Love Yourself Into Feeling Good in Your Skin

Self-judgment is one of the least effective tools we have for changing our bodies (or our lives) and yet it is often the first place our minds go when we realize our current situation is not quite how we’d like it to be.

We start blaming ourselves. The endless list of all the things we think we’ve done wrong starts to run like a ticker tape in our heads. “If only I wasn’t so lazy,” or “if I hadn’t indulged in that birthday cake or drank so much with friends the other night,” or “if I’d just work out more I would be better/thinner/sexier/have more dates.” We let the critical voice run amok, guilting and criticizing us left and right for how clearly we’ve screwed up for not keeping ourselves and our bodies in check.

Oddly enough, we try to use guilt and criticism as a way to motivate ourselves into different behavior, a different body or different habits; only to find a short time later that shame-based motivation has worn out and we are back on the same roller coaster of judgment/guilt/blame. Ever wonder why 98 percent of diets fail? It’s because you can’t change something from a place of not liking it to begin with. Beating yourself up never changes anything in the long run.

In a culture overrun with messages of how to diet, lose weight or change your body from a place of restriction, deprivation and the belief that “something’s wrong with me,” how do you do it differently? How can you begin to love something you’ve been taught to judge your entire life?

Take it on faith if you have to, but you can love yourself into a fitter body or a smaller number on the scale. You can love yourself into feeling good in your skin. Or you can love yourself just as you are and through that love realize that nothing really has to change.

Whatever you want, it begins with accepting yourself as you are now.

Acceptance is about having choice; when we don’t accept something, we don’t have choices, we only have opposition. But when we accept whatever is before us, then the we are fighting against anything and the options are wide open.

Love and acceptance are the only things that ever truly move, inspire or change people in the long run.

Even when most of our cultural messages are full of criticism and ways we should be embarassed of our body, you can take it upon yourself to stop the judgment and begin to use love and acceptance as the primary motivations with your body and life.

Here are five beginning steps you can take to change the conversation from one of judgment to one of love and acceptance.

1. Start by accepting yourself as you are now. All of you — your food choices, your habits, your physical body, your exercise routine, your mindset. This can be challenging when all you hear is the ticker tape of what you’ve done wrong or should be doing different. Accept your current situation. Accept that you made choices in the past that no longer serve you. Remember that everything is always changeable and acceptance is the first step to real choice about who you want to be. Anything else is just reactionary.

2. Take an inventory of where you are and what you’ve got right now.
– Do you exercise regularly?
– Do you drink enough water, spend time in nature, have screen free time as part of everyday?
– Do you listen to your body and make choices based on what will nourish it?
– Do you eat food that brings you pleasure and nourishes you?
– Do you do things to honor and nurture all of you, mind body and spirit?

Remember: This inventory isn’t about judgment, it’s simply taking stock of where you are at. Imagine if a store owner judged themselves and their sales the entire time they took inventory of their store. The point of an inventory is to take stock of what you have to work with. This isn’t a place for judgment or self-criticism, so don’t do it to yourself!

3. Write a desire list.
Desire is difficult to feel good about when we keep beating ourselves up and thinking less of ourselves. But getting into a feeling state where you are excited, hopeful and dreaming (i.e desiring) is the best state from which inspired change happens. A few questions you could use to get started:

– How do you want your body to be?
– How do you want to take care of it?
– WHO do you want to show up as in the world?

Desires are our hopes and dreams for ourselves. No judgment or editing here. Whatever lives in your heart, write it down. No one else has to see it, this is just between you and the divine voices that listen to our dreams and desires.

Be specific. The more specific you are, the easier it will be in receiving that desire.

4. Give thanks.
Before we can receive more of what we want, we have to digest what we already have. The best tool for digestion is gratitude. Include the simple to the extravagant. “I am grateful for the cool weather and changing leaves” and “I am grateful for the strength in my body and how much it allows me to accomplish everyday.” Do at least 10 gratitudes, daily is best. It’s amazing how it resets and focuses each day.

5. Remember that change takes time. Be patient. Be kind. Talk to yourself the way you would someone you love. Anytime you hear the judgment and critical voice creep in ask “what would I say to my friend if they were feeling this way?” And then say that to yourself.

This list of five steps may seem completely unrelated to what you’ve been told about weight loss or changing your body. This is merely a starting place, no list is ever going to hold all the answers for lasting change, that comes from within.

So go easy on yourself. If the judgment and criticism haven’t brought you want you want, why not try something new?

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

‘The Knot Dream Wedding’ Winner’s First Love Lesson? Love Yourself.

Do you believe true love exist? I do.

I’m Sierra. My husband Andre and I were the first couple to win “The Knot Dream Wedding.”

Follow me as I share how I attracted true love into my life. In my new “True Love Lessons” video series, I’ll share tips and stories that help open your heart to all love’s possibilities.

Lesson No. 1: Love Yourself!

This is probably the most important “Love Lesson” of them all because if we don’t love ourselves how can we love anyone else?

Loving yourself is an ongoing lifelong lesson that requires continued work. There are levels and layers to self love. Recognizing my value was one of the layers in my own self love journey.

As I continue to work on this lesson, I’ve discovered that accepting myself and forgiving myself are other layers, too.

There are many layers to this ever evolving lesson but it’s never too late to start finding out ways in which to show yourself love. It may come in the form of a spiritual practice, healthy eating, exercising, or even something as simple as hugging yourself everyday and saying, “I love you [your name here].”

Like I mentioned earlier, this is a lifelong lesson but one that holds the key to the door of infinite love!

Stay tuned for more “True Love Lessons” with me, Sierra, from “The Knot Dream Wedding.”

We’re going to share lots of love stories.

But in the meantime, read up on some strategies to love yourself through journaling or this emotional piece on how to stop “shrinking” yourself in a relationship.

7 Love Lessons I Learned from the Amazon Show “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel”

Did you fall in love with the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel too? I sure did.

After Mad Men ended, it seemed like we were left with a void of really good 1950s and ‘60s period shows.

Personally, I love the era and was excited to see The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, a show on Amazon that fit the bill. It premiered around the holidays and I never followed up with watching it. However, once it won a couple Golden Globes earlier this year, I was intrigued.

Here are seven love lessons I learned from the show. *Warning* Spoilers ahead.

1. Love yourself first.

Miriam “Midge” Maisel was a typical 1950s housewife, mid-20s, two children and a husband. She’s highly educated (Bryn Mawr) and was raised Jewish in the Upper West Side in New York City.

On the surface, her life seemed perfect. However, what struck a chord with me the most was how Midge couldn’t even get a good night’s sleep. She literally had to wait until her husband Joel fell asleep to creep into the bathroom and remove her makeup.

She then had to make sure she woke up before him to put the entire “face” back on before he woke up. It made me realize how important it is to love yourself first, that your significant other needs to see you, no makeup, bedhead and all. That is what true love is.

2. Love your career, even if it scares you.

Night after night of watching her husband bomb in stand-up comedy at a local café, Midge supported her significant other by bringing beef brisket to get him on stage at an earlier time.

She was meticulous about taking notes on Joel’s routine and it’s clear how much she enjoyed comedy. It wasn’t until he left her that she drunkenly headed to the same café and absolutely killed it in her own improv stand-up act.

Throughout the series, viewers see her fears combined with her “You know what, I actually don’t give a damn” attitude that made her rise to the top.

I personally chose freelance writing and teaching piano as a career path and it is scary. he money’s not the best and neither are the hours. That being said, it is a career I truly adore. I can’t imagine doing anything else now.

3. Love your co-workers.

When I worked full-time at a newspaper, I was overly cautious about my co-workers, particularly females—not Midge Maisel though.

When she gets a job at a department store makeup counter post-separation from her husband, she found a group of true female friends who support each other every step of the way. I learned that loving your co-workers is a great way to form a certain camaraderie. Support is so important, especially in this day and age.

Marvelous Mrs. Maisel

4. Love life.

Midge didn’t take life too seriously, and that’s what made her so likeable. No matter what life brings your way, it’s important to remember to laugh at it sometimes.

Midge ended up breaking up with her partner, moved in with her parents and figured out life on her own for the first time at 26. I’ve always imagined I love life, but after watching Mrs. Maisel it is just reiterated it even more now. Loving life is so important. After all, we only get one chance.

5. Love your parents, they only want what’s best for you.

If you think your parents are meddling, just wait until you watch Midge’s. As much as I began to remember the times growing up where my own parents seemed to be prying, I also recalled how much they love me. They sacrificed so much for my four siblings and me and I know, just like Rose and Abe, Midge’s mother and father, they only want what’s best for me.

6. Love your heritage.

Midge was raised Jewish and while she often used her background as fodder for her comedy routine, she loved the heritage that made her who she was. It took until the very end of the season for her to finally use her real name, a decision she struggled with until the very end.

I learned that no matter what others say about the way I was raised, or my Catholic background, you name it, it is important to love your background. Also, as crazy as my last name is, I embrace it because it makes me unique and reminds me of my Ukrainian roots.

7. Love your city.

Midge just adored New York City, her hometown. The show did a wonderful job showing the city circa the late ‘50s.

I live in Washington, D.C. and sometimes I forget to take advantage of the gorgeous city I reside in. I realize now how much I need to be more like Midge and truly love my city. It’s important to get out and enjoy your local bars and restaurants and community events.

Often, I feel like life in my city sometimes passes me by when the weekend comes along, as I’m often too tired or lazy to get up and do something.

Amazon’s new show about a 1950s housewife has a lot of love lessons.

The winter can be a great time for binge watching a new show. The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel is a wonderful new addition to Amazon’s show list. Not only is it entertaining, the show has a lot of lessons on love and life.

Interested in reading about a real-life standup comedian and her take on television? Check out this piece.

I Stopped Changing Myself For Men And Here’s How You Can Do The Same

You are enough without changing yourself or who you are for anyone.

I’ve always been the girl who needs to be liked and accepted, not just by men, but by everyone. I know it’s not possible but I still try because being accepted by other people feels good. It makes us feel good even when we don’t feel good about ourselves or like ourselves, which was what I used to obsess over.

I was always so focused on if other people, especially men, liked me. Instead of putting effort into myself and making sure I liked who I was I became so focused on if other people liked me.

I dated a guy who I’m not sure I even liked because I never evaluated him. It might sound ridiculous, but I was so focused on if he liked me that I forgot to question if I even liked him. For months, I’d scratch my head and wonder if I was good enough for him, if I’d be able to make him really mine, if I could get him to stick around for longer than a few months. I tried to be who I thought he would like instead of just being myself.

I knew it was time to change my mindset when I realized that I was compromising my own happiness and self to try to be what someone else wanted, or at least what I thought someone wanted.

Something that really stuck that helped me adjust my mindset is a conversation I had with my life coach. She asked me if I changed who I was on first dates, if I acted different, less like myself, and I said yes, to a certain extent. I told her I am usually nervous, a little more quiet, a little more reserved. She followed that up with a very insightful comment: “you don’t act different around your friends when you hang out with them, right? You just know they like you so you can be yourself. That’s how you have to go into dating.”

She’s right – that’s why I pay her to give me advice. I realized I had to start going into dating with the mindset that they’re going to like me and if they don’t then it doesn’t matter. At least if I’m going into dates as myself and not pretending to be someone I’m not they’ll get to know the real me. Some people might not like it but some will love it, either way I am who I am and I’ve learned to love myself just for that.

Knowing who you are is half the battle in loving yourself and knowing you deserve love.

I always used to try to mold myself into a cookie cutter shape of what someone else likes or wants. The truth is I’m not everyone’s cup of tea and that’s fine. Some people hate tea, some people prefer coffee, some people prefer neither and that is what makes us all unique. That is why there are so many different types of people.

You don’t have to like everyone and everyone doesn’t have to like you! I finally decided it’s time to stop forming to please other people and just be myself.

I decided it no longer matters if he isn’t interested in me because there will always be someone else who is. I learned it’s better to not force relationships or conversations that aren’t happening. Those kinds of interactions will never leave you satisfied, because they’re not honest.

It’s not worth trying to fit into someone else’s story. It’s time to write your own! The right person will accept you for who you are, not who you try to be.

young attractive couple

Being yourself is one of the most liberating experiences you can have.

Once I stopped changing myself to please others that aren’t interested, it made a world of difference. I gave myself permission to be who I am without reservation and that is a freeing feeling. It’s allowed me to meet someone for a drink and not go in with any expectations.

I can be more open and I can look in the mirror and accept that I am enough just the way I am whether someone else thinks so or not.

Allowing yourself the freedom to just accept where you are in your life, without hoping that every person you come across is going to want you is an invigorating feeling.

It’s important to realize, at the end of the day, you have to be enough for yourself. You’re worth being loved, especially by yourself.

Allow yourself to express yourself the way you want. Stand up for what you care about. Wear as much or as little makeup as you want. Don’t change yourself for anyone, instead be proud of who you are!

Ever since I started being completely myself I’ve found a new sense of freedom I didn’t realize was possible. I started going out with more guys from dating apps because I didn’t have that fear holding me back that they wouldn’t like me. I also didn’t feel that pressure I used to put on myself of being skinny or pretty enough for them. I am who I am and they either like me or not. But that’s still not as important as if I like them or not.

Putting yourself and your comfort first in these situations isn’t selfish, it’s necessary. Absolutely necessary.

Just last weekend it gave me the confidence to go up to a man in a bar (something I never do). I didn’t worry about what he would say or if he would be interested or not, I just went up to him and started talking. (I was also wearing the ugliest handmade Christmas sweater the world has ever seen.) The best part about it? He loved that I was confident to walk up and talk to him in that ugly sweater. He liked it so much he asked me on a date and it was great!

The right person will like you and love you for your unique characteristics, how you look, what you say and everything in between. If he doesn’t completely accept you then he’s not the one, but know there is someone out there who will. The right person will love you for who you are, not who you try to be.

For more ways to please women, check out Why I Am Loving The First Date.

True Love Lessons with Sierra: Self-Worth


self worth

This lesson keeps popping up for me and those around me, so let’s jump in!

What does it mean to have self-worth?

I believe it means discovering AND believing in your deep inherent value, which in turn, gives you a standard of how you deserve to be treated.

Know that you, just as you are, are a rare and precious jewel with unlimited love to give.

Recognizing that is what polishes your inner jewel making you sparkle from the inside out!

Self-worth is interconnected with self-confidence and self-respect.

These 3 powerhouse energies COMBINED are certain to help you attract an excellent match!

Tune in next time for more True Love Lessons & Confessions with Sierra.

Learning Self-Love During Swimsuit Season

I’ve always been a bigger person and being in a bathing suit has often made me self conscious.

Ever since I was little, I’ve always been bigger than my peers. Now that I’m in my 30s, it’s something I’ve gotten used to over time and have fully embraced now that the body positive movement is so prevalent.

My journey toward self-love in a bathing suit was a long, but ultimately fulfilling one.

11 in my Leopard Plus Print

Growing up, boutiques like Charlotte Russe and Wet Seal were out of the question. In middle school I was well off the charts for both height and weight, which ultimately gave my mom the only choice but to try taking me to Macy’s. Back then, the only plus-size options were in the women’s department. The options were slim. I remember standing in a dressing room at about 11 years old, trying on a leopard print tank suit. I noticed the label on the suit said it had a “bust minimizer.” I was 11 and barely had a bust, why did I need a bust minimizer? It was frustrating and made me sad. You know that scene from This is Us where Kate wore a t-shirt at the pool around the same age? It definitely made me emotional because I identified with it so much.

My mom later ended up cutting out the minimizer so I could feel like the small hills I did have for breasts meant something. At 11, that meant a lot to me. I still remember feeling like I didn’t love my bathing suit. Compared to my peers, I was in a leopard-print suit while they donned bright colors and Lisa Frank bikinis. Since I didn’t love my suit, my confidence was definitely not the best.

Happy Young Plus Size Woman In Bikini On Sea

Sweet 16, Self Conscious Pool Party

Despite not being comfortable in a bathing suit, I still chose to have my 16th birthday party as a pool party. My parents had built a backyard pool four years prior, and I longed to have a Sweet 16 just like I saw in the movies. I convinced them to hire a DJ and let me invite 30 friends. N’SYNC, Britney, Christina and the Backstreet Boys blared from speakers on our patio and the pool was hopping. I wanted to wear a chic blue halter-style tankini and felt just the teensiest bit confident in it.

Once my friends came and cover-ups started coming off I was immediately self-conscious. The truth is, we were all different body shapes and types but to my 16-year-old self, I was the nearly six-foot-tall, 280 lb. giant.

During the party, we played Truth or Dare and Seven Minutes in Heaven (okay more like three) in this gigantic inflatable rocket float that you could climb inside. My friends tried to no avail to get my crush to go into the rocket with me but he refused. I wanted desperately to have my first kiss and wondered if maybe I’d have to continue waiting impatiently. There was just something so special about getting my first kiss on my 16th birthday though.

After cake and ice cream (where most of my photos have me crossing my arms over my stomach), a male friend of mine at the party approached me and said he’d heard I didn’t get my first kiss. He asked to give it to me instead. I briefly considered saying no, as it wasn’t someone I was romantically attracted to, but I let my teenage hormones take the lead. I said yes and that kiss, that pizza and Surge soda tasting kiss, helped me become slightly less self conscious about my body.

Body Positive Now

It’s been 22 summers since that day I spent in a dressing room with my leopard print tank suit. I bought my first bikini a couple years ago from Forever 21’s plus-size department. I was so scared to wear it to my apartment complex’s pool. The thin stripe of my stomach that hadn’t seen the light of day for decades made me so nervous. I realized though that what was important was that the two piece suit made me happy. For once, I actually felt confident in a bathing suit.

In recent years, the body positive movement has taken off. I admire women like Hunter McGrady and Tess Holliday and have personally had the opportunity to interview Chrissy Metz and speak with Ashley Graham at a party. I even nerded out and asked her for a picture that day—see below.

I am so grateful I can sign onto social media and see girls who look like me celebrated. Even more importantly, I am glad middle and high school girls have access to much better fashion than I did and gorgeous, smart, talented and kind women like these ladies to look up to. I’ve learned that everybody and every body deserves to be in a swimsuit.

Not to sound cliché, but life’s too short to care about what other people think of you as you’re sipping a margarita poolside with your best friends. Don’t miss out on making memories because you’re embarrassed about thighs that touch, a flat chest or a full belly. It took me some time, but I know now most people embrace others no matter what they look like. Summer is meant for fun so don’t stop having it because of a body hang up. You know what the kids say these days…YOLO.

Beautiful girl with white fabric walking on the beach. Happy you

Learning self-love is hard, especially during swimsuit season

Sometimes, it’s hard to put on that bathing suit. Girls are so hard on themselves, author Kate Oczypok included.

Kate takes us on her journey learning to love her body in a swimsuit.

Want to read more on the body positive movement? Check out this piece on how big girls should be able to wear bikinis.

Arranged Marriages and Problem Solving: Is TV’s ‘Married at First Sight’ on to Something?

It might seem like just another reality show… but Married at First Sight brings up important points about love and relationships.

Recently I’ve been obsessed with Lifetime’s hit Married at First Sight, now in its 7th season. In this reality show, relationship experts match three sets of strangers who have agreed to meet (and marry) their future spouse at the altar. The show follows the first months of their marriages, and in the final episode, the couples decide if they want to stay married or get a divorce.

At first, the show’s concept sounded absurd to me.

It used to be that reality shows were about answering quiz questions or eating worms… not getting married. Sure, there were relationship shows— but signing up to play The Dating Game or going on NEXT was one thing. Getting legally married on TV? To a stranger? That’s another.

But after watching a few episodes, I started to think that maybe these couples aren’t so crazy after all. It occured to me that maybe this show was on to something. Here are the top four relationship lessons I learned from Married at First Sight:

1. Looks (really) aren’t everything

Over the years, I’ve watched a lot of single friends swipe left on potential matches because, “her hair is weird” or because, “I don’t like his nose.”

With all these dating apps where the picture pops up first, it’s almost too easy to make decisions based on appearance. But Married at First Sight proves that looks aren’t always a good indication of a good match.

Season 1 star Jamie didn’t like her husband when they first met. She wasn’t attracted to him physically and, on day one, considered giving up on her marriage. But it’s lucky she didn’t, because today, they’re one of the show’s greatest success stories. Jamie and Doug are one of the few couples from the show who are still married, and now they have a baby girl.

Meanwhile, Season 2 stars Davina and Sean were immediately attracted to each other when they met at their wedding—but things went bad quickly. They fought about where to live and ended up barely seeing each other over the course of the show. Their passion fizzled out and it was no surprise when they got a divorce.

Whether this changes the way you Tinder (or not) it’s definitely something to think about. It’s funny to think that if Jamie had first seen her now-husband Doug on a dating app, she would have swiped left and that would have been the end of it. But if Davina and Sean had seen each other on an app they probably would have been a match.

It’s proof that looks can be deceiving.


2. It doesn’t always matter how long you’ve been together

When it comes down to it, the show is simply about arranged marriages, a tradition that was very popular for many generations and is still practiced today. While a match maker can’t always guarantee marital bliss, there were (and are) many loving, life-long, arranged marriages.

But even if you’re not up for the whole arranged marriage thing, there’s a lot to be learned by watching these Married at First Sight couples because, as it turns out, their relationships aren’t that much different from many other new marriages.

They still have to worry about finances, their living situation, and family planning. They also set goals together and they enjoy their honeymoon phase… just like any other married couple. Of course, these TV spouses have the added challenge of not knowing each other well, and that can add a lot of stress, but a lot of their issues, problems, and even their joys are similar to ones any newly married couple would have.

When I started watching Married at First Sight, I thought I would have nothing in common with these people who were marrying strangers… after all, my husband and I were together for nearly ten years before we got married. But as it turns out, I definitely saw similarities.

When Ashley and Anthony from Season 5 were decorating their new place together with mementos from their wedding, it reminded me of the fun my husband and I had putting up wedding pictures. When Mia and Tristan from Season 7 first considered moving for Tristan’s work, it reminded me of how hard it was for my husband and I to decide to move.

Like anyone trying to make a life together, these new couples practice communicating, try to account for each others’ needs, and even learn how to best show affection. Sometimes, it doesn’t matter how long a couple has been dating, marriage will always carry new challenges, new perks, and plenty of changes.

3. In a relationship, and especially a marriage, it’s important to not give up too fast

Throughout the show, every couple hits roadblocks. They fight about where they’ll live and how many kids they want. They argue about families and chores and careers—all typical things for couples to clash on at one point or another—but that doesn’t make it any easier. Like many couples who are faced with one of their first big disagreements, they sometimes talk about calling it quits.

Of course, these Married at First Sight couples can’t do that so easily. They’re married (and, I suppose, have a TV contract) so they can’t simply walk out of each other’s lives. But in typical new relationships, a lot of people decide to do just that.

Shawniece and Jephte from Season 6 had some issues early on, mainly about Jephte not opening up. Shawniece would get frustrated and start saying that she couldn’t be in a relationship with Jephte if he didn’t change. There would be a lot of tension, like they were about to break up, but after a talk, or a counselling session with one of the show’s relationship experts, the problem would be solved and everything would be fine.

The problem, which had seemed like grounds for divorce at the time, ended up being nothing. In fact, a lot of times those fights ended up being an opportunity to bond and get to know each other better.

It’s important to remember that sometimes small arguments can seem like a big deal, but that doesn’t mean you’re incompatible or you can’t build a relationship. Shawniece and Jephte ended up staying together after the show ended, and now have a baby on the way.


4. Know when to not waste your time

While Shawniece and Jephte made it work, that doesn’t mean that sticking with a relationship is always the right choice. Some couples are simply not meant to be together, sometimes people change, and often breakups and divorces are the best option.

Season 6 couple Molly and Jonathan had a difficult time from the beginning. Molly didn’t feel comfortable getting physical, they had explosive fights, and it seemed like they never got along. So, it was no surprise when they decided to get divorced before the show ended.

They knew that the marriage wasn’t going to work and they didn’t want to waste their time. They came to the season finale to talk about their decision and left on good terms.

While there is value in not giving up on a relationship, of maximizing the best parts of your chemistry and not dwelling on your challenges, there is a point where a couple has to acknowledge when they’re simply not compatible.

While you may want to put all your energy and time into a relationship to try to make it work, sometimes you shouldn’t. And that’s okay.

These Married at First Sight stars took a big risk when they agreed to marry a stranger, and while most of us would never agree to get married at first sight, we can still learn something from these couples. Their relationships show viewers how to get passed differences, how to find and create love, and how to create a life together. Not every relationship is built to last, but some are worth fighting for, and I think, in the end, that’s all that really matters.

True LOVE Confessions by Sierra Mercier

Time for a confession…

I haven’t always been lucky in love. I mean, let’s be honest, few of us are. Love is a quest that requires training, it requires patience, and usually it involves devastating heartbreak. But it’s how we bounce back, it’s what we do with our circumstances that determines victory or defeat.


sierra mercier-confessions

When I was younger, I didn’t recognize my value, and this caused me to be vulnerable to situations where my value was taken advantage of. I was physically and sexually abused by a peer of the opposite sex, and I was sexually abused and assaulted by someone I trusted, someone in a position of authority, someone I looked up to.

Though the road to healing from these wounds has been long and windy, it’s my outlook, and choice to turn poison into medicine that’s enabled me to really work on loving myself, recognizing my value, and thus attracting the type of love that I truly deserve.

Girls, women, sisters… please hear me! Each and every one of you is a Goddess. Feel into that power, fuel that power with self love, self respect, and then share that love with the world. I promise you that if you do this, you will attract the most loving, healthy, happy relationships.