single Archives

How to Enjoy Being Single During the Holidays

December 3, 2015January 22, 2024 by zfortadminin LOVE

This year, I decided I would do something a little different over a holiday. For Thanksgiving, my family celebrated the weekend before. Since I didn’t have in-laws or a boyfriend’s family to visit, and had 5 days off from work already, I decided to take a vacation.

And I vacationed all by myself.

Instead of sitting at home over the holiday thinking of places I’d like to visit one day with a spouse, possibly feeling sorry for myself, or shopping for things that I didn’t need, I decided to take a trip.

I put my money towards an experience and memories that would last longer than any Black Friday purchase.

It was my first trip by myself. To say I was anxious about the details would be an understatement, but I bought my tickets, got to my destination, and had a great time!

I went sightseeing, saw some theatre shows, wrote and read in my hotel room with a view of mountains and the downtown lights below, and enjoyed the little luxuries of a really nice hotel. I was mindful about traveling around by myself, checked in with my family daily, and was able to get some great deals with smart planning.

The ability to do what I wanted to do and go where I wanted to go, on my own schedule, was a nice change and made for a great trip!

I gained more confidence in my season of life and myself. And it kept me in tune with God’s constant hand of protection over me.

In the past, I’ve gone through different phases of how I feel about being single during the holidays. The truth is, I’ve been single for the majority of Christmases I’ve celebrated.

Looking at it one way, this gives me freedom to do what I want with my time. It’s a sweet time. A time to have “extra” downtime with my family and friends while others may have more obligations to celebrate with their “other half’s” side.

It can also be a time that highlights the fact of singleness. It’s hard being by yourself without a romantic interest to share in the holiday with. That is why it’s so important to accept the love, covering, and companionship that God brings our way.

It might not be romantic, but it can be even more fulfilling.

So this Christmas, if you find yourself unsure of how to move forward through the holiday, here are some tips for making the best of it in during your “season” of singleness:

1. Love on your family and friends.

Your family, as colorful, small, or big as it may be, is important. God gives us the greatest commandant which is to love the Lord our God and secondly to love our neighbors as ourselves. So love on your family and friends! Enjoy the moments you have with them this Christmas. We aren’t promised to have them with us next year, so make this year count.

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:34-35 NIV)

2. Answer the infamous “Are you seeing anyone?” question with grace.

Sure, when you feel like you’re standing in front of a target range with a big flashing arrow pointing down above your head that says “SINGLE” on it, it can feel a bit overwhelming. And yes, sometimes the question can strike a chord. But remember this: The majority of the time people are just asking to ask. It’s not malicious. So check your heart. Make peace with your life as it is this Christmas. Try to answer with grace and a smile and remember the blessings you do have.

3. Do something different. Get out of your comfort zone!

I’m not saying to skip your family time, but if you have a chance to take a trip during your time off and do something you’ve wanted to do, you should go for it! If the idea of going anywhere alone seems sad or depressing, by all means, grab a friend or two and go together!

4. Remember that many people are lonely. Not just you.

It can be easy to live in a bubble during the holidays. To get on Facebook and see picture perfect scenes and think you’re the only one lonely this year. But remember that whether you’re single, married, divorced or widowed, anyone can be stressed, anyone can be lonely, and everyone needs love!

And when it’s all said and done, the main reason for Christmas, the get-togethers, dances, and dinners are rooted in the only important fact: The birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ!

Keeping in mind that Jesus truly is the “reason for the season” can put your own “season of life” in perspective.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Best New Year’s Resolutions of Single Ladies

December 29, 2015January 22, 2024 by zfortadminin LOVE

Callin’ all the single ladies! It’s that time of year again.

Time to wipe the slate clean and get a fresh start on a new year. So let’s ditch those bad habits… you know the ones… and set your NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS!!!

Happy New Year!

Curated by Erbe
Original Video

Who is Using Who for Sex?

May 5, 2016January 22, 2024 by RJ Newellin RELATIONSHIPS

We’ve all been there, or known someone who has.

Why do smart, compassionate, beautiful women find themselves pining after emotionally unavailable men?

For a while, I was the one my girlfriends always went to when they needed to vent about that one guy who never called them back. I’ve been texted at all hours with excited declarations like “he wants me to come over to watch a movie. It’s 2 am, but still!” And then, there’s the inevitable anguish when “he” doesn’t want a relationship.

I’ve heard all the stories. I know all the details. Year after year, it’s the same. And it’s heartbreaking. I know too many women who are being used for sex – and none of them are willing to admit it, until it’s too late.

It’s been said to ‘never take advice from some you wouldn’t want to trade places with.’ I’m not an expert, by any means. I am not some magical relationship fairy, who’s never made a bad decision. I have been in this situation myself, but it took me years after the fact to finally look back and admit it. If you want advice on learning how to see through manipulation before it’s too late, read on. The tips I’m about to share with you came from years of my own mistakes, and from watching my friends fall into the same traps year after year.

If a woman is looking for a relationship, why would anyone think it’s okay to manipulate her? Why do one-sided relationships drag on for months and months, until someone’s self-worth has been suffocated?

The honest answer: We may walk into these bad situations on accident, but we stay there on purpose.

Look, we live in the 21st Century. Mutual, no-strings attached, casual intercourse is totally okay. It’s also just fine for two people to start out on the same page, and change their minds later. You are entitled to end a relationship how and when you wish, and so is he. Everyone has the right to choose. But it is wrong to make the conscious decision to manipulate, coerce, or string someone along just for sex.

Men are not the only guilty parties here. Women use men for sex, as well. But for the purposes of this article, I’m taking aim at the most common scenario. Whether you are male or female, it is important to protect your heart and recognize your needs. Here’s how.

Ask yourself: What are my needs?

An emotionally healthy relationship requires having conversations that don’t always lead to sex. It requires two people who are there for each other, whether sex is a factor or not. Do you wish he’d take you out on dates? Are you hoping he’ll introduce you to his friends and family? Would you be happier if he shared more with you than just his body? All of us have needs, and you should take the time to define them for yourself.
Make your needs clear before sex is even brought up in conversation.

Millennials live in a social media-driven culture where we almost “compete” to see who is less attached and more “chill.” I’d go into the reasons behind this, but that’s a topic for another day. My point here is this: Once upon a time, it was completely normal to say “I’m interested in a relationship with you, and would love to take you out on a date.” Now, the boundaries between friendship, casual sex, and dating are a lot less clear. While it’s totally fine to want a casual relationship for sex, it’s not okay to pursue one with someone who wants more than that. If you’ve been burned in the past, recognize that every day is a new opportunity to change the pattern. You’re the captain of your own ship. Your well-being should not be left up to another person. Avoiding manipulation requires YOU making your intentions clear from the start.
Recognize red flags.

If he’s always unavailable on weekends, but he’ll call you at 11 pm on a Wednesday night to “hang out,” that’s a red flag. If you’ve made it clear you want a relationship, but he keeps ignoring the issue, that’s a red flag. If you’ve never meet his friends (or you’re introduced as merely his ‘friend’ if you do), that’s a red flag. If he goes days without answering your texts (unless it’s to set up a cozy Netflix and chill session), that’s a red flag. If he tells you that he’s not looking for anything serious…that’s THE sign it’s not happening.

…Do you see where I’m going with this?

Be honest with yourself.

All too often, we diminish our feelings to suit the person we’re hoping to impress. I know it can be difficult to assess the situation amid the endless butterflies and infatuated thoughts. But if you really examine the situation, it’s often pretty obvious when a guy is not down for commitment.
The only person you can change is you.

At this point, you may be thinking, “I’ll be the one to change his mind!” But I am here to tell you that it doesn’t work that way. If he changes his mind for you, it won’t be because you let him sleep with you, allowed him to repeatedly ignore you, and pretended that you don’t have needs. You deserve love and respect. And this requires loving and respecting yourself. If you want a relationship, and it’s clear that he doesn’t… your friend should find a new sex buddy and you should look for commitment elsewhere.

So – are you setting yourself up for heartbreak? Most of us already have the answers, we’re just too afraid to see them. No amount of calling your girlfriends, reading advice articles, or scrolling through his Instagram will give you the validation you need. You deserve to be honest with yourself, and to find a partner who is honest, too.

Finding Your Ho, Ho, Ho this Holiday, When You’re Single

December 20, 2016January 22, 2024 by Kelley Lynnin DATING ADVICE, LOVE

Happy Holidays, Fellow Single Folks!

Ho, ho, ho …. you’re alone!!! Do you ever feel like the holidays put a great, big, exclamation point on the sad fact that you currently aren’t with anyone? Does all that mistletoe, tinsel, and Christmas cheer make you feel all kinds of lonely? Yeah. Me too. Whether you are divorced, single, nursing a broken heart, or even widowed, like me – the holiday season can really do a number on your ability to feel joy. In fact, it can be downright depressing.

But it doesn’t have to be. Sure, singing Christmas carols and harmonizing by yourself, or making a gingerbread house for one, doesn’t sound like loads of fun – but there are ways that you can turn the holidays from a time of “woe is me” to a time of something special and meaningful. And perhaps even have some fun and do something a bit different in the process. Really. All it takes is thinking a bit outside the box. Here are a few ways to have a purposeful, meaningful, joyful holiday – while being single:

Get Outside:

Maybe in past years, you have done the same tired thing, over and over and over again. Perhaps its time to change it up, do something new. If you’re single, guess what? You don’t have to answer to anyone, so if you feel like spending Christmas week in a casino, seeing a Broadway show, or on a beach in Florida, who says you can’t? Sure, you’ll still be alone and single, but suddenly that doesn’t seem so awful with a coconut rum drink in your hand while floating along in a pool. Also, when you do something completely different and new with your holiday, think of all the stories you’ll have for the rest of your friends and family. They might even end up being jealous, and that’s always fun.

Start New Traditions:

So you watch “A Christmas Story” on a loop, every Christmas Eve, every single year, for your entire life. That doesn’t mean you have to keep doing that until the end of time. If you want to do that, then great. But sometimes all it takes to feel new joy is a little bit of change. If you normally have hot cocoa with marshmallows, be a rebel and switch to whipped cream! Perhaps you could even gather together with other single friends, and together, create a lovely holiday dinner or evening, complete with your own brand new traditions. The good thing about new traditions, is that they feel very personal, because YOU created them. And now, you already have something to look forward to next year!

Help Out:

It is very easy to get caught up in all the ways that your own life kind of sucks during the holidays. One good way to help take the focus off of that for awhile, is to find ways to give to other people whose lives probably suck a lot more than yours does.The Thanksgiving after my husband’s death, I volunteered at a women’s shelter serving food for the holiday. The people there were so nice and so appreciative of everything, it took my mind off my own stuff for awhile, and it also helped me to engage in something that was far outside my own life circle. I actually had fun, and ended up doing more things like that going forward.

Be a Kid, Play with Kids:

Just because you’re officially an adult, that doesn’t mean you have to be serious all the time. Children love the holidays, because they get to be kids and just have fun! Who says you can’t do the same? If you have kids in your family, play with them. Build a snowman together. Build a fort. Make Christmas cookies. Make silly videos on Instagram and make each other laugh. If there are no kids in your life (I have a niece and nephew, so it’s always fun to be silly with them), bring back the kid in YOU, and have some fun this time of year. Go sledding, or snowmobiling. If you’re in a warm climate place, take a swim or a stroll.

Whatever you decide to do this holiday season, being single isn’t the end of the world. Yes, it can be sad and it can certainly be frustrating when everyone around you seems to be part of a couple. But, if you can focus on the celebration of love in all it’s forms – the holidays will start to become much more enjoyable.

So Happy Holidays, Fellow Single Folks! Here’s a toast to you, in all your awesomeness!

Size Never Matters, Trust Me.

March 28, 2017January 22, 2024 by Amy Albertin Sex

Mark had established a bit of a reputation for himself within the small window of time that he was employed at this restaurant as quite the Lothario because of the fact that he was blessed with what was rumored to be a huge penis.

When I was in my early 20’s I spent a summer waitressing at this sweet, kitschy restaurant in the Bay Area when out of nowhere the guy I had been dating, who I was utterly obsessed with, dumped me. I was crushed! Like, “broken, crying in a Target dressing room, writing shitty sad songs on my guitar that I could barely play, watching back-to-back Ally McBeal episodes to cope” crushed. A bartender, who we’ll call Mark, had been working there for a couple of months, and even though I wasn’t attracted to him, I liked the attention he gave me was, for all intents and purposes, totally harmless. Mark had established quite the reputation for himself within the small window of time that he was employed at this restaurant as quite the Lothario because of the fact that he was blessed with what was rumored to be a huge penis. One of the women who was supposedly impressed with it described it as “a baby’s arm holding an apple” and another called it the “anaconda”. My best gay friend who worked with me would constantly ask questions about said “huge” penis after it was revealed that one of our co-workers would have a run-in with it. He loved hearing all the dirty details about this guys wang. I would laugh and gasp and feign being all into it as they would describe every curve and angle of this man’s anatomy, but really it sort of grossed me out! Why would I want something described as an infant’s appendage grasping a piece of fruit anywhere near my vag? Ew!

As the end of my shift rolled around one eve a couple of weeks after me getting dumped I was glumly cashing out my checks for the night at the kitschy bar of the kitschy restaurant. Mark made me a drink and asked what was going on. I told him how I was heartbroken and just destroyed about it. I confessed that I thought I was in love with this guy, and when I learned that he was seeing someone else the entire time we were dating I was so humiliated! Mark listened intently to my sob story, nodding at the appropriate times while refilling my glass when it got half empty.

About an hour and a half and two thirds into my third drink later, he gently tucked my hair behind my ear and said, “You know, I have a great way to get you over that guy.” He smiled and suddenly looked very cute to me. I laughed awkwardly and told him I didn’t want to mess up our friendship. He agreed, but said he was always available to me if I ever wanted to “have the best night of my life.”

“It’s the only sure fire way to move on, in my opinion. I’ll rock your world, I promise.”

I excused myself to the bathroom and stood at the sink, staring at my reflection in the mirror. I had never really done anything like that before, just slept with a guy to make myself feel better. But…maybe he was right? Surely a guy who’s confident like that must be great in bed! Maybe this guy’s legendary dick would be just the elixir to cure my blues! Maybe I was about to have the best freakin’ night of my life and my world rocked! So I marched out to the bar, grabbed my bag and told him I would follow him home.

45 minutes later I’m at Mark’s apartment and we’re making out in his kitchen. We had a little trouble getting on the same page in terms of the kissing, but I figured I was a little tipsy, and he could be too, so maybe that was it. Then he takes my hand and leads me into his bedroom, which had posters of girls with huge hair in ripped half tops with the bottom of their nipples hanging out, like he was 15. “Well”, I thought, “he clearly likes girls, so that’s good!” We start getting undressed and I noticed that he ripped his clothes off with such enthusiasm that he reminded me of a little kid tearing into a Christmas gift. He turns around to face me and I see it. The “Baby’s arm holding an apple”. The “Anaconda”. This “huge” penis. And it’s pointed right at me. Watching me. I felt like if I tried to move around the room it would follow me, like the Mona Lisa.

We get into bed and he immediately mounts me without any warning or foreplay. Just in a, “Hello, welcome to my body weight pressing the breath out of you because women think being crushed is super hot!” type of way. His face was right on my face smashed together, which felt way too intimate for the moment, and now that I think of it is probably way too intimate for any moment ever. He asks me if I’m “good and ready”, to which I reply with a “yup” that I wheezed out because I couldn’t breathe due to his man body carelessly draped across mine, and a thumbs up, always an appropriate way to start sex when you’re getting ready to have the” best night of your life!”

Then it “started” And by that I mean a solid 20 minutes of him grunting and sweating on me while his giant penis went from an “Anaconda” to one of those balloon dudes who alert people to a sale or a new car wash after they had been deflated and were just weirdly flopping around with the wind. He kept slapping it on my thigh, squeezing his eyes shut and whispering, “Come on, man!” to whom I can only assume was his penis.

At one point he abruptly stood up and went over to the corner of his bedroom, like a scene out of The Blair Witch Project, where he got really quiet. I figured he trying to reason with it, talk it out like bros. When he returned to his bed, which didn’t have a fitted sheet by the way, there was a glimmer of hope in his eye, so I assumed they had worked out their differences and were ready to proceed as scheduled. Unfortunately it appeared that the penis and the man were on two different pages completely that evening.

Eventually I told him I had to go. “Early morning.” I said, like I was a regretful fella dressed in a cheap suit in an 80’s movie who just cheated on his wife with his best friends fiancé, “Gotta get my beauty sleep.” I got up and started to get dressed as fast as I could. I didn’t feel the need to hang out and make it even more uncomfortable than it was. He just lay in his bed on his side with his head propped up in his hand, nodding and telling me he “had to get up early too, so it was probably a good move to hit the sack.” I pulled on my shoes and waved goodbye and I exited his place so quickly I practically left a cartoon puff of smoke in my wake. I walked to my car noting to myself that in the future I should ask what one’s definition of rocking a world is, because I probably would’ve taken a rain check in this case.

The next day as I rolled silverware Mark noticed me and sat down at the booth. He casually mentioned that he had a “good time” the night before, but this time when he smiled he had reverted back to the version of himself that I didn’t find attractive at all. He asked me if I’d like to come by for “a little round two action”, which I politely declined. He told me that if I ever needed him again, I knew his number. “Oh, I got your number alright, stud.” I said under my breath as he walked away.

He walked back to the bar where he immediately started putting the moves on a woman sitting there alone, and I realized that for the first time in a while I wasn’t bummed about the guy who dumped me. And while he certainly didn’t rock my world, or give me the best night of my life, I realized in that moment that I appreciated him and his baby’s arm for taking my mind off things and giving me a pretty decent bad sex story to write about many years later.

Being Alone Doesn’t Have To Be A Prison Sentence

August 29, 2017January 22, 2024 by Ola Faletiin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

Love is a many-splendored (and multifaceted) thing. But unrealistic definitions of it are really to blame if you’re single and sad.

I’m a card-carrying member of the singles club. The combined time I’ve spent in a relationship is about a year. I’m only 25 so it’s not a massive deal, but it is real. In my lonelier months, it sucks to be in “Couplesville,” which can seem to be any and everywhere. Like many millennials, I am an avid googler, and occasionally “I’m single and sad” will be a frequent search result.

I’m not alone; more people are living the single life than ever. The US Census Bureau reported 107 million single adults in 2015, about 45 percent of the US adult population. That’s a sharp jump from 1950, when married adults outnumbered single folks by nearly double.

There are a number of possibilities to explain why this is. We live in a less conservative America now. Women have more economic and professional autonomy. But could it also be that our ideas on love are changing?

The kind of love we often see in media is simply not real.

However, less Americans getting married doesn’t mean that our deep-seeded, cultural ideas about love disappear overnight. Giants like Disney sell us the song-and-dance of romance, skimming around the fact that romantic love as we sell it isn’t accessible for everybody. And cultural norms often make it much tougher for anyone seen as not conventionally attractive (which includes but is not limited to people who have physical disabilities, are overweight, subvert gender binaries, aren’t light-skinned or thin) in their quest for a life partner.

But love is hardly impossible, especially if we broaden its definition.

Deep friendships can be just as rewarding.

Women like Diane Keaton, Condoleezza Rice, and Shonda Rhimes are proof of a robust life sans partner. They have their various reasons for singledom of course, but I’m positive they’ve reaped the benefits of platonic love. We all have.

The first love we ever experience is within the family. Then after the family, within friendships. Do you remember your first friend? Back when the only expectations you had were to see each other semi-regularly and share toys? As feminist scholar bell hooks says her book, in All About Love, “…friendship is the place in which a great majority of us have our first glimpse of redemptive love and caring community. Learning to love in friendships empowers us in ways that enable us to bring this love to other interactions with family or with romantic bonds.”

Friendship love is long-lasting and more flexible than typical romance. You’d be hard-pressed to love someone halfway across the world, who you only contact via email and Skype, and maybe see 2-5 times a year and make it work romantically. On the other hand, I have several friendships that ascribe to the above factors.

It doesn’t mean children are out of the equation.

Platonic love has that extra give, where jealousy, anger and expectations are tempered. No wonder “platonic parenting” is gaining popularity, where two or more people are raising a child together without a romantic relationship between the parents.

Of course, raising children outside of a two-parent, heteronormative relationship is nothing new or even particularly unique. In medieval Europe communal living was the norm; households often included widows, orphans, widows and friends in addition to parents with children. In an Israeli kibbutz, multiple families live communally, and children are raised together by a female caretaker. While not the norm among Israelis, kibbutzim has nonetheless existed for over a century.

This year, I visited a good friend of mine in New Mexico. They were part of a tight-knit and loving queer community, one where a pregnant woman could leave her partner and still know that her child would be cared for by a tribe of people. And now, that child is well-cared for by many members of that chosen family.

Love is love… even when it isn’t romantic.

Our meatiest feelings shouldn’t just be reserved for the romantic loves of our lives. It should be reserved for the people who make us feel most loved and most whole. Our friends, our blood family, our pets, and whoever else falls into that category.

For another look into an alternative view on love, check out this story about taking a “relationship hiatus.”

15 Exciting Holiday Adventures For Single People

December 11, 2017January 22, 2024 by Kate Oczypokin DATING ADVICE, RELATIONSHIPS

Single this season but still looking to have some fun? Here are some unique ways to enjoy yourself this holiday.

Isn’t the holiday season the best? Single or attached, I’ve always loved celebrating all the magic of this time of year. When I was single, I got a little more creative to assure I had a blast in December.

Here are just some ideas on how to have a wonderful time as a single woman this season.

1. Throw your own party.

I adore entertaining and have hosted a holiday party every year since I left college. When I was single, I adored getting to see all of my friends in one place. It was fun to catch up over cocktails and hors d’oeuvres. Pinterest has tons of party ideas to make sure your holiday party is the can’t miss féte of the season.

2. Take a staycation.

Chances are, where you’re currently living has plenty to offer. Take advantage of special holiday adventure hotel deals, spa treatments and more and book a staycation. Consider taking yourself out to dinner too. It may feel over indulgent or awkward at first but by simply taking a deep breath and relishing in the moment, you’ll begin to feel it.

What is “it” you may ask? Consider this, as a single woman you won’t have to worry about finding the perfect gift for your significant other or going through the stress of meeting his parents over the holidays.

3. Let loose at a holiday party.

You’re unattached, why not have some fun? Don’t feel bashful about going to a holiday party you’re invited to solo. Who knows, you may find the perfect person to steal a kiss under the mistletoe.

4. Start a new tradition.

Being unattached means you get to do what you want. Now is a great time to start your own traditions. Whether it’s grabbing a peppermint mocha and taking a walk to check out the Christmas lights, or ordering in Chinese and watching Christmas Vacation, embrace the chance to create memories all your own.

5. Reconnect with old friends.

When you’re home for the holidays, you don’t have to worry about entertaining a significant other. Instead, use the time to reconnect with old friends you’ve lost touch with. Not only will you be making personal connections again, there are also multiple opportunities for networking.

6. Volunteer.

Use the holiday downtime to consider volunteering at a local organization near you. If you’re feeling lonely or unfulfilled during this season, getting involved with a place you’re passionate about could work wonders.

7. Get to know your neighbors.

Apartment life can get lonely sometimes. Knock on your neighbor’s door this season and invite them to coffee or lunch. I mean, it did wonders for Leonard and Penny in The Big Bang Theory.

8. Get to know your city.

While everyone else is frantically figuring out what to wear for the ultimate holiday date night, you can have the opportunity to really get to know your city. Try that new restaurant or bar around the corner, or visit the museum you’ve always wanted to check out. Some holiday romance may be just outside your door.

9. Embrace hygge.

Hygge, pronounced “hygge,” is a Danish term that refers to a general sense of coziness and charm, whether alone or with friends, in your home or out. By embracing this philosophy, your solo holiday season may become just a bit brighter.

10. Take a holiday-themed class.

Look for classes on ornament making, wreath designing or cooking a holiday dish. Before you know it you just may turn into the next Martha Stewart!

11. Take your little nieces and nephews to visit Santa.

Relive your childhood with a trip to the mall to see Santa. Get nostalgic and jump in for a photo yourself!

12. Buy yourself a sexy new outfit.

You’ve given so many gifts this season, it’s time you treat yourself. Head to your favorite boutique or clothing store and pick out a sexy new holiday outfit for all the parties you’ll head to. Buy some lingerie to match too for some extra oomph.

13. Organize a holiday-themed girls’ night.

Get all your best girlfriends together and see a holiday movie (may I recommend Bad Mom’s Christmas?) and go out for drinks after. No boys allowed!

14. Visit your local ice-skating rink.

Unleash your inner Tara Lipinski and head to your local ice-skating rink with your best friends. Enjoy an evening under the stars, laughing as you glide over the ice and fall down a few times too. End the day with some spiked hot chocolate back at your place.

15. Host a tree-trimming party.

Visit your local Christmas tree stand and buy a tree to put up in your home. Invite all your friends over for a fun evening decorating your tree.

Stay positive as a single person this season with these fun holiday experiences.

Being single during the holiday season isn’t a sentence for six weeks of loneliness. The truth is, being single over the most festive time of the year is a great time to enjoy yourself, have fun and explore new opportunities and experiences. These ideas don’t require lots of time and money, just an open mind and lots of optimism during this sparkly season.

If you’re still feeling lonely, check out these tips on how to cope with the blues this season.

Things to Do on Valentine’s Day If You’re Staying Inside Alone

February 7, 2018January 22, 2024 by Clementine Francesin DATING ADVICE, RELATIONSHIPS

Single on Valentine’s Day? It can be a challenging day for many people, but it absolutely doesn’t have to be!

Watching others with their stuffed animals, balloons, chocolates, and lovers can be soul crushing. Don’t let yourself go there, because, more than anything, you are worth loving.

So, here are some things you can do for yourself all day and away from the traditional hearts and flowers. After all, it’s actually not a bad idea! There are alternative things to do to show yourself how you’re loved.

1. Declutter

Have you been meaning clear up you’re living space? Do you have five of the same shoes in different colors? Do you need them all? Do you want them all? What about that shirt you had since 7^th grade? Sure, it fits, but you’re 30 now so maybe you don’t need it. Besides, it’ll give you an excuse to go buy yourself something new!

What better day to get rid of things you don’t need than on Valentine’s Day. To declutter is a great way to start fresh. You will feel immensely productive; it will probably take you the whole day, and if you’re feeling a bit of the blues you might even find it easier to throw things away.

Time to forget sentimental ties to things that don’t matter and move forward

2. Cook

If you’re like me you only eat processed foods that don’t require anything other than microwave.

On this Valentine’s Day try cooking a meal that takes several hours. It’s not Thanksgiving, but why not put a Turkey in the oven? Or prepare meals for everyday of the week. That way you won’t have to eat out, buy more food, or even go outside at all for 7 days!

Even better if you wanted to try veganism, but never had the time, prep a week of vegan meals for you for breakfast, lunch, snack, and dinner. No better time to really put your energy into making food you don’t normally eat.

3. Work out

Going to the gym can be a challenge. It takes drive. But, YouTube exists, so how about spending Valentine’s Day showing your body how much you love it by getting fit.

You can start the day with an hour of yoga. Then you continue with zumba. Then learn a few new dance routines. Beyonce’s “Formation?” Lady Gaga’s “Paparazzi?” Michael Jackson’s “Thriller?” How about all of the above?

Of course, consider showering and eating in between.

3. Write

Are you a writer who likes to avoid writing? Valentine’s Day is the perfect day to draft your half hour/hour pilot you’ve been dreaming up. Or your 2-hour length feature script. Maybe you’ve never ever written and you want to try writing. Reddit has a few ideas with an entire subreddit dedicated to writing prompts.

If you’re a booklover, go start your novel! Valentine’s Day is a great day to begin a new career path.

4. Sleep

If you are someone who doesn’t get enough sleep let Valentine’s Day be the day you actually relax. Stay in bed. Close your eyes. Meditate. Avoid social media. Avoid all screens. Avoid all human contact. Just spend the day drifting in and out of your dreams. You deserve some rest.

I stayed in bed for most of today and I would like to have done it longer, but I had to write this! Catch up on all your sleep. You’ll be ready to take on the day that follows!

5. Watch every single movie nominated for an Oscar that is out on DVD, streaming or blueray.

Are you one of those people who hates the Oscars because they don’t nominate movies that you’ve seen? Well, try watching those nominated movies!

Or, if you’re the type of person that always tries to watch all of them, but haven’t had the time, Valentine’s Day is 24 hours long. You’ll probably be up for 12 of those hours which are enough to at least watch up to 6 movies. Try watching a foreign film nominee while you’re at it.

6. Declare your love

This is the most radical idea on this list.

On Valentine’s Day, I am asking you, a single person, to tell the person you like that you like them. Not just so you’re not single, but so you can start a new path and a new adventure.

Maybe you’re single because you don’t tell people how you feel. Or you close yourself off. If there is someone you have had your eye on and they’re single too, go tell them!

You might get utterly rejected but you did it and lived your true authentic self! Then you can move on to decluttering, working out, cooking, and sleeping.

But, maybe the person you have feelings for is scared to tell you how they feel about you too. If you feel the same way about one another then you don’t have to spend Valentine’s Day alone and the holiday can end up being the start of something new.

Let us strive for more great days!

Want other ideas for Valentine’s Day singles? Check out How to Annoy People in Love on Valentine’s Day: Top 10 List and get ready for one heck of a hilarious adventure!

10 Valentine’s Day Activities That Won’t Require a Significant Other

February 13, 2018January 22, 2024 by Ola Faletiin DATING ADVICE, RELATIONSHIPS

Because mushy feelings are for everybody.

So, Valentine’s Day. A day of pink and red, and couples flaunting their couple-y ness…or so it may seem when you’re very, very single. I am very, very single and consider V-Day a great opportunity to be good to yourself, along with the other lovelies in your life because romantic couples don’t have a monopoly on love (obviously).

You have just as many options for activities as couples do on February 14.

1. Go to a sex shop

I said Valentine’s Day was a great day for self loving — what better to do so than treating yourself. Cash out on that vibrator you’ve been eyeing. Or buy your first one. Or just giggle at how many genital-shaped things there are.

Either way, I encourage making a purchase; chances are it’s on sale too, since you won’t be the only one looking to get sexy on that day.

2. Eat a heart-shaped pizza all by yourself

I did this last year and it was wonderful. Pizza is already wonderful, but heart-shaped pizza is super cute and Instagram worthy. Plus there’s something about eating heart-shaped pizza that just makes you feel good. I’ll probably do this every Valentine’s Day, to be honest. At least until I have someone to make dinner plans with, because I’m not sharing pizza.

3. Volunteer

If it’s hard for you to shake off some sad feelings about a solo Valentine’s Day, you can turn that sadness into productivity! As someone who works at a volunteer run organization, I know that February 14 is a day when people bail on shifts due to evening plans. Pick up for a shift at a shelter, or food bank. Only good can come out of putting more love into the world.

4. Book a trip for one

I am, and always will be, a strong advocate of solo travel. I love going places alone. I love doing things at my own pace, eating all the chocolate I want, and just generally using the time to recharge myself. All the more reason this is a great Valentine’s Day activity if you’ve got some cash burning a hole in your pocket! Consider a few places off the beaten path. Even a brief road trip a few towns over will do.

5. Treat yourself to a hotel room

If you can’t book tickets to get away, rent yourself a hotel room, pick up some bubbly, and take an extra-long, luxurious bath. If you’re feeling extra gutsy, go to the hotel bar and get some fun drinks. Who knows, you might meet someone cute. Either way, you’re having a grand, luxurious time. Happy Valentine’s Day to you!

6. Galentine’s Day

I think “Galentine’s Day” a really cheesy name, but I’m into the concept. I love my friends. One V-Day I made plans to drink champagne and eat strawberries with one, although she bailed on me…but trust and believe, it’s happening this year.

Dress up with your friends (they don’t all have to be “gals”) and make some good food together. Or order some. It’s a sure way to end the night with a heart bursting from love.

7. Make actual valentines

Remember in elementary school when everyone just made valentines for everyone and it was sweet with no romantic pretense? I miss those simpler times.

But I love paper crafts and generally sending my friends things in the mail, so channel all your love energy into some sweet cards. Load up on lots of paper, stickers, glitter and good markers. Or you could just go store bought. Nothing says I love you like a Hello Kitty card.

8. Decorate your space

People don’t decorate nearly enough. If birthdays, New Years’, and Christmas are occasions to deck out your home, I don’t see why Valentine’s Day shouldn’t be.

For the past couple weeks I’ve been eyeing the heart-shaped mirrors, heart banners, pink streamers, and pink lights at target. Half of them are in the dollar section, too. If you’re into decorating, turn your abode into a soft oasis of pink. Why? Because you can.

9. Watch some unromantic movies

My favorite holiday movies are always the unconventional ones (think Bad Santa, the Ice Harvest, Edward Scissorhands). If you’re really one of the “I hate V-Day” crowd, watch some really uncheesy, devoid-of-tenderness movies.

Forget When Harry Met Sally. Try Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Plus it’s Oscar season, so there are way too many movies worth seeing on the big screen. Pick one that’s not super sappy and enjoy being in a couple-free room. Even if it’s not couple free, it’s too dark to tell.

10. Ball out on dinner

Many restaurants run Valentine’s Day promos. Most are of the buy-one-get-one free variety, so bring a friend along or pocket the leftovers for yourself!

While I adore eating out alone, I realize that not everyone is so comfortable being out and so obviously single. Try to pick a place that isn’t particularly romantic. Or, better idea, clear off your dining table, light some candles, break out the good china, and order some gourmet eats.

This is only a list of 10, but the possibilities go much further! If you want, dream about sharing V-Day with someone next year. Or do what I’ll do, which is enjoy a whole heart pizza to myself. Because f*ck sharing.

Want some more ideas? Check out some Valentine’s Day activities you can do if you’re hiding inside all day for the holiday or even some ideas if you want to show your community some love on V-Day.

I’m Not Dreaming Of A Summer Fling This Year (And I’m OK With That)

June 20, 2018January 22, 2024 by Ola Faletiin DATING ADVICE, RELATIONSHIPS, Sex

The joys of summer extend beyond romance.

It’s hard not to romanticize summer. I hail from Chicago, where the winters last six months, and the first 90 degree days of the season have everyone wistful. We’re eager to break out a cold beer on a stoop, and excited to indulge in hormonal urges.

Some of us, newly single, decide we’re going to be adventurous this summer. The rest of us, long single, dust off our dating profiles on the quest for a summer fling.

I fell into the latter camp. Summer always seemed to bring out a new resolve: I’m going to have amazing sex. This body is too young, soft and supple to not be appreciated by someone else.

Two summers ago I discovered a new-found freedom in going on dates, meeting new people, and enjoying the physical experience before moving on. I didn’t want that summer to end. I’m sure I did other notable things that summer, but when all was said and done I thought, “Yes! Flings are what summer is about. I’m taking full advantage of my youth!”

Last summer, I did no such thing. The summer began with a tryst with a longtime friend, followed by lots of weird sexual tension. And, being 1000% honest with myself, I’d hoped it would become more than a one-time thing.

I entertained the thought of a summer-long friends-with-benefits type of deal. Instead I got lots of broken expectations, mixed signals, and poor communication. Things only worsened when this “friend” left me very drunk at a concert, so intoxicated I woke up in a hospital the next day.

Summer love isn’t a unique phenomenon. There are films, books, songs, beers, 60s counterculture movements and New York Times articles devoted to the topic. I wonder why nothing captivates public attention like the promise of a summer romance.

It could be that the weather puts everyone in a better mood. People are leaving their homes more, people are bearing more skin. Maybe we are more gung-ho about meeting new people and going on new adventures.

There’s nothing wrong with being excited for summer flings. They can be fun, exhilarating, and offer a new perspective. It’s only a problem when you build a summer fling to be the pinnacle of your summer.

For me, last summer’s “fling gone awry” is what I remember the most. Not the other amazing things that happened – like the fact that I received a significant promotion at my job, or that I was starting to get freelance assignments for the first time. I was even published in a book!

It was learning that someone I considered a good friend, at some point, is actually not the best person. The goals I achieved that summer were dwarfed by my cocktail of negative emotions surrounding that situation. It’s silly to give someone else the power of “messing up your summer,” so I’m not going to do that this year. This year will be amazing!

I’m not discouraging anyone from being excited about hookup or romance potential, but I am encouraging everyone to be excited about other opportunities for personal growth. Make some exciting travel plans. Take a new class, learn more about your professional industry. Embark on a personal project for fun. Read more books. Make goals for yourself and earnestly work toward them.

These are things you can control. Love and romance — not so much. That’s what makes love and romance exciting, but that’s also what can make it stressful.

There are many things I am looking forward too this summer. Such as: creating a business plan for the first time, going to some street festivals, taking full advantage of my new apartment’s proximity to the beach, working on long-abandoned essays, traveling to see childhood friends, and overall, making the best of my last three months of being 25.

If a fling happens, it happens. But there’s no way I’ll let my summer fulfillment depend on who I’m with or not with between the sheets.

Happy summer everyone! Don’t forget, LOVE TV is here to help with advice on all of your summer romances and help you find love for the summer and forevermore. Join LOVE TV today!

10 Everyday Places to Meet People

February 14, 2019January 22, 2024 by Kate Oczypokin DATING ADVICE, RELATIONSHIPS

When you’re single, it doesn’t have to be so hard to meet people.

At one point when I was single, I was always trying to figure out ways to meet people. I always wished I had ideas about easy, everyday places to meet. Often, I tried too hard at events that were meant to put people together romantically—speed dating, blind dates and more. I wanted a meet-cute like you saw in romantic comedies.

Here are 10 everyday places to meet people.

1. The grocery store

Next time you’re hurriedly rushing through the store, look up as you’re reaching for that piece of produce. You never know who may be grabbing an apple across the aisle who may be your future boyfriend or girlfriend. If you’re short, it’s fun to scope out a cute man or woman taller than you to coyly ask to grab an item on the top shelf.

2. A friend’s birthday party

I’ll be honest, sometimes in your 30s you are just too tired to be social on weekends. I know I find myself occasionally saying no to invitations just because I’d rather stay home and be cozy. Next time a friend invites you out to another friend’s birthday party go for it! You’ll never know who you’ll end up meeting.

3. At the gym

I know there’s always someone or something happening at the gym. When I was single, I never had the nerve to speak to anyone to commiserate about it! I often will text a friend about ridiculousness like a woman walking on the treadmill barefoot. Next time, joke around with the guy or girl at the wipes station.

4. At the dog park

If you always bring a book or are constantly looking at your phone while letting Fido run around, put down the phone. Wander over to that cute guy leaning against a tree laughing at his dog tumbling after a tennis ball. Bonding over pets is a great way to get to know someone.

5. Get to know your neighbors

How often do you smile and say a polite hello to your neighbors but never actually engage in conversation? One of my favorite things to do is get to know those who live on my floor. If you’re single, it’s a great way to get to know their friends and widen your social circle even more.

6. Host a party

One of my favorite things to do is entertain. My boyfriend and I love to tell people they are welcome to invite a guest. That way any friends who are single and looking have the opportunity to meet new people.

7. Work at your local coffeehouse

If you have a flexible job and can work remotely once or twice a week, head to your neighborhood coffeehouse for work. When I worked in an office, I used to leave my cube during some afternoons to work at the Starbucks down the block. While I did meet a lot of people, unfortunately no one resulted in a date. However, you never know who you may meet with your same taste in lattes that could turn into something more.

8. Eat dinner out alone

I get it, it can be super intimidating to go to a restaurant alone. I’ve done it a couple times in my life and it was one of the most freeing feelings I ever experienced. Striking up a conversation with your waiter or waitress or the person next to you at the bar could lead to deeper relationships.

9. Take a class

If you’ve ever wanted to learn a new skill, sign up for a class in your neighborhood. The year I turned 26, I vowed to learn some skills I always wanted to try—and finally get my driver’s license. I tried tennis, golf and driving lessons and quickly figured out I was terrible at all three. I did end up getting my license by 27 and meeting lots of new people in the process, so I still consider it a win-win situation.

10. Volunteer

If you’re passionate about a political candidate, get on their website and learn how to get involved. Meeting other like-minded people gives you a good chance of a successful relationship if things were to end up steamy later on, especially if your candidate wins their election.

Single and trying to meet someone new? Here are 10 everyday places to get inspired to make that connection.

Getting Past 6-8 Weeks

July 22, 2020January 22, 2024 by Anna Morgensternin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

I’ve seen quite a few relationships suddenly end after the first 6-8 weeks for many friends and clients. This is the first of three relationship hurdles. You’re still getting to know each other in the first 2 months and it should be the most fun time of a new relationship. Everything seems to be going great and then all of a sudden it ends and you have no idea why. You were spending more and more time together, making future plans and telling each other your hopes and dreams. Why the sudden cold shoulder?

This is the time where you both are figuring each other out. People tend to overlook some red flags early on because they are happy to have found someone to spend time with, rather than really evaluating the other person. I don’t recommend seeing each other more than twice a week in the first 2 months. While you may want to spend all of your time with this person, it’s good to take it slow and reflect if this is someone you want to invest in. Sit down and journal what you like about the relationship and how they make you feel. Do you feel secure and happy or do you feel confused and unsure how they feel about you? Many times the reason someone backs off early on is because they are feeling pressure from the other person and the relationship stops being fun. Think about why you might be pressuring the other person. Is this someone you really want to be in a serious relationship with or are you just scared you won’t find anyone else?

While you may have lots of questions, look for actions instead of answers. Everyone has experienced a relationship where the other person said all the right things but their actions didn’t meet their words. It’s much better to be with someone who shows you that they care, rather than just telling you. So instead of asking them where things are going and if they like you, look at how they treat you. Do they prioritize you? Do they try to do things to make you happy? Or are they making plans then bailing on you? There are plenty of people you could end up with so don’t stick with someone just to be with someone. If this person isn’t meeting your needs, ditch them and find someone who will. The sooner you get out of an unfulfilling relationship, the sooner you can enter one that will meet your needs. You have to take emotion out of it a bit and really evaluate your relationship. While your heart might be telling you one thing, listen to your brain as well.

A friend of mine once told me to stop dating passively. Take control of your life and make actionable decisions. If you’re unhappy in a situation, get out of it immediately rather than waiting for that person to decide for you. You’re an adult, time to make adult decisions.

So, maybe you were feeling like you just can’t get past the first two months in a relationship but maybe now you’re realizing that the people you were investing in were not right for you. Maybe you’re realizing you were dating passively. Next time you enter a new relationship, take it slow and look at you list of qualities you need in someone and see if they fit that list. If not, let them go so you can find someone who does.

xo,