weight Archives

WHY Do You Weigh Yourself?

January 19, 2017January 22, 2024 by Gina Cloudin Body, Wellness

Yesterday as I was leaving my gym, I noticed a young woman 20-ish, standing naked on the scale in the locker room. I also noticed standing near her was another naked woman who was probably her grandmother, waiting for her turn to weigh in. This caught my attention because I thought to myself why do we weigh ourselves?

Now a lot of you are thinking, “Gina done lost her mind! Duh!” But hang with me here, because you all know that I look at things from a different angle, and generate new perspectives that I share with you. The important thing, as I am prone to do with EVERYTHING is to ask the question WHY. Since I was a kid, that question is so prevalent in my life that I should be known as a whyman, instead of a woman. ( Ok, you know I always sneak in a weird pun. Let’s hope that’s the only one today.)

Today I want to invite you to explore the WHY to this question so that you have a vehicle to become more conscious of the many things we all do unconsciously and to break away from the herd and THINK FOR YOURSELF. This way of thinking is like a muscle, and the more you use it, the stronger it gets.

Ok, so seriously, why do we weigh ourselves? What real purpose does it serve? What does that number on the scale have to do with anything important or relevant in our lives? I’m speaking here of a healthy person, just as a disclaimer. I know that there are some perhaps medical conditions where weight is a determinant or a marker of something, or professional fighters weight themselves for fairness in the ring, but I’m speaking just of the average person and particularly women. What’s the first thought that came to your mind in answer to that question? Did your brain go all fuzzy with, “hmmm, to find out what I weigh?” Think again…

That number on the scale has absolutely no meaning other than its purpose to frustrate and lower the self-esteem of almost every woman who steps onto one. Once you get that number, you IMMEDIATELY (talk about instant non gratification) feel that there’s something wrong with you. The number is wrong and you need to change it, even if it’s only a couple of pounds. Which then leads to your endless googling and obsessing about the ultimate weight-loss products, or deciding to go on a diet. That number leads to comparison of what other people weigh, like that woman you saw in the magazine (which one, so many!) that made you hate your thighs even more than you already do, or your facial lines, or your eyebrows,or your butt, or your…..fill in the blank.

THAT FREAKIN’ NUMBER is a trigger, a catalyst that’s damned near Pavlovian to make you feel bad about you! Pretty soon all you have to do is SEE a scale and you’re terrified. All those bad feeling start a rush of chemicals in your body, aka hormones, that make you feel like crap about yourself and soon you’re depressed. In fact, most women will tell you that just the sight of a scale provokes anxiety. I saw a statistic that said most women weight themselves an average of twice a week, or 104 times a year! Think about the repetition of an act that makes you feel bad about yourself that many times in a year and the effect that has on your psyche. That irrelevant number on the scale leads to depression and the sense of inferiority for almost every woman. Tragically, even anorexics experience exactly the same thing because the number is never small enough.

Realizing they’re not their “ideal” weight, some women eat their feelings, so may end up self-soothing with food, and voila, when you step on the scale, guess what?? That sneaky number is bigger. So you’re now more depressed, and you end up on an anti-depressant, which can make you eat more, eat less, feel suicidal, lose your sex drive, and affect your hormones. Do you see the vicious cycle that develops just from stepping onto a scale?? Do you see the path of disempowerment that can be triggered by this practice of weighing ourselves? To some of you it may seem I’m exaggerating, but for many this is truth.

You might argue that someone who is chronically overweight and on a program to lose weight would be inspired by the number coming down, and while that is true to some degree, it is also setting them up to define their successes by THAT NUMBER, rather than celebrating their discipline, commitment and choices, and the obvious visual that they’re shrinking.

Is that number a goal, a target, a golden ticket? Is it like winning the lottery? And what is the RIGHT number? There is no right number on a scale. It’s an insidious tool to keep you in the marketplace of all the consumerism revolving around deflating and destroying women’s bodies and beauty — and ultimately our power. The right number comes from you living a healthy, balanced life; body, mind and spirit. Our mindset is to reward ourselves for a number goal, rather than the goal of living in integrity with our authentic selves. I wrote a blog post a while back called “Joy, the Key To Weight Loss” (in the archives), and in it I talk about the idea that when we are content inside, we are content outside, and our weight arrives at our most healthy, natural number.

So you see the scale is actually a tool that undermines your self-esteem, your self-worth and a healthy sense of your body. What if instead of stepping on the scale you simply paid attention to how you feel, to the way your clothes fit? What if you ate a healthy diet and allowed your body to take the shape that it naturally wants to inhabit? What if you exercised regularly, were emotionally healthy, self-loving and had a strong and comfortable connection to your sexuality?What if you became guided by what you felt on the inside, instead of by the number reflected on the outside? A number, by the way, chosen by an industry focused on taking your money and your self-worth. As it’s used by most women, that scale is a weapon of self-destruction

What if you decided to never ever set foot on a scale again to find out what that number is? What if you decided right now to chuck the one you may own?

Because I do share personally, I can tell you that I have truly lived this way. I’ve never personally owned a scale, nor will I. Like any woman, my weight has fluctuated throughout my life, and I’ve had a child, so weight gain was part of that experience obviously. I know personally that when I’ve been unhappy or in self-betrayal, my weight has increased or decreased from what was MY HEALTHY. My feelings and how my clothes fit were my clues that I needed to make changes in my life. I wasn’t striving to arrive at a number on a scale, but to arrive at a place of equanimity and joy within me. And only I know where that place lives inside me. That place determines my weight, but the number has been unknown to me for years.

Yes, of course I’ve weighed myself at times, but it’s how I know NOT TO. I’ve been just as affected by seeing a number not aligned with the “ideal.” I live in the same world with all my sisters and I’m not immune to the subliminal and overt mental manipulations all around me. I CHOOSE to unplug from them and listen to the voice within me. She is my compass, my wise woman, and the keeper of my health; body, mind and soul. In my opinion, our mental health, aka our belief system, is more of a determinant in our self-esteem and physical health than almost anything else we do. When you pay attention from the inside, life changes radically.

So I ask you again: why do you weigh yourself?

I’m now asking you personally as you read this to stop and to answer what may seem like the most mundane and simple question, but to answer it for YOU personally. Answer it with the ideas in mind which I’ve shared with you in this post. This will give you a window into your own feelings which may be unconscious about your body and your relationship to it. And I truly hope it inspires you to become a WHYman about EVERYTHING. (sorry, there it is again.)

If you enjoyed this post, please share it with someone you care about, Especially the women in your lives. And that goes for you guys reading this, too. I hope that for the guys who read my posts, that doors and windows open in your mind to generate a better understanding of some of the challenges women face in the struggle to feel good about themselves.

And ladies, if you’d like some help in learning how to chuck the scale and to love yourself from the inside out, my NATURAL BEAUTY AND TRANSFORMATIONAL LIFE COACHING is an aspect of what I do that I LOVE and am passionate about. Explore the page to learn more and to watch my video.

And remember to share this post with those you feel would appreciate the message. And I invite you to weigh in here with me (got one last one in!) and leave a comment below. I’d love to know your thoughts and have you share your feelings. I’m deeply passionate about helping you shine your light and your beauty as fully and brightly as you can.

With wild, fierce love and gratitude,

Gina Cloud

My Journey Toward Loving Myself at Any Weight

February 27, 2018January 22, 2024 by Kate Oczypokin Body, Wellness

The highest weight I’ve ever been is something I never care to revisit—however, I’ve learned to love my body image no matter what the number is on the scale.

I’ve been just over 300 pounds and just under 200 pounds and everything in between. As I’ve journeyed in between those 100 pounds, I’ve learned a lot about myself.

Most importantly, I’ve learned to love myself no matter what the number says on the scale. There are days I struggle (and I mean truly struggle!) with appreciating me for me, but I know as long as I’m healthy that’s all that matters.

Here is just a brief glimpse into my journey with the scale.

I spent my childhood getting stuck in Lane Bryant dresses. In grade school, the boys in my class used to make fun of me that my butt wouldn’t fit on the small, child-sized seats. My seventh grade bathing suit consisted of a leopard print one-piece with a bust minimizer purchased from the Macy’s plus-sized women’s department—not exactly something a 12-year-old would be happy about.

I vividly remember one particularly snowy October my soccer team was losing by one goal. My coach chose to put me in as goalie and the other team’s girls were teasing me relentlessly saying “You’re putting HER in goal?” Thank God that time, my uncoordinated self blocked a kick and we made it downfield to win.

However, there was still high school when I wore size 30 tapered khakis for our school uniform instead of the flared versions most of my friends had. I rocked gold lamé pants and red velvet ones too. Both were from Lane Bryant before they started selling trendier clothes.

My freshman year of college, I decided not to walk about a mile to the grocery store with this guy I had a crush on. Every time we all took a trip to the mall, I longed to try out a Victoria’s Secret bra. Too bad most clothing manufacturers don’t understand that while you may have a large band size, cup size isn’t necessarily always large!

Years later, you know those little pictures that pop up on the side of your Facebook page? I used to hate them. I never used to like those pictures because people would see them and immediately say, “Wow you lost so much weight! How did you do it?”

Anyway, the whole weight loss thing started off as sort of an accident then grew to something a little more inspiring. When I started my freshman year of college, I automatically began walking more and the weight began to slowly come off. However, I still prided myself on never setting foot in my university’s fitness center. I was stubborn and always told my friends I was fine with being the biggest among us, or perhaps dating a guy who weighed less than me.

My senior year when the girls I lived with were giving me trouble, I began taking long walks to clear my head. Pounds began shedding a little more easily and I was hooked on the results.

This brings me into all my fat girl neuroses. I had always had a thing about going to gyms. I used to think everyone would be staring at the fat girl walking into the gym, wondering why she was there. That’s why I invested in two DVDs by the great Richard Simmons.

I kept this a secret for many weeks from my friends, but they found out quite easily. Let’s just say being friends with two boys really gives you a thick skin. It became such an ongoing joke that one of them sent me an “I party with Richard Simmons” t-shirt.

All that chorus line kicking and self-loving Richard professed in Sweatin’ to the Oldies did have its advantages though. I got down to a size 20 without even setting foot in my apartment building’s tiny overcrowded gym. This was accompanied with getting off the bus earlier and walking a few extra blocks to work and taking the stairs to my seventh floor apartment.

The other neurosis I had (and still have occasionally) involves going out to eat with friends. I would freak out if one male friend preferred a salad to French fries with his burger and constantly worried I’d be seen as “fry girl”—you know, the stereotypical fat girl munching on fries to no avail.

At one point, I only ate half of a cheeseburger I was so scared I looked bad. Now, I realize how incredibly ridiculous I was and I now know one cupcake here and there won’t hurt. Sometimes, you just have to give in to your cravings.

Then one night, I did it. I couldn’t believe I worked up the nerve to walk downstairs. My old building had a gym in the basement and I don’t know what possessed me to go downstairs but I did. I sat on the exercise bike and made it all of 20 minutes before stopping. I cranked up my iPod and tried my darnedest not to let even one thought about the other people in the gym get to me.

As much as I wasn’t sure if I wanted to continue, I knew I had to do it. Pretty soon, I was not only walking on the treadmill but navigating the elliptical and Stairmaster too. I moved apartments the following winter and I soon became a regular at my new building’s downstairs fitness center.

My lunches I packed for work got lighter and I became a fan of things I never in my wildest dreams thought I’d be eating—Greek yogurt, fresh fruit, granola. The crazy thing is, I found that I actually liked those foods. You also won’t believe it but it’s not that hard to not want to go back to greasy foods like pizza (although I definitely splurge a lot of weekends).

The first spring I was at my new building, I began jogging outside. My friends were shocked that I was exerting myself while on display to the thousands of people on my busy street.

You know what’s the crazy part? How all the women’s magazines I’m obsessed with, all the trainers and athletes, they’re all actually right about something—jogging is a huge stress reliever for me. The most I’ve ever jogged at once is about four miles but the decisions I’ve made, anger I’ve lessened and happiness I’ve achieved while pounding the pavement is countless.

I’ve always been a big lover of holidays and celebrations so naturally I had mini-celebrations with myself during all my weight loss milestones. When I lost 50 lbs, I celebrated with a slice of Cheesecake Factory cheesecake. When my size hit the teens, it was a shopping spree at the nearby Gap.

But story didn’t end here either.

Crunch Gym opened up a franchise near my apartment and I became intrigued and instantly had to join.

There was this one class, “The Athlete’s Workout,” that I took one evening. It was a warm and humid day outside and the instructor chose to take the class outdoors. My instinct told me to run far away from the situation but I told myself no.

An hour later, I’d run suicides, did Army crawls and did enough lunges that my legs felt like Jello. With dirt on my cheeks and my messy ponytail becoming undone, I practically skipped the three blocks home.

I remember wishing my grade school and high school teachers could see me now. Decades ago, I was the kid who walked the mile run, or continually moved to the back of the kickball line so I didn’t have to take a turn. Occasionally, I’d hide behind the church convent to avoid running.

Just over 10 years later, I’ve gained back some of the weight I’ve lost. I’m still proud to say I’m 60 pounds lighter than I was in high school. As a freelance writer and piano teacher to 22 kids and two adults and caring for a very needy English bulldog, life is busier than it was when I was working at a newspaper. I still try to get to my apartment’s gym three or four days per week and we have a gorgeous trail right near our apartment that I love to walk and jog on in the spring and summer.

My food choices have their good and bad days, but I know that it’s important that I am healthy. I know my “numbers” as the doctors say, and while I’ll always have to be careful, I know that I am doing okay. I’ll never be a size 2. Honestly, at 5’11” that wouldn’t look all that natural anyway!

My relationship with my weight will always be a struggle. I still think about most food that goes into my mouth and weigh myself often, if only to keep myself in line. It’s absolutely pivotal to remember that I am still the same person inside as I always was, no matter what the scale says. I’m still obsessed with chick lit novels and romantic comedies. I love entertaining friends at my apartment and hosting parties that revolve around the holidays.

I’ve finally realized what’s five or 10 lbs. gained or lost here and there? As long as I am healthy and happy that’s all that matters. Writing about my weight loss so personally for the first time has definitely opened up my eyes to what I’ve accomplished and the fact that I should be excited about what I’ve done. If anything I’ve become so much more active than I was at 16 and 17, even 21. Why hide something that I should be proud of, right? Oh and those gold lamé pants? I can fit my whole self in one pant leg now.

Interested in reading more about self love? Check out this piece from 2016 on how you can achieve self love faster than you think. If you want to join us in more positive and affirming wellness information, join LOVE TV!