zfortadmin, Author at Love TV - Page 9 of 50

Author: zfortadmin

The Powerful Benefits Of Unconditional Love For You & Your Lover

by zfortadminin LOVE

How much importance do you put on unconditional love in your relationship?

Tina Turner once famously sang the question “what’s love got to do with it?” and followed her inquiry by letting us all know that love is a second hand emotion. To add insult to loves injury, she then wondered why we need hearts when hearts can be broken. Good question, Tina. Luckily we have five YourTango experts to help answer the question. So, what’s love got to do with it? Relationship expert Aja Duncan is joined by Michelle Maliniak, Marie Kane, Chrisi Santana, and Suzann O’Koon to help answers Tina’s question. Hint: the answer is “everything”.

To start, Maliniak suggests that “love” is a subjective term. “When we love, does it mean we have to like everything they do? Does it mean we never get angry or disappointed at the things they do? What does it mean to love unconditionally? It means we accept them exactly as they are. We know what we can and can not expect of them and love them anyway. It doesn’t mean we give them everything they want or tolerate frightening or mean behavior — it means we protect ourselves and forgive them.”

Santana adds that when you love someone unconditionally, you do nice things for them, and the feelings of joy spread from the recipient to the giver (that’s you!) The benefits are not only emotional but physical as well. “Isn’t it a great feeling when you do something for someone? Maybe you cooked dinner for your partner who had to work late, or spent the time listening without judgment to a friend after they had a bad breakup. Doing things for others helps with our own stress levels. Focusing on a positive action for someone else makes us feel good about ourselves. Lowered stress levels benefit not only our heart (studies have shown that love can reduce cholesterol levels, which lowers your chance of heart attack), but our whole body and mind as well.”

Humans are also social creatures. We need to interact with others. Santana adds that “Showing unconditional love for others deepens our relationships. On the flip side, receiving love or help from friends and strangers can make us feel gratitude, and being grateful leads to happiness and overall good mental health.”

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Changing Sexual Genders with All Eyes On You

by zfortadminin Body, Wellness

Speaking publicly for the first time since completing gender transition, Caitlyn Jenner compares her emotional two-day photo shoot with Annie Leibovitz for the July cover of Vanity Fair to winning the gold medal for the decathlon at the 1976 Olympics. She tells Pulitzer Prize–winning V.F.contributing editor and author of Friday Night Lights Buzz Bissinger, “That was a good day, but the last couple of days were better. . . . This shoot was about my life and who I am as a person. It’s not about the fanfare, it’s not about people cheering in the stadium, it’s not about going down the street and everybody giving you ‘that a boy, Bruce,’ pat on the back, O.K. This is about your life.”

Jenner tells Bissinger about how she suffered a panic attack the day after undergoing 10-hour facial-feminization surgery on March 15—a procedure she believed would take 5 hours. (Bissinger reveals that Jenner has not had genital surgery.) She recalls thinking, “What did I just do? What did I just do to myself?” A counselor from the Los Angeles Gender Center came to the house so Jenner could talk to a professional, and assured her that such reactions were often induced by pain medication, and that second-guessing was human and temporary.

Jenner tells Bissinger the thought has since passed and not come back: “If I was lying on my deathbed and I had kept this secret and never ever did anything about it, I would be lying there saying, ‘You just blew your entire life. You never dealt with yourself,’ and I don’t want that to happen.”

Bissinger spent hundreds of hours with the man the world knew as Bruce Jenner over a period of three months, and then countless hours with Caitlyn, also attending the photo shoot with Leibovitz at Jenner’s Malibu home.
caitlyn-jenner

Bissinger apologizes to Jenner for repeated pronoun confusion and asks whether she is sensitive about it. “I don’t really get hung up,” she tells him. “A guy came in the other day and I was fully dressed—it’s just habit, I said, ‘Hi, Bruce here,’ and I went, Oh fuck, it ain’t Bruce, I was screwing up doing it.”

Bissinger speaks extensively with Jenner’s four children from his first two marriages—Burt, 36, and Cassandra, 34, with first wife Chrystie, and Brandon, 33, and Brody, 31, with second wife Linda—and describes an insensitive father who had been absent for years at a time. Jenner openly acknowledges mistakes made with them as Bruce, and expresses genuine regret. Says Burt, “I have high hopes that Caitlyn is a better person than Bruce. I’m very much looking forward to that.”

For the Jenner children, the issue of the transition has become a non-issue. They were already aware of their father’s identity as a woman when he told them individually about the transition—Burt and Cassandra had learned from their mother roughly 20 years earlier, when they were 13 and 11; Brandon had assumed it because of the obvious physical changes he had observed; and Brody was told by his mother when he was 29. They tell Bissinger they feel both happiness for their father and inspiration at Jenner’s bravery, and they all still see their dad as their dad regardless of any gender label. Brandon said he was a little taken aback when he saw Caitlyn for the first time after surgery and she pulled her top up to reveal her new breasts. “Whoa, I’m still your son,” he reminded her.

As part of the transition, Jenner started hosting small gatherings called “girls’ nights” with wine and food where Jenner could dress as desired and feel natural in the presence of women, and it was there that her daughter Cassandra met Caitlyn for the first time. “I was just nervous that I wouldn’t make her feel comfortable,” Cassandra tells Bissinger. “I was worried I wouldn’t say the right things or act the right way or seem relaxed.” But almost all of it melted away when she got there. “We talked more than we ever have. We could just be girls together.”

Despite the renewed relationship with their father, the Jenner children have refused to participate in Caitlyn’s docu-series for the E! network, set to debut this summer, forgoing financial gain in favor of preserving their father’s legacy. Initially, Caitlyn was “terribly disappointed and terribly hurt,” but has come to accept their decision. For her part, Caitlyn is prepared for the criticism that it’s a publicity stunt: “‘Oh, she’s doing a stupid reality show. She’s doing it for the money. She’s doing this, she’s doing that.’ I’m not doing it for money. I’m doing it to help my soul and help other people. If I can make a dollar, I certainly am not stupid. [I have] house payments and all that kind of stuff. I will never make an excuse for something like that. Yeah, this is a business. You don’t go out and change your gender for a television show. O.K., it ain’t happening. I don’t care who you are.”

jenner5

Jenner tells Bissinger that since the Diane Sawyer interview aired “it’s exciting to go to the mailbox, because I get letters every day from all of these people from all over the world.” One of them was addressed “Bruce Jenner, Malibu, California,” as if she had become her own country.

Bissinger writes that Caitlyn seems happy and relaxed, with a sense of purpose and confidence. She can’t wait when she goes out now to tell the paparazzi to “make sure it’s a good shot,” instead of asking patrons to help shield her from them in the parking lot of the local Starbucks. She looks forward to more girls’ nights “where everybody is treating you the same way. You can talk about anything you want to talk about. You can talk about outfits. You can talk about hair and makeup, anything you want. It becomes not a big deal.” She says that on the E! series she will focus on ways of lowering the rates of suicide and attempted suicide in the transgender community, among other issues.

Jenner tells Bissinger that Bruce was “always telling lies.” (She even describes doing public appearances after winning the gold medal, where “underneath my suit I have a bra and panty hose and this and that and thinking to myself, They know nothing about me. . . . Little did they know I was totally empty inside.”) Caitlyn, she says, “doesn’t have any lies.”

“I’m not doing this to be interesting. I’m doing this to live,” Jenner tells Bissinger. She then jokes, “I’m not doing this so I can hit it off the women’s tee,” but she does tell Bissinger that on her E! show she plans to do a segment in which she sees if she can still hit a golf ball 300 yards off the tee, even with her very ample breasts.

Also in the story, Bissinger speaks at length with Jenner’s three ex-wives (including Kris about what she knew and when she knew it); with Jenner’s 89-year-old mother, Esther, about the possible motives behind her son’s transition; and with Jenner about how she was moved by Monica Lewinsky’s TED talk, and how she reacted to the Diane Sawyer interview.

 

Curated by Karinna
Original Article

The Secret to Desire in a Long-Term Relationship

by zfortadminin Watch

In long-term relationships, we often expect our beloved to be both best friend and erotic partner. But as Esther Perel argues, good and committed sex draws on two conflicting needs: our need for security and our need for surprise. So how do you sustain desire? With wit and eloquence, Perel lets us in on the mystery of erotic intelligence.

Curated by Erbe
Original Source

Why We Love, Why We Cheat

by zfortadminin RELATIONSHIPS

Anthropologist Helen Fisher takes on a tricky topic – love – and explains its evolution, its biochemical foundations and its social importance. She closes with a warning about the potential disaster inherent in antidepressant abuse.

4 Passionate Ways To Get Your Man BEGGING For More

by zfortadminin Sex

We love these spicy tips!

With these tips, you’ll have him begging for more.

Learning how to satisfy your man sexually is a lot easier than you think. You don’t need to be a porn star or a some sort of sex crazed nymphomaniac to make sure that you give him a good time. In this article I want to teach you how to have sex to give your man the most pleasure he’s ever had in his life. (If you want to learn my best oral sex tips and techniques, you’ll find them in this powerful video.)

1. Find Out His Kinks, Fantasies And Fetishes

Every guy has certain things that are massive turn ons for them. It could be when you wear an extra tight pair of jeans or a pair of sexy heels or that top that reveals your cleavage more than usual. But with that being said, it could perhaps be something a little more wild. He might love the idea of seeing you with another woman or even another man. Or maybe he really wants to try anal sex with you. Or maybe he has a thing for feet.

If you are serious about satisfying your man sexually in the bedroom, then the most powerful thing that you can do is find out what his kinks, fantasies and fetishes are and then do them with him. Doing them with your man is actually the easy part. Finding them out and getting your man to open up is the hard part. Often your man may be slightly embarrassed or reluctant to talk about them with you. To get him to relax and open up to you is not that easy unfortunately.

One way to approach it is to tell him some of yours first. Being the first to share is a great way to get him to reciprocate. Another way is to just say that you want to try lots of different things with him. As you explain to your man each thing that you want to try with him, try to judge his reaction. Obviously he is going to look more keen and excited about certain ideas than others.

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Are You Falling in Love or Lust?

by zfortadminin LOVE

Are you tripping into infatuation or allowing time for real love to develop? Infatuation involves a projection of own needs, hopes, and dreams. While real love cares about the well being of others and not just their own desires.

How To Remain ‘Sexy’ For Life

by zfortadminin Body, SEX TIPS, Wellness

These simple tips will keep you healthy and feeling flirty!

Don’t let your age keep you from experiencing the pleasures of intimacy. Although libido may lessen as you age, here’s how to feel sexy for a lifetime.

As you grow older, it’s easy to lose that spark in the bedroom. Boredom, loss of adventurousness, physical ailments, and other problems can challenge even the healthiest of relationships over time, causing a loss of libido and creating emotional distance. But keeping intimacy alive can have profound effects on your life.

Research shows that healthy people have better sex lives. Fit people enjoy sex more and have lower instances of sexual dysfunction that can impair their love life. If you’re experiencing a loss of intimacy, there are steps you can take to reclaim it. Here’s how to feel sexy again.

Intimacy Tip No. 1: Stay Healthy

To keep your libido revved for lovemaking you should: Exercise regularly. Your arousal depends in large part on how well blood flows through your body. Regular aerobic exercise helps keep the heart pumping and the blood flowing.

Eat right. Eat a diet low in fats and sugars and high in fiber and good nutrition. Eat lots of fruits and vegetables, plenty of whole grains, and a good daily amount of low-fat dairy products. Protein should come in the form of fish, poultry, and lean meats.

Sleep well. Good, healthy sleep gives your body the chance to refresh and recuperate. Stop bad habits. Alcohol and tobacco can harm sexual function and can negatively affect your overall health.

Relaxing In Luxury Bath.

Communicate

Partners with a satisfying sex life talk to one another; those with an unsatisfying one need to talk to one another.

Voice your concerns. Tell your partner about changes in your body that worry you along with any other issues that bother you about your sex life.

Describe what makes you feel good. Your partner can’t satisfy you if he doesn’t know what you desire. Don’t criticize. Focus on what he’s doing right, rather than pointing out the things he’s doing wrong. Talk at the right time. During lovemaking is the right time for discussing what you like and enjoy. Save your concerns, worries, and more negative issues for outside the bedroom.

Improve Your Own Game

Try these ways to be a better lover: Think about sex. The brain is an important — some say the most important — sexual organ. Get your head in the game by thinking about your fantasies and desires more often. Write down your sexual fantasies and share them with your partner.

Touch. Maintaining physical affection is critical to keeping a love life happy and frisky. Cuddle, hug, kiss, and hold hands often, even if you’re tired or not in the mood for sex. During lovemaking, experiment with touching your partner in ways that please and arouse him.

Educate yourself. There are plenty of self-help books available that will give you tips on improving your sexual technique.

Passion Portrait Of Couple In Love

Intimacy Tip No. 4: Have Fun

Don’t forget that sex is supposed to be an enjoyable experience. Be sure to have fun in the bedroom (and elsewhere) by: Trying out different sexual positions. The tried-and-true missionary position can become stale. Experiment with new positions.

Taking a break from intercourse. Try pleasing each other with oral sex, manual sex, massage, and caressing. Being inventive. Leave love notes. Plan an erotic getaway. Try making love at different times of the day. Read a love poem. Craft a scene that appeals to all five senses. Try having sex in different locations.

Most importantly, have sex and enjoy intimacy on a regular basis with your partner.

 

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Is Your Man Giving Oral Sex His Best?

by zfortadminin Sex

This writer has an interesting take on oral sex! 

I once dated a guy who refused to go down on me. “I just don’t like the way it tastes,” was his excuse. As if his dick tasted like an ice cream cone. I joke about it now, but at the time I didn’t find it very funny. My boyfriend’s aversion to oral sex made me newly insecure about that part of my body, and the few times I did convince him to go down on me, I was too in my own head to enjoy it, constantly worrying that he was grossed out or just doing it out of obligation. Friends I confided in at the time suggested I stop giving him blow jobs, to give him a taste of his own medicine. But since I enjoy giving pleasure, no BJs felt like double the punishment.

I realize that I’m being, shall we say, candid. But I find that it’s next to impossible to talk about sex without getting specific. And how else does one get what one wants out of sex than by talking about it? So I’ll go first: I don’t understand why so many men act like, by giving head, they’re doing you a favor. I half expect them to say “You’re welcome” afterward. I recently met a guy who, while flirting with me at a party, said, “Just so you know, I’m the kind of guy who cares about making a girl cum.” He then stared at me in anticipation, as if waiting for me to faint, or for celebratory balloons to fall from the ceiling. Not to mention that when you meet the rare guy who’s up for going down, he’s often remarkably bad at it. All that spitting and sucking and vagina slapping: What is going on there? To my knowledge, I don’t have an abnormally sensitive vagina, but if someone slaps it, or slurps at it like it’s a trough, any subsequent screaming will be out of pain, not pleasure. Oral sex isn’t rocket science, so why, if you’re a straight girl, is head so often either terrible or nonexistent?

It’s now widely discussed that, due to a lack of sex ed in school, young people are learning about sex from porn. Heterosexual porn scenes usually go something like this: Girl gets naked; girl shows off her body for a while; girl gives guy a blow job; girl and guy have intercourse; the end. Rarely in this scenario does the guy reciprocate oral sex. Well, porn imitates life imitates porn, as they say. Which means that, often, real-life sex doesn’t include head for the woman, either. Of course, there are exceptions. Some guys are very generous and adept in the oral department, and some porn does emphasize pleasure for the woman. But the fact is, almost all mainstream porn is made by men, for men, and it shows—the aim of the scenes is always to get the man off. As a result, in the real world, many girls and guys think that the aim of sex is to get the man off. And honestly, many of my hook-ups with men have felt driven by that singular goal. As someone who also sleeps with women, I feel I have a good counterpoint. My female partners have been unanimously more giving and considerate, and certainly more likely to give me head.

Cindy Gallop, the woman behind Make Love Not Porn, says she’s “pro-porn, pro-sex, and pro knowing the difference.” I completely agree with her. Don’t get me wrong: I love porn and watch it often—probably too often—but I also know that it’s artificial entertainment. Porn is great for many things, but learning how to genuinely please a woman is not one of them.

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10 Signs He’s a Keeper

by zfortadminin LOVE

He might be falling in love with you

1. He makes a point to check in with you before making plans. The two of you might not yet be at the point where you naturally spend every weekend together, but he checks in with you before making plans to go on trips or away for a day to visit his family. Because you have plan priority.

2. He gets upset if he doesn’t hear from you all day. That “Hey, how was your day” text means not only was he thinking of you, but he’s wondering what you were doing that was so much better than messaging him.

3. He assumes you’re his de-facto plus one. When he says, “Hey, I have a wedding in November” as a way of inviting you instead of actually asking, it means he’s taking things pretty seriously.

4. He makes a point to take you to his favorite places. He takes you to his favorite bar or “the best” (in his mind) place to get pizza. This means he’s letting you into his world. He’s saying, “I trust you not to lurk outside of this place with a knife, waiting for me to show up if I ever break up with you.” That’s a big deal.

5. He sits through Scandal because he knows it’s your favorite. No man would want to sit through a girly show unless he’s either (1) trying to have sex with you or (2) trying to get brownie points. If he’s already had sex with you, then he’s just trying to rack up the points. And no guy cares about getting in your good graces unless he actually cares about your good graces in the first place. If he didn’t see things going anywhere, he wouldn’t waste five hours of his time binge-watching Gilmore Girls with you.

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6 Traits Men Find Incredibly Irresistible

by zfortadminin Sex

He’s looking for these traits and they have nothing to do with looks! 

While a sultry dress and stilettos may make him look, what really gets him going might surprise you.

So you’ve spotted a guy who looks like he could be the man of your dreams across the room, and before you know it, he’s noticed you too. He walks over, gives you a cheesy (but cute) opening line, and now you’re talking to him.

You and I both know that you are all that, but right now he only knows that you look great. So what will make him realize that you really are the girl he’s been waiting his whole life for and make him want to retire his little black book for good? Here are 6 personality traits that will make just about any guy fall head over heels for you.

1. You’re Not Easily Impressed

You’re not the type of woman that gets all dreamy eyed just because an attractive guy has decided to talk to you. You know that you’re the one doing the choosing. Of course, in any good relationship both partners have to choose each other, and for the right reasons, but what we’re talking about here are those first fledgling hours and subsequent dates.

The point here is not to pretend that you aren’t interested while your heart is actually fluttering and you’re secretly concerned that you’re starting to sweat; instead, consciously realize that you’re not sure if he’s all that either — after all, you just met him, how could you possibly know anything more about him than how he looks, walks and smiles?

That’s just not much to go on. So, approach the situation as exactly what it is — you think he’s superficially attractive, but he’s going to have to prove to you that he’s worth talking to, much less giving your number to. Look at this as a chance to find out if he really is a guy that you want to get to know better.

Men love this because they truly want to win you over; they’re biologically wired for the chase, so let him chase you. If you’re interested, and think he’s attractive, that will automatically show through your body language. You’ll be smiling, laughing at his jokes, your eyes will light up, and he’ll notice that.

But he’ll also notice that you’re clearly not desperate, because you know that you’re a great catch, and now it’s time for him to show you why he’d be a great catch. We’re not talking about playing games like intentionally acting uninterested or walking away from him after ten minutes.

Just be who you actually are — a woman who finds him attractive on the surface, but who needs to find out what’s underneath to be convinced that he’s the right guy for you. You know that it will take more than a few minutes (or even a few dates) for him to convince you of that.

2. You Know You’ve Really Got It Going On

You know you’re all that (and more), but not in an arrogant way. You’ve got that kind of quiet confidence that allows you to feel comfortable in almost any situation because you feel good about yourself and your capabilities.

When you’re confident your body language shows it in the way you make eye contact, the way you carry yourself, and your easy smile. Men can’t help but go gaga over a woman who’s just so sure of herself.

3. You Feel Sexy

It’s not about looking sexy, it’s about feeling sexy. I’m not talking about that low cut dress and stiletto heels kind of sexy — I’m talking about the kind of sensual, self-assured, comfortable in your own skin (and oh what beautiful skin) kind of sexy. When you feel sexy, it will automatically show through your body language, the way you move, and the way you smile.

The best way to feel sexy? It’s not about what you’re wearing on the outside; wear your sexiest lingerie underneath your outfit, even if it’s jeans and a sweatshirt at a spring barbeque. Even though you know that nobody will see it but you at the end of the evening, by wearing your soft, sexy, silky lingerie you know in your mind that it would knock the socks off of the guy you’re talking to, and that shows through. When you feel sexy, you’ll be sexy.

4. You’re Interesting

You have your own life, and wow, it’s pretty good. Guys want to know that once the two of you start dating you won’t be looking for them to be your sole source of a social life and happiness in general. Nobody wants the clinger – the girl who has no social life of her own except for going out with her girlfriends looking for men. Guys know that this girl won’t be interested in doing that once she settles down, and are afraid that then she’ll want to do everything with him.

Most men highly value their alone time, and they need to know that they won’t lose all of it if they’re in a relationship with you. It’s as simple as mentioning a project that you’re working on (non-career related), talking about an interesting course that you’re taking for fun, or a weekend getaway you have planned with your girlfriends. By casually letting him know that you have other interests (you do, right?) and that you like to spend time and have plans with your friends, he’ll feel good knowing that you’ll be ok without him when he needs his alone time.

5. You’re Interested

You want to find out more about this cute guy you just met, right? So you’re asking a few questions about him — where he grew up, how many siblings he has, any pets? Not to the point of it sounding like an interview, and certainly not questions that are inappropriately personal, but generally you’re showing him that you’re interested in getting to know him better (and you are, right?) This makes him realize that once you’re in a relationship together it won’t just be all about you.

6. You’re glowing

People that are happy, exuberant, enthusiastic, and have a great attitude towards life are very attractive to other people. It’s like there’s a light that shines from your eyes and your smile, and surrounds you, bathing you in its translucent beauty.

It’s a of mix of confidence, physical and emotional health, self-esteem, and loving your life. Men can’t help but pick up on this energy and get drawn in by it. It may have been what brought him over to you in the first place, and he’ll be so intrigued by this vibrant gem that he’s found that he won’t be able to tear himself away.

This inner glow is not something you can fake, and I know it’s not always easy to feel when you’ve been dateless for a while and may be starting to feel down on yourself and your life. If you’re not feeling the glow right now, then it may be time to take a break from the search and work on improving your happiness, confidence levels, and self-esteem.

The best way to start feeling good about yourself and your life simply involves doing things that you love, being healthy (physically and emotionally), and getting some accomplishments under your belt, even if they’re relatively simple ones.

Try your hand at something new, something slightly intimidating, and keep at it until you’ve become relatively proficient. Accomplishing things that you were initially afraid to try can be an excellent confidence booster and add tremendously to your excitement and zeal for life.

The key to each of these really boils down to being your best, authentic self. If you can focus on being true to yourself, following your own interests without trying to be something different than what you are, then everything else will fall into place.

Once you stop trying to go against your own true nature you’ll discover your own sense of self, you’ll feel more confident and happy, you’ll be more excited about life, you’ll be more loving, and you’ll start to attract the same into your life. You’ll be nothing less than irresistible.

 

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Powerful Way to Prevent Sexual Assault on College Campuses

by zfortadminin Body, Sex, Wellness

Could the key to ending rapes lie in a clinical trial? 

An intensive program showing female college students how to recognize and resist sexual aggression reduced their chances of being raped over a year period by nearly half, according to new research.

The study, published Wednesday in the New England Journal of Medicine, compared the effects of attending a four-session course in resisting sexual assault to a more typical university approach of providing brochures on sexual assault.

The program is one of the first to demonstrate success in a controlled trial — and among the first to be published by the medical journal, best-known as a forum for clinical drug trials.

The study comes just weeks before colleges and universities across the country are required to detail how they will deal with sexual assault. Those reports, due to the U.S. Department of Education on July 1, are mandated by the 2013 Campus Sexual Violence Elimination Act.

At least 1 in 5 women has been a victim of sexual assault that occurred while she was attending college. By far, most of the attempted or completed sexual assaults on college campuses are perpetrated by classmates, dates or acquaintances of the victim.

Freshman and sophomore women are thought to be at the greatest risk of sexual assault.

Experts say the ubiquity of alcohol, freedom from parental monitoring, and an atmosphere that celebrates macho and athletic bravado are all factors that foster sexual assaults.

Canadian psychologist Charlene Y. Senn, lead author of the study, said that the socialization of young women often prevents many would-be victims from acknowledging and responding to a sexual predator in ways that will thwart an assault.

Young women arriving at college have widely been socialized to be friendly and likable, which can blind them to the aggressive advances they might encounter at a party, she added.

In 2005, Senn devised a curriculum to help young women overcome the emotional barriers that delay or prevent their recognition of sexual aggression and respond to it.

Over four three-hour sessions, the course worked on skills to assess, acknowledge and, if necessary, rebuff unwanted sexual advances.
Those sessions included instruction in recognizing sexual coercion and the circumstances in which it can take place. Participants also had two hours of self-defense training based on the martial art Wen-Do.

Experts caution that reducing sexual violence by focusing on a victim’s will or ability to resist has fallen out of favor in recent years.

In their place are programs that address the motives of potential perpetrators and energize bystanders to intervene. Such approaches place the blame for sexual assault squarely on the perpetrator.

By focusing on a potential victim’s power to thwart her attackers, some experts warned that such a program might contribute to blaming victims.

In an editorial accompanying the study, Kathleen C. Basile, an epidemiologist with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, wrote that the study’s “primary weakness is that it places the onus for prevention on potential victims, possibly obscuring the responsibility of perpetrators and others.”

But teaching women how to identify and resist are still important strategies, Senn says.

Between September 2011 and February 2013, 893 freshman women at the Universities of Calgary, Windsor and Guelph in Canada took part in the study.

Holding three-hour sessions on weeknights and marathon sessions on weekends, Senn and her coauthors put 451 women through a series of lectures, problem-solving exercises, discussions and self-defense classes aimed at helping them define their own sexual desires and boundaries, recognize and discourage sexual aggression and resist an assault.

The remaining 442 women were assigned to a control group, in which they attended a 15-minute session and were provided brochures on sexual assault.

About a year after the sessions ended, Senn and her colleagues surveyed the participants, asking detailed questions about their sexual contacts in the preceding year.

Among women offered the brochures on sexual assault, 9.8% reported they had been raped and 9.3% reported they had been the intended victims of attempted rapes.

Some 40% reported other nonconsensual sexual contact, in which they experienced unwanted sexual touching or fondling.

An additional 14% said they had been subject to coercive sex in which a perpetrator pressured or manipulated them into compliance.

Among women who got the resistance training, 5.2% said they had been raped and 3.4% reported attempted rapes — reductions of 46.3% and 63.2% respectively.

Rates of nonconsensual sexual contact reported by this group were 34% lower than those in the control group, and reports of sexual coercion were roughly 24% less common.

Sarah Yang, a 2014 graduate of UC Davis who was president of that campus’ Women’s Health Initiative, said publication of the study in a medical journal boosts the profile of the issue.

“It validates campus sexual assault as a public health issue — and that’s huge,” said Yang, an aspiring physician. “It’s national now. It’s international.”

Senn emphasized that training only women to avert sexual assailants addresses just part of the solution.

“There’s no quick fixes,” she said. “We have to make stopping sexual violence everyone’s problem — everyone’s business — to hold men accountable, to support victims. But we also need to give women the tools they need to fight back.”

 

Curated by Timothy
Original Article

When a Gentleman’s Love Language is Giving

by zfortadminin LOVE

When the love of my life and I decided to get engaged, we went on an extensive search for the perfect wedding ring. What my bride to be didn’t know was that I wanted to learn what shapes, colors and designs she liked best so I could design “the perfect ring” myself.

Sometimes, she would put on a ring and take it off immediately other times she would say, “…that’s kind of nice” and then finally, at what seemed an eternity, she said, “Wow.”. That’s when we stopped looking and I started designing a ring that incorporated all of the things that she liked in individual pieces.

When the design was completed, it required 32 Marquis cut diamonds. Try as I might to find perfect stones, I could not get 32 that matched in size, color and clarity. A bit of research found a diamond cutter in Brussels and off I went to have him cut 32 Marquis diamonds in the exact size, color and clarity that I wanted. Then, I found a wonderful jeweler, outside San Francisco, who my gut told me was the right person to build this ring. The ring itself is an open design with white gold and yellow gold interwoven and diamonds all the way around. After a wax was prepared, it was shipped to me for approval. Shipped because I live in Atlanta. We tweaked the ring just a bit and I saw a final casting before the ring was completed; when it was, it was simply spectacular.

Perhaps you can see, I have been called a hopeless romantic (more than once) who enjoys giving gifts. That is how I express my love.

Of course, the entire design, acquisition and building of this ring was unknown to my bride-to-be. When it was finished, over a romantic dinner, I showed it to her for the first time. Much to my chagrin, she looked at it and said, “It’s a beautiful ring but when would I wear it? I am a ceramic artist whose hands are in clay all day.”

To her our earlier search was simply a fun exercise while to me it was much more serious. My beloved had told me long ago that she didn’t really like diamonds. I took it upon myself to show her something beautiful in anticipation that she would change her mind. While I heard her words, I did not listen. That was several years ago. To this day, that ring sits in a safe and sadly we did not marry.

Not to be dissuaded, the one thing my fiancée complained about the most was the studio in which she worked. It was a warehouse with no heat or air conditioning and no windows. During the four months out of the year where one can be perfectly comfortable with windows and doors wide open in Atlanta, she would work feverishly while the rest of the year she either was much too hot or far too cold.

This time, when I suggested that I build her the studio of her dreams, I listened carefully as she told me what would make that studio ideal. I then added a few touches of my own, like floor to ceiling windows, a 20 foot cathedral ceiling, and, of course, heat and air-conditioning.

Each day for a month, I would be so excited to show her the progress. This was a 1,500 sq.ft.studio and I was the general contractor and assisted in the construction. Again to my dismay, my beloved showed no interest in the process.

When the studio was completed, she stepped inside and said, “…this is beautiful. Thank you.”   With that, I then moved all of her equipment from the warehouse into the new studio where she quickly unpacked everything and organized the space.

She received my gift and my passion in the love language of giving.

Written by Barry

 

Tantric Yoga for Lovers

by zfortadminin Mind, Sex

These moves look sensual and grow intimacy! 

Improve the quality of your relationship and loving, increase the flow of sexual energy, and share a gentle yoga routine with your partner. Develop a regular practice for toning your bodies, and balance body mind and spirit – in and out of the bedroom.

Tantric Yoga for Lovers
Simple yoga moves can connect you deeper with your partner and make your lovemaking stronger.

Curated by Erbe
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