Oral Sex Road Test: Does Pineapple Juice Make You Taste Better In Bed?

Here’s a sexy taste test that leave you and your partner feeling ecstasy! 

Pineapple juice? Celery? One couple takes the ultimate taste test in the bedroom.

I love my boyfriend. And I love giving him blow jobs. What I do not love is the taste of spunk. No matter whose semen it is, it tastes like a cross between sour juice, bitters, mold, and a dirty sock. Even Bobby Flay couldn’t make this milky concoction taste good. I’ve hypothesized women who say it tastes good are either a) lying or b) have tastebuds damaged by years of smoking. But I don’t smoke … and like Abe Lincoln, I cannot tell a lie. I love a nice pearl necklace, but the taste of semen makes me gag.

Maybe it’s nature’s way of saying put that sperm in your vagina, but I couldn’t care less. I am dedicated to being a good girlfriend. I wanted to enjoy his man chowder. I wanted to relish it with the same fervor I do a bowl of Ben and Jerry’s Heath Bar Crunch. Intrepid scientist that I am, I wanted to know how to make it taste better.

I had often heard that different food and drink could improve or worsen the taste of semen but the scientific research on it is almost nonexistent. Shrouded in mystery and hearsay many of the methods have few tales of firsthand accounts. So with my boyfriend’s very enthusiastic approval we decided to give it a whirl in a four-part experiment that included  pineapple juice, celery, meat (to see if it makes it taste worse and therefore should be avoided) and Masque Flavor Strips, which claim to mask the taste of semen.

To be fair (and in the interest of improving people’s lives everywhere) we decided I should partake in the experiment as well. Although my boyfriend, (we’ll call him M), thinks I taste and smell like daisies and peaches, he’s experienced many a lady who was a little funky below the belt (he chalked it up to bad hygiene). He was skeptical that changing my diet would make any difference given that vaginal lubrication isn’t exactly liquid. But in altering my diet we were hoping to at least find out.

Men and women of the world, you’re welcome.

1. Pineapple Juice
Since what seems like the invention of the juicer, the wonders of pineapple juice have been lauded for their semen-sweetening abilities. And after my first sip I can see why; it’s like drinking a glass of sugar water. So sweet is the bright yellow-orange juice I feel like I might instantly go into diabetic shock. And I’m not even diabetic. M, for his part isn’t as grossed out at first, but after three days emphatically tells me he can’t possibly drink another glass of pineapple juice without hurling.

We had our first tasting while on a southwest road trip. It was a warm summer day, the scenery was beautiful, and I felt inspired to make the drive a little more exciting. So while M was driving, I unzipped his pants and went to work. Maybe it was the wind blowing in our hair or the bubbling sounds of the river next to us, but M came faster than he ever had. Swishing him around my mouth, I realized it actually did taste significantly sweeter. Not coconut crème brûlée sweet, but sweet enough to neutralize any harsh flavors. Gone was the bitter, sour, taste and its place was a neutral lightly sugary taste that was much more palatable than the original. To M’s delight, I let out an enthusiastic “mmmmm!” I was surprised and excited; maybe I could start to swallow without gagging!

When we finally got to our destination, M quickly threw me on my back and went to work downstairs. Fortunately for me he had nothing to report. I still tasted and smelled exactly the same. Given how foul pineapple juice is, the last thing I needed was for him to get addicted to my pineapple-infused method regions.
Girl With Pineapple Cocktail

2. Celery
After doing some research, I begin to suspect M has tricked me. Celery is known more for increasing liquid volume not changing flavor. Perhaps he’s just looking forward to giving me a larger pearl necklace? According to connoisseur of all things sex-related, Motley Crüe drummer Tommy Lee in his book Tommyland asked porn star Peter North how he “sandblasts every single girl in his scenes with a gallon of man juice.” To which North told him to eat a bunch of celery the day before.

When I confront him, M insists he was not trying to fool me and that he really heard celery makes semen taste good. So we proceed as planned. Perhaps the celery would even produce the elusive female jizz. In case you’re wondering, a bunch of celery is a lot. At 6’3, M can eat all day long and had no problem incorporating the celery into his diet (though by day three even he’s sick of it). At 5’1, I have the metabolism and appetite of a small bird. Eating that much celery causes me to eliminate things I actually enjoy eating. For example, instead of my normal scrambled eggs for breakfast I am now eating celery with peanut butter. Snack time, I skip mixed nuts for celery with ranch.

Three days later, stuffed to the gills with celery, we take turns going down on each other while watching a basketball game on my sofa. I brace myself waiting for a geyser of semen to shoot out at me. Instead all I got was the normal load. I suppose if I had been trying to get pregnant I’d be disappointed, but seeing as I wasn’t I was thrilled to not have to swallow any extra. Flavorwise, the semen sample was better tasting than normal (as in not bitter or salty) but not as good as the sweeter pineapple-infused version.

As for me, M, (as he predicted), couldn’t tell the difference even after a good 20 minutes of oral.

Is Your Man Giving Oral Sex His Best?

This writer has an interesting take on oral sex! 

I once dated a guy who refused to go down on me. “I just don’t like the way it tastes,” was his excuse. As if his dick tasted like an ice cream cone. I joke about it now, but at the time I didn’t find it very funny. My boyfriend’s aversion to oral sex made me newly insecure about that part of my body, and the few times I did convince him to go down on me, I was too in my own head to enjoy it, constantly worrying that he was grossed out or just doing it out of obligation. Friends I confided in at the time suggested I stop giving him blow jobs, to give him a taste of his own medicine. But since I enjoy giving pleasure, no BJs felt like double the punishment.

I realize that I’m being, shall we say, candid. But I find that it’s next to impossible to talk about sex without getting specific. And how else does one get what one wants out of sex than by talking about it? So I’ll go first: I don’t understand why so many men act like, by giving head, they’re doing you a favor. I half expect them to say “You’re welcome” afterward. I recently met a guy who, while flirting with me at a party, said, “Just so you know, I’m the kind of guy who cares about making a girl cum.” He then stared at me in anticipation, as if waiting for me to faint, or for celebratory balloons to fall from the ceiling. Not to mention that when you meet the rare guy who’s up for going down, he’s often remarkably bad at it. All that spitting and sucking and vagina slapping: What is going on there? To my knowledge, I don’t have an abnormally sensitive vagina, but if someone slaps it, or slurps at it like it’s a trough, any subsequent screaming will be out of pain, not pleasure. Oral sex isn’t rocket science, so why, if you’re a straight girl, is head so often either terrible or nonexistent?

It’s now widely discussed that, due to a lack of sex ed in school, young people are learning about sex from porn. Heterosexual porn scenes usually go something like this: Girl gets naked; girl shows off her body for a while; girl gives guy a blow job; girl and guy have intercourse; the end. Rarely in this scenario does the guy reciprocate oral sex. Well, porn imitates life imitates porn, as they say. Which means that, often, real-life sex doesn’t include head for the woman, either. Of course, there are exceptions. Some guys are very generous and adept in the oral department, and some porn does emphasize pleasure for the woman. But the fact is, almost all mainstream porn is made by men, for men, and it shows—the aim of the scenes is always to get the man off. As a result, in the real world, many girls and guys think that the aim of sex is to get the man off. And honestly, many of my hook-ups with men have felt driven by that singular goal. As someone who also sleeps with women, I feel I have a good counterpoint. My female partners have been unanimously more giving and considerate, and certainly more likely to give me head.

Cindy Gallop, the woman behind Make Love Not Porn, says she’s “pro-porn, pro-sex, and pro knowing the difference.” I completely agree with her. Don’t get me wrong: I love porn and watch it often—probably too often—but I also know that it’s artificial entertainment. Porn is great for many things, but learning how to genuinely please a woman is not one of them.

Top 5 Tips for Giving A Great BJ

Everyone has special skills, things we take considerable pride in doing exceptionally well.  Maybe you make the perfect margarita, or can parallel park perfectly on the first try every time.  Not me, those particular examples are personal weaknesses of mine.  I used to add too much tequila, and scrape my hubcaps against the curb nine times out of ten.  I’ve gotten better though, by taking the advice of friends who excel at these things, and practicing until I achieve a functioning level of confidence and comfort with both tasks.  I’m proud of my progress, and so appreciative of the help given to me along the way, that I figured it’s time to pay it forward by sharing a little of my own knowledge.  My area of expertise?  Oral sex.  Fellatio, to be specific.  If head quality was currency, I would be rich as hell, the Steve Jobs of blowjobs.  I really suck (much to the delight of my partners), and I want you to, too.  But from the feedback I’ve gotten, it seems as though a lot of you are shy and scared of doing it wrong, or badly.  So here’s a few basic tips I’ve compiled to help you swallow your hangups and go down like a champ.

1. Don’t Worry, Be Happy

First and foremost, understand that unless you bite (without it being specifically requested), you’re doing fine.  Push aside any nervous or self-conscious worries.  Now, I don’t personally know most of your partners, but I absolutely guarantee that if they were given the option of getting a imperfect blowjob or getting no blowjob at all, the choice made will always be to get some sort of blowjob, and really, any sort of blowjob.  You don’t need pro tactics to rock this party, because the mere act of placing your mouth on your partner’s genitals is, by nature, loving and incredibly intimate.  Head is a hug that you give with your mouth.  We all know the difference in getting sincerely embraced by someone who loves us, and the ol’ forced grab-squeeze-release of someone who’d rather not be bothered.  Try to focus on the pleasure you’re giving, not whatever hangups might be lurking (however, if your partner’s hygiene is the hangup, perhaps suggest a little bit of bathtime-for-two fun).  If the act itself turns you so far off that the affection motivating it isn’t conveyed, it won’t be fun for anyone involved.

Sexy woman with young lover closeup indoor portrait desire


2. Eye Contact

The right amount is essential.  A few short glances is hot, but an extended, unblinking gaze is creepy (sex is not a staring contest, unless that’s a specific fetish you’re exploring).  The right kind is also important.  This is the only time in my entire life that I will ever endorse the wisdom of Tyra Banks when I tell you to SMIZE.  Smile with your eyes as you look up.  Make eye contact, smile with your mouth (as best you can with something in it, doesn’t have to be your big birthday party/just got a raise at work/spiteful selfie smile), then get back to the task at hand.  By doing this, you’re sending a sweet message of “Hey Captain, I’m handling things below deck, so take a load off, stand on the bow and just enjoy the view!”.

Oral Foreplay — What’s Sexy and What’s Not

If you’ve ever given or received oral sex, then you already know that doing it for the first time comes with more than a few surprises.

When I think about the first time I had oral sex, I remember it being as disappointing and awkward as it was hilarious — and I don’t think my story is a unique one. The truth is, there’s just a lot of things no one tells you about oral sex. If you’ve ever given or received oral sex, then you already know that doing it for the first time comes with more than a few surprises. Some of these surprises are pleasant ones; others, not so much. Regardless, there’s just a lot of things about it that you can only learn from experience.

Though I think I’m pretty skilled at the act of giving head now, and I genuinely enjoy doing it, it’s only because I’ve had plenty of practice. Whether you love it or hate it, though, I think we can all agree there’s a lot of things no one tells you about oral sex. Lots of sex education passes right over it. Romance novels would have us believe that receiving oral sex results in multiple orgasms, typically within five minutes. The majority of heterosexual porn makes giving head to men look straight up painful and degrading. None of these depictions are accurate (and also, no one bothers to tell you that giving head for very long at all will make your jaw sore AF the next day).

So if you’ve never had oral sex and you want to know what to expect, or you’re an oral sexpert who wants to remember what it was like when you started out, then read on. Here’s 13 things no one tells you about oral sex.

You’re Probably Going To Suck At Oral In The Beginning

Yes, the pun was intended in the headline. Hey, you could be the one person in history who’s a champ at oral sex from their very first time. Realistically, though, you’re probably not going to have any idea about what you’re doing in the beginning, even if you’ve studied a lot. And that’s OK. Oral sex isn’t as easy as it looks. Whether you’re giving oral to a man or a woman, your mouth, throat, and jaw are doing all sorts of things that they’ve never done before. So don’t be upset if you’re not a head-giving rock star when you’re just starting out.

2. Giving Oral Can Be Super Fun

Maybe someone told you this prior to your first experience with oral, but no one told me — and I wish they would have. Although I’ve never had oral sex with a woman, I can tell you from experience that giving oral sex to my male partners has generally been super fun, and I never expected that.

Before I ever had oral sex with a man, I viewed it as something women endure during heterosexual sex out of the kindness of their hearts — it’s what people and popular culture told me. In actuality, unless my sexual partner gets too aggressive during the act, giving head can be a very serious turn on. I love making my partners feel good, and the feeling of being in charge for a little bit.

What Sexual Inheritance Did We Receive from Victorians, Romans and the Renaissance

What would you like to receive as a intimate inheritance?

Some things never change but sex isn’t one of them. Marcus Field looks back on some surprising episodes in the centuries-long evolution of Western sexual attitudes, from the ancient Greeks to the present day

Let’s start with the Greeks

Aphrodisiac, eroticism, homosexuality, narcissism, nymphomania, pederasty all these terms are derived from the language of ancient Greece which tells you something about its society. The myths of Homer and Plutarch told stories such as that of Aphrodite, goddess of sexual intercourse, who emerged from the foaming semen of her father’s castrated testicles. Then there were the mortal heroes such as Hercules, who it is said ravished 50 virgins in a single night, but who also had an affair with his nephew Iolaus and fell in love with “sweet Hylas, he of the curling locks”.

From the early 6th century to the early 4th century, the culture of pederasty flourished in Athens, with adult men taking adolescent boys to serve as their lovers (although how much physical sex actually happened is a matter of some debate). Women in ancient Greece were generally the property of men and rarely enjoyed the exalted status of the young homosexual partner. But we know that there was a strong culture of female prostitution, with the most successful courtesans often wielding power and wealth and with brothels paying a state tax on their profits. Neglected wives found ways to satisfy their desires. Lesbians (called tribades) certainly existed, and the culture is associated most particularly with the island of Lesbos “where burning Sappho loved and sung”. There are also plenty of literary references to the use of dildos, which in ancient Greece were made of padded leather and anointed with olive oil before use.

And then along came the Romans…

In Rome, as elsewhere in the ancient world, wives and children belonged to the man of the family. A woman caught in the act of adultery could be killed by her husband on the spot, while a wife who drank more than a moderate amount of wine gave grounds for divorce. Despite this, the orgiastic culture of legend certainly existed during the Bacchanalian festivals, when all restraint was abandoned. Such was the hedonism and lawlessness of these rites, with rampant couplings of both heterosexual and homosexual nature, that public worship of Bacchus was finally outlawed in 186 BCE. Prostitution was widespread and legal, and the Greek tradition of pederasty was significant enough to cause concern when the Roman birth rate dropped. Much attention was given to the development of contraception.

Pliny recommended “mouse dung applied in the form of a liniment” or pigeon droppings mixed with oil and wine. Much more successful was the method devised by the gynaecologist Soranus of Ephesus who suggested a wool plug for the uterus impregnated with gummy substances. However, it is more likely that outbreaks of plague and disease led to the catastrophic fall in the population of the Roman empire than the success of primitive contraception.