zfortadmin, Author at Love TV - Page 16 of 50

Author: zfortadmin

8 Steps to Having the Best Sex Conversation Ever

by zfortadminin SEX TIPS

Do you have a healthy sex conversation with your partner? Discuss them under the sheets for more excitement.

It goes without saying that you’d like to enjoy making love to your partner; yet, nearly every other aspect of sex calls for a chat. Here’s why: Couples who discuss tricky topics effectively are 10 times more likely to have a happy relationship than those who ignore difficult subjects, according to a study by Joseph Grenny, co-author of Crucial Conversations. “A handful of conversations make the biggest difference in the strength and duration of a relationship,” says Grenny. “Talking about sexual intimacy tops that small list.” Read on for eight issues to broach and how to approach them so you can move on to more interesting things.

1. Limits. Unless you want to end up in a “50 Shades of OMG what are you doing?” situation, discuss boundaries. “While it’s possible to have a good experience trying something new with no communication, it’s also possible to have a big fail,” says Carol Queen, PhD, Staff Sexologist for Good Vibrations, an online sex toy shop. Determine what kinds of play you’re OK with before someone pulls out handcuffs. Also, choose a safe word, one unrelated to sex either of you can say to halt what’s happening. To start the limits conversation, exchange one idea each about something you’d like to experience. “Worst case: Your move stays a fantasy. Best case: There are two new options on your sexual menu,” says Dr. Queen.

2. Ruts. It can be easy to move into patterns in a sexual relationship, “especially if a couple starts out with little sex information or strong opinions about what ‘normal’ sex is, leading them to reject many erotic options,” says Dr. Queen. If your sexual playbook becomes staid, she suggests talking to a sex therapist or coach—or doing some reading. “Some books, like Hot Sex! Over 200 Things You Can Try Tonight, are made to be browsed together, giving you spicy ideas and info to boot,” says Dr. Queen.

3. Dysfunction. Failure to launch and premature party ending are touchy subjects. “Most guys don’t want to talk about it while in bed,” says Joel D. Block, PhD, author of Do It My Way. So instead, “ask him to pleasure you—it takes the tension away from his difficulty.” If you have the issue, say, dryness, Dr. Block suggests saying, “I love when you go more slowly” or “I need more foreplay to get me started.” If dysfunction happens repeatedly, acknowledge the problem outside of the bedroom. “You could say, ‘If I’m feeling pressured it works against me, but know that I’m OK. We’ll get past this.” If he elaborates, cool. If not, drop the issue knowing you’ve at least mentioned it in a sensitive, supportive manner.

4. Safety. “It doesn’t matter how many sex partners each of you has had,” points out Dr. Queen. “HPV and other bugs hitch a ride on human genitals, just as the common cold goes for your nose and throat.” It’s best to talk about this matter-of-factly before you have sex for the first time. Try: “This is what I do for birth control” and “These are my standards for safe sex.” “It’s your body, and some conditions are forever—including unplanned offspring,” adds Dr. Queen.

5. Exclusivity. Don’t assume. “If you don’t come to a clear verbal agreement and think, ‘he couldn’t be with someone else,’ you’re lying to yourself,” says Laurie Puhn, couples mediator, author and creator of the nationwide course Fight Less, Love More. “Many women prefer to assume exclusivity because they’re afraid the guy won’t agree to it.” In that case, you should know and make an informed decision about whether to have sex. How do you get into that topic gracefully? “You should both feel comfortable, perhaps in one of your homes or in a dimly lit lounge,” says Puhn. “Just don’t talk about it when either of you has had more than one drink.”

6. Timing. Are you in the mood now? What about now? “If one person is raring to go and the other gives compliance sex,’ it will not only fail to be physically gratifying but also to produce emotional connection,” says Grenny. It’s better to talk about not wanting sex, but how do you say “no” without it sounding like “never”? “Touch your mate, smile and suggest another time,” says Puhn. “This says I love you and want to be intimate, but not tonight.” Be sure to follow through on the follow-up appointment.

7. Feedback. Discuss what turns you on—and what doesn’t—as unnatural as it may feel. “Our partners aren’t mind readers,” explains Dr. Queen, who suggests starting with, “There are things I think about, sexually, that I never mention.” From there, a general “Can we talk about this more?” usually does the trick. During the act, “maneuver into position and make sounds of pleasure to encourage your partner toward a certain behavior,” says Dr. Block. “Men appreciate these nonverbal prompts.” They also respond well to comments that are about you, rather than about him. So instead of “do this,” try, “When you do this, it’s hot for me.”

8. Planning. This may sound utterly unromantic, but couples should talk about how to fit sex into their busy schedules. “Americans have intercourse an average of a bit more than once a week,” says Dr. Block. “But it’s quality, not quantity that counts.” Dr. Block suggests deciding how much is mutually acceptable, and whether that includes quiet sex while visiting relatives and unexpected quickies.If one of you is a morning sex person and the other an evening sex person, “calendar a compromise: a weekend afternoon delight or an after-work assignation,” says Dr. Queen.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Elevate Your Sex Life with Meditation

by zfortadminin Mind, Sex

Are you craving a deeper connection to your lover?  Mind Body Green shows you 4 ways to take your sex life to the next level with meditation. 

Life is indeed like a box of chocolates. But here’s the question: are you fully appreciating what’s inside the box?

In other words, do you pop any of the chocolates into your mouth and finish in seconds? Or, do you take the time to look at the chocolates, figure out which flavor appeals to you most, and then experience eating it completely, activating all of your senses?

The automatic response is to go through life somewhat mindlessly. But when we take the time to look, listen, touch, smell and taste what’s available to us in this life, things get a whole lot better.

Sure, many of us incorporate superfoods like acai berries, maca, and even chocolate into our diets to healthily fuel us, I’ll argue that the most fun super-fuel is sex. Frequent great sex will boost your physical and emotional vitality, mental clarity and spiritual well-being.

The better quality the sex, the more empowered you will feel in all areas of your life. The best kind of sex makes us present, in touch with ourselves, and lets us be vulnerably, fully seen — both physically and emotionally “stripped down.” This is where meditation comes into play — literally!

Whether you’re a novice or expert in meditation, incorporating the practice into your sex life can put the “OM” into your “OMG!” Here’s why:

1. Meditation makes you realize the power of your mind.

And that recognition gives you sexual power. So why have the fast food version of sex when you can have decadent, transformative and energizing sex through your mindfulness practice? An intimate relationship allows us to rest and remove our daily armor and recharge, but too often we get in and out of the zone as if in a race to beat the commercials before resuming Game of Thrones.

When we make the effort to become more present with our sensory experiences, we realize the power of sexual energy. In fact, it’s one of the most readily available, internal forces that human beings have to harness their qi (life force).

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Improve Your Love by Avoiding these Dating Pitfalls

by zfortadminin RELATIONSHIPS

Relationships are filled with twists and turns. But there are some common pitfalls you can avoid to be sure your relationship is strong and deepens. 

Millions of couples endure the nightmare of relationship breakdown every year and the divorce rate shows no sign of slowing. It seems that many people find it very difficult to form lasting, happy relationships and here are 5 common mistakes that kill relationships. Get rid of them from your relationship and you’ll enjoy a happier love life.

1. Without doubt, the single worst way to spoil your relationship is to be argumentative because you need to be right. This is DEADLY. Argumentative people will argue to the nth degree until they “win” about everything and anything. They will not listen and consider their partner’s viewpoints and will rarely if ever compromise. Any criticism, even if fair and justified will be met with defensive and sometimes angry responses as the need to be right overrides the need to compromise and improve the relationship. Try not to get into silly, futile arguments and remember that winning arguments isn’t the objective, but what is best for your relationship – if you want it to last.

2. Respect for each is absolutely fundamental. This means accepting and loving your partner for the wonderful, unique human being they are. However, many people actually believe they “own” their partner, and expect them to conform in ways they deem appropriate. This is more like slavery than love! Your partner is not your private property, they certainly aren’t your slave and it isn’t conducive to a happy relationship to restrict their freedoms by treating them this way. Your partner may want to grow in ways you may not like or even feel comfortable with but preventing their growth not only stifles them but you as well. Because your partner will treat you in the same way. Instead of restricting each other’s freedoms, it is far better encourage your partner to grow and become the person they want to be. Indeed, this is the only way true love can flourish.

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Creating a Lasting Love

by zfortadminin LOVE

The Huffington Post takes a close look at creating a lasting, committed relationship last with 5 simple steps.

We don’t get to see what comes next.

We don’t see how they cope with the realities of life. We don’t see how they adjust to living together or what happens after the wedding and the honeymoon. Most of all, we don’t see how couples stay together, year after year, through raising kids, job losses, ill health, in-laws and all the other daily things that make up a life.

My first marriage lasted nine years and I ended up with three gorgeous boys. That first marriage taught me a lot, mostly what I didn’t want in a relationship. Then I was incredibly lucky to meet my current husband and we have been together happily defying the statistics for the past 23 years.

Second marriages often fail. Part of that is what Oprah calls “showing up wearing another pair of pants”. You haven’t worked through all your issues so you attract the same kind of person over and over until you finally get the lesson. The other part of that is the strain of blending two families together — it doesn’t always look like “The Brady Bunch.”

Our family kind of did look a bit like that as I had three sons and my partner had four daughters but that was where the similarity ended. It wasn’t all smiling faces and there was no “Alice, the housekeeper,” although I could have really used one of those!

What I learned was this — staying together takes work and commitment, which doesn’t sound very sexy but it’s the truth. What that looked like for us were these simple steps:

1. Be committed.

When the going gets tough (and it will get tough at times) be there for each other. It is easy to fall into blaming or pitching a fit but the best thing you can do is to talk it out.

I wasn’t good at this in the beginning. I figured that I had walked out on one marriage and I could do it again, I would survive (Cue Gloria Gaynor’s song “I will Survive” as the theme song for my life.) I slowly figured out that hanging on together was a much better option and talking things through made everyone feel happier.

2. Take time as a couple.

Making time to reconnect with each other every day, without the kids is the number one priority. Taking just half an hour to share what’s going on for each of you at the end of the day is a key strategy to a lasting relationship. The kids will take up all available time if you let them.

When we had five of them living with us, it would have been easy to focus just on them and we did give them all lots of attention. We also made it a point to spend time as a couple, especially at the end of the day and it is something we still do now that all the kids have left home.

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Enchant Your Partner with Ease

by zfortadminin DATING ADVICE

How are your flirting skills? Have you ever tried to lure your partner in with enchantment?

The enchantresses in the legends of King Arthur brought balance to a society ruled by male domination. Through their seductive, female magic they magnetized the men of Camelot– the King’s warriors set aside their brutish behavior and broke their backs to court these women. They acted with chivalry in the hopes of earning a smidgen of feminine admiration and tender, female affection.

You, too, can be a modern-day enchantress and inspire a man to honor the laws of chivalry in your relationship. You can magnetize and hypnotize the men you are dating by embracing the power a woman has when creating intimacy with a man!

By having the right energy around a man and using the right words and body language when interacting with him, you can ignite long-lasting flames of passion in his susceptible heart!

Here are 3 ways you can be a more seductively intimate woman and effortlessly enchant men:

1. MAGNETIZE HIM WITH YOUR SOFT SIDE

When a modern enchantress is with a man, she no longer is the power-playing professional or the multi-tasking, in-charge mother of three children—she is a leaf on the river.

To be a leaf on the river, you slow down, set aside all strategies and ideas you have about how to ‘hook a man’, and just go with the flow of the moment when with men. You take deep breaths, sit back, feel soft inside, warm in your heart and just enjoy the memories created by chemistry and romantic connection.

An enchantress is a master at ‘just being’. She knows how to feel feminine and vulnerable around a man and can relax into that vulnerability. She doesn’t try to improve upon the relationship or scramble to seal the bond. She doesn’t fill in all the awkward silences when with him or struggle to make his experiences, when around her, more enjoyable.

She just lets the moments unfold as they will. She allows a man to come forward at his own pace, and she lets him nurture her with HIS attention and affection.

An enchantress knows that her soft side is ALWAYS open to receiving. See, many of us women can’t receive. We complain about our loneliness and unmet needs and we desperately want areal man to come in and sweep us off our feet, but we have to do our part to achieve this. We have to have feminine energy to attract masculine energy.

Many of us have a hard time doing absolutely nothing but being available to a man’s advances. We want to do what we do best: bring the woman we are at our job and our mothering energy into the room so that we can fix, control, and manage the relationship at the pace we want and in the amount of time we want.

An enchantress is sexy because she never attempts this.  She knows that desperately wrapping herself into a pretzel to get what she wants when she wants it from a man actually gives a man too much power over her heart and life force.

She is a goddess who has an unwavering, tranquil, slow-paced energy about her that invites calm, love, sensuality, cuddles, tenderness and soft, sweet connection.

2. LISTEN WELL TO HOOK HIM

An enchantress can draw out a man’s vulnerability within minutes. She knows how to make him feel nervous and safe, at the same time.   She can make him feel so honored to be in her presence that he feels unnerved, while at the same time, she can make him feel so emotionally safe that he will open up entirely with her about his life.

The best way to make a man feel unnerved yet safe enough to expose his secrets is to listen to him at the right moments! This is so important.

When you are with a man, try to really hear what he says to you. Don’t speak over him, don’t glance down at your phone, don’t let your thoughts drift, don’t promise him you are listening when you are doing two other things at the same time, etc.

There are so many ways in which our minds keep us from connecting with other people. An enchantress uses her female energy to be in the moment and not a victim of her mental energy.

Ever go to a psychologist? Know how they sit calmly in front of you, looking at you and waiting for you to speak? They are inviting your feelings and thoughts out into the open. They are acting like vessels into which you can place your feelings and thoughts.

An enchantress does the same thing with a man— she draws a man toward her through her capacity to hear and HOLD his feelings and thoughts. She LISTENS to his soul as his mouth speaks.

You must clear your thoughts and open your heart to do this. You have to drop what you are doing and fully listen with your ears, heart, mind, and body.

3. SEDUCE HIM WITH TOUCH

If you gently touch a man when you feel extra connected to him– in moments when he has touched your heart with wonderful laughter or deep empathy– it can show him that his feelings matter to you and that his intentions have landed with your heart.

Don’t touch him too often and don’t use touch to force a connection. Just touch him in key moments, and make your touch a gift to him to show him that you are available to the connection.

When you can use your touch to show him that you both are “on the same page” and are “in tune” physically, spiritually and emotionally, love will start to brew in his heart and he won’t understand why but he will know it’s real.

Love is about deep intimacy that’s created in the space between two lovers. A highly intimate woman is always going to know the best way to use her caresses to bridge that space and fill it with understanding, desire and compassion.

Enchantresses of old were masters at using their feminine energy to magnetize men. They understood that men wanted desperately to feel brave, honored, respected and supported.  These knights also wanted to feel soothed and calmed inside through the power of a woman’s serene and sensuous love. Enchantresses were able to use all this knowledge about a man’s needs to hypnotize and magentize them during intimate moments.

Enchantresses are able to get strong, pridefilled men to step up and honor them.  They got these knights in shing armor to respect and tend to their female feelings and needs without doing much more than just sitting back and channeling their soft, seductive, connected sexy side.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Love Advice You Can Ignore

by zfortadminin DATING ADVICE, LOVE

Do you seek a lot of advice from friends and family about your relationship? Naij shares 7 common love phrases you can throw out of your vocabulary and stop listening to!

Everybody has one thing or another to share when it comes to love and relationship but not all advice are meant to be followed. People give advice according to their experience but it will not necessarily work for you the way it worked for them.

Let us take a look at seven love advice that you should think twice about:

1. Forgive and forget: Yes, forgiveness is a very important aspect of every relationship, but this is usually easier said than done, especially the part about forgetting. When you have been hurt, letting-go takes time and you never forget.

If you try to rush this process, you will end up finding that all you did was sweep everything under the carpet and soon after, things will only blow up in your face. Take your time, talk it out with your partner and do not rush so that when you do forgive, you forgive for real.

2. Love conquers all: Love conquers a lot of things, no doubt, but it does not conquer every single thing you will face in your relationship. With some issues, only patience, time and maturity or even a breakup will help you solve it.

A lot of people are in relationships that are not working out simply because they stubbornly believe that just because they are in love, everything should be okay. You need to recognize the things that love is incapable of dealing with and work on them with what is needed.

Marriage couple marital problems in bed. Sex problem or other. W

3. Never go to bed angry: This advice is basically saying you must solve all problems and deal with every argument all within the day. Frankly, this is just impossible. Sometimes, some problems need time to be solved.

Sometimes, all you need is a break, to sleep on your argument and get some much needed space for things to get better. If you have a time limit on all your fights, a lot of things will not be tackled and at the end of the day, you will say good night when you know you are not really at peace with yourself and your relationship.

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Single Ladies Bucket List

by zfortadminin LOVE

Loving yourself and being close to your true desires is important before being in a committed relationship. What have you dreamed of doing?

All the single ladies! All the single ladies! You’ve got it as good as Queen Bey’s dance moves and, in the midst of all my wedding planning madness, I can’t help but be a little nostalgic for that time gone by. So, allow me to channel my inner Tony Robbins and preach for a minute on what every girl should do before letting someone put a ring on it… Should you decide that you would actually like someone to eventually put a ring on it.

1. Fall head over heels in love with the wrong guy.

As my grandma and Kelly Clarkson always say, “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”

2. Teach yourself to cook one thing really, really well.

My delicacy is microwaving a bowl of chocolate chips and peanut butter for the perfect length of time to make “Dessert Soup.” I don’t care what yours is, as long as you indulge your inner cavewoman and figure out how to put food on your own table (the Taco Bell drive-through does not count.)

3. Determine which clothes you can just plain wash, which go on the delicate cycle, and which have to be dry cleaned.

It will save you loads of heartache and money. #RIPGoldBikiniIPutInTheDryer

4. Chase your dream job.

You might feel like a puppy chasing its tail, but that’s better than simply chasing a man.

summer holidays, technology and beach concept - girls making self portrait on the beach

5. Travel with your girlfriends.

Spring break doesn’t count. Learn to say “kiss me” and “I have pepper spray” in a foreign language, and don’t be afraid to shout either.

6. Hang out with your mom.

Go through her closet instead of going shopping; her vintage hand-me-downs will be just as glam as any trend on Gilt, and a whole lot cheaper.

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Build Your Relationship on Communication

by zfortadminin DATING ADVICE, RELATIONSHIPS

Building a strong relationship takes time and mutual effort. The Cornerstone of success starts witht he way you connect and communicate.

You likely don’t need to be convinced that communication is foundational to a great marriage. If you’ve been married for any length of time, you know how hard it can be to understand that person to whom you’ve pledged your life. You’ve seen molehills transformed into mountains because of miscommunication and misunderstood. You’ve experienced the frustration of feeling like you’re not being heard.

If a couple knows how to talk to and listen to one another with understanding and respect, there are few problems that can’t be overcome. On the flip side, when the communication skills are lacking, it doesn’t take much to break a marriage.As you evaluate your own relationship, here are some things to focus on.

Communication Begins with Listening

If you’ve ever tried to talk to someone who just wouldn’t listen, you know it doesn’t work too well. Instead of creating understanding and connection, it produces frustration and isolation.

All of us, men and women, have got to learn to listen patiently. It isn’t easy though. Sometimes we assume we understand what our mate is saying, and instead of really listening to them when they are talking, we spend the whole time plotting our response. We mentally shoot down points that they may not even be making, and we miss their point entirely.

My spouse deserves to be heard. I need to fight the temptation to “know what she is going to say.” I must be quiet, stop and listen to her – and I don’t just mean physical quietness, either. I need to refrain from mentally rehearsing my argument and really give her my full attention and focus. My undivided attention validates who she is and conveys my respect for her feelings. It gives her a sense of value, and it fosters co-operation, rather than competition, between us.

In many couples there is one person who is more verbal than the other. Two thirds of the time the woman is more verbal than the man, but sometimes it is the man who talks more. It is especially important for the talker to learn good listening skills and to give your mate the time to talk. If you feel like your spouse isn’t communicative enough, make sure you’re giving them a chance to open up. If you are filling the air with words, your spouse won’t be able to share unless they are willing to fight for “air time”. That isn’t likely to happen, and instead it drives them deeper into privacy.

If you want to improve the communication in your marriage, start here. Invite your spouse to share what’s going on in their heart. Shut everything else out – the TV, the computer, the phone – and focus on them, resisting the urge to pass judgment or argue. Keep an open mind and hear out their perspective.

Make the Effort to Truly Understand

How many times have you and your spouse had an argument, only to discover that the fight could have been avoided if you had truly taken the time to understand one another? My wife and I have had times where, as we worked through an area of disagreement, we discovered that we didn’t really disagree at all…we only thought we disagreed because we were too impatient to fully understand one another.

Too often we’re just listening to the words and not really to the heart. We have to listen to the whole message. There needs to be a clear commitment to listening to what my spouse is trying to say, and to be a safe environment in which they can share their deepest feelings.

The key word here is empathy – where I’m trying to see what it‘s like to look at life through their eyes. Sure, my viewpoint is so clear to me and my position seems so right, and I’ve got my points that I want to make in this discussion. But winning the argument can’t be what it’s about. As it says in Phil. 2:3-4, “look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” We’ve got to work hard to empathize; to see life from our spouse’s perspective. And when we do that, we can connect so much better because we’re stepping into their world. It feels so good to be understood.

We need to listen with more than just with our ears; we really need to go below the surface. Researchers estimate that 65% or more of our communication is non-verbal. Paying attention to body language and your spouse’s actions will help you grasp what they mean by the words they say. And the more our spouse senses that we are truly hearing them, the more secure they will feel to continue sharing at deeper levels.

The deeper we go, the more intimate the relationship becomes. A good marriage is one in which the couple is continuously growing in transparent disclosure. We need to seek to understand our spouse to their core. Rather than growing complacent or trying to fit them into your own mould, put in the effort to get to their heart. Just listen and let them express who they are. As you get to know their heart, you’ll likely grow in your desire to be with them.

Authenticity and Sensitivity

If we want to grow in our marital intimacy, it requires that we be authentic with one another. There is no place for deceit or dishonesty within marriage. The intimacy we are pursuing is one in which we are fully known, and yet fully loved.

Full transparency is risky, because it requires us to lay our heart bare for another to see. We fear sharing at this depth because there is a chance we will be rejected when the person sees us for who we really are. And that’s why it’s so critical to foster a sense of safety. My spouse needs to know that if she shares what’s really going on inside, I’m not going to reject her or drop the hammer on her. She also needs to know that she can take my words at face value and believe what I’m saying to her. If that trust doesn’t exist, then we have no communication.

Of course, if we are really being honest with one another, there are going to be times when we have to share our disappointments and frustrations towards one another. The key in these instances is to do it in a sensitive, positive way: to speak the truth in love. Truth should never be used to bash the other person, with the defence that “I’m just being truthful.” Truth need not be conveyed harshly; there is always a way to say things kindly. Ephesians 4:29 puts it like this: “Do not let any unwholesome word come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it might benefit all who listen.” We need to be gentle and use words that encourage one another, and remain open to working things through in an honest but positive way.

Forgiveness

Some couples are not on the same page because they haven’t worked through issues of forgiveness. It is impossible to develop meaningful communication in a marriage apart from a willingness to freely forgive one another. Every marriage goes through tough times, and if we are going to pull through those things we have to cut each other some slack and be willing to put things behind us.

Someone put it this way: If friendship is like the bricks in the wall of your marriage, understand that the mortar is forgiveness. Forgiveness is what holds the friendship together. I tell couples when I have the privilege to marry them, “There should be nobody in this world that you will be more patient with than the one whose hand you’re holding now at the altar.” But the funny thing is, I can be the most impatient and the most unforgiving with my spouse. I’ll be gracious to other people and everyone thinks that Dave’s such a nice guy. Meantime, I don’t cut my wife and kids the slack that they deserve and they’re the ones I love the most. It needs to be the opposite.

If you are reading this and you know there are issues between you and your spouse, look each other in the eye and say “You know, we want to move on from here. We want to work things out. We want to have a great marriage.” And to forgive feely is the real secret to that. Forgive as the Lord forgave you – completely and unconditionally. As you release your spouse, you’ll discover that it is a gift to yourself as much as it is to them.

Learning to communicate with your spouse is a lifelong process. There will be ups and downs – times when you’re clicking on all cylinders, and times when you feel worlds apart. But if you commit yourselves to working to understand one another, sharing yourselves transparently and forgiving through the hard times, you will have a strong foundation upon which to build a marriage that you love being a part of.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

 

How Millennials View Sex

by zfortadminin Sex

Willing to reject labels altogether?

We live in a new era and new ways of discovering ourselves and our world around sex.
Do you feel comfortable with this or do you feel like a fish learning how to swim in new waters.

Here is a perspective of how millennials view sex.

Bisexual, pansexual, demiromantic, aromantic — the sexual identities with which people label themselves continue to become more diverse and more mainstream. But think back to the days long, long ago, when conversations about sexuality were typically limited to gay or straight and maybe, once in a while, bisexual. (Yawn, am I right?)

So what is it about millennials, who are both open to sexual fluidity and willing to reject labels altogether?

Curated by Timothy
Original Article

Choosing a Woman Instead of a Man

by zfortadminin LOVE

Insightful of how one woman, Tatum O’Neal, crossed the bridge to finding pleasure and fulfillment in the intimate company of a woman.

Love and life are a continuum, ever expanding our knowledge, experiences and discovery of who we feel we truly are.

I went on my first date with a woman in the ’90s, after I got divorced from my husband. I was in my 30s then and knew that I was interested in women, but I was a little uncomfortable with it—I just couldn’t manage it. I remember there was one very boyish girl who liked me a lot, and she was so aggressive that it was too much for me. I experimented with women a lot during that time, but that was when I was in my drug phase, so I don’t really count it. I wasn’t clean, so I wasn’t really clear on what I was doing or what I wanted.

Now I’ve had a number of years of being present and clear, and that has changed everything in my life. It’s changed my relationships with my children, my relationship with work, my relationships with people, my relationship with myself. Now I’m clean and aware and alive and interested in the world, saying, “Dating women is exciting to me, and this is turning me on.”

I dated in the heterosexual world up until about four years ago, when I started thinking about dating women—just thinking about it. I was talking to my best friend Tracey Cunningham, the great hair colorist, and there were a couple of pretty girls working in her salon. I was looking at one of them, and I said, “I want to go on a date with her!”

I finally decided to pursue it last year. I went to a Super Bowl party hosted by Wallis Annenberg, right down the street from where I live in L.A., and I saw this hot, beautiful woman in her mid-30s serving drinks. She was kind of tough and sassy. I got her number and I think she called me, or I called her—I can’t remember—and we went on a date. We wound up dating for a couple of months, until she wanted it to be serious, but it was too soon for me. Then there was this actress I flirted with for a little bit, but I think she was with somebody else at the time. More recently I met this adorable girl through another acquaintance, and she and I were talking, FaceTiming and stuff, but she’s a little young for me. I’m not going to date so many 30-year-olds because there’s not enough life experience. I’m not just interested in sex, you know? There needs to be a little bit more to the relationship. But it’s still a whole new world for me. It’s exhilarating.

When you start dating women, people try to make it about choice, like you have to decide if you’re gay or not. People ask me, “Do you think it’s because men were hard on you when you were younger?” Or “Do you think you’ll never date another man?” I can’t really say for sure, because I haven’t been dating women for that long. It’s been a while since I dated a man, about two and a half years. In the physical sense, I’m not attracted to men right now at all. I had experiences with women prior to my marriage, and I had experiences after the divorce. But because I was raised in such a tough, masculine, male-oriented environment, it just didn’t even seem possible to date women seriously until I hit the determining age of half a century, which is when you figure out what you like and what you don’t—or at least I did. I’m not making a decision one way or the other, but I think that there is a softer, more gentle quality about women, and that’s what I’m attracted to.

I’m very private and I don’t go out much, so dating can be difficult. I don’t have one-night stands at all anymore, so unless somebody is meaningful to me, no one comes into my house, nor do I go into theirs. I imagine dating is going to be a bit easier for me now that I’ve said I like women, though—I’ve been getting a lot of messages on Instagram and Facebook from so many pretty girls. Which is awesome!

When I started dating women, my children never gave it a second thought. I think my having a man around would probably have been weird for them, having such a strong father. Their father was enough man for them, for all of us. I don’t mean that in a bad way; he’s just very macho, you know? My son Kevin, who recently wrote an amazing book, has been really supportive, as has my beautiful daughter, Emily, who’s an actress. We’re very open with each other. Emily and I were recently at an event in New York that was full of very straitlaced people, and she pointed to this photographer and said, “Mom, is that girl your type?” It just made me laugh. I said, “No, no, she’s a straight girl, honey.”

I’m not sure that I have a type. I don’t want to be so superficial to say that I’m looking for someone beautiful, but beauty is inside and out, it really is. She could be a brilliant scientist or a gorgeous model. It could be that my brain is just attracted to her brain. Sometimes I’m attracted to a woman who’s tall and skinny because that’s what I want to look like. I like women with a sense of self, a sense of strength. A good personality, good perfume. I would say that great style would be a factor. I’m a big believer that style is important, and I have been in love with fashion my entire life. What you wear is who you are, I’m afraid, and I’ve believed that from the time I wore a tuxedo to the Oscars at age 10. I am very feminine, at the end of the day. I have more girly stuff and more products than anyone else. And I definitely can’t be with anybody who’s after me for any kind of superficial reason. I’ve got a keen eye for those types.

Even though I’ve really dated only three women in my life, all of them have been important to me, and meaningful. They’ve made me realize that I can be strong enough to pursue what I want without worrying about what people will think. Part of this is about standing up to the structure that men have created in our country. I grew up in a household where my dad’s favorite sport was boxing, and I went to a ton of boxing matches where men pummeled each other for money and then ended up with MS or brain damage. There wasn’t a lot of women’s empowerment in my childhood. Hollywood, just like politics, is still very male-dominated. It’s getting better, but we’re not there yet—for action heroes, there’s one Sandra Bullock to 10 Will Smiths, you know? Women choosing whom they want to sleep with is just a piece of it. I want women to have the best of it—to have bigger voices and run studios and be able to do whatever they want. I want my daughter to have a world where her word is as valid and as meaningful and as important as any man’s.

I’ve never really had any gay women icons—maybe I’ll be the next gay icon! What’s new for me is figuring out how beautiful and honest women can be with each other and how there’s a different closeness than you’ll have with any man. I hope I’ll inspire women to experiment more and try dating women if they want to. If I can help a little girl who feels trapped to come out—oh, my gosh, that would mean the world to me. There are a lot of people who might be interested in dating someone outside of what is expected for their gender, but there’s so much judgment around it from family and friends. Society gives younger women—and men, for that matter—so little choice.

Curated by Timothy
Original Article

A Moving Tribute to LOVE from Maya Angelou

by zfortadminin LOVE

“I am grateful to be happy in love and to be loved now and to be able to love because it liberates. LOVE liberates…”
maya angelou

“… supposed I am gonna be somebody. She released me. She freed me to say I may have something in me…. that will be of value. Maybe not just to me… that’s LOVE.”
maya angelou_003

This powerful sharing of Maya Angelou about the love of her mother for her and how that freed her to be who she came here to be.

Sexy Home Dates

by zfortadminin DATING ADVICE, LOVE

What is your favorite fun date at home—with food or without?

When my husband and I were first married, we were both working full-time and had no kids, so each week we would head out to dinner or a play or a concert or a movie . . . date nights were so fun and easy!

Fast forward 9 years and three kids under the age of 6. We have a student loan debt the size of Alaska (thank you Physical Therapy school) and can’t afford a babysitter every weekend. Plus, I don’t want to leave my 4 month old baby with just anyone!

So, we have had to be creative with our dating life. We still make it a priority to set aside one night a week where we turn off the computers and focus on just being together. Here are some of our favorite at-home date ideas that we have tried (and loved!)!

Plus . . . even if you don’t like these ideas, there are links to approximately 350 MORE date ideas at the bottom of this post. You have no excuse! That will take care of date nights for the next 7 years! You are welcome. :)

1. Play – Would You Rather? You will learn a lot about a person that you never knew when they are faced with a crazy question . . . you can find a lot of questions here.

2. Forget Wine and Cheese . . . how about a Chocolate Tasting night? You can get all the info right here, along with a cute printable to make it happen.

3. Watch a sports game together (or record one on the DVR and watch it together later). Eat nachos and hot dogs and cheer for your favorite team. Make bets on who will win and choose a fun prize for the winner.

4. Give each other massages. Use Google or You Tube to learn some proper techniques and get to rubbing!

5. Have a “finger foods only” dinner and feed each other.

6. Invest in an ice cream maker or a bread maker (you can actually get some pretty decent ones for really cheap at a local thrift store or consignment store) and invent your own concoctions.

7. Go on a picnic. If it’s warm enough, try to go outside (even if it’s in your own backyard). And if it’s too cold, spread a quilt out on the floor, make some sandwiches, and keep your picnic indoors.

8. Have a karaoke night! Find songs with lyrics on You Tube and sing your heart out. This is funniest if you can find some heart-wrenching ballads to belt out. :)

9. Decorate mugs for each other. You can pick up mugs at the Dollar Store and use a sharpie marker to decorate it. It will be such a fun reminder of how much you love each other as you drink from it each morning (oh, how I love cute, cheesy love!)! Here is a cute example.

10. Play the Newlywed Game! See how well you really know one another. Have prizes for every correct answer. You can check out some fun questions here.

11. Make Homemade Donuts. This recipe for Homemade Spudnuts is my favorite and it makes a TON so you can totally share some with the neighbors (or eat them all yourself . . . I won’t judge).

12. Have a Video Game night. Seriously, I did this after we had been married for a couple months and we stayed up playing video games until 3 am . . . and my husband pretty much knew then that I was the best wife ever.

13. Make it a theme night! Choose a theme and center everything you do around it. For example, if you choose an Italian theme, you could eat spaghetti and gelato, then watch a movie like The Italian Job or Life is Beautiful. Some other fun theme ideas: Mexican, Asian, Christmas, Kid’s theme, 1950’s (or any decade), etc, etc.

14. Have a romantic candle light dinner. It doesn’t matter if you are eating hot dogs and macaroni and cheese . . . anything eaten by candlelight is romantic (like our Crazy Dinner!)

15. Have a Fondue Night. Don’t have a fondue machine? No worries! You can melt chocolate or other dipping sauces in a slow cooker or even on your stove top! Check out my favorite Rocky Road Fondue dip.

16. Host a Book Club . . . for two! Check out two copies of the same book at the library and discuss the book as you read it.

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Sex Adventures: Awesome for Every Couple

by zfortadminin Sex

Are you looking for more excitement and fun in your sex life?

Sometimes as a couple we encounter boredom in our relationship with our partner and that includes sex and intimacy. One of our solutions is to ask the help of relationship experts or do counseling.

Oftentimes, some solutions can be found from many different sources such as this video.

In this video you can find a list of sex adventures for every couple to try and spice up their sex life.

xoxo

The Anniversary Letter

by zfortadminin RELATIONSHIPS

Do you ever wonder how your love effects your friends and family?
A deeper look from an astute daughter for her parents on their 25th Wedding Anniversary.

Dear Parents,

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY.

Indian Brides Hands Holding BouquetThank you so much for everything you both have done for me. I know I’m not good with expressing my emotions but I’m giving it a try today. You’ve provided me with everything I have ever wanted and much more. I am eternally grateful. I’ve been told about how humble and modest I am by my friends and quoting Jaju, “it is all because of your upbringing by your parents”, so well done both of you.

I’ve never seen a more stable couple, adjusting to each others needs and desires in a more healthier and more understanding manner. You fit together like two puzzle pieces. You compliment each other like no one else can. You make up for each others shortcomings, never leaving the other one’s side. Basically, I think you were ‘made for each other’. So thank you Chachu for bringing them together and providing me with the best set of parents anyone could ask for.

You have both always supported me through everything; my whining, my tantrums and my bad days. You have never forced me to do anything your way, letting me make my own decisions and still standing by my side through thick and thin. Thank you for trusting in me and shaping me into the young woman I am today. They say “you are a product of your parents”. So, I think it is safe to say you have created a pretty decent product. Wherever I am today, all my accomplishments have only been possible because of the two of you. If there is a bright future ahead of me, I only have you two to thank for it.

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