Tag: Advice

How to Spot Sexual Attraction in Eyes

by zfortadminin LOVE

Out of all the different non-verbal behaviors, I think that spotting attraction is without a doubt the easiest. We are very emotional creatures and when we’re attracted to somebody, it’s very, very difficult to hide. People think they’re hiding it, but things always slip.

One of the ways they slip are essentially the eyes. There are a lot of different ways you can use the eyes to determine whether or not someone’s attracted to you. The first thing is essentially eye contact. For the most part, usually we make eye contact with people that we’re interested in or people that we’re attracted to. Right? But this is not entirely true. Some people are shy or anxious and they’re not going to make eye contact. So what you’re looking for essentially is a deviation in eye contact.

So one of the ways you can use eye contact and there’s a little trick that’s very, very reliable. So what you’re going to do is if you look at somebody in a bar or restaurant or on the street and they break eye contact vertically, so they look down. So you make eye contact with them and they break eye contact vertically and then within 20-30 seconds they reestablish eye contact, approach them. They like you. It’s a very, very reliable thing.

Essentially what they’re doing. You stare at them. They’re submitting to you and then they take a little second glance to see who you are. It’s very, very, very reliable. The opposite of that would be if you look at somebody and they look at you and they immediately go and break eye contact. Nope, not interested. But what is reliable is they break eye contact and they come back. Break eye contact and then come back. Break eye contact and then come back. It’s very interesting.

And don’t let it wait. If you see that, go right away because the more and more you wait. The more and more eye contact becomes very, very awkward. One of the things that I do in one of my classes is I have people stare each other in the eyes for three minutes without saying anything. They just stare each other in the eyes like this. Try that. Go out and try to stare somebody in the eyes for even 90 seconds. I guarantee you can’t do it. It’s awkward. It’s so awkward because humans are not really at a level intimacy. When you stare somebody in the eyes is so awkward when you’re doing it with a stranger.

Studies will show that if you stare somebody in the eyes for 90 seconds to three minutes, all of a sudden you’re going to like that person a lot better than everybody else in the room because you kind of shared this emotional connection. So eye contact is important in that respect.

The second thing you can look for essentially is blink rate. Now, this is really cool. So blink rate correlate with emotional excitement. When we are emotionally excited, our blink rates tend to increase. Right? Average blink rates tend to be below 20 blinks per minute. For most people it really depends on where you are, but it’s really hard to nail down what the average blink rate is. But in my experience, it seems to be around 10 blinks per minute. Right? So you see, whenever you see a sudden spike or a bunch of sudden spikes in somebody’s blink rate in can be an indication of attraction. In my dating studies you see blink rates through the roof because the person across the table from you has an emotional response. You’re attracted to them.

The third way of kind of using the eyes to determine attraction is dilation. It’s very interesting. Our eyes dilate when we’re attracted to something. Right? Go out and find a Maxim magazine or a Playboy magazine or any cover that’s predominately men focusing. Every single woman will have her eyes dilated. You never, ever see them constricted. The reason why is because men perceive women with dilated eyes more attractive than women with more constricted eyes. To the point of back in the day prostitutes used to put a specific toxin in their eyes to make them dilate.

Guy-Approved Seduction Tips

by zfortadminin SEX TIPS
Seduce the right guy, the right way.

Men are simple creatures. Women spend much more time pondering our desires and motivations than  than we do, but nobody said we don’t value introspection. Women want to know what men want, and men—when plied with alcohol—want to tell them. So armed with a pen and an open bar tab, I set out to find the information that will help you snag your man.

First, know what you’re after. More and more women are holding off on relationships—at least for a while—and, like countless men before them, complaining that they can’t get no satisfaction. Emphasis on ‘action.’ So the first question I posed to the motley mass: “What should a woman do to get your interest if they want to sleep with you?”

“Just say hello!”

“Ask us to buy you a beer.”

“Stick your hand on my crotch.”

“Dress slutty, and take off your shirt.”

What can I say? We’re a shallow lot. The truth is, if you want to seduce a man into bed with you and he doesn’t have what he thinks is a “better” option, you just have to lay it out there. Alcohol helps. Ugly, I know.

But seducing for life is another matter. “Men, instinctually, gotta hunt,” says Bechir, 26, “and what we hunt is hot women. But every man doesn’t see ‘hot’ the same way.”

Just like we wouldn’t use a monkey wrench to put up drywall, you’ll need different tools depending on what kind of guy you’re trying to land. So tip number two? Know your audience. A primer:

The Baller
The Guy: Whether he loves football or baseball, basketball or soccer or rugby, his dream girl is a sexy, fun, low-maintenance, bust-open-a-beer cheerleader for “Team Him.” He loves the gym, loves sports, and will wear his team’s jerseys to your grandparents’ 50th wedding anniversary party.

The Approach: In his mind, he’s a big league athlete, so compliment his physique, and be specific (“You have great triceps”). He spends time on this, and he’ll be psyched you noticed. Lots of  arm-touching and bicep squeezing is good; make him feel strong (Hint: We love it when you say, “Can you open this?”) Drink a beer, not a martini, and ask him to play a game of darts or pool. Even if you suck, he’ll love teaching you the game. It’s also a great place for physical contact. “And ask him if he ever played sports,” said Mark, 31, to grunts of approval all around. “We love that.”

The Warning: You may always play second fiddle to the gym or his favorite sports team, and Sunday afternoon could be really frustrating for you. If he doesn’t give up Sunday afternoon orMonday Night Football for you when you’re dating, he  never will. Kids won’t change it either; he’ll want to teach them to love the Jets/Bulls/Yankees as much as he does.

The Big Daddy
The Guy: This guy doesn’t just think of himself as a man, he thinks of himself as The Man, and you should, too. He loves women, but not in the most modern, equality-driven way, and he wants his girlfriend (or wife) to be sexy.

The Approach: Be hot, but don’t dress in the “screw-me” dress or that’s all you’ll get. “It’s all about the first look,” says Bechir, “an outfit that compliments you best feature: breasts, ass, legs, whatever you got. Look good with just a hint of ‘freak’ that might be his later. This is a dog, give him a little bone!”   Let him talk about himself, because this guy values a supportive woman more than an intellectual one. “I want a loyal woman who is gonna take care of me when it counts ,” says Hector, 27, “the kitchen and the bedroom.” Two guys high-five behind him, but I look a little uncomfortable until Hector’s friend jumps in: “Cook him dinner! If you cook like his mom, you’re in!”

Warning: Cook like his mom, but don’t smell like his mom. Find a unique perfume that smells all-girl. And most importantly, don’t confuse “supportive” with “vapid.” Make jokes, show some spirit, and don’t overdo it. If there’s a small something you don’t like about him, don’t lie; turn it into a positive. If he’s pudgy, call him your “pudgy bear.” Then have crazy sex with him.

The Nerd
The Guy: Forget coy smiles from across the bar; this guy won’t approach you. In his mind he’s still the skinny dork standing on the sidelines of the school dance.

The Approach: Chum it up. Laugh at his jokes, don’t wear make-up, be a dork. It’s cool with him. This is a good guy who want a real girl. Also, comment on how smart he is. He thinks his brain is his best feature, so make it seem sexy. And use the following phrase: “You are really cute, I love your (insert desirable quality here).” He’ll fall all over himself if he thinks you might give him the rock-star sex that he spends good money to watch on the internet. But be careful: these guys make great best friends, but move from “buddy” to “relationship” quickly or you could slip into the “best-friend-with benefits” zone.

Warning: These guys usually have a hobby or interest you don’t understand–RPG’s, Lord of the Rings obsessions, Fantasy Football, whatever. Don’t mock it.. If you don’t get it, fine. Just be supportive. If you happen to love it, too, then dress up in Star Trek outfits and role-play your way to Geek Love.

The Bad Boy
The Guy: Hot, interesting, mysterious and full of possibilities… the ultimate diamond in the rough. This guy is unpredictable, and no matter how many times he forgets to call or  issues last minute invitations, there is a certain brilliance and sensitivity and excitement about him. Or so you say.

Approach: “If you’re hot enough or I have nothing better, you’re in,” says Marco, 23, who claims he ‘really means well every time [he] screws up.’ Be interested, fun and up for anything, but not needy. In fact, don’t need anything, because you won’t get it. This is all about him, and if you’re open to adventure and don’t mind clutching coat tails, he’ll be happy to take you for a wild ride.

Warning: He is never going to change. You won’t fix him. He will crush your heart into pieces, and then snort them up his nose. If you still want to pursue him, go into your room and draw a map of where you’re about to hide your self-esteem, because you won’t be able to find it later.

Despite their differences, there was one thing that all the men agreed upon: If you have goals for a guy beyond the end of the evening, don’t look slutty or be crude in public; we don’t want to take that home to mom. Men may love porn, but we don’t want to marry a porn star.

Feeling like the topic was thoroughly vetted, I started to close out the tab when  a new voice piped up:

“It’s so hard and yet so simple,” said Phillip, a divorced father of two. “If you want to seduce a man down the aisle, be positive, bring joy to the table, use your brain, laugh, and let us think we are–at least to you–the smartest most interesting man in the world, and that you will always be an advocate for us.”

The men all nodded quietly, struck dumb by awe and Heineken, till, with equal reverence, Todd, 34, chimed in: “And you gotta give blow jobs.”

 

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Relationship Bliss in 10

by zfortadminin RELATIONSHIPS

1. They go to bed at the same time.
Remember when you first started dating and you couldn’t wait to cuddle and sleep next to each other? Well, don’t forget that! Going to sleep at the same time is a necessity. When you go to bed together, you’re promoting healthy relationship patterns.

2. They find common interests.
It’s important to really enjoy spending time together. He doesn’t need to share your love of reality TV, and you obviously don’t need to understand his adoration for ESPN, but you should have activities that the two of you look forward to doing as a couple. Whether it’s picking a new recipe to try every weekend, going for a run, or simply watching The Blacklist, find something fun to do consistently together.

3. They touch.
Small gestures like holding hands or putting your arm around each other increases closeness, which is always a factor in the lives of happy couples. When you hold hands, you’re subconsciously reminding yourself that you care about each other.
Passion couple

4. They don’t pointlessly nag.
Happy couples emphasize the positive things that their partner does. This means that if something is bothering you, you have a real conversation about it. Nitpicking, nagging, or criticizing are not the way to someone’s heart.

5. They embrace affection, continuing to kiss each other hello and say “I love you.”
Before you leave for work in the morning, give your partner a really great goodbye kiss and say I love you. When you come home from a long day, do it again. Your morning and evening greeting should be something that you look forward to. Once you start kissing and sharing your feelings often, you’ll appreciate each other more. People forget that the small things make a difference. When you begin your day with a loving gesture, you’re starting on a great note.

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4 Keys to Sexual Mastery

by zfortadminin Sex

How much sex will make you a master?

It can be a long, hard, slow, exquisite road to sexual mastery. One that, according to Malcolm Gladwell’s ideas on developing expertise in anything, takes 10,000 hours to travel.

If you are adhering to my weekly sex date rule, and Dr. Oz’s 200 orgasms a year prescription—even better if they are 4-hour orgasms—and you throw in a monthly sex weekend, you will be well on your way.

Self-pleasuring counts. As does reading, discussion, fantasy-sharing, phone sex, webcam adventures and the like.

Even still, you may need to up your commitment to sexual mastery. Given that the study is such a rewarding one, leading to genius, immortality, radiant health and spiritual ascension, it is time very well spent.

Here are some suggestions to hone your talents and release what lies within:

1) Study.

Their lips. Their eyes. Their breath. The shape, texture, taste and scent of every inch of them.

“I never knew I wanted to be a geographer until I saw your body.” ~ Autumn Sonnichshen

As you pause and linger over every nuance of your lover, you truly see them. That level of nakedness and vulnerability is the key to the hottest and most life-changing sex possible.

When you focus your attention so that you are present to every energetic fluctuation in between you, you slow down time. Your lovemaking becomes an intuitive dance rather than a pre-choreographed strategy.

2) Absorb their wisdom.

Yes. Every ounce of it.

Sexual fluids are potent elixirs. They are infused with your concentrated yin and yang essences. Ingesting them has a profoundly balancing and nourishing effect.

Ancient cultures collected male and female ejaculate to imbibe after an encounter: a power drink, if you will. Ditch the Red Bull and save a ton of money on those superfoods you love so much: you can harvest your own! Bottoms up, kids.

The act of devouring all aspects of your lover: literally drinking them in, is healing and bonds you more deeply.

3) Mentor under someone you admire.

The quality of admiration is overlooked in relationship. If I look back at the people I have been with, the degree to which I admired them—truly respected who they were and their contributions to the world—is the degree to which I have utterly succumbed.

Use admiration as your barometer for desire.
When you are with such a person, mentor under, on top of, on your knees and prostate with them.
I could go on and on: the possibilities are truly endless. It’s up to you to discover them.

4) Getting in The Zone.

You’ve probably had the experience of getting into “The Zone” in some part of your life. It’s that area where everything flows naturally, often found in sports, physical activity (like yoga!) or a creative act. We tap into a space where we are uncensored, natural and preternaturally gifted, even genius, at what we are engaged with.

Aim for this in your sex life: both in your emotional connection with your partner and physically.

Keep going until you get there. If you approach every conversation and sexual act as an experience that can bring you transcendence, then you will breakthrough to the other side into “The Zone.” It is here that what you’ve created takes on a life of its own.

Think of it like going running when you haven’t been out in a while. The first fifteen minutes can be grueling and feel like every lift of your leg is work. After a while, the run begins to carry you. (That, and the endorphins—much like sex).

It can be like this with sticky conversations that need to be had. At first, it feels awkward and clunky. Then you get some momentum going and you slide into a beautiful, intimate, raw space with each other. This is the golden zone.

It happens in physical sex too—you may take 15 or 30 minutes to truly find your rhythm with each other, but when you do, aim to stay there as long as possible.

This is where you learn from the act: it becomes your teacher. You begin to channel a flow and internal wisdom (your body knows) that comes from the deepest parts of you.

The best lovers aren’t made through a series of books and classes (though they don’t hurt). They are grown through the deepening of awareness, fearlessness and the ability to stay present in each moment.

Uncover. Get naked. Explore. Follow the flow.

And those 10,000 hours will pass by in the blink of an eye.

 

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

5 Sex Positions Women Love

by zfortadminin Sex

Positions that feel great and ease back pain? Let’s go!

When it comes to sex, positioning is key — and the more sex positions you have in your arsenal, the better.

Of course, your sexual positions have to ensure that your girl enjoys herself, so comfort is key, especially if she suffers from regular back pain. Besides, who wants to get a cramp or feel like their kneecap’s breaking all in the name of an orgasm?

A recent study (the first of its kind) carried out at Waterloo University focused on how the spine moves during sex and tried to find the best positions that will please your partner and ease her back pain.

Basically, if your lady experiences pain after sitting for a long time, she’s flexion-intolerant, and side-by-side or doggy-style are the way to go. If, on the other hand, she feels pain when she arches her back or is down on her stomach, she’s extension-intolerant, and missionary is what you’ll want to play around with.

That said, it’s time to check out five awesome sex positions that encourage slow rhythm and a highly penetrative tempo!

Bronco Buster

This is a female superior position AKA the kind of position most guys like best.

Get into it: Whether it’s a coffee table or a lounge chair, find a place where you can lie down and let your legs hang off the edge, while your girl gets to place her legs on either side, and stand on her feet to maneuver on top of you. Place your hands on her hips while she moves up and down, side to side, or even in a figure-eight swivel.

Raising The Mast

This is a male superior position that you’re guaranteed to enjoy immensely.

Get into it: While you kneel, rest your woman’s heels against your shoulders. This position allows you to enjoy different levels of penetration. For an added bonus, place a pillow under her butt and give her an orgasm that’ll make her knees weak. Luckily, she’s lying down.

Continue to the Bamboo Split, the Puppet Master and, of course, the Lock and Pose…

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How Your Lover Can Enhance Your Orgasm

by zfortadminin Sex

Need help achieving an orgasm with your lover?

These six tips increase your likelihood of happy endings.

  1. Don’t expect orgasm to take place during intercourse. 3/4 of women need direct stimulation of the clitoris to achieve an orgasm.
  2. You must be touched all over, not just those places! Think of sex as a whole body massage.
  3. Foreplay helps women have orgasms. When making love, do everything at half speed. Incorporate 30 minutes of kissing, cuddling, and whole-body sensual caressing.
  4. Use a Lubricant. Lube makes women’s genitals more erotically sensitive.
  5. Break out of routines. Try something different. Ever notice that sex in hotels feels more arousing?
  6. Take a vibrator to bed. Some women need the intense stimulation that only vibrators can provide.

 

Curated by Erbe
Original Source

Dating Rules for the 21st Century

by Lorraine Rockin DATING ADVICE, LOVE

Does anybody actually date any more? It seems that dating rules may be an outmoded concept, but perhaps they shouldn’t be. Even if the way people meet in the electronic era may be quite different from 50 years ago, people still do meet, hang out and eventually pair up.

In 2012 a national survey published by a CDC affiliate concluded that though “people are marrying for the first time at older ages, and many adults co-habit with a partner”. In 2006–2010, the probability of first marriage by age 25 was still 44% for women ( a decrease of 25% from 1995) and by age 35 the probability of first marriage was 78% , by age 40 there was no significant change.

It would seem obvious that people are still finding love, and most of them still date, hang out or hook-up first.

Since it would seem that more people live together before marriage, and eventually marry (not necessarily the person they lived with, according to the data), does this mean that people are more sophisticated in their dating habits, or just more choosy? The third option is that people are just taking longer to grow up and take on adult responsibilities.

Updating the guidelines for how to meet a partner – and let’s face it, that’s what we are doing, however long it may last – probably has more to do with how we meet that when.

A picture of a romantic couple on a date in Gdansk

In the recent past, probably still in your parents’ generation, most people met through work, friends or family. Someone actually knew the person you met. (Of course there have always been casual hook-ups in bars or at parties, but these encounters were less likely to produce an actual date!). In the electronic age people have a much wider menu of options, in addition to the traditional ones, all of these options still need some navigating, and a road map (or GPS) is always useful.

Many cautionary tales have been written already on being careful how we meet through electronic media, and I won’t re-state them here. In fact, these rules fall into some logical groups:

  • Always find out who you are really speaking to;
  • Meet first in a public place;
  • Be yourself, but be sparing with personal information.

These guidelines actually make logical sense no matter how you meet!

Now that we’ve met, how do we present ourselves? What are the guidelines for behaviour in the modern era? Dating rules for previous generations had people putting on their very best selves, and presenting a persona that probably did not exist at all. I would suggest that this is actually a recipe for failure. As the song lyric goes “be yourself”, not every date turns into a romance, but could be the possibility of a new friendship.

Trying to find out how compatible you are, without sounding like you are interviewing for a mate, can be tricky. Using a tactic from the business world may help here. Active listening, as opposed to just hearing, means paying attention to what the person is saying, and giving gentle prompts, to keep them talking. I am a natural blabbermouth, so I know how hard this can be for some of us. Sure the other party wants to know about you, but dole it out in small doses, they don’t need to know everything on the first date.

It has been said that charismatic personalities have a knack of making the other person feel fascinating, as though they are the only person in the room. They do this largely through making eye contact (not staring, that just creepy!) and paying attention, i.e. Active Listening!

This also means that you learn a lot more about the other person, and they will probably find you fascinating too. Hopefully they will also listen when its your turn, but if they don’t that will give you some valuable insights into their personality as well.

Our parents had rules about how far to “go” on dates. Though this may seem old-fashioned it had it’s merits. Getting to know someone before falling into bed with them has been shown to lead to a better relationship. Introducing sex into the equation too soon may lead to the intimacy taking over. Its not about prudery, but caution. If the sex is mind-blowing, then that’s probably all you will do! ( Many couples have found that when good sex wanes there isn’t anything else.) If the encounter is less than stellar it will probably lead to a quick end to any kind of relationship, and you may lose the opportunity to make a new friend.

Making a new friend may sound like a boring goal for dating, but it has been shown that having friends, of both genders, leads to a happier and more fulfilling life. Keeping the initial dates light and friendly takes the “shopping for a mate” aspect out of the way, and may actually lead to a better experience.

Continuing with that theme, what do you do on a first date? Experts suggest that you meet for coffee, or at best lunch. This places fewer expectations on both parties, and limits the amount of time you spend together. Most people find that you know almost immediately if there is a reason to meet again. Trust your instincts, this is the theory on which Speed-Dating is based. In the business world it is said that you make a decision about a candidate in the first six seconds! That may be extreme, not everyone is a star right out of the gate.

So who pays? Accoring to old-fashioned etiquette, s/he who made the invitation should pay. Of course if you are just meeting for coffee or lunch it probably isn’t a big question. After the first date I would suggest you do what you would do with a friend of the same gender, split the check, or offer to pay – and “you can get it next time”.

As far as continuing the relationship, how about deciding if there is going to be a next time, at the time? I may be naive, but honesty really is the best policy. If you just didn’t hit it off, don’t agree to meet again, and guys, please, drop the “I’ll call you” line if you don’t mean it! A simple , “it was a pleasure to meet you, see you around” should get the message across.

References:

The 9 Best Times to Have Sex

by zfortadminin Sex

Have better orgasms, make love for longer and more with some smart scheduling

Your Sensual Schedule

Timing is important for, say, landing a dream job or catching a sale. But here’s some intimate info: It’s also crucial when it comes to sex! You’ve probably heard that the ideal time of the month to get pregnant is when you’re ovulating (usually in the middle of your menstrual cycle,between day 11 and 21, depending on the person), but you may not realize that certain times of the day, month and year are best for other sexual goals. For a more satisfying sex life, here’s when to get busy if you…

1. …want an amazing orgasm.

This may sound counterintuitive, but the day you’re most likely to experience a mind-bending orgasm is actually the day before you get your period, according to Laurie Watson, a sex therapist and couples counselor in Raleigh, NC, and author of Wanting Sex Again. “When blood accumulation makes your uterus heavy, contractions are more perceptible during orgasm, and your labial and clitoral tissue tends to be more sensitive when you retain fluids,” says Watson. “Convince yourself to give sex a shot, even if you’re feeling grouchy and uncomfortable, because it may cheer you right up,” she suggests.

2. …want sex to last longer.

The top time is between Christmas and New Year’s Day, when you and your husband are likely out of the office. “When you have no work pressures and are spending many hours with your mate, it’s easier to have luxurious, unhurried sex that lasts and lasts,” says Terence Watts, a psychotherapist based in the U.K. who specializes in psychosexual problems. “A slow build-up is key. Flirt with your husband in the morning by whispering in his ear, and then make lots of eye contact with him during meals.”

3. …want to drive your guy wild.

As you’ve likely noticed, men often wake up with erections, says Amy Levine, a sexologist based in New York City and the founder of IgniteYourPleasure.com. So instead of making him wait all day, set your alarm for 10 minutes earlier on a work day and have a quickie first thing in the morning. You might enjoy it more, too. “As women age, they tend to get more tired at night, so evening sex is less desirable,” says Watson. In other words, you have more energy for a crack-of-dawn romp than a late-night one.

4. …want to relieve pain.

If you can get past the ick factor, making love while you’re on your period can actually reduce uncomfortable cramps, says Levine. “It may be because an orgasm causes uterine contractions, which ease pain, and your body releases the hormone oxytocin and the neurotransmitter dopamine, which make you feel happy and relaxed.” If you can expect sex when Aunt Flo shows, you just may look forward to your time of month!

Sexy Couple

5. …want to feel confident in bed.

Get it on after you’ve broken a sweat. A study from the University of Florida found that people who exercise without losing fat or gaining strength or endurance feel just as much body confidence as those who get fitter. So even if you don’t look different from your workout, you think you do, according to the research. That improved self-esteemcould make you freer between the sheets. Maybe you’ll even leave the lights on!

6. …want to have crazy, no-holds-barred sex.

Plan an unforgettable evening during a steamy time of year, like July or August in most parts of the country, because you’ll have more opportunities to get it on discreetly outside, like in your yard or on your roof, says Levine. Being outdoors means you’ve already left your comfort zone, so you may be more likely to think outside the box. “Plus, sunshine boosts serotonin in the brain, which improves your mood, so you may enjoy yourself more,” says Tammy Nelson, PhD, a sex and relationship expert in New Haven, CT, and author of Getting the Sex You Want.

7. …are too busy.

Schedule a weekend date night when you don’t have a work commitment and are less exhausted. You don’t even have to leave the house! Put on some mellow music, order in and take a breather together from the hectic week to enjoy each other’s company. Consider asking a friend or relative to take the kids out—the more romantic and relaxed the environment, the more you set the stage for amazing sex. “Focus on quality over quantity,” recommends Watts.

8. …want to get out of a sexual rut.

The longer you’ve been with your partner, the harder it is to be creative in the bedroom. And missionary style every Saturday night can get a little boring. To mix things up, set an alarm for 3 A.M. and straddle your spouse in the middle of the night, recommends Levine. We’re pretty sure he won’t mind being woken up.

9. …want to survive wedding season.

Summertime means party time—especially with weddings. These six-hour affairs are romantic and fun, but also draining. “By the time a wedding’s over, couples come home feeling too full, too drunk or too tired, and those factors can sabotage sex,” says Watson. If your calendar’s chock full of nuptials, it may be tough to get action. Why wait until midnight? Fool around before you leave for the event, and you’ll be glowing on the dance floor all night.

 

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

8 Secrets of Sexually Satisfied Couples

by zfortadminin Sex

1. THEY SCHEDULE SEX.

What? Put “Have sex” on your calendar? “Absolutely!” say couples happy with their sex lives. Rather than killing the mood with a lack of spontaneity, scheduling sex tends to “take away all the very real excuses I could otherwise use, like that I’m exhausted after working and getting the kids to bed,” says Holly Jenkins,* who has been married for two years and has three boys under the age of 10. “For couples in long-term relationships, planning a romantic interlude leads to a higher-quality, more enjoyable sexual experience,” says Victoria Zdrok Wilson, JD, PhD, who cowrote The 30-Day Sex Solution with her husband, John Wilson. Instead of thinking of calendar sex as unromantic, view it instead as a delicious form of foreplay. Send each other anticipatory texts, plan what you’ll wear (or not), and so on.

2. THEY LOCK THE BEDROOM DOOR.

This little bit of hardware is essential in a home with children, says Jennifer Flanders, who’s been married 24 years and has 12 children, ranging in age from 11 months to 23 years. She jokes that whenever the family moves to a new home, a new lock on the master bedroom tops the to-do list. Even if you don’t have a physical lock, creating a sense of boundaries is key, says Sacha Mohammed—married 14 years, with 7 children. “I always made sure the children were put to bed on time when they were little so my husband and I could have our time together; the kids were also taught to always knock to announce their presence.” According to Dr. Zdrok Wilson, “each couple needs to evaluate their environment and determine the optimal conditions for great sex.” For some, a lock may be enough to create an adults-only barrier. Others may need to go further to create a sensual, relaxing haven in their bedroom by banning electronic gadgets, computers and TVs, not to mention kids and their toys!

3. THEY HAVE PERFECTED THE QUICKIE.

During certain critical periods in a marriage––particularly when you’re new parents––time and energy are both at a premium. Couples who maintain a good sex life during these challenging times have learned to make the quickie something that’s good for both of them. If you’ve avoided speedy sex sessions in the past because it takes time for you to physically get in the mood, don’t underestimate the power of the mind-body connection. Try thinking of a place or time when the sex was amazing, and use it like a meditation, taking yourself back there in your mind, says Sharon Gilchrest O’Neill, marriage and family therapist and author of A Short Guide to a Happy Marriage. And “don’t be afraid of fantasizing,” she adds, because if you can figure out how to use 20 minutes to your advantage, you can avoid dry spells in your sex life.

Man Waiting In Bed

4. THEY EXPERIMENT.

“Be open to different ways of expressing yourself sexually,” says Jenkins. “As with music, people tend to like a mix of the predictable and unexpected.” You have to find the right balance between being adventurous and being conventional: Don’t be so conventional that it’s boring. But don’t be so adventurous that you lose your intimacy–or level of comfort. This could mean everything from positions to the overall attitude you bring to the intimate encounter. Sexual ruts––always doing it on a certain day, at a certain time, in a certain room––can breed boredom. Something as simple as mixing it up on the living room floor or in the shower can add some much-needed spice. Or get out of the house entirely. “Many couples report that they have the best sex when they’re not at home,” says Dr. Zdrok Wilson. “I call it ‘the dirty little motel’ syndrome.” And it doesn’t have to be limited to when you’re on vacation—hire a babysitter or drop the kids off at their grandparents’ house every once in a while so the two of you can book a room even if it’s only for a couple of hours.

5. THEY KEEP COMMUNICATING.

Mohammed says that “excellent communication skills” is the top reason she and her husband continue to enjoy a satisfying sex life. “Before we got married, my husband told me we would talk about everything, and he meant it,” she says. There’s no other way to understand what your partner wants, needs or enjoys other than talking. And don’t make assumptions: You may be surprised to learn that what you thought was foolproof doesn’t really float his boat anymore, says Gilchrest O’Neill. “Save those conversations for when you’re not having sex, though in the actual moment, speak up about small adjustments your partner can make to increase enjoyment.”

6. THEY AVOID OR REJECT EXCUSES.

“Many of the excuses other couples use to avoid sex––like headaches, stress, tiredness or arguments––are some of the exact same reasons we choose to make sex a priority,” says Flanders. “Sex relieves pain, reduces stress, promotes better sleep and motivates us to settle our disagreements quickly.” Beware of letting excuses take on a life of their own, because, to use one example, the kids aren’t needy babies forever, and before you know it sex is so far on the back burner it’s fallen completely off the stove. “Brainstorm solutions to the things that get in the way of having sex,” suggests Gilchrest O’Neill. Tired? Go to bed earlier. Not enough time? Get creative with the hours or minutes you do have. However, if the root of your excuses isn’t fixable with practical changes (for example, if there are underlying problems or resentments), consider seeing a therapist.

7. THEY TRUST EACH OTHER.

Jenkins cites her and her husband’s adventurous sex life, but is quick to add that for adventurousness to exist, it has to be preceded by trust. “Great sex is a reflection of the overall rapport and communication you have in other rooms of the house. To have trust with your spouse, you have to always try to build each other up outside the bedroom. If you say or do something critical or disrespectful to your partner during the day, why would he want to be naked and try something new with you later that evening?” she asks. Trust, comfort and ease with each other happens when you engage in active listening, says Dr. Zdrok Wilson. “You have to work on listening to your partner in an active, empathetic way and reciprocate by confiding in him, and baring your own feelings,” she says. Once you two feel like allies—not adversaries—your sex life will feel more honest and, hopefully, a lot hotter!

8. THEY CARE ABOUT THEIR APPEARANCE AND HEALTH.

“We still take pride in how we look for each other,” says Mohammed. Certainly staying in shape and paying attention to appearance helps you and your partner maintain the mood. But it’s not just about pleasing your partner’s eye; taking care of yourself makes you feel good about yourself. Not only that, but your libido is dependent on your overall health. “When you feel unhealthy, tired, ill or lacking in energy, you’re not likely to be motivated to engage in regular sexual activity,” says Dr. Zdrok Wilson. So, hit the gym, put on some makeup or dress up even if you’re not going anywhere. Do whatever makes you feel sexy and he’s guaranteed to notice.

 

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

10 Things Women Don’t Know About Their Bodies

by zfortadminin Sex

How well do you know your body?

  • Bras fit differently depending on the stage of their Menstrual Cycle.
  • Consuming a lot of sugar can make you more prone to Yeast Infections.
  • Women permanently have full breasts, other mammals only have full breasts when they are breastfeeding.
  • Stay well hydrated can help keep your vagina lubricated it might help your vagina have a milder smell and taste.
  • Cranberries might be beneficial to your bladder. They can keep bacteria from sticking to the walls of your bladder.
  • Some women can feel when they are ovulating. It’s a pain felt only on one side in the abdominal area.
  • Wearing high heels might cause bunions. Bone growth develops on the base joint of the large toe, causing the big toe to angle in.
  • Women are born with 1 million immature eggs in their ovaries but only 300 – 500 of them will mature between the first period and menopause.

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It’s All Relative: Meeting the Parents

by Frankie Symmsin DATING ADVICE, LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

Whether you’ve been hot and heavy with your new main squeeze for a couple of months or a couple of years, meeting the parents is stressful for everyone. Your partner is hoping you get along with his entire network of relatives. His family is hoping you’re not too weird/crazy/mean to be dating him. You’re just trying to hold it all together. Luckily, with a little foresight and planning, you can ensure an easy introduction that works for everyone.

Do the homework.

If you’ve only been on a few dates with your honey, you might want to hold off on meeting Mom, Dad, and the rest of the gang until you get a sense of how he or she gets along with everyone. Do they talk and text everyday, or do they only get together at major holidays? Is there major drama with his older brother or her younger sister? Do they just not talk about long-lost Uncle Terry, or are conspiracy theories welcome? Also remember, if you’re being pressed to meet the family before you’re ready, be sure to let your partner know that you need time to get to know him or her better before you can meet everyone else.

Start small.

If your partner is set on you being his plus one at a big family wedding or this year’s multi-generational reunion, suggest that you meet a smaller group of his relatives to start out, especially if you’re shy or overwhelm easily in large groups. Meeting just your partner’s parents or siblings can give you a sense of their family dynamic without the added pressure of participating in a bouquet toss or three-legged race. Plus, you offer them the opportunity to really get to know you as a person, rather than as your date’s arm candy–it will make introductions at bigger family functions easier for everyone involved.

Set yourself up for success.

Encourage your partner to choose a meetup situation that works for everyone. After all, he knows everyone involved. Suggest avoiding passive activities, like attending a movie or sporting event, where conversation isn’t the focus. Sharing a meal, meeting for drinks, and other low-key social activities are best.

When the big day finally arrives, do everything you can to ensure a smooth introduction. Get a good night’s sleep, eat well, exercise–do whatever it is that helps you be your best self. Be polite and respectful, and follow your partner’s lead. Avoid discussing religion, politics, and other hot- button topics for the time being. Be sure to give everyone a basic picture of who you are. Tell them about your hometown, your work, and your hobbies. Keep it friendly and light–humor is your friend here.

Give honest feedback to your partner.

After you’ve both made it through the first meeting, take the time to check in with your partner. Let her know what you liked or didn’t like about the family, or ways that she behaved when she was with them that are red flags for you. If your relationship is getting serious, it’s important that decide together about what kind of family interactions are acceptable, and whether the two of you see eye-to-eye on how you fit into one another’s families. And don’t forget to emphasize the positives you experienced with his family–remembering the moments that worked alongside the moments that didn’t will go a long way toward figuring out the best way to build your relationships with family as a couple.

Sexual Fantasies You’ll Both Love

by zfortadminin Sex
Because a sex life filled with imagination is a better one.

Whether you’ve been together for two years or sixteen, you know how important passion is in your relationship. But did you know how key fantasies are in having a happy relationship? Being able to communicate your desires to your partner, keep things new and add imagination to sex will do wonders for you—both in the bedroom and outside.

And you’re not alone: About 95 percent of people report that they have sexual fantasies. According to a study conducted at the University of Granada, “women have pleasant romantic fantasies more frequently than men—a few times a month. Men, however, fantasize more frequently about sexcapades involving “being promiscuous”, “being a swinger”,”participating in an orgy.”

But don’t let these preferences hold you back, there are tons of fantasies to try with your significant other. Shares your desires, experiment and discover out what works best for you both as a couple.

You may surprise yourself—and get closer to your partner in the process.

1. Boss & Employee Fantasy
Just a few months ago, we told you that 56 percent of women and 61 percent of men have sexual fantasies about getting it on with coworkers in their office. So why not dress up in your work attire, get behind the desk and re-create the hot new hookup scenario that’s been on your mind? The allure of having sex with a coworker, especially your boss has to do with power—gaining it.

2. Ravishment Fantasy
According to a study from UCLA, 64 percent of women fantasize about this passionate and forceful kind of love. Why? Researchers felt that by imagining the man telling her what to do, the woman is able to give herself “permission to do the raunchy, hot sex stuff she feels a little embarrassed about, but deep down really does want to try.”

Now does the Fifty Shades Of Grey frenzy make more sense to you? YourTango expert Tammy Nelson explains that being ravished makes sense on an anatomical level for women, too. “A woman has to physically let go in order to orgasm.”

3. Storybook Lover Fantasy
This fantasy is more based on love that can be found in romance novels than the kind that takes place in the Victorian era. See how one woman’s sex dream came true when she told her boyfriend about her Clark Kent fantasy.

4. Be An Exhibitionist 
In his study of sexual fantasy, Who’s Been Sleeping in Your Head?, Brett Kahr found 19 percent of people fantasize about being watched during sex — and another 5 percent fantasize about taking it off in public. In for the risk? Put on a show. Get it on near the windows in your home or hotel room.

5. Be Voyeuristic
Does watching the show from the sidelines turn you on? Whether you’re spying on the neighbors or the couple getting it on at the beach, this fantasy is a common one. One easy way to make it happen? Go to nude beach or a sex show with your partner.

6. Watch Each Other Masturbate
Put a twist on your voyeuristic fantasy by watching your partner masturbate — or let them watch you. It will help them understand more of what you desire, and of course, it’s an instant turn on.

7. The Stranger Fantasy
Sharing a fantasy for the very first time? Here’s an easy one both men and women enjoy. There’s something sexy and mysterious about anonymity. In fact, the LELO Global Sex Survey discovered that having sex with a stranger is on the rise this year. Easy way to get in on the trend? Turn yourselves into strangers. For as long as you’ve known your partner, pretend you don’t. Different clothes, new hairstyles, different personalities, different names. Start by meeting at the bar and then take your new friend home — keep in character the entire time.

8. Make A Sex Video
Listen up, fellas, while you may be the more visual sex, women are interested in porn, too. A Stanford University study found that women reach peak arousal after just two minutes into an erotic flick. According to Men’s Health, it’s not just celebrities who want to make sex tapes — 40 percent of women want to made a homemade flick with their partners. In 2012, 28 percent of women made a sex video with their guy and in 2014, that number is expected to climb to 52 percent. So get on it while it’s hot. After you watch it make sure to hide it safely or quickly delete it.

9. Threesome Fantasy
Want to get it on with your partner and a another man or woman? Threesomes are a popular one — and they’re even more trendy this year. The LELO study revealed that this year, 20 percent of women will have had a threesome. Some say they love the rush and added stimuli, where as others worry about jealousy and feeling overwhelmed. See what women had to say about their experiences and talk it over with your partner to see if it’s right for you.

10. Have Sex In Public
According to Men’s Health, 64 percent of women want to step outside the bedroom and get frisky in public. It makes sense, the rush, risk of getting caught — it all adds to your experience. Talk about where you both feel comfortable doing the deed, whether it’s an elevator or bathroom.

11. Have Sex Outside 
Want the thrill of getting it on outside the bedroom but want to decrease your chances of actually getting caught? Embrace the elements and try doing it in a secluded area outside at night. The grass, the sand, the pool, the great outdoors is your sex playground. 

12. Have Sex On An Airplane
Been there, done that with the whole public sex thing? Take it to the next level by joining the mile-high club. According to Men’s Health, 51 percent of women want to get it on up in the air. Take off!

13. Use Sex Toys
What do women really want? Well, studies are leading us to believe it has something to do with blindfolds, handcuffs, vibrators and enhanced orgasms. According to the LELO survey, 76 percent of women want to use their toys with their partner. And ladies, don’t be embarrassed to ask about unleashing the toys. The survey found that 89 percent of men would be happy to use them. And it’s not just for your benefit? Sixty-eight percent of couples both climax during intercourse with sex toys.

14. Visit The Strip Club
Thought the nudie bar was dudes-only? Think again. According to Men’s Health, 47 percent of women want to visit a strip club with their guy. It’s exciting, sexy and you’ll be there together. Not sure if it’s your thing? Find one with a twist, like this Vegan strip club in Portland. Lap dance for two, please.

15. Dominate
Power is a rush, there’s no doubt about it. Many women dream about having a man obey their every wish, so why not unleash your inner dominatrix and try it out in the bedroom? You can do this by simply calling all the shots or make commands with whips, handcuffs, etc. Either way, you’ll be in total control and he’ll be completely devoted. Win, win.

16. Be Dominated
On the reverse, many women fantasize about being submissive and losing control to their partner. Again, think Fifty Shades Of Grey. Why is it so popular aside from Christian Grey’s charming ways? Well, actually it has to do will feeling desired. In 2009 University of Kansas study, it was discovered that “forceful submission fantasies” aren’t about humiliation but are instead “a passionate exchange with a powerful, resource-holding and attentive suitor.”

17. Teacher/Student Fantasy
There’s a reason “Hit Me Baby One More Time” was such a popular music video —and we’re going to guess it wasn’t because of Britney Spears’ vocal chords. The schoolgirl fantasy can involve dominance and spanking, but it doesn’t have to. For some, it’s sexy outfit to rip off.

18. Knight In Shining Armor Fantasy
Romantic? This is the fantasy for you. Whether he’s a fireman saving you from a smoky room, or a life guard carrying you out from the ocean — in this fantasy your guy comes to your rescue and then seduces you.

19. Put On A Strip Show
Guys will surely love this one. But for the ladies, it’s just as enjoyable. You get to put on your sexiest lingerie, take it off and tease him in the process, private lap dance included. The woman will have control and the man will be turned on and begging for more.

20. Bring Food Into The Bedroom
Ice, fruit, whipped cream, you name it, it can all enhance your sexual experience. Seduce your partner with foodplay and hit their erogenous zones in the process.

21. A Man In Uniform Fantasy
Love a man in uniform? For some, it’s the clothes and for others it’s their courage. According to Psychologist and Relationship Expert, Dr. Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D., “The ‘uniform’ may signify that the man is able to manage life’s troubles.” Have your partner dress the part and play the role.

22. Play Doctor
Sick and the only way to fully recover is with an orgasm? Doctor to the rescue.

23. Act Out Your Favorite Sex Scene From A Movie
Get into character and re-create your favorite cinematic sex scene. Whether it’s Basic Instinct or a celebrity sex tape, discuss the scene with your partner and get ready for an Academy Award-winning performance.

24. Give Each Other Sensual Massages
Remember when one woman got a happy ending massage? This year, sales of couples’ massagers increased by 82 percent. Get with it and make your partner melt with an arousing rub down. Need some pointers?

24. Try Erotic Spanking
Why do people love kinky butt-smacking? Aside from the physical pleasure, Pleasure Mechanics explains some “love erotic spanking for the taboo thrill of it.” Here’s how to talk to your partner about whipping you into shape.

25. Personal Trainer Fantasy
Hate working out? Here’s a way to enjoy it. One of you is the personal trainer and the other is the obedient trainee. For Alison Z, it’s her go-to bedroom persona, “When he asks me to get on the ground and give him 20, I’d drop to my knees and give him something else … ”

26. Hot Mechanic Fantasy
For Brianna S, hooking up with the shirtless hottie covered in grease is her bedroom fantasy. “He would take me to the back seat and get to work under the hood of something else. Let’s just say by the time we’re done … the car repairs are on him.”

27. Sex On A Boat
Want to get it on out in the middle of the ocean? Well, I’m guessing you’re a Leonardo DiCaprio fan. But even if you’re not on Titanic-like ship or a Wolf Of Wall Street yacht, there’s still an opportunity to get down and dirty when you set sail. And you’re not the only one with the nautical fantasy. Match.com’s Singles In America survey revealed that 50 percent of singles hope to have sex on boats.

28. Use Feathers
Whether you choose to be tied up or not, have your partner tease you with the light touch of a feather.

29. Try Group Sex
Certainly not everyone’s fantasy but if you enjoy threesomes and are curious about bringing more partners into the bedroom, this might be one a thrilling and liberating ones to explore.

30. Hotel Maid Fantasy
Maybe it’s the allure of being on vacation but hotel sex is exciting and liberating, which may be why the maid fantasy is a hot one. Can’t make it to the hotel? With a sexy maid costume and knock from “housekeeping”, you can re-ignite the spark in no time.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

5 Habits that will Prevent You from Getting Married

by zfortadminin DATING ADVICE, LOVE

Are you standing in your own way of love?

Marriage is one of the most important decision in the life of every person and according to relationship experts, harmless habits can make people lonely and prevent them from getting married.

Sometimes highly successful and healthy people often cannot find a real love and get married, because it’s hard to make a right decision in this complicated and artificial world.

Your inability to find a life partner may lie within you, maybe there is something within your subconsciousness that make people walk away from commitment with you.

Diana White of Womanitely lists those 5 unconscious habits:

  1. They’re afraid of reality: I think that people who’re afraid of reality will never get married if they do nothing to overcome this fear. It’s been proved that every human being is afraid of reality in a varying degree and it’s absolutely normal, because fear is a natural response to danger. But when these fears and deep-seated phobias take over, people become unable to take risks and responsibilities. A bit later these too sensitive and emotional personalities become the victims of their active imagination. I think that this weakness should be eliminated at earliest convenience. Every woman yearns to get married with emotionally strong and self-confident man. Diffident personalities should once and for all realize that life is a constant struggle. If you want to reach success in either marriage or career, you should be ready to take up the running and face harsh realities of life with you head held high.

  2. They prefer to be passive lazybones: In most cases lonely people are passive lazybones. The pursuit of happiness and self-cultivation aren’t their pair of shoes. They don’t try to take the initiative, but want to take the best things from life. If they believe that they’ll eventually get married, then their chances are limited. Nothing in this life happens eventually. Life is a dynamic thing that requires people to be extremely active and productive. If you want other successful people to notice your talents, beauty and the depth of your rich inner world, you should open up and do your best to express yourself. But how can you meet a wonderful partner if you enjoy aimless passive pastime cooped up in your house? I’m sure that every lazybones can become an interesting and attractive person, if they finally get involved in different activities and find friends with common interests.

  3. They’re too judgmental: Nowadays many people have incredibly high standards, especially when it comes to personal life and marriage. Sometimes human principles don’t let people think rationally, but provoke them to judge others for their failures and weaknesses. People who don’t take any effort to find a compromise will never get married, because a healthy marriage is always based on mutual understanding and respect. Wise people say that sometimes it’s necessary to keep silent if you’re at odds with your partner. It will help you keep your love relationship healthy and strong. Furthermore, women should keep in mind that their habit of blaming their partners for low incomes can seriously damage man’s self-esteem. As a result, deep-seated contentment in man’s heart can gradually chill the ardor of his love. By all means, try not to offend people around you and you’ll be able to get married in a quite short period of time.

  4. They dedicate their life to career: Workaholism has become one of the most difficult and actual problems of a modern world. This problem has a lot of advantages and disadvantages. Do you believe that workaholism can make you a happy person? If a successful career is the top priority in your life, then sooner or later, you’ll achieve a desirable result. All you have to do is throw yourself into this work and live for it. Unfortunately, between two stools you fall to the ground. If you choose career, then you should be ready to sacrifice your health and love. Almost all workaholics find it difficult to build and maintain happy relationships, because they work and think only about their projects 24 hours a day. They have no time for love and romance.

  5. They cry for the moon: Today both men and women have blurred vision of reality. It seems to me that ladies still believe that one day a wonderful knight in shining armor will appear and win their hearts. Men waste valuable time looking for a bachelor’s wife. It’s high time to get rid of this pointless habit and finally realize that perfect people do exist only in your imagination. The only way to find a suitable partner is to set realistic goals. You need to be sure that your dreams and desires coincide with reality. If you’re dreaming to get married with Johnny Depp by all means, then your private life is in danger.

 

Curated by Erbe
Original Article