It’s happening again. You put yourself out there, you fell for the guy, and now you’re sitting in his truck while he’s saying stuff like “I know I’m being selfish,” and “I just don’t want to hurt you anymore,” and, my personal favorite, “I’m really going to miss you.” What’s a girl supposed to do? Most of the time, we just sit there not knowing how to react. We either start crying profusely or get ridiculously angry, or both (both is fun), but mostly, we just think “Now what?” It’s the end of yet another sad love story, and different people handle breakup survival in different ways, but really, here’s what you shouldn’t do right after he says “it’s over”:
1. Don’t pretend to be okay
You’re hurting, and it’s crazy to think that, unless you’re some kind of cold-hearted siren or unless you didn’t really like him that much, you aren’t going to be in a little bit of pain for a while. It sucks to be broken up with. It’s rejection at its finest form, and it takes time to accept what has happened. Take a few days to recuperate. If that means shoving your face into a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, do it. You have the freedom to take time to find your cool again.
2. Don’t go out that night
We all have those friends who say “Oh, honey, I’m so sorry. He’s dumb. Let’s go out and get drunk tonight, it will make you feel better.” WRONG. Wrong wrong wrong. Alcohol is a depressant, so after you’ve downed three doubles and are staring at your phone while your buzz kicks in, you’re going to want to call him and either A. beg for him back or B. yell at him until you start crying again.
You could also be that girl who drunkenly flirts and dances all over everything with a penis right after a breakup just to fill the rejection bullet hole you’ve just experienced. Don’t be that girl. You might do something you’ll regret. Which leads me to…
3. Don’t get a Tinder right away
I know it seems like the best way to get over a breakup is to find someone new, but I can tell you from personal experience that that is not always the best route. Chances are, you are not ready to jump into bed, let alone into a relationship, with another guy for a while. You need to take the time to sort your wits, don’t be the serial rebound girl. Tinder is fun once it has been a few weeks, and you’ve had time to be emotional. Don’t do it because you’re alone and needy, do it because you’re confident and you’re ready to move on.
4. Don’t wait to get your things
Speaking of moving on, let’s also move out. You shouldn’t wait to get your stuff from his place. It’s just prolonging the inevitable moment when you will have to see him again and go through the emotional roller coaster that is exchanging and dividing your things. Do it all in one swoop; that way, although you might be in some serious emotional pain after it’s all over, you won’t have to relive everything after you have somewhat gotten over it. It’s like picking a scab after a few days. Yes, keep that mental image because that’s how horrible it will be.