turner. ‘A’ shares her relationship revelations from a session with a psychic that changed her romantic life, then Lahna gets candid and raw about currently going through a divorce and we get the full story of how ‘Limeade’, her new comedic, visual album from the title parady of Beyonce’s ‘Lemonade’ came into being. Plus, a lively debate over how to handle the death of intimacy after children enter the picture with a real-life mom, and then we cap it off with ‘New Dick’, Lahna’s HILARIOUS new song from Limeade.
Listen here: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/tatalksex/podcast

Maternal Mortality, Still an Issue…Especially in this State!

You wouldn’t necessarily guess that *any* state in the U.S. has a high maternal mortality rate (i.e. mothers who die due to pregnancy- and birth-related complications), but one has that dubious honor. And that is the great state of Texas.


In the September issue of medical journal Obstetrics and Gynecology, a report found the following:

The maternal mortality rate in the United States increased between 2000 and 2014, even while the rest of the world succeeded in reducing its rate. Excluding California, where maternal mortality declined, and Texas, where it surged, the estimated number of maternal deaths per 100,000 births rose to 23.8 in 2014 from 18.8 in 2000 – or about 27%.

Bet you didn’t expect that, right? (I certainly didn’t.) But how bad is it really?

From 2000 to the end of 2010, Texas’s estimated maternal mortality rate hovered between 17.7 and 18.6 per 100,000 births. But after 2010, that rate had leaped to 33 deaths per 100,000, and in 2014 it was 35.8. Between 2010 and 2014, more than 600 women died for reasons related to their pregnancies.

Texas is part of the developed world, so the maternal mortality rate surge cannot be explained by “war, natural disaster, or severe economic upheaval.” So what is it?

In recent years, Texas has severely decreased women’s access to spaces that offer medical services for reproductive health. In 2011, “the Texas state legislature cut $73.6M from the state’s family planning budget of $111.5M.” This measure resulted in 80 clinics closing across the state. Planned Parenthood clinics were also completely eliminated, which cut off access to reproductive health measures for lower-income women especially. Planned Parenthood had previously served 130K+ women across the state.

While Texas restored the family planning budget to its original level in 2013, the damage was already done: Many clinics are still struggling to provide the same level of care and service they provided before the cut. But Texas clinics are now offering free IUDs, so there’s some hope they’ll be flourishing soon.

T&A IN BED WITH Jayson Thibault from Punch Drunk Sports Podcast

T&A hop in bed with Jayson to ask him personal questions, and he sure delivers honest answers – so fun! 


t&a in bed

Wow, we totally had a show topic for this week- and then Jayson Thibault from Punch Drunk Sports happened! Which made for an epic episode. His candid discussion about all things relationships, sex, family, and growing up with lesbian parents bring us to a higher level of honesty! How does a young boy growing up with all women affect him as a man? How does T growing up with her father affect her as a grown woman? A shares her personal story about her mom’s ovarian cancer, and how she handled the experience. And so much more real talk happens in this episode. Enjoy!

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/tatalksex/2016/10/20/why-waste-87-laps-around-the-sun-jayson-thibault-speaks-his-truth

The Fifty Shades Darker Trailer is the Most-Viewed Trailer Ever in Its First 24 Hours

Guess who’s back? Back again?


Sexy rich man in tuxedo with whip and lover indoor black and white bdsmNot Slim Shady. Everyone’s favorite telecommunications boy-genius/BDSM enthusiast/master manipulator Christian Grey and blank slate/everygirl/victim Ana Steele. Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson reprise their roles as the aforementioned twosome in the installment based on E.L. James’ second book Fifty Shades Darker.

The first trailer for the movie debuted on Wednesday, Sept. 14th and has already become notable for setting a new record: The trailer became the most-viewed trailer within 24 hours of its release.

The Fifty Shades Darker trailer was viewed 114M times within the first day of its release. It performed well across digital platforms, and received 2.5M views on the movie’s Facebook page only in the U.S. Internationally, the trailer was viewed 74.6M times, over double the number of domestic views.

The previous record for most-viewed trailer in the 24-hour period after its debut was 2015’s Star Wars: The Force Awakens. That trailer received 112M views.

With these viewing numbers for an initial trailer, I think we can reasonably expect that the second movie will do fairly well in box office take when released. If past trends are anything to go by, the first movie sold a lot of advance tickets and became the “sixth R-rated movie to gross more than $500 million.”

Fifty Shades Darker will be released Feb. 10, 2017.

Women in the Workplace Study 2016: By The Numbers

“A comprehensive study of the state of women in corporate America.” Would you agree with these stats?


Image of woman using laptop while sitting at her desk. Young african american businesswoman sitting in the office and working on laptop.Sheryl Sandberg’s LeanIn.Org teamed up with consulting firm McKinsey & Co. to release the second annual Women in the Workplace study. The study bills itself as “a comprehensive study of the state of women in corporate America.” The study examined 132 companies with a combined total of 4.6M+ employees. Another 34K+ filled out a relevant survey about their experiences in the workplace.

You can read the full results, but here are some relevant stats:

Able to Participate Fully in Meetings:

  • Women: 67%
  • Men: 74%

Believe Their Contributions are Appropriately Valued:

  • Women: 49%
  • Men: 54%

Believe Their Gender Will Make It Hard to Advance:

  • Women: 33%
  • Men: 12%

Lobbied for a Promotion or New Assignment:

  • Women: 39%
  • Men: 36%

Asked for an Increase in Compensation:

  • Women: 29%
  • Men: 27%

Negotiated and Received Feedback They Were “Bossy”/”Aggressive”/”Intimidating”:

  • Women: 30%
  • Men: 23%

T&A IN BED WITH Lora of Between the Sheets with Lora Somoza

T&A hop in bed with Lora from the podcast Between The Sheets with Lora Somoza. She answers some silly questions with honesty and humor about sex and her preferences!


t&a in bed

On the Podcast:

Giving Thanks for Vibrators, Small Breasts, Big Lips, and Daddy Issues Ep.121
It’s Thanksgiving week, which means time for T&A to reflect on all the things they’re grateful for this year- the not so suitable for the dinner table things. Lora Somoza from the podcast, ‘Between the Sheets with Lora Somoza’ joins this roundtable chat which sparks scintilating conversation on vibrators, masturbation, their body issues growing up as kids and even some deeper family issue stuff. Fun and entertaining, yet always deep, Happy Thanksgiving from T&A!

Thx guys!
C

Presence

Watch as Mike Lousada talks about ‘Presence’, its meaning, its qualities or the three different components that make up our ability to be present.


mike-lousada

How do you demonstrate being present in the moment?

“Wet Gold” (Contemporary Dakini Emanation Art)

Enjoy this Embodied Emanation Art by Kalista


wet goldShe is connected to the cosmos, nature, and Consciousness. All women on some level are Dakinis.

The feminine has a beautiful capacity to infuse hidden secrets into her movements. Hidden secrets are revealed in the undulation of a woman’s body when she is connected to her essence, full potential, and open to potent energy flowing in. This deep hearted sensuous feminine creativity becomes an opening, and expression of wisdom. It’s not a logical linear way to awaken, evolve, or change, but instead liberates the personal and cultural ‘mind/body’ through love, beauty, and mystery.

How Many People Have Stayed with a Partner for Financial Reasons?

If you ever needed a reason to make your own money, and not depend on someone else, here comes a compelling stat:


A survey conducted earlier this year of 2K people in the U.K. revealed that 16% of Brits have stayed in a relationship because of financial reasons in the past. In the present, 28% of Brits are staying in relationships due to financial reasons (though that may not be the only reason).

Some of the aforementioned financial concerns are that 35% of respondents said they couldn’t cover living expenses without their partner’s help, and 10% said their partner paid for luxuries.

I have some questions about methodology here: We don’t know the age ranges of the respondents, or how much they make, among many other things. We can’t extrapolate to see if this is true of any other countries.

Ashley Graham Is First Plus-Size Model to Cover British “Vogue”

Model Ashley Graham is busting boundaries left and right.


ashley-grahamEarlier this year, she covered Maxim and the coveted Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. Now, she’s landed the cover of the fashion bible of the U.K., the British version of Vogue. Shot by famed photographer Patrick Demarchelier, Graham’s cover will be for the January 2017 issue.

Graham is a plus-size model, so her covering these storied publications shows that the fashion industry is coming around to including a wider variety of body types. Let’s hope American Vogue sees this, and follows suit.

Graham’s cover for British Vogue arrives on newsstands today.

Do You Need Couples Therapy or Just a Rest?

What is your realization from the past year?


By any standards, 2016 was one hell of a year for most people. Horrors from Syria, the continued threat of terrorism and the geo-political upheavals that we saw have made most of us more on-edge than usual.  I had my own personal battles with professional and personal challenges and issues coming up left, right and centre it seemed.  In the second half of the year I felt more or less constantly bombarded by painful reflections back from others, difficult situations or things demanding that I grow.

It’s not surprising that this took a toll on my relationship with my beloved.  Our stress turned in on ourselves and at some point on one another.  We got into a pattern of criticizing and blaming far more than we would normally do.  Was there something wrong in our relationship?  Had the magic left us?  Are we falling out of connection?  All these things worried us until I had one of those life changing a-ha moments.

I realized that no matter how much we tried to find each other, no matter how conscious we were about our feelings, our stories, our projections, we still ended up going round in self-destructive patterns or creating separation from the other.  It seemed like no amount of conscious relating was going to change the pattern.

And then I got it.  I realized that there wasn’t anything fundamentally wrong in our relationship.  There was something going on at a cellular level in my body.  My nervous system had been under pressure for so long that it was constantly looking for what it perceived might be a threat.  And of course when we start looking, we find something!

I realized that the Fight-Flight part of my nervous system (the sympathetic branch of the autonomic nervous system for those neuro-geeks out there) was over-firing.  That part of our nervous system is designed to keep us safe by looking out for danger.  It’s part of why we’re so successful as a species, because we have this innate radar for danger hard-wired into us.

But the system can go wrong.  Part of what happens when the Fight-Flight is activated is that our perception of people’s emotional expressions changes; we see friendly faces as neutral or even hostile.  In effect it creates an altered state of reality.  In this place, allowing intimacy is very difficult – because my beloved’s caring face was being perceived by my nervous system as a threat – even though it wasn’t one.

Since both our nervous systems had been more activated than usual we were both at a raised level of alert – much closer than normal to the level where our brain tells us “watch out, this is dangerous”.  So the smallest thing would set us off into a defensive pattern of behavior – basically we went into Fight or Flight at every perceived mis-step from the other.

The moment I realized this, things began to shift.  We didn’t need couples therapy or counseling or time apart – it was some down time, a period to allow our nervous systems to recalibrate and calm down.

Fortunately the Christmas holidays were just around the corner and this allowed us both to have some time away from the stresses of work, have some lie-ins and duvet days and just calm ourselves down.

Our culture puts so much pressure on us to be “on” all the time, to work longer hours, to be more social or to always be “doing” something.  Even the background hum of noise in a city creates a raised level of nervous system response, activating our Fight-Flight reaction more easily than is healthy for us.  All these things make our nervous system shift into a lower gear, watching more closely for danger.  In this place it’s much harder to be loving, to not be defensive or critical (of yourself or others).

What most of us need is to recalibrate our nervous systems so that we bring down our base-level of activation to allow more ease and calm in our lives.  I’m happy to say that since this realization we’ve quickly got back to our old loving selves, we’ve reconnected and intimacy is flowing between us once more – it’s a relief for us both.

If you’re in a similar position, maybe there’s nothing wrong with your relationship at all, maybe you don’t need a break or even therapy for this.  Maybe you just need a good rest.


So how can you calm your nervous system?  Here are a few ways to help you.

  • Make sure you get enough undisturbed sleep: Disrupted sleep makes people grumpy and more alert to danger. If you can, take short “power-naps” of 15-20 minutes in the daytime.
  • Slow down: Eat slowly, don’t rush late to appointments and give yourself time. The more we rush the more our nervous system gets activated.  Slowing down helps calm your body and mind.
  • Breath: Deep breathes with an emphasis on the out breath, slightly extending the exhalation activate the opposite of your Fight-Fight reaction, helping change your body chemistry and calm you.

Enjoy a higher quality experience of love this year. Become a LOVE TV Member today.

Her and His Story of Sacred Pleasure

We have been taught that sexuality and the sacred are polar opposites, but they were united in ancient traditions across the globe.


Riane Eisler’s groundbreaking research and writings on ancient cultures reveal this exciting reality about what so many women and men long for today… more meaningful, fulfilling pleasure and loving sexuality.

Music: www.bensound.com

WHY Do You Weigh Yourself?

Yesterday as I was leaving my gym, I noticed a young woman 20-ish, standing naked on the scale in the locker room.  I also noticed standing near her was another naked woman who was probably her grandmother, waiting for her turn to weigh in.  This caught my attention because I thought to myself why do we weigh ourselves?

Now a lot of  you are thinking,  “Gina done lost her mind! Duh!”   But hang with me here, because you all know that I look at things from a different angle, and generate new perspectives that I share with you.     The important thing, as I am prone to do with EVERYTHING  is to ask the question WHY.    Since I was a kid, that question is so prevalent in my life that I should be known as a whyman, instead of a woman. ( Ok, you know I always sneak in a weird pun.  Let’s hope that’s the only one today.)

Today I want to  invite you to explore the WHY to this question so that you have a vehicle to become more conscious of the many things we all do unconsciously and to break away from the herd and THINK FOR YOURSELF.  This way of thinking is like a muscle, and the more you use it, the stronger it gets.

Ok, so seriously, why do we weigh ourselves? What real purpose does it serve? What does that number on the scale have to do with anything important or relevant in our lives? I’m speaking here of a healthy person, just as a disclaimer. I know that there are some perhaps medical conditions where weight is a determinant or a marker of something, or professional fighters weight themselves for fairness in  the ring,  but I’m speaking just of the average person and particularly women.  What’s the first thought that came to your mind in answer to that question?  Did your brain go all fuzzy with, “hmmm, to find out what I weigh?”  Think again…

That number on the scale has absolutely no meaning other than its purpose to frustrate and lower the self-esteem of almost every woman who steps onto one.    Once you get that number, you IMMEDIATELY (talk about instant non gratification)  feel that there’s something wrong with you. The number is wrong and you need to change it, even if it’s only a couple of pounds.   Which then leads to your endless googling and obsessing about the ultimate weight-loss products, or deciding to go on a diet.   That number leads to comparison of what other people weigh, like that woman you saw in the magazine (which one, so many!) that made you hate your thighs even more than you already do, or your facial lines, or your eyebrows,or your butt, or your…..fill in the blank.

THAT FREAKIN’ NUMBER is a trigger, a catalyst that’s damned near Pavlovian to make you feel bad about you! Pretty soon all you have to do is SEE a scale and you’re terrified.  All those bad feeling start a rush of chemicals in your body, aka hormones, that make you feel like crap about yourself and soon you’re depressed.    In fact, most women will tell you that just the sight of a scale provokes anxiety.   I saw a statistic that said most women weight themselves an average of twice a week, or 104 times a year!   Think about the repetition of an act that makes you feel bad about yourself that many times in a year and the effect that has on your psyche.   That irrelevant number on the scale leads to depression and the sense of inferiority for almost every woman.  Tragically, even anorexics experience exactly the same thing because the number is never small enough.

Realizing they’re not  their “ideal” weight, some women eat their feelings, so  may end up self-soothing with food, and voila, when you step on the scale, guess what??  That sneaky number is bigger.  So you’re now more depressed, and you end up on an anti-depressant, which can make you eat more, eat less, feel suicidal, lose your sex drive, and affect your hormones.  Do you see the vicious cycle that develops just from stepping onto a scale?? Do you see the path of disempowerment that can be triggered by this practice of weighing ourselves?  To some of you it may seem I’m exaggerating, but for many this is truth.

You might argue that someone who is chronically overweight and on a program to lose weight would be inspired by the number coming down, and while that is true to some degree, it is also setting them up to define their successes by THAT NUMBER, rather than celebrating their discipline, commitment and choices, and the obvious visual that they’re shrinking.

Is that number a goal, a target, a golden ticket?  Is it like winning the lottery?  And what is the RIGHT number?  There is no right number on a scale.  It’s an insidious tool to keep you in the marketplace of all the consumerism revolving around deflating and destroying women’s bodies and beauty — and ultimately our power.  The right number comes from you living a healthy, balanced life; body, mind and spirit.  Our mindset is to reward ourselves for a number goal, rather than the goal of living in integrity with our authentic selves.  I wrote a blog post a while back called “Joy, the Key To Weight Loss” (in the archives), and in it I talk about the idea that when we are content inside, we are content outside, and our weight arrives at our most healthy, natural number.

So you see the scale is actually a tool that undermines your self-esteem, your self-worth and a healthy sense of your body.  What if instead of stepping on the scale you simply paid attention to how you feel, to the way your clothes fit? What if you ate a healthy diet and allowed your body to take the shape that it naturally wants to inhabit?  What if you exercised regularly, were emotionally healthy, self-loving and had a strong and comfortable connection to your sexuality?What if you became guided by what you felt on the inside, instead of by the number reflected on the outside? A number, by the way,  chosen by an industry focused on taking your money and your self-worth.    As it’s used by most women, that scale is a weapon of self-destruction

What if you decided to never ever set foot on a scale again to find out what that number is? What if you decided right now to chuck the one you may own?

Because I do share personally, I can tell you that I have truly lived this way. I’ve never personally owned a scale, nor will I.  Like any woman, my weight has fluctuated throughout my life, and I’ve had a  child, so weight gain was part of that experience obviously.   I know personally that when I’ve been unhappy or in self-betrayal, my weight has increased or decreased from what was MY HEALTHY.  My feelings and how my clothes fit were my clues that I needed to make changes in my life.  I wasn’t striving to arrive at a number on a scale, but to arrive at a place of equanimity and joy within me.  And only I know where that place lives inside me.  That place determines my weight, but the number has been unknown to me for years.

Yes, of course I’ve weighed myself at times, but it’s how I know NOT TO.  I’ve been just as affected by seeing a number not aligned with the “ideal.”  I live in the same world with all my sisters and I’m not immune to the subliminal and overt mental manipulations all around me.  I CHOOSE to unplug from them and listen to the voice within me.  She is my compass, my wise woman, and the keeper of my health; body, mind and soul.    In my opinion, our mental health, aka our belief system, is more of a determinant in our self-esteem and physical health  than almost anything else we do.   When you pay attention from the inside, life changes radically.

So I ask you again: why do you weigh yourself?

I’m now asking  you personally as you read this to stop and to answer what may seem like the most mundane and simple question, but to answer it for YOU personally. Answer it with the ideas in mind which I’ve shared with you in this post.  This will give you a window into your own feelings which may be unconscious about your body and your relationship to it.   And I truly hope it inspires you to become a WHYman about EVERYTHING.  (sorry, there it is again.)

If you enjoyed this post, please share it with someone you care about,  Especially the women in your lives.   And that goes for you guys reading this, too.  I hope that for the guys who read my posts, that doors and windows open in your mind to generate a better understanding of some of the challenges women face in the struggle to feel good about themselves.

And ladies, if you’d like some help in learning how to chuck the scale and to love yourself from the inside out, my NATURAL BEAUTY AND TRANSFORMATIONAL LIFE COACHING is an aspect of what I do that I LOVE and am passionate about.  Explore the page to learn more and to watch my video.

And remember to share this post with those you feel would appreciate the message.  And I invite you to weigh in here with me (got one last one in!) and leave a comment below.  I’d love to know your thoughts and have you share your feelings.  I’m deeply passionate about helping you shine your light and your beauty as fully and brightly as you can.

With wild, fierce love and gratitude,

Gina Cloud