Why We Fail in Today’s Relationships

September 2, 2016January 22, 2024 by zfortadminin LOVE

Why are relationships so hard today? Why do we fail at love every time, despite trying so hard?

Why have humans suddenly become so inept at making relationships last? Have we forgotten how to love? Or worse, forgotten what love is?

We’re not prepared. We’re not prepared for the sacrifices, for the compromises, for the unconditional love. We’re not ready to invest all that it takes to make a relationship work. We want everything easy. We’re quitters. All it takes is a single hurdle to make us crumble to our feet. We don’t let our love grow, we let go before time.

It’s not love we’re looking for, only excitement and thrill in life. We want someone to watch movies and party with, not someone who understands us even in our deepest silences. We spend time together, we don’t make memories. We don’t want the boring life. We don’t want a partner for life, just someone who can make us feel alive right now, this very instant. When the excitement fades, we discover nobody ever prepared us for the mundane. We don’t believe in the beauty of predictability because we’re too blinded by the thrill of adventure.

We immerse ourselves in the inconsequentials of the city life, leaving no space for love. We don’t have time to love, we don’t have the patience to deal with relationships. We’re busy people chasing materialistic dreams and there’s no scope to love. Relationships are nothing more than convenience.

We look for instant gratification in everything we do – the things we post online, the careers we choose, and the people we fall in love with. We want the maturity in a relationship that comes with time, the emotional connect that develops over years, that sense of belonging when we barely even know the other person. Apparently, nothing’s worth our time and patience – not even love.

We’d rather spend an hour each with a hundred people than spending a day with one. We believe in having ‘options’. We’re ‘social’ people. We believe more in meeting people than getting to know them. We’re greedy. We want to have everything. We get into relationships at the slightest attraction and step out, the moment we find someone better. We don’t want to bring out the best in that one person. We want them to be perfect. We date a lot of people but rarely give any of them a real chance. We’re disappointed in everyone.

Technology has brought us closer, so close that it’s impossible to breathe. Our physical presence has been replaced by texts, voice messages, snapchats and video calls. We don’t feel the need to spend time together anymore. We have too much of each other already. There’s nothing left to talk about.

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You Fail in Relationships: Why?

September 7, 2016January 22, 2024 by zfortadminin LOVE

Why are relationships so hard today? Why do we fail at love every time, despite trying so hard?

Why have humans suddenly become so inept at making relationships last? Have we forgotten how to love? Or worse, forgotten what love is?

Pages: 1 2

You Fail in Relationships: Why?

November 7, 2016January 22, 2024 by zfortadminin LOVE

Why are relationships so hard today? Why do we fail at love every time, despite trying so hard?

Why have humans suddenly become so inept at making relationships last? Have we forgotten how to love? Or worse, forgotten what love is?

We’re a generation of ‘wanderers’ who wouldn’t stay at one place for too long. Everyone is commitment phobic. We believe we’re not meant for relationships. We don’t want to settle down. Even the thought of it is scary. We cannot imagine being with one person for the rest of our lives. We walk away. We despise permanence like it’s some social evil. We like to believe we’re ‘different’ than the rest. We like to believe we don’t conform to social norms.

We’re a generation that calls itself ‘sexually liberated’. We can tell sex apart from love, or so we think. We’re the hook-up-break-up generation. We have sex first and then decide if we want to love someone. Sex comes easy, loyalty doesn’t. Getting laid has become the new getting drunk. You do it not because you love the other person, but because you want to feel good. It’s all the temporary fulfillment we need. Sex outside relationships isn’t a taboo anymore. Relationships aren’t that simple anymore. There are open relationships, friends with benefits, casual flings, one-night stands, no strings attached – we’ve left very little exclusivity for love in our lives.

We’re the practical generation who runs by logic alone. We don’t know how to love madly anymore. We wouldn’t take a flight to a far-off land just to see someone we love. We’d break up because, long distance. We’re too sensible for love. Too sensible for our own good.

We’re a scared generation – scared to fall in love, scared to commit, scared to fall, scared to get hurt, scared to get our hearts broken. We don’t allow anyone in, nor do we step out and love anyone unconditionally. We lurk from behind walls we’ve created ourselves, looking for love and running away the moment we really find it. We suddenly ‘cannot handle it’. We don’t want to be vulnerable. We don’t want to bare our soul to anyone. We’re too guarded.

We don’t even value relationships anymore. We let go of the most wonderful people for ‘the other fishes in the sea.’ We don’t consider them sacred anymore.

There’s nothing we couldn’t conquer in this world, and yet, here we are ham-fisted at the game of love – the most basic of human instincts. Evolution, they call it.

Curated by Jeremy
Original Article

I Was a 30-Year-Old Virgin and My First Time Wasn’t What I Had Expected

June 15, 2017January 22, 2024 by Virginia Jonesin Sex

**“I was relieved that a p*nis didn’t feel like a giant finger inside me.”**

Hi, my name is Virginia Jones and I’m a comedian and writer. I made a girlfriend six years ago who was beautiful and smart and kind and fun to be with, and at one point she told me she was a still a virgin in her late 20s, and I was pretty surprised.

In the years since we met, she has transitioned into non-virginity, and she agreed to sit down and talk with me about it.

Historically, virginity has been so important in religion, in vampire lore, and in marriage, but now it doesn’t seem as significant, and I wondered what her thoughts were on the topic. In this interview, I’m calling myself by my initials, VJ, and I’m calling her Unicorn Charmer, because in Medieval times it was said that a unicorn would only lay his head in a virgin’s lap.

VJ: At what age did you lose your virginity?

UC: I was 30. When did you lose yours?

VJ: I was 15, which at the time I felt was ancient and now I am totally grossed out by. When I see 15 year olds, I think, well, these are children.

UC: Oh myyyy.

VJ: How many partners have you had since then?

UC: I’ve had five sex partners — spread out over the past five years. Two long-term boyfriends, three shorter term. You?

VJ: Some multiple of that. Have you ever had a one night stand?

UC: I tried to have one in Europe with a sexy European man, but he kept in touch and it became an affair that kept going for a while — so I still haven’t successfully had one. I guess I maybe had one with someone I had been in love with forever — but that feels more like a continuation of our friendship. Once I had sex for the first time, he was someone I wanted to circle back and have sex with.

VJ: What was the original motivation for keeping your virginity, and did that change?

UC: I was raised in a very conservative Baptist household and was definitely taught that sex was for married people, and lots of scary stuff about STDs. When a boy first kissed me, I was quite sure I had AIDS. I was engaged for three years starting at 19, and when that engagement ended, I decided, well, I don’t have to be married, but I’d like to have sex with someone who loves me and who I love back. So, that only took… another seven years.

VJ: That’s a minute.

UC: It was. It wasn’t all the guys’ fault. I’m sometimes… fickle.

“I missed sex with people who weren’t in love with me, which I feel is missable.”

VJ: Have you ever lost partners or relationships because you didn’t want to have coitus?

UC: None of them ever admitted it, but looking back, I think, yeah. I think it’s not something you want to say is the reason.

VJ: It’s not a good look. Do you regret anything about waiting?

UC: I don’t regret my age or the timing when I lost my virginity — but I would have liked my first to be a different person?

VJ: Why is that?

UC: I thought he loved me and that he was the right partner, but it turned out that he wasn’t faithful and didn’t care for me the way I thought he did. Later, I felt like I was a conquest. It seemed like the right person at the time, but looking back, could have been better

VJ: I think most of us feel that way.

UC: Ha! But I don’t regret waiting, either. All I missed over the years was sex with people who weren’t in love with me, which I feel is missable.

VJ: What are some positive responses people have had to your sex history?

UC: Women have been 100 percent positive, girlfriends all think it’s great. Lots of men, friends and ex-boyfriends have been respectful of my decision. One man I did sleep with said it made him feel extra special. Which he is!

“I had built a lot of my self-image on being a virgin, on being that girl”

VJ: What is something that you changed your mind about after having sex?

UC: Strangely, I have changed my feelings about oral sex, which for years was my main sexual activity — now it seems VERY intimate and kind of more precious than sex — like, I can have intercourse with someone way before oral sex. I have to trust them more.

VJ: I’ve heard that’s the feeling a lot of millennials have, that sex with a condom you can have with anyone, but oral sex is more intimate. It’s the opposite of when I was growing up. What were you surprised about after the first time you had sex?

UC: I thought it would be really bloody and painful, and it wasn’t. I was surprised that it wasn’t actually that big a deal — I wasn’t a different person, I wasn’t transformed in one way or another — it was strange, I had built a lot of my self-image on being a virgin, on being that girl, and I had to figure out who I was again!

VJ: Ha! Right, part of our worth as a woman is your sexual purity — It gives you the idea that you will be a different person once you have sex, but you’re not. Like a button is pressed and POOF you are a different being.

UC: I guess so! But I just had to train myself out of thinking of myself in relation to what I hadn’t done, and think about myself in the context of what I have.

VJ: Have you had any negative feedback on staying a virgin for longer?

UC: Unfortunately, yeah- it usually gets thrown in my face by partners or men when they’re angry with me or want to hurt me? Stuff about I’m frigid or not normal or can’t come during sex, which I can — Lots of men want to tell me that because I waited, I’m gonna have hang-ups or other issues, that I’ll never be normal in bed.

VJ: That’s cruddy.

UC: It is. One guy in particular has hit that one same note over and over, that I’m not normal, normal people just hook up a lot and don’t put a lot of importance on sex, but you know, I know those people, and they don’t seem that happy to me.

VJ: Maybe not.

UC: And I know that I’m worth more than that.

VJ: Well, I think everyone is worth more, both women and men. But we believe what people tell us, which is that the only thing available to us is hookup sex, so we’d better take it, or get nothing. (laughs)

UC: Ha! Right.

“I was relieved that a penis didn’t feel like a giant finger inside me.”

VJ: What were you relieved about when you lost your virginity?
UC: I was honestly glad not to worry about it anymore. Also…Oh, god…

VJ: What?
UC: I was relieved that a penis didn’t feel like a giant finger inside me.

VJ: Haaaaa!

UC: Well, I wasn’t sure.

VJ: Well, how could you be? Thank you for sharing your sex history with me, babe.

The Unicorn Charmer has just ended a serious relationship and is currently out meeting new dates and potential partners in her new city, and is having fun, mostly!

Are you reinventing your own love life? Work with the experts at LoveTV to have better sex, love and intimacy.

How Ride-Shares are Completely Changing The One-Night Stand

December 14, 2017January 22, 2024 by Ola Faletiin Sex, SEX TIPS

The trusty one-night stand. Whether you’re rebounding from a break up or just having some good old singles fun, it’s a way for we modern, single women to enjoy and empower ourselves (in all good, consensual fun of course).

Lucky for us things have become more convenient. Who needs a walk of shame when you could call a Lyft?

Rideshares have changed how we travel in major cities – traveling to and from one-night stands included. In the old days, after some horizontal hustling, you’d have to figure out how to call a cab home. Or feel obligated to spend the night. Thankfully the times have changed.

1. It’s easier to leave right after sex

There’s still awkward conversation around things, the nature of the conversation is just different. Are you spending the night? If not, what’s the correct time threshold post-coitus, to avoid maximum rudeness? Is it polite for the guy to call a Lyft? But you have Lyft on your phone, right?

While there are plenty of questions to dance around, having an affordable rideshare app on your phone is incredibly convenient. You have so many choices because the ball is, truly, in your court. I see nothing wrong with basking in some post-sex glory for a few minutes before saying, “This was fun, I hope you don’t mind if I call my Uber now.” No need to feel obligated to stay if you don’t want to.

If you’re going to dip early, be prepared to call your own Uber. It’s the 21st century and independent women can call their own rideshares. But maybe your partner, if willing, will offer to split.

2. It’s cheaper to make it to those last-minute booty calls

You’re in bed one January night, tucked under a comforter and watching your favorite movie on Netflix when you get that text. You know the one. “Hey what are you up to?” “How are you?” “Wyd? You look at the time. It’s 11pm. Where will this go?

When I get this text I usually opt to stay in bed because I’m lazy and don’t want to pay for a late night uber all the way to the far end of the city. But if you’ve got nothing better to do and have the energy for a late nighttime romp, go get your groove on!

If you live in a big city you even have Uber Pool or Lyft Line, which can cut your fare to a third of normal price, as long as you’re not in a hurry and don’t mind passengers along the way.

3) Speaking of Lyft Line and UberPOOL….More Dates?!

When I get into a shared rideshare, I tend to look at my phone or stare out my window awkwardly. Then again, I’ve never shared a ride with someone cute.

This suggestion is for the more bold/aggressive among you. If you’re feeling friendly you can strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger. It might be hard for some to spark genuine, organic conversation, but you could make a new friend. Who knows, you might see yourself on the “Missed Connections” on Craigslist. You’d be surprised to see how many of them come from Uber rides. If you’ve been thristing for some more dates, shared rideshares can be a goldmine.

As for starting up a conversation, if you live somewhere with terrible weather, that’s always an option. Traffic is another safe option. Or say you like their shoes. Being a little tipsy probably helps bring you out of your shell. The UberPOOL and Lyft Line are opening a whole new realm of relationship potential, if you’re looking for it.

4. Guess who cares about your sex life?

In 2014 Uber caught flack for tracking the prevalence of one-night stands in major cities (or, “Rides of Glory” as they called them). Then they posted their findings on the Uber blog.

After getting bad press and lawsuit threats, Uber took the information down. It’s still unsettling though. With the amount of our lives being tracked through our phones, it could be a matter of time before this information is tracked again.

Companies collect information to improve the services they offer. Collecting data on when people like to get frisky can change the way they market, who they market to or areas that are perceived as “hot” zones for drivers. This could also mean an end to the clandestine fun of a one-night encounter. Don’t count on that happening anytime soon, but never say never.

Even so, our foremothers probably would’ve loved the chance to leave a less-than-satisfactory tryst on their own terms. The marvels of the modern age never cease.

Remember that we’re always here at LOVE TV to help you begin your next adventure in love. We are an empowering resource and guide for moving forward and finding new ways to love again.