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5 Habits that will Prevent You from Getting Married

by zfortadminin DATING ADVICE, LOVE

Are you standing in your own way of love?

Marriage is one of the most important decision in the life of every person and according to relationship experts, harmless habits can make people lonely and prevent them from getting married.

Sometimes highly successful and healthy people often cannot find a real love and get married, because it’s hard to make a right decision in this complicated and artificial world.

Your inability to find a life partner may lie within you, maybe there is something within your subconsciousness that make people walk away from commitment with you.

Diana White of Womanitely lists those 5 unconscious habits:

  1. They’re afraid of reality: I think that people who’re afraid of reality will never get married if they do nothing to overcome this fear. It’s been proved that every human being is afraid of reality in a varying degree and it’s absolutely normal, because fear is a natural response to danger. But when these fears and deep-seated phobias take over, people become unable to take risks and responsibilities. A bit later these too sensitive and emotional personalities become the victims of their active imagination. I think that this weakness should be eliminated at earliest convenience. Every woman yearns to get married with emotionally strong and self-confident man. Diffident personalities should once and for all realize that life is a constant struggle. If you want to reach success in either marriage or career, you should be ready to take up the running and face harsh realities of life with you head held high.

  2. They prefer to be passive lazybones: In most cases lonely people are passive lazybones. The pursuit of happiness and self-cultivation aren’t their pair of shoes. They don’t try to take the initiative, but want to take the best things from life. If they believe that they’ll eventually get married, then their chances are limited. Nothing in this life happens eventually. Life is a dynamic thing that requires people to be extremely active and productive. If you want other successful people to notice your talents, beauty and the depth of your rich inner world, you should open up and do your best to express yourself. But how can you meet a wonderful partner if you enjoy aimless passive pastime cooped up in your house? I’m sure that every lazybones can become an interesting and attractive person, if they finally get involved in different activities and find friends with common interests.

  3. They’re too judgmental: Nowadays many people have incredibly high standards, especially when it comes to personal life and marriage. Sometimes human principles don’t let people think rationally, but provoke them to judge others for their failures and weaknesses. People who don’t take any effort to find a compromise will never get married, because a healthy marriage is always based on mutual understanding and respect. Wise people say that sometimes it’s necessary to keep silent if you’re at odds with your partner. It will help you keep your love relationship healthy and strong. Furthermore, women should keep in mind that their habit of blaming their partners for low incomes can seriously damage man’s self-esteem. As a result, deep-seated contentment in man’s heart can gradually chill the ardor of his love. By all means, try not to offend people around you and you’ll be able to get married in a quite short period of time.

  4. They dedicate their life to career: Workaholism has become one of the most difficult and actual problems of a modern world. This problem has a lot of advantages and disadvantages. Do you believe that workaholism can make you a happy person? If a successful career is the top priority in your life, then sooner or later, you’ll achieve a desirable result. All you have to do is throw yourself into this work and live for it. Unfortunately, between two stools you fall to the ground. If you choose career, then you should be ready to sacrifice your health and love. Almost all workaholics find it difficult to build and maintain happy relationships, because they work and think only about their projects 24 hours a day. They have no time for love and romance.

  5. They cry for the moon: Today both men and women have blurred vision of reality. It seems to me that ladies still believe that one day a wonderful knight in shining armor will appear and win their hearts. Men waste valuable time looking for a bachelor’s wife. It’s high time to get rid of this pointless habit and finally realize that perfect people do exist only in your imagination. The only way to find a suitable partner is to set realistic goals. You need to be sure that your dreams and desires coincide with reality. If you’re dreaming to get married with Johnny Depp by all means, then your private life is in danger.

 

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

What I Learnt About Sex from Game of Thrones

by Jules Thompsonin Sex

A week ago, I intended to write an article about tantric sex. Then I started watching season one of Game of Thrones. Now, and until I’ve caught up on seasons two, three and four, my boyfriend will be lucky if we have any sex at all, let alone sex of the tantric variety, which, let’s face it, takes ages.
Fortunately, my complete immersion in Game of Thrones has not precluded sexual exploration, because the show is bursting with nooky. If you find yourself watching one of the rare scenes with no sexual content, all you have to do is close your eyes, count to 60, and when you open them again, you will almost certainly be confronted with a nice pair of buttocks or breasts. If the plot does not permit any of the main actors to be naked at this particular time, the producers will have festooned the scene with a handful of naked extras (if Game of Thrones teaches us one thing, it is that serious political conversation and semi-clad prostitutes are by no means mutually exclusive).

For someone who likes to talk (a lot), I’m surprisingly coy when it comes to having serious conversations about sex within my relationships. Rather than be explicit about what I want, I tend to try to prod my partners in the right direction. Sometimes this works, sometimes not; often this approach results in me, and possibly them, settling for something that’s not quite right.

But after watching Game of Thrones at my boyfriend’s side, I thought its content could be a good springboard for some more direct chat – we were watching sex, so why not talk about it?

I began with a question about the apparently favored position of men doing it in made-up medieval Westeros: ‘Do you think they did doggy style more back then, or are the producers trying to make a point?’ (We were on episode three, and Daenerys had just succumbed to her first, and not very nice, experience of marital love.) There followed a brief debate on the extent to which the sexual content of Game of Thrones was well-researched. Our conclusion: not very. But, shortly after, my question was answered by the events unfolding on screen. Daenerys, keen to make her bow-legged husband happy, learns a few tricks from her slave, and, soon she is riding Drogo like the lady she is. On top.

And he likes it!

My next question brought the topic back round to us: ‘Do you like doing it doggy style?’

‘Sometimes,’ the boy slapped and squeezed my bum, ‘when I’m feeling like a Dothraki’.

‘But what’s your favourite position,’ I asked, confident that I already knew the answer.

‘On top.’

Game-of-Thrones-sex

I wanted to be sure we were on the same page, ‘You or me?’

‘Me,’ he said.

And this was unexpected. Because everything I had observed during the two plus years of our relationship had told me otherwise. ‘But I thought you liked it best when I was on top…’

‘I do,’ he clarified, ‘at the end. But I like starting with me on top’.

This was interesting. ‘Why?’

‘Because I like doing what I want for a bit.’

This answer shouldn’t have surprised me (not least, because his reason for liking being on top is exactly the same as mine), but it did, because we hardly ever do it missionary style. I wondered why he had never mentioned this to me before, but, of course, I already knew the answer: the fact was, I had never asked.

Now I know that this reluctance to talk about the finer details of sex cannot be restricted to me. I have talked about sex on stage and at work, with friends and complete strangers. I reckon I have pretty relaxed boundaries when it comes to discussing matters of the body, but I still find it hard to say: this is what I want from you, now what do you want from me? Until now, I’ve not thought much about how to change this. When I came across articles about being vocal in bed, I would think with a touch of regret, ‘That’s just not me,’ before moving on to the next one. But what these articles are often lacking are tips on how to initiate these oh-so-personal conversations. Game of Thrones has taught me that, by talking about the sex we see on TV, we can find a more natural way into talking about our own sex lives.

Games_of_Thrones__2

Last night the boy and I had sex. He took the lead, and I got a lot of pleasure from knowing that, this time, we were doing what he wanted – not just for a bit, but the whole way through. The pace of our sex was slightly different; for once, he stayed on top throughout, and, for both of us, it felt great.

Afterwards I asked him if he knew why it had been so good.

He thought for a second, ‘Because we haven’t done it for ages?’

I shook my head, ‘Because of Game of Thrones’.

He wasn’t convinced. But I knew…

Sexual Fantasies You’ll Both Love

by zfortadminin Sex
Because a sex life filled with imagination is a better one.

Whether you’ve been together for two years or sixteen, you know how important passion is in your relationship. But did you know how key fantasies are in having a happy relationship? Being able to communicate your desires to your partner, keep things new and add imagination to sex will do wonders for you—both in the bedroom and outside.

And you’re not alone: About 95 percent of people report that they have sexual fantasies. According to a study conducted at the University of Granada, “women have pleasant romantic fantasies more frequently than men—a few times a month. Men, however, fantasize more frequently about sexcapades involving “being promiscuous”, “being a swinger”,”participating in an orgy.”

But don’t let these preferences hold you back, there are tons of fantasies to try with your significant other. Shares your desires, experiment and discover out what works best for you both as a couple.

You may surprise yourself—and get closer to your partner in the process.

1. Boss & Employee Fantasy
Just a few months ago, we told you that 56 percent of women and 61 percent of men have sexual fantasies about getting it on with coworkers in their office. So why not dress up in your work attire, get behind the desk and re-create the hot new hookup scenario that’s been on your mind? The allure of having sex with a coworker, especially your boss has to do with power—gaining it.

2. Ravishment Fantasy
According to a study from UCLA, 64 percent of women fantasize about this passionate and forceful kind of love. Why? Researchers felt that by imagining the man telling her what to do, the woman is able to give herself “permission to do the raunchy, hot sex stuff she feels a little embarrassed about, but deep down really does want to try.”

Now does the Fifty Shades Of Grey frenzy make more sense to you? YourTango expert Tammy Nelson explains that being ravished makes sense on an anatomical level for women, too. “A woman has to physically let go in order to orgasm.”

3. Storybook Lover Fantasy
This fantasy is more based on love that can be found in romance novels than the kind that takes place in the Victorian era. See how one woman’s sex dream came true when she told her boyfriend about her Clark Kent fantasy.

4. Be An Exhibitionist 
In his study of sexual fantasy, Who’s Been Sleeping in Your Head?, Brett Kahr found 19 percent of people fantasize about being watched during sex — and another 5 percent fantasize about taking it off in public. In for the risk? Put on a show. Get it on near the windows in your home or hotel room.

5. Be Voyeuristic
Does watching the show from the sidelines turn you on? Whether you’re spying on the neighbors or the couple getting it on at the beach, this fantasy is a common one. One easy way to make it happen? Go to nude beach or a sex show with your partner.

6. Watch Each Other Masturbate
Put a twist on your voyeuristic fantasy by watching your partner masturbate — or let them watch you. It will help them understand more of what you desire, and of course, it’s an instant turn on.

7. The Stranger Fantasy
Sharing a fantasy for the very first time? Here’s an easy one both men and women enjoy. There’s something sexy and mysterious about anonymity. In fact, the LELO Global Sex Survey discovered that having sex with a stranger is on the rise this year. Easy way to get in on the trend? Turn yourselves into strangers. For as long as you’ve known your partner, pretend you don’t. Different clothes, new hairstyles, different personalities, different names. Start by meeting at the bar and then take your new friend home — keep in character the entire time.

8. Make A Sex Video
Listen up, fellas, while you may be the more visual sex, women are interested in porn, too. A Stanford University study found that women reach peak arousal after just two minutes into an erotic flick. According to Men’s Health, it’s not just celebrities who want to make sex tapes — 40 percent of women want to made a homemade flick with their partners. In 2012, 28 percent of women made a sex video with their guy and in 2014, that number is expected to climb to 52 percent. So get on it while it’s hot. After you watch it make sure to hide it safely or quickly delete it.

9. Threesome Fantasy
Want to get it on with your partner and a another man or woman? Threesomes are a popular one — and they’re even more trendy this year. The LELO study revealed that this year, 20 percent of women will have had a threesome. Some say they love the rush and added stimuli, where as others worry about jealousy and feeling overwhelmed. See what women had to say about their experiences and talk it over with your partner to see if it’s right for you.

10. Have Sex In Public
According to Men’s Health, 64 percent of women want to step outside the bedroom and get frisky in public. It makes sense, the rush, risk of getting caught — it all adds to your experience. Talk about where you both feel comfortable doing the deed, whether it’s an elevator or bathroom.

11. Have Sex Outside 
Want the thrill of getting it on outside the bedroom but want to decrease your chances of actually getting caught? Embrace the elements and try doing it in a secluded area outside at night. The grass, the sand, the pool, the great outdoors is your sex playground. 

12. Have Sex On An Airplane
Been there, done that with the whole public sex thing? Take it to the next level by joining the mile-high club. According to Men’s Health, 51 percent of women want to get it on up in the air. Take off!

13. Use Sex Toys
What do women really want? Well, studies are leading us to believe it has something to do with blindfolds, handcuffs, vibrators and enhanced orgasms. According to the LELO survey, 76 percent of women want to use their toys with their partner. And ladies, don’t be embarrassed to ask about unleashing the toys. The survey found that 89 percent of men would be happy to use them. And it’s not just for your benefit? Sixty-eight percent of couples both climax during intercourse with sex toys.

14. Visit The Strip Club
Thought the nudie bar was dudes-only? Think again. According to Men’s Health, 47 percent of women want to visit a strip club with their guy. It’s exciting, sexy and you’ll be there together. Not sure if it’s your thing? Find one with a twist, like this Vegan strip club in Portland. Lap dance for two, please.

15. Dominate
Power is a rush, there’s no doubt about it. Many women dream about having a man obey their every wish, so why not unleash your inner dominatrix and try it out in the bedroom? You can do this by simply calling all the shots or make commands with whips, handcuffs, etc. Either way, you’ll be in total control and he’ll be completely devoted. Win, win.

16. Be Dominated
On the reverse, many women fantasize about being submissive and losing control to their partner. Again, think Fifty Shades Of Grey. Why is it so popular aside from Christian Grey’s charming ways? Well, actually it has to do will feeling desired. In 2009 University of Kansas study, it was discovered that “forceful submission fantasies” aren’t about humiliation but are instead “a passionate exchange with a powerful, resource-holding and attentive suitor.”

17. Teacher/Student Fantasy
There’s a reason “Hit Me Baby One More Time” was such a popular music video —and we’re going to guess it wasn’t because of Britney Spears’ vocal chords. The schoolgirl fantasy can involve dominance and spanking, but it doesn’t have to. For some, it’s sexy outfit to rip off.

18. Knight In Shining Armor Fantasy
Romantic? This is the fantasy for you. Whether he’s a fireman saving you from a smoky room, or a life guard carrying you out from the ocean — in this fantasy your guy comes to your rescue and then seduces you.

19. Put On A Strip Show
Guys will surely love this one. But for the ladies, it’s just as enjoyable. You get to put on your sexiest lingerie, take it off and tease him in the process, private lap dance included. The woman will have control and the man will be turned on and begging for more.

20. Bring Food Into The Bedroom
Ice, fruit, whipped cream, you name it, it can all enhance your sexual experience. Seduce your partner with foodplay and hit their erogenous zones in the process.

21. A Man In Uniform Fantasy
Love a man in uniform? For some, it’s the clothes and for others it’s their courage. According to Psychologist and Relationship Expert, Dr. Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D., “The ‘uniform’ may signify that the man is able to manage life’s troubles.” Have your partner dress the part and play the role.

22. Play Doctor
Sick and the only way to fully recover is with an orgasm? Doctor to the rescue.

23. Act Out Your Favorite Sex Scene From A Movie
Get into character and re-create your favorite cinematic sex scene. Whether it’s Basic Instinct or a celebrity sex tape, discuss the scene with your partner and get ready for an Academy Award-winning performance.

24. Give Each Other Sensual Massages
Remember when one woman got a happy ending massage? This year, sales of couples’ massagers increased by 82 percent. Get with it and make your partner melt with an arousing rub down. Need some pointers?

24. Try Erotic Spanking
Why do people love kinky butt-smacking? Aside from the physical pleasure, Pleasure Mechanics explains some “love erotic spanking for the taboo thrill of it.” Here’s how to talk to your partner about whipping you into shape.

25. Personal Trainer Fantasy
Hate working out? Here’s a way to enjoy it. One of you is the personal trainer and the other is the obedient trainee. For Alison Z, it’s her go-to bedroom persona, “When he asks me to get on the ground and give him 20, I’d drop to my knees and give him something else … ”

26. Hot Mechanic Fantasy
For Brianna S, hooking up with the shirtless hottie covered in grease is her bedroom fantasy. “He would take me to the back seat and get to work under the hood of something else. Let’s just say by the time we’re done … the car repairs are on him.”

27. Sex On A Boat
Want to get it on out in the middle of the ocean? Well, I’m guessing you’re a Leonardo DiCaprio fan. But even if you’re not on Titanic-like ship or a Wolf Of Wall Street yacht, there’s still an opportunity to get down and dirty when you set sail. And you’re not the only one with the nautical fantasy. Match.com’s Singles In America survey revealed that 50 percent of singles hope to have sex on boats.

28. Use Feathers
Whether you choose to be tied up or not, have your partner tease you with the light touch of a feather.

29. Try Group Sex
Certainly not everyone’s fantasy but if you enjoy threesomes and are curious about bringing more partners into the bedroom, this might be one a thrilling and liberating ones to explore.

30. Hotel Maid Fantasy
Maybe it’s the allure of being on vacation but hotel sex is exciting and liberating, which may be why the maid fantasy is a hot one. Can’t make it to the hotel? With a sexy maid costume and knock from “housekeeping”, you can re-ignite the spark in no time.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

It’s All Relative: Meeting the Parents

by Frankie Symmsin DATING ADVICE, LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

Whether you’ve been hot and heavy with your new main squeeze for a couple of months or a couple of years, meeting the parents is stressful for everyone. Your partner is hoping you get along with his entire network of relatives. His family is hoping you’re not too weird/crazy/mean to be dating him. You’re just trying to hold it all together. Luckily, with a little foresight and planning, you can ensure an easy introduction that works for everyone.

Do the homework.

If you’ve only been on a few dates with your honey, you might want to hold off on meeting Mom, Dad, and the rest of the gang until you get a sense of how he or she gets along with everyone. Do they talk and text everyday, or do they only get together at major holidays? Is there major drama with his older brother or her younger sister? Do they just not talk about long-lost Uncle Terry, or are conspiracy theories welcome? Also remember, if you’re being pressed to meet the family before you’re ready, be sure to let your partner know that you need time to get to know him or her better before you can meet everyone else.

Start small.

If your partner is set on you being his plus one at a big family wedding or this year’s multi-generational reunion, suggest that you meet a smaller group of his relatives to start out, especially if you’re shy or overwhelm easily in large groups. Meeting just your partner’s parents or siblings can give you a sense of their family dynamic without the added pressure of participating in a bouquet toss or three-legged race. Plus, you offer them the opportunity to really get to know you as a person, rather than as your date’s arm candy–it will make introductions at bigger family functions easier for everyone involved.

Set yourself up for success.

Encourage your partner to choose a meetup situation that works for everyone. After all, he knows everyone involved. Suggest avoiding passive activities, like attending a movie or sporting event, where conversation isn’t the focus. Sharing a meal, meeting for drinks, and other low-key social activities are best.

When the big day finally arrives, do everything you can to ensure a smooth introduction. Get a good night’s sleep, eat well, exercise–do whatever it is that helps you be your best self. Be polite and respectful, and follow your partner’s lead. Avoid discussing religion, politics, and other hot- button topics for the time being. Be sure to give everyone a basic picture of who you are. Tell them about your hometown, your work, and your hobbies. Keep it friendly and light–humor is your friend here.

Give honest feedback to your partner.

After you’ve both made it through the first meeting, take the time to check in with your partner. Let her know what you liked or didn’t like about the family, or ways that she behaved when she was with them that are red flags for you. If your relationship is getting serious, it’s important that decide together about what kind of family interactions are acceptable, and whether the two of you see eye-to-eye on how you fit into one another’s families. And don’t forget to emphasize the positives you experienced with his family–remembering the moments that worked alongside the moments that didn’t will go a long way toward figuring out the best way to build your relationships with family as a couple.

10 Things Women Don’t Know About Their Bodies

by zfortadminin Sex

How well do you know your body?

  • Bras fit differently depending on the stage of their Menstrual Cycle.
  • Consuming a lot of sugar can make you more prone to Yeast Infections.
  • Women permanently have full breasts, other mammals only have full breasts when they are breastfeeding.
  • Stay well hydrated can help keep your vagina lubricated it might help your vagina have a milder smell and taste.
  • Cranberries might be beneficial to your bladder. They can keep bacteria from sticking to the walls of your bladder.
  • Some women can feel when they are ovulating. It’s a pain felt only on one side in the abdominal area.
  • Wearing high heels might cause bunions. Bone growth develops on the base joint of the large toe, causing the big toe to angle in.
  • Women are born with 1 million immature eggs in their ovaries but only 300 – 500 of them will mature between the first period and menopause.

Curated by Erbe
Original Video

 

His Past Didn’t Destroy a Chance at Love

by Dan Madoniain LOVE

My name is Dan Madonia and I am in an adult relationship. Which if you don’t know me is an incredible feat. Before my girlfriend, there were things I would do for a sandwich that I wouldn’t do for someone of the fairer sex. I wasn’t exactly sensitive to those around me, a girl once broke up with me and I didn’t even know we were dating (which is the ultimate situation of not knowing what you got until its gone.)

My parents weren’t the best of examples either, my father is a touring professional comedian who my mother only had sex with ONCE and didn’t let me know he was the father until I was twelve years old. I wouldn’t say that I have daddy issues though; the presence of my mother screwed me up way more than the absence of my father. My mother is a retired adult entertainer with more credits than I can list. Which is a hard nut for a lot of people to swallow. Most people have trouble coming to grips with the fact that their parents had even had sex once, I had to come grips with that’s how my toys were paid for. That will make you think twice before asking for stuff for Christmas. I wasn’t completely left without a father figure though, my mom did hook up with her acid dealer when I was two years old and they embarked on what can only be explained as a twenty-year case of Stockholm syndrome. Who the actual hostage was though, is still up for interpretation.

With that tremendous backing cast. you are ultimately going to end up a little screwed up and come up with a few twisted theories on what love and relationships are like. I grew up believing that relationships were like driving in the carpool lane.

1.) You can’t do it alone,

2.) There are heavy fines for getting in and out at the wrong time and

3.) Once you are in it you are sitting there watching everyone else go by, thinking “What the hell? This was supposed to be better.”

Thinking like this is not the best way to end up running down the aisle. But here I am, in an adult relationship with everything that comes complete in the adult relationship do-it-yourself kit like a dog, decorative soap and re-runs of Everybody Loves Raymond. How does that happen?

Get over it.

It is the answer for everything. Get over it. Its not easy and I know this but in order for any relationship to succeed both people are going to have things to get over. For my girlfriend and me it was my past thoughts but for you it might be someone’s sleep apnea machine, someone’s technology obsession, someone’s mean Doberman or someone’s Doberman-like mother. Of course you aren’t going to be able to get over everything instantly but that is what a relationship is about, bringing two perspectives together and making each of yourselves better. There are going to be fights and bumps in the road but if you truly love one another you will be able to see from your partner’s eyes and get through your problems. For example, earlier this week my girlfriend was mad at me because I am immature, but all at the same time I was mad at her because she isn’t a power ranger…In the end we both had to get over it.

Love at First Sight May Actually Be True

by zfortadminin LOVE

The love of your life may be near you. All you have to do is look.

Love at first sight has often been considered a myth or a joke, even though many Americans believe in it. The 2014 Singles in America survey found that 59 percent of men and 49 percent of women believe in love at first sight. More than that, 41 percent of men and 29 percent of women say they have experienced it.

But it’s not just make believe. Experts told The Wall Street Journal this week that love at first sight is real and that humans are hardwired to experience it.

“Scientists say we are genetically wired for the possibility of love at first sight, but why it happens to some people and not others is largely a matter of timing and self-assurance,” WSJ’s Elizabeth Bernstein wrote.

Dr. Arthur Aron of Stony Brook University told Bernstein that people can fall in love instantly when there’s a willingness to open up and fall for another person. People also fall in love when they feel safe around someone and they feel commitment (which can happen on a first date, or down the road), Aron told WSJ.

“One day the person smiled at them, and at that moment they fell in love because it was perceived as safe,” Aron told WSJ. “You may be more likely to fall in love quickly if you are ready.”

When these feelings are strong enough, romantic love — one of our three emotional systems that encourages us to mate — triggers dopamine to release in the brain, which activates our reward system and makes us even more interested in the person we desire, Bernstein wrote. This essentially creates love at first sight.

Still, there’s little research about love at first sight to fully prove its existence, so experts advise caution. Elliot D. Cohen, Ph.D., wrote for Psychology Today that true love requires work, and that people shouldn’t act on their gut alone when falling for someone.

Youth Lifestyle, Summer Vacations, Dating, Love, Happiness Conce

“Indeed, love takes time to cultivate, and in love at first acquaintance there is simply not enough time for any of the activities of loving to be brought to fruition,” Cohen wrote.

Cohen said the phrase “love at first sight” should be replaced with “falling in love at first acquaintance” since it’s more about your brain falling for the person you meet, rather than you being consumed by everlasting love at just a glance.

“Of course, things may change. After all, people do fall in and out of love; and obviously some people confuse mere sexual attraction with love and never really fall in love,” Cohen wrote. “But loving, as an intimate human activity of deep caring does have a beginning, and it can begin at first acquaintance as well as on the second or the third, and even several years down the road.”

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Hottest Sex Positions for Your Orgasm

by zfortadminin Sex

When it comes to answering questions about sexual pleasure, Dr. Lori Buckley of the Sinclair Institute knows it all. This time around she discusses the G-Spot and the best sex position to orgasm.

1. What position is best for female orgasm

2. And does the G Spot really exist?

Those are both really great questions. Let me answer your first one. The best position for female orgasm for most women is being on top. Being on top puts you in complete control. You get to control the pressure, the depth, the pace, everything that you need to be able to have as much pleasure as you can to experience an orgasm.

It also puts you in a position to rub your clitoris on your partner’s body, which is a great way to have an orgasm because a majority of women do actually
need that direct clitoral stimulation. So give that one a try.

The second question is a bit controversial, the g-spot. You know, I think that the name is misleading; it’s not really spot per se it’s an area inside of our vagina that can for many women be extremely pleasurable.

So it’s really something that you need to find out for yourself so do some exploration. Try it yourself or ask your partner to do it. It’s in the front upper part of your vagina and you know, just use a couple of fingers and just put some pretty good pressure on that area and see how it feels for you. Again, not all women enjoy that kind of stimulation but the women who do say it’s the best so give it a try!

8 Secrets of Sexually Satisfied Couples

by zfortadminin Sex

1. THEY SCHEDULE SEX.

What? Put “Have sex” on your calendar? “Absolutely!” say couples happy with their sex lives. Rather than killing the mood with a lack of spontaneity, scheduling sex tends to “take away all the very real excuses I could otherwise use, like that I’m exhausted after working and getting the kids to bed,” says Holly Jenkins,* who has been married for two years and has three boys under the age of 10. “For couples in long-term relationships, planning a romantic interlude leads to a higher-quality, more enjoyable sexual experience,” says Victoria Zdrok Wilson, JD, PhD, who cowrote The 30-Day Sex Solution with her husband, John Wilson. Instead of thinking of calendar sex as unromantic, view it instead as a delicious form of foreplay. Send each other anticipatory texts, plan what you’ll wear (or not), and so on.

2. THEY LOCK THE BEDROOM DOOR.

This little bit of hardware is essential in a home with children, says Jennifer Flanders, who’s been married 24 years and has 12 children, ranging in age from 11 months to 23 years. She jokes that whenever the family moves to a new home, a new lock on the master bedroom tops the to-do list. Even if you don’t have a physical lock, creating a sense of boundaries is key, says Sacha Mohammed—married 14 years, with 7 children. “I always made sure the children were put to bed on time when they were little so my husband and I could have our time together; the kids were also taught to always knock to announce their presence.” According to Dr. Zdrok Wilson, “each couple needs to evaluate their environment and determine the optimal conditions for great sex.” For some, a lock may be enough to create an adults-only barrier. Others may need to go further to create a sensual, relaxing haven in their bedroom by banning electronic gadgets, computers and TVs, not to mention kids and their toys!

3. THEY HAVE PERFECTED THE QUICKIE.

During certain critical periods in a marriage––particularly when you’re new parents––time and energy are both at a premium. Couples who maintain a good sex life during these challenging times have learned to make the quickie something that’s good for both of them. If you’ve avoided speedy sex sessions in the past because it takes time for you to physically get in the mood, don’t underestimate the power of the mind-body connection. Try thinking of a place or time when the sex was amazing, and use it like a meditation, taking yourself back there in your mind, says Sharon Gilchrest O’Neill, marriage and family therapist and author of A Short Guide to a Happy Marriage. And “don’t be afraid of fantasizing,” she adds, because if you can figure out how to use 20 minutes to your advantage, you can avoid dry spells in your sex life.

Man Waiting In Bed

4. THEY EXPERIMENT.

“Be open to different ways of expressing yourself sexually,” says Jenkins. “As with music, people tend to like a mix of the predictable and unexpected.” You have to find the right balance between being adventurous and being conventional: Don’t be so conventional that it’s boring. But don’t be so adventurous that you lose your intimacy–or level of comfort. This could mean everything from positions to the overall attitude you bring to the intimate encounter. Sexual ruts––always doing it on a certain day, at a certain time, in a certain room––can breed boredom. Something as simple as mixing it up on the living room floor or in the shower can add some much-needed spice. Or get out of the house entirely. “Many couples report that they have the best sex when they’re not at home,” says Dr. Zdrok Wilson. “I call it ‘the dirty little motel’ syndrome.” And it doesn’t have to be limited to when you’re on vacation—hire a babysitter or drop the kids off at their grandparents’ house every once in a while so the two of you can book a room even if it’s only for a couple of hours.

5. THEY KEEP COMMUNICATING.

Mohammed says that “excellent communication skills” is the top reason she and her husband continue to enjoy a satisfying sex life. “Before we got married, my husband told me we would talk about everything, and he meant it,” she says. There’s no other way to understand what your partner wants, needs or enjoys other than talking. And don’t make assumptions: You may be surprised to learn that what you thought was foolproof doesn’t really float his boat anymore, says Gilchrest O’Neill. “Save those conversations for when you’re not having sex, though in the actual moment, speak up about small adjustments your partner can make to increase enjoyment.”

6. THEY AVOID OR REJECT EXCUSES.

“Many of the excuses other couples use to avoid sex––like headaches, stress, tiredness or arguments––are some of the exact same reasons we choose to make sex a priority,” says Flanders. “Sex relieves pain, reduces stress, promotes better sleep and motivates us to settle our disagreements quickly.” Beware of letting excuses take on a life of their own, because, to use one example, the kids aren’t needy babies forever, and before you know it sex is so far on the back burner it’s fallen completely off the stove. “Brainstorm solutions to the things that get in the way of having sex,” suggests Gilchrest O’Neill. Tired? Go to bed earlier. Not enough time? Get creative with the hours or minutes you do have. However, if the root of your excuses isn’t fixable with practical changes (for example, if there are underlying problems or resentments), consider seeing a therapist.

7. THEY TRUST EACH OTHER.

Jenkins cites her and her husband’s adventurous sex life, but is quick to add that for adventurousness to exist, it has to be preceded by trust. “Great sex is a reflection of the overall rapport and communication you have in other rooms of the house. To have trust with your spouse, you have to always try to build each other up outside the bedroom. If you say or do something critical or disrespectful to your partner during the day, why would he want to be naked and try something new with you later that evening?” she asks. Trust, comfort and ease with each other happens when you engage in active listening, says Dr. Zdrok Wilson. “You have to work on listening to your partner in an active, empathetic way and reciprocate by confiding in him, and baring your own feelings,” she says. Once you two feel like allies—not adversaries—your sex life will feel more honest and, hopefully, a lot hotter!

8. THEY CARE ABOUT THEIR APPEARANCE AND HEALTH.

“We still take pride in how we look for each other,” says Mohammed. Certainly staying in shape and paying attention to appearance helps you and your partner maintain the mood. But it’s not just about pleasing your partner’s eye; taking care of yourself makes you feel good about yourself. Not only that, but your libido is dependent on your overall health. “When you feel unhealthy, tired, ill or lacking in energy, you’re not likely to be motivated to engage in regular sexual activity,” says Dr. Zdrok Wilson. So, hit the gym, put on some makeup or dress up even if you’re not going anywhere. Do whatever makes you feel sexy and he’s guaranteed to notice.

 

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

The 9 Best Times to Have Sex

by zfortadminin Sex

Have better orgasms, make love for longer and more with some smart scheduling

Your Sensual Schedule

Timing is important for, say, landing a dream job or catching a sale. But here’s some intimate info: It’s also crucial when it comes to sex! You’ve probably heard that the ideal time of the month to get pregnant is when you’re ovulating (usually in the middle of your menstrual cycle,between day 11 and 21, depending on the person), but you may not realize that certain times of the day, month and year are best for other sexual goals. For a more satisfying sex life, here’s when to get busy if you…

1. …want an amazing orgasm.

This may sound counterintuitive, but the day you’re most likely to experience a mind-bending orgasm is actually the day before you get your period, according to Laurie Watson, a sex therapist and couples counselor in Raleigh, NC, and author of Wanting Sex Again. “When blood accumulation makes your uterus heavy, contractions are more perceptible during orgasm, and your labial and clitoral tissue tends to be more sensitive when you retain fluids,” says Watson. “Convince yourself to give sex a shot, even if you’re feeling grouchy and uncomfortable, because it may cheer you right up,” she suggests.

2. …want sex to last longer.

The top time is between Christmas and New Year’s Day, when you and your husband are likely out of the office. “When you have no work pressures and are spending many hours with your mate, it’s easier to have luxurious, unhurried sex that lasts and lasts,” says Terence Watts, a psychotherapist based in the U.K. who specializes in psychosexual problems. “A slow build-up is key. Flirt with your husband in the morning by whispering in his ear, and then make lots of eye contact with him during meals.”

3. …want to drive your guy wild.

As you’ve likely noticed, men often wake up with erections, says Amy Levine, a sexologist based in New York City and the founder of IgniteYourPleasure.com. So instead of making him wait all day, set your alarm for 10 minutes earlier on a work day and have a quickie first thing in the morning. You might enjoy it more, too. “As women age, they tend to get more tired at night, so evening sex is less desirable,” says Watson. In other words, you have more energy for a crack-of-dawn romp than a late-night one.

4. …want to relieve pain.

If you can get past the ick factor, making love while you’re on your period can actually reduce uncomfortable cramps, says Levine. “It may be because an orgasm causes uterine contractions, which ease pain, and your body releases the hormone oxytocin and the neurotransmitter dopamine, which make you feel happy and relaxed.” If you can expect sex when Aunt Flo shows, you just may look forward to your time of month!

Sexy Couple

5. …want to feel confident in bed.

Get it on after you’ve broken a sweat. A study from the University of Florida found that people who exercise without losing fat or gaining strength or endurance feel just as much body confidence as those who get fitter. So even if you don’t look different from your workout, you think you do, according to the research. That improved self-esteemcould make you freer between the sheets. Maybe you’ll even leave the lights on!

6. …want to have crazy, no-holds-barred sex.

Plan an unforgettable evening during a steamy time of year, like July or August in most parts of the country, because you’ll have more opportunities to get it on discreetly outside, like in your yard or on your roof, says Levine. Being outdoors means you’ve already left your comfort zone, so you may be more likely to think outside the box. “Plus, sunshine boosts serotonin in the brain, which improves your mood, so you may enjoy yourself more,” says Tammy Nelson, PhD, a sex and relationship expert in New Haven, CT, and author of Getting the Sex You Want.

7. …are too busy.

Schedule a weekend date night when you don’t have a work commitment and are less exhausted. You don’t even have to leave the house! Put on some mellow music, order in and take a breather together from the hectic week to enjoy each other’s company. Consider asking a friend or relative to take the kids out—the more romantic and relaxed the environment, the more you set the stage for amazing sex. “Focus on quality over quantity,” recommends Watts.

8. …want to get out of a sexual rut.

The longer you’ve been with your partner, the harder it is to be creative in the bedroom. And missionary style every Saturday night can get a little boring. To mix things up, set an alarm for 3 A.M. and straddle your spouse in the middle of the night, recommends Levine. We’re pretty sure he won’t mind being woken up.

9. …want to survive wedding season.

Summertime means party time—especially with weddings. These six-hour affairs are romantic and fun, but also draining. “By the time a wedding’s over, couples come home feeling too full, too drunk or too tired, and those factors can sabotage sex,” says Watson. If your calendar’s chock full of nuptials, it may be tough to get action. Why wait until midnight? Fool around before you leave for the event, and you’ll be glowing on the dance floor all night.

 

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

10 Things Men Wish Women Knew about Sex and Love

by zfortadminin LOVE, Sex

Get an inside look in to a Guy’s mind.

When the issue on sex and love comes up in relationships, many women think that men know everything there is to know about it.

But most men say women absolutely have no clue about the things they know and don’t know.

Krystle Crossman of Healthy Black Woman lists 10 things men wish women knew and how  they feel about certain things in the bedroom.

  1. Men are highly responsive to praise. They are self-conscious and have insecurities just like women about their bodies and about their skills. Compliment your man about what he does well and when he looks good.

  2. Men are afraid of intimacy, but only because it is so taboo for men! Until they reach school age they are very affectionate, but then societal pressure rears its ugly head and they feel that being intimate is something that only girls should be doing. They are also afraid of it because they want intimacy so much.

  3. They really do appreciate sex for what it is. Every now and then try to let him have a little fun and have his way with you. Let yourself be ravished. He will thank you for it.

  4. Men have many different erogenous zones, not just the penis. Touch his chest, or inside of his thighs. Kiss his neck. Explore…don’t just focus on one body part.

  5. They enjoy fantasies but are often afraid that they are going to be judged or scorned for theirs. Try one out with him to show him you have a wild side too.
    Marriage Having Erotic Moment

  6. They enjoy dirty talk. This one should be no surprise!

  7. Honesty is the best policy. They don’t want you to lie and say it was the best you ever had if it wasn’t. They want to know how to make things better so that you are satisfied.

  8. Men enjoy the chase before making it to the bedroom. Let them take you out for a night on the town. Let them be romantic. This will make things more intimate when you finally get down to it.

  9. Them watching pornography does not mean that they are a sex addict. Try discussing it with them seriously to find out what it is about porno that turns them on or off.

  10. Men do tend to want sex all the time, but not for the reason you may think. Being intimate with a partner is a way to connect and escape the pressures of life.

 

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Dating Rules for the 21st Century

by Lorraine Rockin DATING ADVICE, LOVE

Does anybody actually date any more? It seems that dating rules may be an outmoded concept, but perhaps they shouldn’t be. Even if the way people meet in the electronic era may be quite different from 50 years ago, people still do meet, hang out and eventually pair up.

In 2012 a national survey published by a CDC affiliate concluded that though “people are marrying for the first time at older ages, and many adults co-habit with a partner”. In 2006–2010, the probability of first marriage by age 25 was still 44% for women ( a decrease of 25% from 1995) and by age 35 the probability of first marriage was 78% , by age 40 there was no significant change.

It would seem obvious that people are still finding love, and most of them still date, hang out or hook-up first.

Since it would seem that more people live together before marriage, and eventually marry (not necessarily the person they lived with, according to the data), does this mean that people are more sophisticated in their dating habits, or just more choosy? The third option is that people are just taking longer to grow up and take on adult responsibilities.

Updating the guidelines for how to meet a partner – and let’s face it, that’s what we are doing, however long it may last – probably has more to do with how we meet that when.

A picture of a romantic couple on a date in Gdansk

In the recent past, probably still in your parents’ generation, most people met through work, friends or family. Someone actually knew the person you met. (Of course there have always been casual hook-ups in bars or at parties, but these encounters were less likely to produce an actual date!). In the electronic age people have a much wider menu of options, in addition to the traditional ones, all of these options still need some navigating, and a road map (or GPS) is always useful.

Many cautionary tales have been written already on being careful how we meet through electronic media, and I won’t re-state them here. In fact, these rules fall into some logical groups:

  • Always find out who you are really speaking to;
  • Meet first in a public place;
  • Be yourself, but be sparing with personal information.

These guidelines actually make logical sense no matter how you meet!

Now that we’ve met, how do we present ourselves? What are the guidelines for behaviour in the modern era? Dating rules for previous generations had people putting on their very best selves, and presenting a persona that probably did not exist at all. I would suggest that this is actually a recipe for failure. As the song lyric goes “be yourself”, not every date turns into a romance, but could be the possibility of a new friendship.

Trying to find out how compatible you are, without sounding like you are interviewing for a mate, can be tricky. Using a tactic from the business world may help here. Active listening, as opposed to just hearing, means paying attention to what the person is saying, and giving gentle prompts, to keep them talking. I am a natural blabbermouth, so I know how hard this can be for some of us. Sure the other party wants to know about you, but dole it out in small doses, they don’t need to know everything on the first date.

It has been said that charismatic personalities have a knack of making the other person feel fascinating, as though they are the only person in the room. They do this largely through making eye contact (not staring, that just creepy!) and paying attention, i.e. Active Listening!

This also means that you learn a lot more about the other person, and they will probably find you fascinating too. Hopefully they will also listen when its your turn, but if they don’t that will give you some valuable insights into their personality as well.

Our parents had rules about how far to “go” on dates. Though this may seem old-fashioned it had it’s merits. Getting to know someone before falling into bed with them has been shown to lead to a better relationship. Introducing sex into the equation too soon may lead to the intimacy taking over. Its not about prudery, but caution. If the sex is mind-blowing, then that’s probably all you will do! ( Many couples have found that when good sex wanes there isn’t anything else.) If the encounter is less than stellar it will probably lead to a quick end to any kind of relationship, and you may lose the opportunity to make a new friend.

Making a new friend may sound like a boring goal for dating, but it has been shown that having friends, of both genders, leads to a happier and more fulfilling life. Keeping the initial dates light and friendly takes the “shopping for a mate” aspect out of the way, and may actually lead to a better experience.

Continuing with that theme, what do you do on a first date? Experts suggest that you meet for coffee, or at best lunch. This places fewer expectations on both parties, and limits the amount of time you spend together. Most people find that you know almost immediately if there is a reason to meet again. Trust your instincts, this is the theory on which Speed-Dating is based. In the business world it is said that you make a decision about a candidate in the first six seconds! That may be extreme, not everyone is a star right out of the gate.

So who pays? Accoring to old-fashioned etiquette, s/he who made the invitation should pay. Of course if you are just meeting for coffee or lunch it probably isn’t a big question. After the first date I would suggest you do what you would do with a friend of the same gender, split the check, or offer to pay – and “you can get it next time”.

As far as continuing the relationship, how about deciding if there is going to be a next time, at the time? I may be naive, but honesty really is the best policy. If you just didn’t hit it off, don’t agree to meet again, and guys, please, drop the “I’ll call you” line if you don’t mean it! A simple , “it was a pleasure to meet you, see you around” should get the message across.

References: