Millennials and Dating…Hook Up Generation Debrief

Did you hear? Dating is dead.


No, really. It’s been officially declared dead millions of times (according to Google).

And after reading some of these declarations, published in outlets like Vanity Fair and the New York Post, you might be tempted to agree.

People like to blame the demise of “real romance” on this thing called “hook-up culture” — you know, lots of sexy time with no strings attached.

There are just so many possibilities out there for instant hook-up gratification: Tinder, OKCupid, Grindr, Hinge … and probably hundreds of other sites and phone apps.

Seems like everybody’s doin’ it. So New York magazine decided to investigate. They made a video that takes a closer look at the phenomenon.

At first, it seems like it might be true: We’re getting married later, which means many of us are having more lifetime sexual partners than before.

But the folks at NYMag drilled below that trend to get down and dirty with the facts. And guess what they found? Hook-up culture — kind of a myth.

The General Social Survey (GSS) has been used since 1972 to track the experiences and attitudes of Americans every year. And based on their stats, it turns out that…

…millennials are actually less promiscuous than folks used to be.

So if the data shows that technology didn’t make us into a society full of bunny rabbits, why do people keep saying it?
Drumroll, please:

1. We tend to look at the past with rose-colored glasses.

Sort of like how every generation loves to talk about “the good old days.” (You know, when everyone only had deeply emotionally connected sexual encounters. Erm, no.) The official term for this phenomenon is “rosy retrospection.”

2. Young folks assume (incorrectly) that everyone is doing it, probably a lot more than them.

Listen, I’ve been there. Between overhearing all the late-night gossip about who’s hooking up with whom to watching “Undressed” marathons on MTV, I thought college was all sex all the time for everyone who was not me. Buying into this idea creates a vicious cycle where even more people think that everyone is hooking up, and the myth continues.

3. The people who aren’t the norm — like those outliers who have a whole lot of sex — get a lot more attention in the media.

Think about it: How boring would it be to read about Average Annie’s sex life (or lack thereof?). That wouldn’t exactly rake in the clicks. That’s why articles like the one in Vanity Fair spread so quickly: It’s more interesting to read about the Wall Street bro bragging about having four hookups in a night than the single Jersey girl swiping alone on the couch with her bunny.

Yep. Turns out that the phrase “hook-up culture” is probably getting a lot more play than millennials actually are.


Curated by Erbe
Original Article

How Ride-Shares are Completely Changing The One-Night Stand

The trusty one-night stand. Whether you’re rebounding from a break up or just having some good old singles fun, it’s a way for we modern, single women to enjoy and empower ourselves (in all good, consensual fun of course).

Lucky for us things have become more convenient. Who needs a walk of shame when you could call a Lyft?

Rideshares have changed how we travel in major cities – traveling to and from one-night stands included. In the old days, after some horizontal hustling, you’d have to figure out how to call a cab home. Or feel obligated to spend the night. Thankfully the times have changed.

1. It’s easier to leave right after sex

There’s still awkward conversation around things, the nature of the conversation is just different. Are you spending the night? If not, what’s the correct time threshold post-coitus, to avoid maximum rudeness? Is it polite for the guy to call a Lyft? But you have Lyft on your phone, right?

While there are plenty of questions to dance around, having an affordable rideshare app on your phone is incredibly convenient. You have so many choices because the ball is, truly, in your court. I see nothing wrong with basking in some post-sex glory for a few minutes before saying, “This was fun, I hope you don’t mind if I call my Uber now.” No need to feel obligated to stay if you don’t want to.

If you’re going to dip early, be prepared to call your own Uber. It’s the 21st century and independent women can call their own rideshares. But maybe your partner, if willing, will offer to split.

2. It’s cheaper to make it to those last-minute booty calls

young-man-texting

You’re in bed one January night, tucked under a comforter and watching your favorite movie on Netflix when you get that text. You know the one. “Hey what are you up to?” “How are you?” “Wyd?  You look at the time. It’s 11pm. Where will this go?

When I get this text I usually opt to stay in bed because I’m lazy and don’t want to pay for a late night uber all the way to the far end of the city. But if you’ve got nothing better to do and have the energy for a late nighttime romp, go get your groove on!

If you live in a big city you even have Uber Pool or Lyft Line, which can cut your fare to a third of normal price, as long as you’re not in a hurry and don’t mind passengers along the way.

3) Speaking of Lyft Line and UberPOOL….More Dates?!

When I get into a shared rideshare, I tend to look at my phone or stare out my window awkwardly. Then again, I’ve never shared a ride with someone cute.

This suggestion is for the more bold/aggressive among you. If you’re feeling friendly you can strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger. It might be hard for some to spark genuine, organic conversation, but you could make a new friend. Who knows, you might see yourself on the “Missed Connections” on Craigslist.  You’d be surprised to see how many of them come from Uber rides. If you’ve been thristing for some more dates, shared rideshares can be a goldmine.

As for starting up a conversation, if you live somewhere with terrible weather, that’s always an option. Traffic is another safe option. Or say you like their shoes. Being a little tipsy probably helps bring you out of your shell. The UberPOOL and Lyft Line are opening a whole new realm of relationship potential, if you’re looking for it.

4. Guess who cares about your sex life?

Lovers having a romantic walk

In 2014 Uber caught flack for tracking the prevalence of one-night stands in major cities (or, “Rides of Glory” as they called them). Then they posted their findings on the Uber blog.

After getting bad press and lawsuit threats, Uber took the information down. It’s still unsettling though. With the amount of our lives being tracked through our phones,  it could be a matter of time before this information is tracked again.

Companies collect information to improve the services they offer. Collecting data on when people like to get frisky can change the way they market, who they market to or areas that are perceived as “hot” zones for drivers. This could also mean an end to the clandestine fun of a one-night encounter. Don’t count on that happening anytime soon, but never say never.

Even so, our foremothers probably would’ve loved the chance to leave a less-than-satisfactory tryst on their own terms. The marvels of the modern age never cease.

 

Remember that we’re always here at LOVE TV to help you begin your next adventure in love. We are an empowering resource and guide for moving forward and finding new ways to love again.