Relationships Archives - Page 3 of 8

The Scientifically Proven Best Way To Kiss

April 8, 2015January 22, 2024 by Michael Warshauerin Watch

I think we can all agree that when it comes to love and romance, it definitely takes two to tango. Sometimes, from the moment you lock eyes with that guy you’ve been crushing on, it can be hard to think about anything else except when you’ll have the perfect fairytale. But according to Buzzfeed’s video, a staggering 59% of students “have said their initial attraction ended after the first kiss.”:

Even though it sounds crazy (and a bit ridiculous, to be honest) that a kiss was the be-all end-all for some, it sort of makes sense. No matter how head over heels we are for someone, having anot so satisfactory kiss would put a damper on things. But if you’ve been wondering what tips and tricks will send sparks everytime, learning how to kiss the right way (according to science!) is the first step.

Girls, not only is eye contact a major difference between a dud and a success, employing tactics that’ll make it last will work in your favor. After all, “Your lips have one of the largest concentration of nerves than anywhere else on the body. These nerves send millions of signals to both you and your partners brains, releasing a rush of feel good hormones…This hormonal and chemical exchange will help you and your partner decide to pursue something more.”

So get ready to pucker up and put your skills to the test.

Original Article

How Much Sex is Healthy?

April 8, 2015January 22, 2024 by Michael Warshauerin Sex

Dancing the Horizontal Mambo

As a sexual addiction and intimacy disorders specialist, I am often asked about the frequency of sex. Couples want to know what is “healthy.” Usually, they’re afraid they’re either having way too much sex or not nearly enough. Either way, it’s a legitimate concern that can easily lead to stress, anxiety, depression, self-esteem issues and even the end of an otherwise successful relationship. A quick online search will bring up a huge volume of statistics — most of them not scientifically generated — regarding the frequency of sex among long-term, committed couples. The numbers presented in these “studies” vary widely, depending on the source and what the author is trying to promote. So in this instance, Google, Yahoo, Bing and similar search engines are somewhat useless.

Probably the best source for scientifically reliable data on this topic comes fromGeneral Social Survey, which has tracked American sexual behaviors since the 1970s. According to the GSS, married couples have sex an average of 58 times per year. However, this number lumps 25-year-old newlyweds into the same pool as senior citizens who’ve celebrated their golden anniversary, and it does not include unmarried long-term couples. There may or may not be much difference in the sexual behaviors of married and unmarried committed couples, but there is almost certainly a difference between young newlyweds and their grandparents, which means the 58 times per year number is not overly-meaningful. Recent GSS surveys support this assertion, showing that couples in their 20s have sex 111 times per year on average, with frequency dropping steadily, about 20 percent per decade, as couples age. In other words, young couples have sex slightly more than twice per week on average, with the number declining steadily over time.

OMG! My Numbers Are Off!

If you just read the statistics provided above and thought, “Uh-oh, there is something wrong with me/us,” you’re not alone. Maybe you and your partner have done it 10 times this week and it’s only Tuesday, or maybe you’ve not been physically intimate since your neighbor’s last Fourth of July party. Either way, there is no need to freak out. You’re not necessarily hyper-sexed if you’re well above the norm, nor are you automatically under-sexed if you’re far below the norm. Human sexual arousal patterns cut a very wide swath in terms of what people like to do and how often they like to do it. And frequency of sexual arousal and behavior can be influenced by any number of factors, including:
• Age
• Life circumstances
• Physical and emotional health
• Medications
• Having children at home
• Hormonal imbalance
• Recent losses and grief
• Substance use and abuse
• Workload and stress
• Relationship status
• A history of previous trauma or abuse
• Diminished physical attraction and a corresponding lack of intimacy
• Secrets and lack of relationship trust

The simple truth is that everyone is different and there is not a “norm” for sexual behavior. Some people are heterosexual; others are homosexual or bisexual. Some people are into a fetish or kink; others are relatively “vanilla.” Some people like to get it on a lot; others can take it or leave it. That’s the way it is, that’s who we are and there is nothing inherently right or wrong with any of it. As long as your sexual behavior (or lack of it) isn’t illegal, affecting your self-esteem, troubling to your relationship or leading to negative life consequences, why worry?

Sexless and Happy? Really? Sure. Maybe.

People who are having a lot of sex are usually pretty OK with that. Typically, they only worry about things if they are sexually addicted and their carnal compulsivity is causing problems. Frankly, most couples who worry about frequency of sex tend to fear their frequency is significantly below the curve, so to speak. This is especially true for couples who qualify as “sexless.”

Generally speaking, a sexless marriage is one in which a committed couple has sex less than 10 times per year. About 15 to 20 percent of long-term couples fall into this category. This may or may not be an issue, depending on the couple. Some couples, especially older pairs who’ve been together a long time, are perfectly fine with once or twice a year or even not at all, thank you very much. Not having sex doesn’t mean these couples aren’t deeply in love, monogamously committed and happy together. It just means that sex isn’t as high a priority for them as it is for some of their friends, neighbors or people they see on TV and in the movies.

That said, many couples do find infrequent sex to be an issue. In fact, numerousstudies have shown that lack of sex corresponds directly with marital instability and thoughts of leaving a relationship. Sometimes one person’s sex drive just doesn’t match his or her partner’s sex drive. This issue often arises in couples counseling. Sometimes both partners want to be sexual, but one (or both) is not interested in sex with his or her spouse. This can be caused by any number of factors, including lingering resentments, lack of emotional intimacy, diminished physical attraction, differing sexual interests, etc. Lack of sexual interest may also be the result of an underlying psychological condition such as depression, anxiety, drug or alcohol addiction, a behavioral addiction, low self-esteem, unresolved childhood trauma, an attachment deficit disorder, etc. And there is always the possibility that one partner may be having an affair. Let’s face it: If a person is getting his or her sexual needs met on the side (with regular porn use or in-vivo), he or she is likely to be less interested in sex at home.

Should You Be Worried?

Happily, less sex does not automatically equate to less love, happiness and fulfillment. For most couples, especially those who’ve been together for a number of years, companionship, reliability and a sense of mutual trust are far more meaningful than a lot of hot, sweaty sex. Sure, there are couples out there who’ve been married for 30 years who’re still hot for each other, and good for them. For the rest of us, our libidos tend to droop in tandem with our aging body parts. Diminishing hormone levels, the aging process
and the distractions of life tend to lower our sex drives (and our ability to perform), and there’s not a whole lot we can do about it.

Of course, if you and your partner have gone several weeks or even months without sex and the lack of activity is troubling you, you may want to consider some changes. Usually a little bit of effort is enough to revive a flagging sex life, especially if the emotional connection between you and your partner remains strong. Often in such cases the real issue is that things have gone a little stale. If you find that to be the case in your relationship, try one or more of the following tips:

• Schedule it. Sure, this sounds horribly unromantic, but really it’s quite the opposite. Setting aside and committing to a time to be emotionally and physically intimate gives you and your partner something to look forward to. Plan a relaxing shower and mutual massage as part of foreplay. After all, who doesn’t look forward to a massage? Couples who search together for the right scent of massage oil are off to a great start.
• Mix it up. Perhaps you’ve always had that special secret fantasy, but you’ve never mentioned it or acted on it. Now is the time to talk about it with your partner. Who knows, maybe he or she is willing to try it. And be sure to ask about his or her secret fantasy. It might be a turn-on for you, too. Just make sure that if you both say yes, you really mean to say yes. No regrets, please.
• Go away. If you’ve always done it in the bedroom, try the kitchen, or a hotel, or a cruise ship, or a cabin in the woods. It’s amazing what a little change of venue can do for a stale sex life. Many couples take frequent weekends or holidays just for this purpose.
• Be romantic. Give your partner a gift “just because.” Write a list of things you love about your partner and give it to him or her. Plan a surprise date that involves an activity you know your partner enjoys (even if it’s not your favorite thing to do). Take your art-lover wife to a museum, your sports-junkie husband to a pro football game.

It is also important to recognize that you and your partner can be physically intimate without actually having sex. Holding hands, looking into each other’s eyes, cuddling, spooning, massage and just taking the time to listen to your loved one’s feelings can all serve to build emotional closeness. Plus, all of the above are terrific forms of sexual foreplay should you wish to go all the way.

Still Striking Out?

If you’ve tried the above tips and things still aren’t happening, you may want to seek the assistance of a medical doctor and/or a couple’s counselor. It is wise to rule out any potential physical or medical problems before considering relationship-based or psychological issues. If the problem is physical- – erectile dysfunction, for instance — medication may help. If it turns out the problem is not medical/physical, trained sex therapists can talk you through the emotional and psychological issues that may be holding you back. These caring professionals can be found via websites likewww.aasect.org.

The most important thing to remember here is that sex is not the be-all, end-all in relationships. Yes, it is a healthy way for couples to bond emotionally. As such, a regular sex life can be an important contributor to overall health and happiness. That said, non-genital touch, massage, hugs, holding, talking and emotional intimacy are every bit as effective as sex in terms of developing closeness and relationship trust. They just come without any fireworks at the end. As long as both partners in a relationship are open about their feelings and physical needs and both are satisfied with the frequency and quality of their sexuality, the couple can not only survive, but thrive.

Curated by Erbe

Original Article

Reasons to Have More Sex

April 9, 2015January 22, 2024 by Michael Warshauerin Sex

Ok, you don’t really need reasons, but we’ve got a few anyway! Sex isn’t just pleasurable, there are numerous physical and mental health benefits that come with it. So what are you waiting for? Follow these instructions and get busy!

9 Wordless Ways Someone Says, “I Love You”

April 13, 2015January 22, 2024 by zfortadminin LOVE

Longing to hear, “I love you” from someone special? Try watching his or her body language instead. Some 60 to 90 percent of the meaning of our communication is delivered nonverbally — and in romantic situations, this jumps to 99 percent, says anthropologist David Givens, director of the Center for Nonverbal Studies in Spokane, Washington, and author of Love Signals.

“When it comes to emotions, our bodies do the talking more than words,” Givens says.

Here are nine surprising (and wordless) ways the body telegraphs, “I love you.”

Love sign #1: Shoulder rolls or shrugs

Who knew the shoulders were one of the more expressive parts of the body? Thanks to their rounded shape, smooth skin, and ability to move — shrugging, lifting, rolling — the shoulders are able to convey emotional nuances remarkably well, Givens says. Rolling a shoulder, in particular, reads as a gesture of affection or flirtatiousness.

Unlike some other large muscles, the upper trapezius has special “gut reactive” visceral nerves that are sensitive to your emotions. (Think about how your shoulders sag in defeat and shake when you cry.) The biceps, as a contrasting example, rely on somatic nerves, which help those muscles do intentional tasks, like lift weights. “The biceps aren’t very emotionally expressive,” Givens notes.

(Ladies, try a sleeveless top on that big date to help your shoulders do the talking.)

Love sign #2: Mirroring your actions

You splay your right fingers around your coffee cup; so does he. You take a sip; he takes a sip. Anthropologists call this synchrony of actions “isopraxism” (iso being Greek for “same” andpraxism meaning “behavior”). Couples tend to do this unconsciously as they fall in love; their bodies can’t help themselves.

Mirroring behaviors are a strong element in the courtship rituals of all animals that use courtship, Givens says. A female mallard hen, for example, swims close to her male target and bobs her heads in the water until he copies her, and they do this back and forth until they mate. The behavior demonstrates that neither is threatening to the other, allowing them to get closer.

“The more alike you are, the more you like each other,” Givens says. “It strengthens your bond.”

Love sign #3: Locked eyes

If an object of attraction gazes deep into your eyes, your heart just may skip a beat. Eye contact is a potent emotional link — in ordinary circumstances, both parties feel a strong urge to break a gaze after three seconds. (People make less eye contact when they dislike each other, feel intimidated, or disagree.)

But if you like someone, you tend to hold the gaze for an extra few beats without even being aware of it. This says, “I’m really, really interested in you.”

Like most of the nonverbal communications that express love to other adults, the tendency to gaze long and hard at a beloved is rooted in the caring ways that parents treat children, Givens says. Mothers tend to gaze longer at babies than adults because they’re so interested in them and need to be attentive to them; in this way we grow up associating a long gaze with love.

Love sign #4: Sitting close by

Does your loved one move in close to you — maybe your hips touch when you sit side by side, or your knees knock into his or hers when you sit across from each other?

“Reducing the distance between you and the other person is a strong way our bodies send a message of love,” says Jamie Comstock, a professor of communication at Butler University in Indianapolis.

Someone in love almost can’t help the urge to be physically near his or her object of affection. When you’re drawn to someone, it’s almost literal: Often the body knows the attraction before any words of love have been exchanged, Comstock says.

Love sign #5: Head tilts

When you’re talking, watch your listener. Does he or she cock his or her head, either to the left or right? In a friendship, a tilted head fosters rapport. In courtship, it reads as flirtatiousness.

Leaning the head toward the shoulder connotes harmlessness and submissiveness, the Center for Nonverbal Studies’ David Givens says, which makes the relationship “softer.” As with the shoulder muscles, the muscles involved in tilting the head are controlled by visceral nerves, which are equipped to reflect emotion. A tilted head is a gesture that adds warmth and immediacy to the dialogue between you. Subtle? Yes. But like many aspects of body language, these cues speak volumes about the relationship.

Love sign #6: A fingertip caress

Being lightly, casually touched — on your shoulder, your forearm, the back of your neck, a little side hug — instantly registers in the brain as warmth and reassurance.

The emotional centers of the brain register touch more quickly than messages that come through the language center, Givens says. The touch doesn’t have to be long to register as warm and reassuring. (This kind of touch is different from having breasts or genitals touched in a nonsexual situation, which sends a confusing message rather than a simple “I love you.”)

“The presence of touch is a sign of affection because it sends a message of inclusion: I want to be closer to you,” says Butler University’s Jamie Comstock. “You can say, ‘I love you’ 30 times a day, but if you only touch the person minimally — rarely hug, kiss, or show appropriate physical affection — that ‘I love you’ will ring pretty hollow to him or her,” she says.

Best of all, touching is a shared message: “The fingertips are extremely sensitive to touch, so you get a good message right back,” Givens says.

Love sign #7: Rapid eye blinking

Is she batting her eyelashes at you? Does he look especially vulnerable and cute — because he’s blinking? The normal rate of eye blinking in humans is 20 times a minute. Faster blinking indicates emotional stress — such as when the person is attracted.

“We blink faster when excited because eyelid movements reflect bodily arousal levels established by the brain stem’s reticular activating system (RAS),” Givens says. The result: a chain reaction. Emotions from the limbic system stimulate the RAS to act on the brain to release the chemical dopamine in a part of the midbrain connected to the eyes.

A warning about reading the right message into this signal, though: A faster blink rate is also triggered when the speaker is lying.

Love sign #8: A warm smile

Smiles warm our hearts — but not any old smile is a sign of affection. What to look for: a genuine smile (called a “zygomatic smile”), the kind that can’t easily be faked because it’s produced not on demand but by pure emotion. In heartfelt smiles, the zygomaticus muscles are strongly contracted, so that corners of the mouth curve upward and the outer corners of the eyes wrinkle into crow’s feet. Pay attention to the eyes: In a genuine smile, they tend to be crinkled more tightly.

The face is more expressive than any other part of the body because all facial muscles are controlled by visceral nerves, which are connected to emotions. Some people say they can see their dog or cat smile, but these animals have little facial flexibility compared with our evolutionary kin the primates, who developed this ability in order to communicate. Reptiles, in comparison, can’t move their features at all, save to open their mouths.

Love sign #9: A higher-pitched and softer voice than usual

Notice how a parent talks to a child: The voice takes on a slightly higher, warmer tone — not loud, no edge to it. This same love-infused relationship is the model for the tone that people in love use. It’s a softer pitch than usual. “It’s innately friendly,” Given says, “and suggests a nonaggressive, nonhostile pose.”

That doesn’t mean that if your crush isn’t speaking to you in baby talk or falsetto, he or she doesn’t love you. The tone of a voice in love isn’t that exaggerated. It’s simply more loving.

The tone of voice is so important — and so revealing — because we “hear” the way words are delivered separately from how we process the words themselves. Tone of voice carries both emotion (love, hate, anger) and social information (sarcasm, superiority).

In fact, humans are so good at reading voices that you should probably trust what you hear in the tone more than the words themselves — especially when that “I love you” rolls off the tongue of the object of your affection. Comstock says, “When there’s a discrepancy between the words and the tone” — whether it’s detached, monotonal, defensive, sarcastic — “people believe the nonverbal.”

Curated by Erbe

Original Article

6 Benefits of Cuddling With Your Partner

April 15, 2015January 22, 2024 by zfortadminin Sex

Making time to cuddle with your spouse before and after great sex can do wonders for your marriage.

Did you know that your skin is the largest organ on your body? Well it is and because it is you should be using it to benefit your marriage.

When your skin is in contact with your spouse’s skin through cuddling you will connect at a deeper level. This could be emotionally, spiritually, or physically.

Cuddling releases the hormone oxytocin, “the feel-good hormone”, which can lead to overall happiness.

It also releases endorphins, which are the same hormones that are released during a good workout.

Get ready because it’s time to enjoy cuddling with your spouse.

6 Benefits of Cuddling With Your Spouse

Improve Communication

Non-verbal communication makes up 93% of how you and your spouse interact with each other. By cuddling together there’s talk without the words.

Reduces Blood Pressure & Stress

The act of cuddling increase oxytocin “the feel-good” hormone”, which in turn reduces the risk of heart disease and stress levels. This can lower the chance of headaches and other ailments.

Sleep Better

Making time to cuddle with your spouse will help you sleep better. Recent studies have shown that cuddling may lower levels of Cortisol, which is released in response to stress. Less Cortisol in your body means better sleep for you.

Heightened Foreplay

To often you may go for the gusto when it comes to foreplay. Instead strip down and enjoy that skin on skin contact before moving forward. Allow yourself to physically be present in the moment as you bond, build trust, and companionship.

No Distractions

Take back your bedroom! Remember what your bed is intend for. Leave the book, TV, phone, tablet, and other items out of your bedroom. Cuddling helps to focus in on the two of you and not all the other stuff.

Improved Satisfaction

When couples engage in non-sexual touches regularly they are more satisfied in their marriage than those who don’t. (2006 Study by the Berman Center for Women’s Health in Chicago)

It’s now time for you to Cuddle Up in your marriage.

You have a deep desire to feel loved, to be connected at a deeper level.

It’s time to start doing the little things that make up that big thing called LOVE. Best of all cuddling is free!

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Overseas Lovers & Secondary Adolescence

April 21, 2015January 22, 2024 by Alexandra Norrisin LOVE2 Comments

Moving overseas has a tendency to feel like a second adolescence. You wipe the slate and have a chance to try on different versions of yourself. It can be quite daunting navigating what feels like being an adult teenager. It is a cycle of losing and finding yourself until you find the right fit. If you choose to return to your nest from battle, you may find you are comforted by familiarity and perspective. Then, should you decide to return to where you did all your growing and shifting, you get to double down on new perspectives.

Here is my story on my second adolescence and some of the relationships I experienced.

I had a thing for Bens* around the time I moved to Australia. My first Ben came to me when I found my first apartment in Melbourne. My friends brought him along I was a little tipsy and I liked the way his beard felt, so I invited him to stay and promptly passed out. He was a perfect gentleman. We dated for four months (a good beard can get you places, apparently). He took me out for food, we wore sweatpants a lot, smoked marijuana, he taught me to play some music and we jammed together and we watched the TV show Weeds and had pretty fantastic sex. I met his family for passover and they were fantastic. After a while some cracks started to show. One day I felt homesick and I cried. His overwhelming sympathy consisted of a trip to his local pub and an invitation to stay behind if I felt like it. Another day, I found out my cat had died on my way to a football game with him, and I cried. He repeated the drill by walking a full meter in front of me while I wept and then we went to the game.

At a certain point, I realized I had never really felt fully connected to Ben #1, but I felt comfortable in those sweatpants, and was ever so far from home. I needed it.

My second Ben came after I left to do some travelling and working around the country. I came back to Melbourne a little shell shocked from some deep spiritual digging. I ended up at a party, and was chatted up by one of the coolest-looking Bens I’ve ever met. He was laid back, wore a winter hat even though it was warm. He worked at a cool bar and liked the same cool music I was into. He also made me feel very cool. He sent me a text before the night was over and took me out for dinner later in the week. He saw a photo of me with my mother in my wallet and told me I looked hot as though I should know it, which was not a feeling I was accustomed to, but it was very nice. We made out and he was the best kisser I had ever met until that point. I felt high when he pressed his lips against mine. He swept me off my feet about as swiftly as he ditched me for being “too intense.” Fair enough (a phrase he would exhaust even in the short time we knew one another). Everything felt more intense so far from home. Adolescence has a tendency to be a bit intense and I was on my second round of it.

It was at this point that I found a local hot yoga studio and discovered that they were offering a special discount for people insane enough to do it every day for a month, they even let me keep going for two months. I threw myself into hot breathing and stretching on the daily, and also discovered in Melbourne you can see a relationship counsellor on a weekly basis and payment is on a sliding scale. So if you were broke, like I had been, it was free. I recommend this for everyone who takes up a new life overseas. I started to feel functional as a human again and unpacked all of my baggage while not having to burden my friends with my anxious thought.

My counsellor reached out to me after I left Australia for home and told me she had moved on to another facility and told me that her own experiences mirrored some of my own. It was touching to learn that even the people meant to fix you can have their own version of the experiences that have felt so impactful.

A year outside of your comfort zone, meeting your own Bens and having some uncomfortable growing pains can provide cathartic benefits. Taking healthy risks affects our emotional intelligence in a way that is as unique and wonderful as it is terrifying. Go find your Bens and come back and tell me about it. I’ve moved on to other names but would love to hear about yours.

*Names have been changed.

Dating Rules for the 21st Century

April 28, 2015January 22, 2024 by Lorraine Rockin DATING ADVICE, LOVE

Does anybody actually date any more? It seems that dating rules may be an outmoded concept, but perhaps they shouldn’t be. Even if the way people meet in the electronic era may be quite different from 50 years ago, people still do meet, hang out and eventually pair up.

In 2012 a national survey published by a CDC affiliate concluded that though “people are marrying for the first time at older ages, and many adults co-habit with a partner”. In 2006–2010, the probability of first marriage by age 25 was still 44% for women ( a decrease of 25% from 1995) and by age 35 the probability of first marriage was 78% , by age 40 there was no significant change.

It would seem obvious that people are still finding love, and most of them still date, hang out or hook-up first.

Since it would seem that more people live together before marriage, and eventually marry (not necessarily the person they lived with, according to the data), does this mean that people are more sophisticated in their dating habits, or just more choosy? The third option is that people are just taking longer to grow up and take on adult responsibilities.

Updating the guidelines for how to meet a partner – and let’s face it, that’s what we are doing, however long it may last – probably has more to do with how we meet that when.

In the recent past, probably still in your parents’ generation, most people met through work, friends or family. Someone actually knew the person you met. (Of course there have always been casual hook-ups in bars or at parties, but these encounters were less likely to produce an actual date!). In the electronic age people have a much wider menu of options, in addition to the traditional ones, all of these options still need some navigating, and a road map (or GPS) is always useful.

Many cautionary tales have been written already on being careful how we meet through electronic media, and I won’t re-state them here. In fact, these rules fall into some logical groups:

Always find out who you are really speaking to;
Meet first in a public place;
Be yourself, but be sparing with personal information.

These guidelines actually make logical sense no matter how you meet!

Now that we’ve met, how do we present ourselves? What are the guidelines for behaviour in the modern era? Dating rules for previous generations had people putting on their very best selves, and presenting a persona that probably did not exist at all. I would suggest that this is actually a recipe for failure. As the song lyric goes “be yourself”, not every date turns into a romance, but could be the possibility of a new friendship.

Trying to find out how compatible you are, without sounding like you are interviewing for a mate, can be tricky. Using a tactic from the business world may help here. Active listening, as opposed to just hearing, means paying attention to what the person is saying, and giving gentle prompts, to keep them talking. I am a natural blabbermouth, so I know how hard this can be for some of us. Sure the other party wants to know about you, but dole it out in small doses, they don’t need to know everything on the first date.

It has been said that charismatic personalities have a knack of making the other person feel fascinating, as though they are the only person in the room. They do this largely through making eye contact (not staring, that just creepy!) and paying attention, i.e. Active Listening!

This also means that you learn a lot more about the other person, and they will probably find you fascinating too. Hopefully they will also listen when its your turn, but if they don’t that will give you some valuable insights into their personality as well.

Our parents had rules about how far to “go” on dates. Though this may seem old-fashioned it had it’s merits. Getting to know someone before falling into bed with them has been shown to lead to a better relationship. Introducing sex into the equation too soon may lead to the intimacy taking over. Its not about prudery, but caution. If the sex is mind-blowing, then that’s probably all you will do! ( Many couples have found that when good sex wanes there isn’t anything else.) If the encounter is less than stellar it will probably lead to a quick end to any kind of relationship, and you may lose the opportunity to make a new friend.

Making a new friend may sound like a boring goal for dating, but it has been shown that having friends, of both genders, leads to a happier and more fulfilling life. Keeping the initial dates light and friendly takes the “shopping for a mate” aspect out of the way, and may actually lead to a better experience.

Continuing with that theme, what do you do on a first date? Experts suggest that you meet for coffee, or at best lunch. This places fewer expectations on both parties, and limits the amount of time you spend together. Most people find that you know almost immediately if there is a reason to meet again. Trust your instincts, this is the theory on which Speed-Dating is based. In the business world it is said that you make a decision about a candidate in the first six seconds! That may be extreme, not everyone is a star right out of the gate.

So who pays? Accoring to old-fashioned etiquette, s/he who made the invitation should pay. Of course if you are just meeting for coffee or lunch it probably isn’t a big question. After the first date I would suggest you do what you would do with a friend of the same gender, split the check, or offer to pay – and “you can get it next time”.

As far as continuing the relationship, how about deciding if there is going to be a next time, at the time? I may be naive, but honesty really is the best policy. If you just didn’t hit it off, don’t agree to meet again, and guys, please, drop the “I’ll call you” line if you don’t mean it! A simple , “it was a pleasure to meet you, see you around” should get the message across.

References:

His Past Didn’t Destroy a Chance at Love

May 4, 2015January 22, 2024 by Dan Madoniain LOVE

My name is Dan Madonia and I am in an adult relationship. Which if you don’t know me is an incredible feat. Before my girlfriend, there were things I would do for a sandwich that I wouldn’t do for someone of the fairer sex. I wasn’t exactly sensitive to those around me, a girl once broke up with me and I didn’t even know we were dating (which is the ultimate situation of not knowing what you got until its gone.)

My parents weren’t the best of examples either, my father is a touring professional comedian who my mother only had sex with ONCE and didn’t let me know he was the father until I was twelve years old. I wouldn’t say that I have daddy issues though; the presence of my mother screwed me up way more than the absence of my father. My mother is a retired adult entertainer with more credits than I can list. Which is a hard nut for a lot of people to swallow. Most people have trouble coming to grips with the fact that their parents had even had sex once, I had to come grips with that’s how my toys were paid for. That will make you think twice before asking for stuff for Christmas. I wasn’t completely left without a father figure though, my mom did hook up with her acid dealer when I was two years old and they embarked on what can only be explained as a twenty-year case of Stockholm syndrome. Who the actual hostage was though, is still up for interpretation.

With that tremendous backing cast. you are ultimately going to end up a little screwed up and come up with a few twisted theories on what love and relationships are like. I grew up believing that relationships were like driving in the carpool lane.

1.) You can’t do it alone,

2.) There are heavy fines for getting in and out at the wrong time and

3.) Once you are in it you are sitting there watching everyone else go by, thinking “What the hell? This was supposed to be better.”

Thinking like this is not the best way to end up running down the aisle. But here I am, in an adult relationship with everything that comes complete in the adult relationship do-it-yourself kit like a dog, decorative soap and re-runs of Everybody Loves Raymond. How does that happen?

Get over it.

It is the answer for everything. Get over it. Its not easy and I know this but in order for any relationship to succeed both people are going to have things to get over. For my girlfriend and me it was my past thoughts but for you it might be someone’s sleep apnea machine, someone’s technology obsession, someone’s mean Doberman or someone’s Doberman-like mother. Of course you aren’t going to be able to get over everything instantly but that is what a relationship is about, bringing two perspectives together and making each of yourselves better. There are going to be fights and bumps in the road but if you truly love one another you will be able to see from your partner’s eyes and get through your problems. For example, earlier this week my girlfriend was mad at me because I am immature, but all at the same time I was mad at her because she isn’t a power ranger…In the end we both had to get over it.

10 Things Women Don’t Know About Their Bodies

May 4, 2015January 22, 2024 by zfortadminin Sex

How well do you know your body?

Bras fit differently depending on the stage of their Menstrual Cycle.
Consuming a lot of sugar can make you more prone to Yeast Infections.
Women permanently have full breasts, other mammals only have full breasts when they are breastfeeding.
Stay well hydrated can help keep your vagina lubricated it might help your vagina have a milder smell and taste.
Cranberries might be beneficial to your bladder. They can keep bacteria from sticking to the walls of your bladder.
Some women can feel when they are ovulating. It’s a pain felt only on one side in the abdominal area.
Wearing high heels might cause bunions. Bone growth develops on the base joint of the large toe, causing the big toe to angle in.
Women are born with 1 million immature eggs in their ovaries but only 300 – 500 of them will mature between the first period and menopause.

Curated by Erbe
Original Video

Dating Cycles: Honeymoon Phase Vs. Comfort Stage

May 5, 2015January 22, 2024 by zfortadminin RELATIONSHIPS

3rd Date Vs 30th Date

The beginning of a relationship is full of romantic, sweet moments. But what happens after you both get comfortable?

It’s All Relative: Meeting the Parents

May 5, 2015January 22, 2024 by Frankie Symmsin DATING ADVICE, LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

Whether you’ve been hot and heavy with your new main squeeze for a couple of months or a couple of years, meeting the parents is stressful for everyone. Your partner is hoping you get along with his entire network of relatives. His family is hoping you’re not too weird/crazy/mean to be dating him. You’re just trying to hold it all together. Luckily, with a little foresight and planning, you can ensure an easy introduction that works for everyone.

Do the homework.

If you’ve only been on a few dates with your honey, you might want to hold off on meeting Mom, Dad, and the rest of the gang until you get a sense of how he or she gets along with everyone. Do they talk and text everyday, or do they only get together at major holidays? Is there major drama with his older brother or her younger sister? Do they just not talk about long-lost Uncle Terry, or are conspiracy theories welcome? Also remember, if you’re being pressed to meet the family before you’re ready, be sure to let your partner know that you need time to get to know him or her better before you can meet everyone else.

Start small.

If your partner is set on you being his plus one at a big family wedding or this year’s multi-generational reunion, suggest that you meet a smaller group of his relatives to start out, especially if you’re shy or overwhelm easily in large groups. Meeting just your partner’s parents or siblings can give you a sense of their family dynamic without the added pressure of participating in a bouquet toss or three-legged race. Plus, you offer them the opportunity to really get to know you as a person, rather than as your date’s arm candy–it will make introductions at bigger family functions easier for everyone involved.

Set yourself up for success.

Encourage your partner to choose a meetup situation that works for everyone. After all, he knows everyone involved. Suggest avoiding passive activities, like attending a movie or sporting event, where conversation isn’t the focus. Sharing a meal, meeting for drinks, and other low-key social activities are best.

When the big day finally arrives, do everything you can to ensure a smooth introduction. Get a good night’s sleep, eat well, exercise–do whatever it is that helps you be your best self. Be polite and respectful, and follow your partner’s lead. Avoid discussing religion, politics, and other hot- button topics for the time being. Be sure to give everyone a basic picture of who you are. Tell them about your hometown, your work, and your hobbies. Keep it friendly and light–humor is your friend here.

Give honest feedback to your partner.

After you’ve both made it through the first meeting, take the time to check in with your partner. Let her know what you liked or didn’t like about the family, or ways that she behaved when she was with them that are red flags for you. If your relationship is getting serious, it’s important that decide together about what kind of family interactions are acceptable, and whether the two of you see eye-to-eye on how you fit into one another’s families. And don’t forget to emphasize the positives you experienced with his family–remembering the moments that worked alongside the moments that didn’t will go a long way toward figuring out the best way to build your relationships with family as a couple.

Sexual Fantasies You’ll Both Love

May 5, 2015January 22, 2024 by zfortadminin Sex

Because a sex life filled with imagination is a better one.

Whether you’ve been together for two years or sixteen, you know how important passion is in your relationship. But did you know how key fantasies are in having a happy relationship? Being able to communicate your desires to your partner, keep things new and add imagination to sex will do wonders for you—both in the bedroom and outside.

And you’re not alone: About 95 percent of people report that they have sexual fantasies. According to a study conducted at the University of Granada, “women have pleasant romantic fantasies more frequently than men—a few times a month. Men, however, fantasize more frequently about sexcapades involving “being promiscuous”, “being a swinger”,”participating in an orgy.”

But don’t let these preferences hold you back, there are tons of fantasies to try with your significant other. Shares your desires, experiment and discover out what works best for you both as a couple.

You may surprise yourself—and get closer to your partner in the process.

1. Boss & Employee Fantasy
Just a few months ago, we told you that 56 percent of women and 61 percent of men have sexual fantasies about getting it on with coworkers in their office. So why not dress up in your work attire, get behind the desk and re-create the hot new hookup scenario that’s been on your mind? The allure of having sex with a coworker, especially your boss has to do with power—gaining it.

2. Ravishment Fantasy
According to a study from UCLA, 64 percent of women fantasize about this passionate and forceful kind of love. Why? Researchers felt that by imagining the man telling her what to do, the woman is able to give herself “permission to do the raunchy, hot sex stuff she feels a little embarrassed about, but deep down really does want to try.”

Now does the Fifty Shades Of Grey frenzy make more sense to you? YourTango expert Tammy Nelson explains that being ravished makes sense on an anatomical level for women, too. “A woman has to physically let go in order to orgasm.”

3. Storybook Lover Fantasy
This fantasy is more based on love that can be found in romance novels than the kind that takes place in the Victorian era. See how one woman’s sex dream came true when she told her boyfriend about her Clark Kent fantasy.

4. Be An Exhibitionist
In his study of sexual fantasy, Who’s Been Sleeping in Your Head?, Brett Kahr found 19 percent of people fantasize about being watched during sex — and another 5 percent fantasize about taking it off in public. In for the risk? Put on a show. Get it on near the windows in your home or hotel room.

5. Be Voyeuristic
Does watching the show from the sidelines turn you on? Whether you’re spying on the neighbors or the couple getting it on at the beach, this fantasy is a common one. One easy way to make it happen? Go to nude beach or a sex show with your partner.

6. Watch Each Other Masturbate
Put a twist on your voyeuristic fantasy by watching your partner masturbate — or let them watch you. It will help them understand more of what you desire, and of course, it’s an instant turn on.

7. The Stranger Fantasy
Sharing a fantasy for the very first time? Here’s an easy one both men and women enjoy. There’s something sexy and mysterious about anonymity. In fact, the LELO Global Sex Survey discovered that having sex with a stranger is on the rise this year. Easy way to get in on the trend? Turn yourselves into strangers. For as long as you’ve known your partner, pretend you don’t. Different clothes, new hairstyles, different personalities, different names. Start by meeting at the bar and then take your new friend home — keep in character the entire time.

8. Make A Sex Video
Listen up, fellas, while you may be the more visual sex, women are interested in porn, too. A Stanford University study found that women reach peak arousal after just two minutes into an erotic flick. According to Men’s Health, it’s not just celebrities who want to make sex tapes — 40 percent of women want to made a homemade flick with their partners. In 2012, 28 percent of women made a sex video with their guy and in 2014, that number is expected to climb to 52 percent. So get on it while it’s hot. After you watch it make sure to hide it safely or quickly delete it.

9. Threesome Fantasy
Want to get it on with your partner and a another man or woman? Threesomes are a popular one — and they’re even more trendy this year. The LELO study revealed that this year, 20 percent of women will have had a threesome. Some say they love the rush and added stimuli, where as others worry about jealousy and feeling overwhelmed. See what women had to say about their experiences and talk it over with your partner to see if it’s right for you.

10. Have Sex In Public
According to Men’s Health, 64 percent of women want to step outside the bedroom and get frisky in public. It makes sense, the rush, risk of getting caught — it all adds to your experience. Talk about where you both feel comfortable doing the deed, whether it’s an elevator or bathroom.

11. Have Sex Outside
Want the thrill of getting it on outside the bedroom but want to decrease your chances of actually getting caught? Embrace the elements and try doing it in a secluded area outside at night. The grass, the sand, the pool, the great outdoors is your sex playground.

12. Have Sex On An Airplane
Been there, done that with the whole public sex thing? Take it to the next level by joining the mile-high club. According to Men’s Health, 51 percent of women want to get it on up in the air. Take off!

13. Use Sex Toys
What do women really want? Well, studies are leading us to believe it has something to do with blindfolds, handcuffs, vibrators and enhanced orgasms. According to the LELO survey, 76 percent of women want to use their toys with their partner. And ladies, don’t be embarrassed to ask about unleashing the toys. The survey found that 89 percent of men would be happy to use them. And it’s not just for your benefit? Sixty-eight percent of couples both climax during intercourse with sex toys.

14. Visit The Strip Club
Thought the nudie bar was dudes-only? Think again. According to Men’s Health, 47 percent of women want to visit a strip club with their guy. It’s exciting, sexy and you’ll be there together. Not sure if it’s your thing? Find one with a twist, like this Vegan strip club in Portland. Lap dance for two, please.

15. Dominate
Power is a rush, there’s no doubt about it. Many women dream about having a man obey their every wish, so why not unleash your inner dominatrix and try it out in the bedroom? You can do this by simply calling all the shots or make commands with whips, handcuffs, etc. Either way, you’ll be in total control and he’ll be completely devoted. Win, win.

16. Be Dominated
On the reverse, many women fantasize about being submissive and losing control to their partner. Again, think Fifty Shades Of Grey. Why is it so popular aside from Christian Grey’s charming ways? Well, actually it has to do will feeling desired. In 2009 University of Kansas study, it was discovered that “forceful submission fantasies” aren’t about humiliation but are instead “a passionate exchange with a powerful, resource-holding and attentive suitor.”

17. Teacher/Student Fantasy
There’s a reason “Hit Me Baby One More Time” was such a popular music video —and we’re going to guess it wasn’t because of Britney Spears’ vocal chords. The schoolgirl fantasy can involve dominance and spanking, but it doesn’t have to. For some, it’s sexy outfit to rip off.

18. Knight In Shining Armor Fantasy
Romantic? This is the fantasy for you. Whether he’s a fireman saving you from a smoky room, or a life guard carrying you out from the ocean — in this fantasy your guy comes to your rescue and then seduces you.

19. Put On A Strip Show
Guys will surely love this one. But for the ladies, it’s just as enjoyable. You get to put on your sexiest lingerie, take it off and tease him in the process, private lap dance included. The woman will have control and the man will be turned on and begging for more.

20. Bring Food Into The Bedroom
Ice, fruit, whipped cream, you name it, it can all enhance your sexual experience. Seduce your partner with foodplay and hit their erogenous zones in the process.

21. A Man In Uniform Fantasy
Love a man in uniform? For some, it’s the clothes and for others it’s their courage. According to Psychologist and Relationship Expert, Dr. Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D., “The ‘uniform’ may signify that the man is able to manage life’s troubles.” Have your partner dress the part and play the role.

22. Play Doctor
Sick and the only way to fully recover is with an orgasm? Doctor to the rescue.

23. Act Out Your Favorite Sex Scene From A Movie
Get into character and re-create your favorite cinematic sex scene. Whether it’s Basic Instinct or a celebrity sex tape, discuss the scene with your partner and get ready for an Academy Award-winning performance.

24. Give Each Other Sensual Massages
Remember when one woman got a happy ending massage? This year, sales of couples’ massagers increased by 82 percent. Get with it and make your partner melt with an arousing rub down. Need some pointers?

24. Try Erotic Spanking
Why do people love kinky butt-smacking? Aside from the physical pleasure, Pleasure Mechanics explains some “love erotic spanking for the taboo thrill of it.” Here’s how to talk to your partner about whipping you into shape.

25. Personal Trainer Fantasy
Hate working out? Here’s a way to enjoy it. One of you is the personal trainer and the other is the obedient trainee. For Alison Z, it’s her go-to bedroom persona, “When he asks me to get on the ground and give him 20, I’d drop to my knees and give him something else … ”

26. Hot Mechanic Fantasy
For Brianna S, hooking up with the shirtless hottie covered in grease is her bedroom fantasy. “He would take me to the back seat and get to work under the hood of something else. Let’s just say by the time we’re done … the car repairs are on him.”

27. Sex On A Boat
Want to get it on out in the middle of the ocean? Well, I’m guessing you’re a Leonardo DiCaprio fan. But even if you’re not on Titanic-like ship or a Wolf Of Wall Street yacht, there’s still an opportunity to get down and dirty when you set sail. And you’re not the only one with the nautical fantasy. Match.com’s Singles In America survey revealed that 50 percent of singles hope to have sex on boats.

28. Use Feathers
Whether you choose to be tied up or not, have your partner tease you with the light touch of a feather.

29. Try Group Sex
Certainly not everyone’s fantasy but if you enjoy threesomes and are curious about bringing more partners into the bedroom, this might be one a thrilling and liberating ones to explore.

30. Hotel Maid Fantasy
Maybe it’s the allure of being on vacation but hotel sex is exciting and liberating, which may be why the maid fantasy is a hot one. Can’t make it to the hotel? With a sexy maid costume and knock from “housekeeping”, you can re-ignite the spark in no time.

What I Learnt About Sex from Game of Thrones

May 6, 2015January 22, 2024 by Jules Thompsonin Sex

A week ago, I intended to write an article about tantric sex. Then I started watching season one of Game of Thrones. Now, and until I’ve caught up on seasons two, three and four, my boyfriend will be lucky if we have any sex at all, let alone sex of the tantric variety, which, let’s face it, takes ages.
Fortunately, my complete immersion in Game of Thrones has not precluded sexual exploration, because the show is bursting with nooky. If you find yourself watching one of the rare scenes with no sexual content, all you have to do is close your eyes, count to 60, and when you open them again, you will almost certainly be confronted with a nice pair of buttocks or breasts. If the plot does not permit any of the main actors to be naked at this particular time, the producers will have festooned the scene with a handful of naked extras (if Game of Thrones teaches us one thing, it is that serious political conversation and semi-clad prostitutes are by no means mutually exclusive).

For someone who likes to talk (a lot), I’m surprisingly coy when it comes to having serious conversations about sex within my relationships. Rather than be explicit about what I want, I tend to try to prod my partners in the right direction. Sometimes this works, sometimes not; often this approach results in me, and possibly them, settling for something that’s not quite right.

But after watching Game of Thrones at my boyfriend’s side, I thought its content could be a good springboard for some more direct chat – we were watching sex, so why not talk about it?

I began with a question about the apparently favored position of men doing it in made-up medieval Westeros: ‘Do you think they did doggy style more back then, or are the producers trying to make a point?’ (We were on episode three, and Daenerys had just succumbed to her first, and not very nice, experience of marital love.) There followed a brief debate on the extent to which the sexual content of Game of Thrones was well-researched. Our conclusion: not very. But, shortly after, my question was answered by the events unfolding on screen. Daenerys, keen to make her bow-legged husband happy, learns a few tricks from her slave, and, soon she is riding Drogo like the lady she is. On top.

And he likes it!

My next question brought the topic back round to us: ‘Do you like doing it doggy style?’

‘Sometimes,’ the boy slapped and squeezed my bum, ‘when I’m feeling like a Dothraki’.

‘But what’s your favourite position,’ I asked, confident that I already knew the answer.

‘On top.’

I wanted to be sure we were on the same page, ‘You or me?’

‘Me,’ he said.

And this was unexpected. Because everything I had observed during the two plus years of our relationship had told me otherwise. ‘But I thought you liked it best when I was on top…’

‘I do,’ he clarified, ‘at the end. But I like starting with me on top’.

This was interesting. ‘Why?’

‘Because I like doing what I want for a bit.’

This answer shouldn’t have surprised me (not least, because his reason for liking being on top is exactly the same as mine), but it did, because we hardly ever do it missionary style. I wondered why he had never mentioned this to me before, but, of course, I already knew the answer: the fact was, I had never asked.

Now I know that this reluctance to talk about the finer details of sex cannot be restricted to me. I have talked about sex on stage and at work, with friends and complete strangers. I reckon I have pretty relaxed boundaries when it comes to discussing matters of the body, but I still find it hard to say: this is what I want from you, now what do you want from me? Until now, I’ve not thought much about how to change this. When I came across articles about being vocal in bed, I would think with a touch of regret, ‘That’s just not me,’ before moving on to the next one. But what these articles are often lacking are tips on how to initiate these oh-so-personal conversations. Game of Thrones has taught me that, by talking about the sex we see on TV, we can find a more natural way into talking about our own sex lives.

Last night the boy and I had sex. He took the lead, and I got a lot of pleasure from knowing that, this time, we were doing what he wanted – not just for a bit, but the whole way through. The pace of our sex was slightly different; for once, he stayed on top throughout, and, for both of us, it felt great.

Afterwards I asked him if he knew why it had been so good.

He thought for a second, ‘Because we haven’t done it for ages?’

I shook my head, ‘Because of Game of Thrones’.

He wasn’t convinced. But I knew…

5 Habits that will Prevent You from Getting Married

May 7, 2015January 22, 2024 by zfortadminin DATING ADVICE, LOVE

Are you standing in your own way of love?

Marriage is one of the most important decision in the life of every person and according to relationship experts, harmless habits can make people lonely and prevent them from getting married.

Sometimes highly successful and healthy people often cannot find a real love and get married, because it’s hard to make a right decision in this complicated and artificial world.

Your inability to find a life partner may lie within you, maybe there is something within your subconsciousness that make people walk away from commitment with you.

Diana White of Womanitely lists those 5 unconscious habits:

They’re afraid of reality: I think that people who’re afraid of reality will never get married if they do nothing to overcome this fear. It’s been proved that every human being is afraid of reality in a varying degree and it’s absolutely normal, because fear is a natural response to danger. But when these fears and deep-seated phobias take over, people become unable to take risks and responsibilities. A bit later these too sensitive and emotional personalities become the victims of their active imagination. I think that this weakness should be eliminated at earliest convenience. Every woman yearns to get married with emotionally strong and self-confident man. Diffident personalities should once and for all realize that life is a constant struggle. If you want to reach success in either marriage or career, you should be ready to take up the running and face harsh realities of life with you head held high.
They prefer to be passive lazybones: In most cases lonely people are passive lazybones. The pursuit of happiness and self-cultivation aren’t their pair of shoes. They don’t try to take the initiative, but want to take the best things from life. If they believe that they’ll eventually get married, then their chances are limited. Nothing in this life happens eventually. Life is a dynamic thing that requires people to be extremely active and productive. If you want other successful people to notice your talents, beauty and the depth of your rich inner world, you should open up and do your best to express yourself. But how can you meet a wonderful partner if you enjoy aimless passive pastime cooped up in your house? I’m sure that every lazybones can become an interesting and attractive person, if they finally get involved in different activities and find friends with common interests.
They’re too judgmental: Nowadays many people have incredibly high standards, especially when it comes to personal life and marriage. Sometimes human principles don’t let people think rationally, but provoke them to judge others for their failures and weaknesses. People who don’t take any effort to find a compromise will never get married, because a healthy marriage is always based on mutual understanding and respect. Wise people say that sometimes it’s necessary to keep silent if you’re at odds with your partner. It will help you keep your love relationship healthy and strong. Furthermore, women should keep in mind that their habit of blaming their partners for low incomes can seriously damage man’s self-esteem. As a result, deep-seated contentment in man’s heart can gradually chill the ardor of his love. By all means, try not to offend people around you and you’ll be able to get married in a quite short period of time.
They dedicate their life to career: Workaholism has become one of the most difficult and actual problems of a modern world. This problem has a lot of advantages and disadvantages. Do you believe that workaholism can make you a happy person? If a successful career is the top priority in your life, then sooner or later, you’ll achieve a desirable result. All you have to do is throw yourself into this work and live for it. Unfortunately, between two stools you fall to the ground. If you choose career, then you should be ready to sacrifice your health and love. Almost all workaholics find it difficult to build and maintain happy relationships, because they work and think only about their projects 24 hours a day. They have no time for love and romance.
They cry for the moon: Today both men and women have blurred vision of reality. It seems to me that ladies still believe that one day a wonderful knight in shining armor will appear and win their hearts. Men waste valuable time looking for a bachelor’s wife. It’s high time to get rid of this pointless habit and finally realize that perfect people do exist only in your imagination. The only way to find a suitable partner is to set realistic goals. You need to be sure that your dreams and desires coincide with reality. If you’re dreaming to get married with Johnny Depp by all means, then your private life is in danger.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

7 Ways to Make Sure Your Partner Never Loses Interest in You

May 19, 2015January 22, 2024 by zfortadminin DATING ADVICE

Do you want to ignite that passionate spark back in your relationship?

Often times you hear of married couple slowly drifting apart , then the senseless arguments arise and they stop sleeping sleeping together, next on the list will be divorce.

You wonder what happened to these couples who were once so happy together, the good news is that it never has to be this way in your own case.

Holly Riordan of All Women Stalk lists these 7 ways to make sure couples never lose interest in each other:

1. Be Spontaneous: After you’ve been together for a while, you’ll fall into a certain routine. You’ll see each other on certain days, go to certain restaurants, and hang out with certain #people. While there’s nothing wrong with developing a routine, you have to break it every once in a while. Surprise him with reservations for a restaurant in a different town or buy him tickets for a show in the city. Do whatever you can to keep him on his toes.

2. Keep up appearances: You don’t have to wear #makeup every morning and toss out every pair of sweat-pants you own. However, you should occasionally dress nicely just for him. Buy some lingerie or a new dress that he won’t be able to take his #eyes off of. If you’re with the right #man, he’ll return the favor by buying something for himself to wear that you’ll adore.

3. Never stop learning: This one is essential, not only for your #relationship, but for yourself. If you’ve been with your #man for years, then he’ll eventually have nothing left to learn about you–unless you keep trying new things. Join a class or take a trip. That way, you’ll be living a life you enjoy and will constantly have new #things for him to learn about you.

4. Have your own friends: Don’t let your man become your entire life. If he sees that you have plenty of friends that love spending #time with you, he’ll realize how lucky he is to have you and won’t lose interest. That’s why it’s important to organize your time–because you want to have a social life that doesn’t involve your #man.

5. Continue dating: If you act like a boring old married couple, then you’ll start to feel that way. That’s why you need to continue to go out on dates. It’ll give you a #chance to dress up, show each other off in public, and have flirty conversations. If you want your #relationship to stay interesting, you have to act like you’re still in the honeymoon phase, even when you’ve been together for decades.

6. Give him what he wants: You aren’t his slave, so you don’t have to wait on him hand and foot. However, he won’t lose interest in you if you always surprise him by doing something special. If you know he loves cheesecake, pick him up a slice on the way home from work. If you know he hates taking out the garbage, do it for him after he had a rough day.

7. Never lose interest in him: If you don’t want him to lose interest in you, then you can’t lose interest in him. If you’re both happy to be involved in each other’s lives, then you won’t have a problem. You’ll always be excited to spend #time together.

Curated by Erbe
Original Source