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21 Sex Tips That Science Says Actually Work

If science can help determine how the universe was created, surely it can also help you have mind-blowing sex! If you’re looking for ways to spice it up in the bedroom, these scientifically proven methods will do the trick. Now this is research we’ll gladly conduct!

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13 Scientifically Proven Signs You’re in Love

We all know the feelings that come with falling in love: butterflies in your stomach, a racing heart, and, of course, intense feelings towards the one you desire most. Now, thanks to researchers at Rutgers University, we have a better understanding of the science behind falling in love. Not sure if you’re in love? These 13 scientifically proven signs will answer that question, once and for all!

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7 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Sexy

We’ll say it: After you’ve been with your S.O. for a fair amount of time, the glow wears off just a bit. You no longer feel like jumping him wherever there’s a flat surface and your sex life isn’t always super-steamy.

If you’re not careful, the word “monogamy” will eventually become synonymous with “ho-hum.” But, that doesn’t have to happen! There are totally ways to keep the fire o’ love burning for a very long while. The fine people at Men’s Health and Women’s Health have a few fabulous tips to make lust last in their “Big Book of Sex.” Here, we let you in on some of our favorites.

1. Rent a chick flick. Fun fact: Movies that are heavy on the romance raise levels of oxytocin, otherwise known as “the snuggle hormone.” A good rom-com will set the mood for a cozy, love-filled evening. Oh, and research from Kansas University shows that men love a good, sappy film, as well—not just the ladies. So, by all means, pop in “The Notebook!”

2. Don’t just say, “I love you.” It’s important to verbalize your feelings in other ways, too. A quick “Love you” as he’s headed out the door, or even before you hang up the phone, makes the phrase become a bit insignificant. Instead, show him your affection by using other words. Terms of endearment like “Honey” or “Sweetie” have the same connotation of affection. Also, let him know how much his gestures mean to you: “Thanks so much for filling up my gas tank yesterday. I really appreciated it.”

3. Change locations for making love. Mix it up. There is no designated area for getting it on, so why restrict yourself to the bedroom? Use the mirrors while getting hot and heavy in the bathroom, or even have a little outdoor sex—a whopping four out of five people surveyed said they’ve always wanted to try it. Um, what are y’all waiting for?

passionate young african couple kissing

4. Make out. Keep it simple and sweet, like you did when you were but a young teen. Restrict yourselves to 10 minutes of kissing only—with clothes on. Then, feel free to act more adult-like after you’ve set the mood. A hot make-out session will lead to even hotter sex.

5. Schedule sex. We’ve all been trained that you have to “be in the mood” to turn up the heat. That’s actually not true. Fooling around will get you in the mood, so feel free to set aside a place in your schedule just for you and your man. Everyone is busy, so it’s essential to create time for your sex life. It will keep you both happy and fulfilled.

6. Be open about your desires. A committed relationship is the one place you should be able to share your deepest secrets without fear of judgment or embarrassment. Have open conversations with your guy about any hot fantasies, let him do the same, then work together on making them happen. That way, you’ll both be satisfied between the sheets.

7. Have maintenance sex. It may sound less than appealing to get busy after a long day at work while the TV screams in the background, but frequent, run-of-the-mill sex is still that—sex. And it’s an important element for keeping the love alive. As Dr. Gina Ogden said: “This is the kind of sex that connects you and reaffirms your bond as a couple.” And that’s what you have to do, every day, to remain in love and in lust.


Curated by Erbe

Original Article

 

8 Ways to Increase Your Self Love

We spend so much time doing our best work on the outside — working on our bodies, careers, relationships, cooking skills and goals.

It’s just as important to spend time doing work on the inside — developing deep and lasting self-love, acceptance and compassion. The more we can make ourselves feel whole and worthy as individuals, the more we have to give to the world.

With this in mind, here are eight beautiful and effective ways to increase your self-love.

1. Practice self-care.

Get enough sleep to feel revitalized; attend a yoga class or go for a run; fill your fridge with healthy whole foods; drink plenty of water; and schedule in time for fun, adventure or relaxation. Value yourself enough to make self-care practices a regular part of your routine.Serene Young Woman Relaxation In Spa Salon

2. Use Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT).

This is a healing tool where you tap on specific parts of your body while repeating a mantra or affirmation. If you’re feeling anxious or self-critical about a particular issue or problem, you can use EFT to release your negative emotional energy and re-establish inner calm and peace.

Use the mantra, “Even though I (insert your problem), I deeply and completely love and accept myself”.

5 Reasons Why You Need a Sex Playlist

There comes a time in a relationship when things get boring, predictable and stale in the bedroom. Love making, sex feels the same. The touches no longer ignite the flames of passion. Kisses no longer open up moist caves, and make body parts throb.

If this is happening to you currently, you’ve hit a dry patch. No need to worry, as there are ways to liven things up in the sack. One of the surest ways to get your lovemaking from lukewarm to larva is hot is by having a sex playlist.

What’s a sex playlist? It’s a list of songs you play while having sex with your partner. Below we’ve outlined five key reasons why a sex playlist is essential in spicing things up.

Sexy Girl Listening To Music At Home - Point Of View Photo

  1. Set The Mood – A sex playlist creates the mood needed for exciting and pleasurable sex. Think of it as theme music in a movie. With the right songs you can easily create the ambiance and mood needed for some lovemaking that will knock your socks off, and make neighbors know your name.

  2. Tempo – A sex playlist can help determine the pace, and tempo of sex. If you are not satisfied with your lover’s temp (whether its too slow or fast), the right kind of songs can help quicken or slow down things easily. Watch your lover move to the rhythm of the song blasting from the speakers. A song like Future’s ‘Turn On The Lights‘ should make things go slow and deep, while a track like Reminisce’s ‘Tesojue‘ should ensure a fast race to the climax.

    Portrait of loving sensuality couple in dark

  3. Enhances foreplay – Foreplay is an essential part of love making. Sadly it is often ignored. Foreplay greatly determines if sex ends with a big bang or have an anti-climatic. Every one desires to experience the great finish. A sure way to help you reach the finish triumphantly is with a sex playlist. Watch your wife or babe strip and tease while dancing to Rihanna’s ‘Pour It Up‘. For the ladies watch your man take off his clothes as he moves his waist seductively to Usher’s ‘Good Kisser‘.

  4. Timer- Some people have been known to time their lovemaking. This means the thrusting and grinding does not stop until the playlist gets to the end. This helps create intimacy and bonding between lovers. Having sex is not bang, bang. Kissing, cuddling, teasing, nibbling and stroking are all parts of the game. Create a sex playlist that lasts for an hour, and do not stop until the last song plays out. Doing this will help you go through all the 9 yards of sex.

  5. Creativity – Unfortunately a lot of people never get out of the dry patch. As we grow older some of us settle for less, and never try to recreate the fireworks in the bedroom. Don’t settle for less. Making love while sensual songs are playing in the background, will add the spice you need. Create that playlist now and watch your sex life go va va voom!


 

Curated by Erbe

Original Article

NSFW – The Great Wall of Vaginas

Every woman is beautiful and unique!


Warning: As the title suggests, this post is full of vaginal renderings. If you do not want to see a wall of labia, do not continue reading. We repeat, do not continue reading.

UK-based sculptor Jamie McCartney has spent the better half of a decade creating hundreds of renderings of female genitalia. In a project titled “The Great Wall of Vagina,” the artist demonstrates not only his ability to craft effective word play, but also his knack for capturing the physical diversity of labia in a 30-foot polyptych.

vagina

McCartney recruited around 400 women for the series of 10 panels, casting the vulvae of women aged 18 to 76. During the five-year process, he encountered identical twins, transgender individuals, pre- and postnatal women and pre- and post-labiaplasty patients, all of whom were willing to submit their genitalia to plaster in the name of art.

“This is about grabbing the attention, using humour and spectacle, and then educating people about what normal women really look like,” “The Great Wall of Vagina” site states. There McCartney makes sure to point out that the work of sculpture is not erotic art, nor is it pornography — it’s actually closer to “the Vagina Monologues of sculpture.

vagina

“For many women their genital appearance is a source of anxiety,” McCartney adds on the site, “and I was in a unique position to do something about that.”

As with any vagina-centric artwork, online responses to the sculptural feat have ranged from creepy to insightful over the years. The Frisk went as far as to call the wall the eighth wonder of the world.

View photos of the artistic process on the next page…

11 Struggles Of Being A Highly Sexual Woman

We believe you should be true and happy with your own desires!


When you’re a woman who absolutely loves sex, you’re a minority among your female counterparts. You’re a bit like a unicorn, a woman whom men have heard of but have never seen.

To many, you are a myth. In fact, women being sexual creatures in any sense are a myth to most.

The thing is, we definitely are sexual beings despite the conflicting rhetoric society likes to project. We all love a great sexual encounter of the sweaty, steamy variety.

Yet, just like most things, some of us are much more sexual than others.

A highly sexual woman is just like any other woman. We’ve embraced our sexuality, and we own it. We want sex just as much, if not more than men do.

We’re lustful and fantasize just as much as the male population. We refuse to find shame in our desires, no matter who tries to ostracize us.

We’re sexually insatiable, and while the guys we date may think that’s just fantastic, it ends up being more of a struggle.

Suddenly, you’re the one trying to jump your boyfriend at every turn. Suddenly, you’re the one coming on to HIM all the time.

Not to mention, the good people of society would delightedly go on a witch hunt if they knew about your less-than-kosher sexual desires.

We’re told to embrace our sexuality by liberal media and yet, told to hide it by everyone else. What’s with this double standard?

Why should a guy get to romp around from bed to bed and face no social consequences, and a girl can’t even have a little fun? What is a gal to do?

These are 11 struggles every highly sexual woman faces on a regular basis:

1. When your boyfriend turns you down for sex, it hurts that much more

You’ve always been told a woman is the one who is pursued for intercourse in a relationship. This has never been the case for you.

You often find your boyfriend just cannot physically keep up with you. If you had your way, you’d be getting it on three times a day.

All of this “three times a week is the average” bullsh*t makes no sense to you. Therefore, when your boyfriend tells you he doesn’t want sex, you can’t help but feel really hurt and offended.

Why would a guy not want to have sex with you? It makes you feel like you’re not sexy, especially in such a vulnerable position


2. You have more vibrators than Babeland

Your vibrators come in all shapes and sizes, colors and intensity levels. You know how each of them works in its own special way, and you love each individually.

None of your friends understand why you could possibly need such an extensive collection, but you know better.

They all have a specific, different purpose. You’re looking for more than just your average stimulation and a halfhearted orgasm.

On top of all of this complicated tomfoolery, you constantly run out of AA batteries and end up spending more money to replace them than you do on shoes.


3. Society will judge and shame you

You deal with the stigma of being called a slut and a whore on the regular. You feel like the world is breathing down your neck, constantly attempting to stamp a scarlet A on your chest.

You’re in a constant battle between wanting to be proud of your sexual fearlessness and the labels society has historically tarnished sexual women with.


4. Men really don’t know what to make of you

They don’t know whether they’ve hit the ultimate jackpot or gotten in way over their heads. You’re always down for the freaky stuff, which is awesome, but your sexual insatiability can be intimidating.

You don’t care enough to worry if you’re emasculating a man with your high drive.

He can just get over it or get out. Guys want sex, but once they meet you, it’s a head-trip. You’re putting out constantly. What does he have to complain about?


5. People will call you a sex addict

Both your friends and your boyfriends have referred to you as a “sex addict.” You inform them that a sex addict is someone who goes out and f*cks everything he or she sees, often unsafely.

You are simply a woman who loves to have sex. That doesn’t make you an addict. It makes you a human being.


 

6. All of your friends come to you for sex advice

This is one of the nicest parts about being so sexual. Your friends feel like they can live vicariously through your many sexual endeavors.

They also trust you enough to come to you with all of their questions about sex. You always have the answers because there are very few things you haven’t given a try.

Anything the girls need to know, they know you’re the person to see.


7. You make everything a sexual innuendo

You sexuality spills into every facet of your life, especially your humor. You can’t help but make every joke sexual. Everything from pencils, cucumbers and forearms can be metaphors for dicks.

You manage to make even the most innocent of exchanges dirty. But hey, you don’t have a dirty mind — just a sexy imagination.


8. You can separate sex and love

Unlike most of your female counterparts, you have no problem taking your emotions out of the act of sex. You can have sex just like a man.

To you, sex is a fun, pleasurable activity. It doesn’t need to be fraught with feelings. You’re a busy woman who doesn’t have time to deal with drama. You just want to get off and get back to your lengthy to-do list.


9. Pretty much anything is a turn on

Even the most mundane things can be a turn on. Whether it is a cute guy eating an ice cream cone or an expected breeze whipping up your skirt, you find it takes very little to get you hot and bothered.

You often find yourself at home with your boyfriend (either robotic or human) getting it on before dinnertime. When you’re at work or out with friends, you consciously remind yourself to keep your mind off sex.


10. Sex is your therapy

F*ck yoga. Nothing in this world could relax you the way sex does. Sure, you enjoy the catharsis of a bottle of wine and Netflix on occasion, but you’d much rather be indulging in a hump sesh than a romcom.

It also serves as your main source of exercise. Any cardio that comes with an orgasm is all right by you.


11. You stopped counting your number of sexual partners

You’re always safe, but a number is just a number. You’re not ashamed, and you shouldn’t have to be.

As long as you’re careful with your sexual health, you will continue to enjoy yourself and let your freak flag fly.

You go, girl. You go.


 

Curated by Tatiana
Original Article

To The Women Whose Lives Are Not Love Stories

Here’s to the women whose lives are not love stories. To those who never expected to find happily-ever-after on their wedding day or the moment their eyes locked with somebody else’s across a crowded café. To the girls who grew up measuring success based on what they achieved for themselves – what they worked through, what they accomplished and what they did not let diminish them along the way.

Here’s to the damsels who pulled themselves out of distress and to the heroines who didn’t wait around to be saved.

Here is to women who grew up searching for the dreams that they wanted to realize and the people they wanted to become, not just the man who would sweep them away from the tragedy of their mundane existence. To the women who hoped that their lives would be thrillers, adventure novels, comedies and occasionally pornos but never predominantly romances. Never only a reflection of what they had to offer someone else. Here’s to the women who had bigger plans for the main character in their story.

Here’s to the women who grew up wanting more. More independence, more knowledge and more opportunity than they were ever expected to achieve. To the women who were taught to be quiet but found voices. To the women who were told to be chaste but chose passion. To the women who were taught to sit down and keep quiet but who chose instead to stand up and fight. Here’s to the women who never cared much for the fairy-tales that they were read. To the women who rejected the scripts that they were given and went on to write their own.

Here’s to the girls who grew up with dirty hands and skinned knees. Who wanted to experience the world first-hand and full-force, with no hidden intention or ambition of appearing desirable to somebody else. To the ladies who treated their bodies and minds as vessels – to experience, learn, grow and achieve, rather than simply to seduce and impress. To the women who wanted to be seduced themselves, with the wild intricacies of the world that surrounded them. Here’s to the women who knew that they deserved to explore with all the ferocity and passion of the heroes in their favourite childhood novels. Who didn’t wait for someone else to come along to show them the world.

Calling in True Love

He will see my heart first – its strength, its resilience, its magnitude, its determination, its power.

He will see my brain, and value the way I think, the logic intertwined with compassion, the depth, the simplicity.

He will see my eyes, dark brown eyes, wide with excitement, creases in the corners from smiling, and a depth that says, “I’ve been there. I understand. I’ve come through it, I’m here for you, and we’re here together now.”

He will see my skin, smooth and tan, and the curves of my body, my legs, my chest, and he will see femininity in every inch; he’ll see a softness he desires to touch and a firmness that signifies strength and health.

He will listen for my voice, the tone, the articulation, the animation and emotion injected into it that will carry him like a wave.

He will take pleasure in causing my laughter because all he wants to do is give me joy, levity, happiness.

He will recognize the rarity of my attributes and how they fit perfectly with his, and because of this, he’ll know I am the only one for him.

He’ll know this with the force of a tidal wave. He’ll know it is God’s will [greater than us, and for great purpose], that we are One, and he’ll claim our union with relentless determination, swiftly, wholly, and completely. There will be no room for interpretation. He’ll know. I’ll know. It will simply be.

By HWK

How to Find Real, Lasting Love Without Looking for It

We love this approach to finding love! 


“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” ~Carl Jung

Often when people want a new relationship, they either look for someone to complete them or they imagine sharing their life with someone just like them. So they try to present themselves in the best possible light for their imagined future partner—either as one perfect half of a whole or as an ideal version of what they believe their future partner will want.

In my experience, finding your soul mate requires a different, far more soul-enriching approach. Here are six steps that worked for me:

1. Stop looking for your soul mate and find the missing parts of you.

This may sound counterintuitive, but it’s exactly how I met my husband. I stopped looking for “the one” after a two-year relationship ended, which I had believed was the one. I decided to turn my attention inward—to get to know and accept myself, to heal past wounds, and to explore and develop new parts of myself.

Previously, I needed to be with someone in order to feel content, to have someone love me in order to feel loved. Breaking up with past boyfriends was so painful because it felt as if I was breaking up, as if I was being torn from a part of myself.

What I discovered was that I had to learn to be whole. And when I started to work on that, my life changed.

2. Live your life as you want to live it.

When I started to discover more about myself and to follow my own path, I started to live a life that was meaningful to me. I was no longer following someone else’s rules and ideas about what I should do.

This can disappoint some people close to you, such as your family. But if you want to find fulfillment in your life, you have to fulfill yourself, not someone else!

And doing what is right for you means you will be in places, jobs, and near people that are aligned with your life path, and with you. So you will have a much better chance of meeting your soul mate, because your soul mate will also be connected to your life path.

3. Stop trying to appeal to an imagined, potential partner.

A side effect of leading the life you choose is that you automatically become more attractive. You become more real, authentic, substantial, valuable, passionate, happy, and present. This makes you more beautiful in a natural and effortless way, and it will also make you attractive to your soul mate.

Whereas when you try to make yourself attractive in order to find someone, you alter the way you behave and present yourself so that if your soul mate were to show up, he or she might not even recognize you.

So just be yourself, whether that means you dress in corporate attire or resort wear, or casual clothing or more formal, or if your preference changes at different times.

You don’t need to be a particular weight or have large biceps or wear uncomfortable shoes if you don’t like them. Go to the gym only if you love it, do yoga if you love it, walk or surf or cycle if you enjoy those activities.

A partner who you will be with over the long term will not make a decision about your worth based on a superficial aspect of your appearance. So tap into what feels right for you, do the activities you enjoy, wear the clothes that suit you and in which you feel comfortable.

You will be far more attractive to your soul mate if you look like yourself when you meet them.

The Married Millennial – Are We Too Young?

A mistake is only a failure if you don’t learn from it. Marriage and divorce shouldn’t be any different.


I got married at 21. By today’s standards, that makes me a unicorn.

When I show up with a new tattoo, nobody bats an eye. But the second I say I’m married? I might as well have joined a cult.

“How old are you, again?” my yoga teacher asked.

I answered honestly. “I’m 21.”

Her face must have gone through fifty shades of pity. “Are you sure?”

In our early twenties, we are expected to make adult decisions. Finishing college, choosing our careers, voting in elections – these are not tasks for children. As an adult, I’m allowed to make choices for myself. I’m allowed to make mistakes.

If we can smoke cigarettes in our twenties (risking cancer), own a credit card (and a lifetime of student loan debt), or joining the military (at 18, mind you) – why is marriage such a scary concept to us?

Traditional marriage goes against what many of us have come to know.

How long have you been together? Because when I was in my twenties…”

This is a trick question. It doesn’t matter how long we have been together – her mind is made up that I am too young. Her conclusion is probably drawn from her own experiences at 21 – and that’s not a bad thing.

A year before, I would have agreed with her. I’ve had every reason to not believe in marriage. My experiences with long-term relationships began much younger than most, and nearly all of them ended in heartbreak. I know what it’s like to think you’ll spend forever with someone, only to leave – or be left. My own parents divorced. My friends’ parents divorced. I’ve been to more divorce dinners than actual weddings…and that’s because I don’t like weddings.

Before my husband came along, I swore off the possibility of long-term relationships completely. Monogamy was a lie. Marriage was an outdated system. Why would a strong, career-minded feminist like myself willingly give herself legally to another person?

I argued this point whenever marriage was mentioned. I questioning my friends’ life choices and cut my own relationships short when things got too serious. I was content to spend the rest of my life as a happily single woman. Now, here I am, with a ring on my finger.

Is it scary? Yes. Do I question my decision? No.

A mistake is only a failure if you don’t learn from it. Marriage and divorce shouldn’t be any different. I can’t predict the next ten, twenty, thirty years. But no matter how my life turns out, I will be grateful for having shared it with him.

Nobody can predict the future, and that’s what makes marriage so huge.

I know a couple that dated for ten years before getting married. They divorced after one year. I also know a couple that got married six months after they met. They’ve been married for thirty years, and counting.

There is no guarantee that any relationship will survive. Our generation has been raised to value reward over risk. We want results, now. To many of us, marriage just sounds like a really expensive mistake. It’s easier to live together and have children together, without the hassle of expensive paperwork.

“Why invest in a marriage when you can have all the perks without it?” asked basically everyone.

As soon as our engagement announcement went live on social media, my inbox overflowed with congratulations…and concern.

“Have you been with him long enough to be sure?”

“Does this mean you giving up your career?”

“Are you pregnant?”

“I know it’s not my business, but…”

Sixty years ago, getting married in your twenties was totally normal. But then again, more of us had stable jobs in those days. People weren’t as afraid of the future then as we are now.

Nobody knows where – or who – we’ll be in five, ten, or twenty years. For many, this is why being “tied down” to any one person is terrifying. But for some, this is all the more reason to commit to something – or someone.

We’ve now been married for one year. So far, so good. We know that marriage is hard work. And it’s more than likely that we won’t be the same people in ten years. That’s not a bad thing. It means we’re growing – and hopefully, we’ll grow together.

Maybe you are also in your twenties, and you were hoping this article might help you decide whether to get married or not. My question for you, is – why?

Do your life choices reflect what you want, or what other people want? This applies to everything, not just marriage. Self-sabotage occurs by comparing ourselves to others and waiting for outer validation.

When my lover got down on one knee, he didn’t say, “Hey, friends and family, should she marry me?”

And I didn’t say, “Hold on a second,” and then get out my phone to Google national divorce statistics.

He simply asked, “Will you marry me?”

And I said, “Yes.”

Marriage is a choice between two people, to be made every day for the rest of life. I feel ready, but that doesn’t mean you have to. Love is all that matters. Embrace the way it lives for you.


Are we TOO young?

Declutter Your Love Life for Spring

Your bedroom may be free of clutter, but what about your heart?


Spring Cleaning isn’t just for belongings; it’s for improving the quality of your life. This is the perfect time of year to discard what no longer serves us – and yes, this includes relationships. We all have our own unique energy drains, emotional rough spots and cluttered habits that could use a little ‘clean-up’ from time to time. If you’re hoarding a mess (even too much of a good thing), it’s time to make room for what you really want.

Spring Cleaning your love life works in three steps: (1) Defining the things that drain your energy. (2) Recognizing why they don’t serve you. (3) Taking out the trash.

Here are six areas to consider:

1. Your Time:

“How we spend our days is how we spend our lives,” according to Annie Dillard. What are you doing that just isn’t working? Are you too busy for love?

If you don’t make time to build new relationships now, you’ll never have time to maintain them in the future. So how many unnecessary dating apps are you using? Do you spend hours each day on social media, instead of making quality time with your partner or date(s)? Does your work, hobby or social routine make it hard to commit to relationships? If time is money, budgeting is important. Cancel ‘investments’ that don’t bring results.

2. Your Self:

Low self-esteem, lack of a personal care routine, and poor mental/physical health are all serious buzz-kills in the love and sex department. If you feel insecure or unhealthy, here’s your chance to commit to solutions. Define and delete the beliefs that drag you down.

Everyone is a work in progress; if you can’t accept that about yourself, you’ll most likely struggle to accept it in your partner. So if you want to find love in relationships, the first step is to cultivate that in yourself. Examine your self-worth and care routines, and note how that translates to your interactions with others. Outer results reflect inner decisions. The way we see ourselves is often how we treat our partners.

3. Your Baggage:

Have you noticed negative patterns in your relationships? Does pain from your past make it harder to trust? Fear is love’s greatest obstacle; so in terms of baggage, handle with care.

The first “thing” that pops into your head can often improve with practice: journaling, talking it out, reading self-help books and/or spiritual work. But when it comes to deeper wounds, a therapist, spiritual leader or mentor can and should be asked for help. Taking honest inventory of our own baggage is a crucial part of de-cluttering our love lives.