Everyone has special skills, things we take considerable pride in doing exceptionally well. Maybe you make the perfect margarita, or can parallel park perfectly on the first try every time. Not me, those particular examples are personal weaknesses of mine. I used to add too much tequila, and scrape my hubcaps against the curb nine times out of ten. I’ve gotten better though, by taking the advice of friends who excel at these things, and practicing until I achieve a functioning level of confidence and comfort with both tasks. I’m proud of my progress, and so appreciative of the help given to me along the way, that I figured it’s time to pay it forward by sharing a little of my own knowledge. My area of expertise? Oral sex. Fellatio, to be specific. If head quality was currency, I would be rich as hell, the Steve Jobs of blowjobs. I really suck (much to the delight of my partners), and I want you to, too. But from the feedback I’ve gotten, it seems as though a lot of you are shy and scared of doing it wrong, or badly. So here’s a few basic tips I’ve compiled to help you swallow your hangups and go down like a champ.
1. Don’t Worry, Be Happy
First and foremost, understand that unless you bite (without it being specifically requested), you’re doing fine. Push aside any nervous or self-conscious worries. Now, I don’t personally know most of your partners, but I absolutely guarantee that if they were given the option of getting a imperfect blowjob or getting no blowjob at all, the choice made will always be to get some sort of blowjob, and really, any sort of blowjob. You don’t need pro tactics to rock this party, because the mere act of placing your mouth on your partner’s genitals is, by nature, loving and incredibly intimate. Head is a hug that you give with your mouth. We all know the difference in getting sincerely embraced by someone who loves us, and the ol’ forced grab-squeeze-release of someone who’d rather not be bothered. Try to focus on the pleasure you’re giving, not whatever hangups might be lurking (however, if your partner’s hygiene is the hangup, perhaps suggest a little bit of bathtime-for-two fun). If the act itself turns you so far off that the affection motivating it isn’t conveyed, it won’t be fun for anyone involved.
2. Eye Contact
The right amount is essential. A few short glances is hot, but an extended, unblinking gaze is creepy (sex is not a staring contest, unless that’s a specific fetish you’re exploring). The right kind is also important. This is the only time in my entire life that I will ever endorse the wisdom of Tyra Banks when I tell you to SMIZE. Smile with your eyes as you look up. Make eye contact, smile with your mouth (as best you can with something in it, doesn’t have to be your big birthday party/just got a raise at work/spiteful selfie smile), then get back to the task at hand. By doing this, you’re sending a sweet message of “Hey Captain, I’m handling things below deck, so take a load off, stand on the bow and just enjoy the view!”.