What Should You Do If Your Friends Have Dropped Off the Face of the Earth and You’re Worried?

Sometimes your friend doesn’t text you, or says no to all your invites and you decide to stop trying. But, I assure you, your depressed friend who dropped off the face of the earth is not always terrible.

Reach out to them.

Love is a verb. Maintaining relationships can be a challenge because we’re taught to think, “what’s in it for me?” but sometimes kindness for kindness sake even when it doesn’t make sense to others is good enough. Here are some ways you can reach out and help them out.

And don’t forget, if you are feeling depressed because your relationships have been lingering in limbo for a while, join LOVE TV and we can help speed up your success.

1. Help Them Clean Their Room

help your friend clean up if they are feeling depressed

Sometimes your depressed friend finds leaving the house taxing. They may call it being introverted, they may call it anxiety, they may call it exhausting. If you’re friend denies your request to meet them go to them. Meet them where they are.

If they’re like me, they don’t want anyone to come over because their place is an absolute mess. If they use that as an excuse offer to help clean their place. You can spend the whole day together, talking, but also help them deal with the overwhelming weight of dread they have about the mess, and listen to music, and eat.

Hanging out is not just about where you go, but about being together with someone you care about.

2.   Check in on them during tragic incidents

check in on your friend if they are depressed

Sadly, there are so many tragic incidents in the world, that Facebook asks people to check in if they are safe. If you’re friend has dropped off the face of the earth, you might not be the only person they are isolated from.

So, if something happens, ask them if they are alright. Believe me, they will feel grateful that someone somewhere remembers they exist, because I’m sure they probably feel forgotten.

3. Ask them what they want to do

If you find yourself telling a depressed friend what you should do, where you should go, try asking them what they want to do.

Having the choice might make them feel more inclined to go. They probably won’t bail because it’s something that they put into motion. Sometimes people say no, because it makes them feel out of control. Let them have the power every once in awhile and they’ll have to keep their word.

4. Invite them over for the holidays

surviving holidays as a couple

Some of your friends may not enjoy hanging with their family on the holidays, or they may live too far from/can’t afford to/didn’t book the flight soon enough to visit family. So, please, please, if you’re having a big holiday get together, invite your friends. Don’t assume that they have plans. Maybe they won’t ask to join because they don’t want to be a burden or impose themselves, so ask them.

Even if they say no, most people will notice the effort eventually and say yes. Trust me, you don’t understand the brutality of being alone on the holidays if you’ve never been alone, so invite them if you can.

5. Pay for their dinner.

if your friend is depressed pick up their dinner check

I’ve experienced this kindness that people will just pay for my meal. I can’t tell if it’s because I portray myself as a downtrodden damsel, because they appreciate my invite, or what, but oh, man, it feels good when people buy you a drink, or buy you an appetizer, or buy you a whole meal.

I think it’s best as a surprise when the bill comes but doing it before works too. On occasion I’ll pay for things even if I think I’m a downtrodden damsel because I understand that my friendship is sometimes more important than my need to play that role.

There are tons of other ways to keep friendships alive but I wanted to give you a taste of some things that have made me feel special. Relationships, like gardens, have to be nurtured. Even if the garden will not bear anything you don’t have to let it die.

It’s beautiful existing as is. And your friends are beautiful even if you don’t speak to them or see them everyday. If you can try once a month to reach out to friends who have drifted away but whose company you enjoy. Friends come in many forms so keep the good ones around!

Reaching Out When You’re Feeling Alone and Worried Your Friends Forgot You

If you’re like me you might sometimes feel insecure and fearful everyone is off having fun without you.

But, if you’re like me you’re also laser focused on your career/passions and have tons of commitments which might make you seem unavailable. Even when your friends ask you to be available to meet them on a specific date and time, you are not always available. If they do this repeatedly they might assume you are too busy for them. In reality, you’re just not available at that specific time and date.

In the end, it might seem like people stop reaching out to you, and ultimately you start to realize your friends have grown distant.

Sometimes our isolation is not one sided, unbeknownst to us, and I am here to tell you and me what we need to do to stop disappearing from our social circles.

Also, don’t forget, if you’re hoping to cut through the insanity of the dating world, we can help make it quicker and easier if you join LOVE TV today.

1. Choose a specific date and time.

People ask me to meet them and I can’t, but as I am writing this article, I realize that I don’t always ask people out.

I may ask them to accompany to me a show or a movie, but how often does that happen? So, be deliberate. If you can recognize that you are never available when certain people that you actually want in your life ask you to be available, try suggesting a time and date for when you can meet. If they say no, keep trying.

I’ve even feared that if someone didn’t answer my text one day in December they never want to speak with me and I let that relationship die. But, who knows what happened? They were mad at me in December, but it’s March now so maybe they’re less mad and I can try again? The text didn’t go through? Their phone was turned off that day and they didn’t get the message? They forgot?

Anything could have happened and I can be mad at them for not answering that text that one time, but what if they still want to hang out with me? I can try again. At least once in March? Once in April. And if I am ignored still, well, at least I made the effort!

meeting up when you feel alone

2. Meetup

Meetup.com is a thing. A place where you can join a group for people like you. A MeetUp for left handed people. A MeetUp for introverts. A MeetUp for left handed introverts. A MeetUp for people who who want to dissect Lana Del Rey lyrics. There is a place for you.

If you’re like, “I don’t want to hang out with people” but also feel sad that no one wants to hang out with you reevaluate your thought process. Do your actions match what you want out of life? If you feel isolated, move past your discomfort and join a meetup.

Or a facebook group. There’s even a facebook group for people who have MoviePass so you can literally just go see a movie with a stranger. Not something I recommend if you’re 12, but at least in New York we meet up with random people all the time. Try doing it in public spaces if you’re nervous.

3. Go to that after office hangout.

I know we’re supposed to technically keep our work and personal life separate and that’s all well and good if you have a personal life, but come on. Many of us see our coworkers more than we see anyone else in our lives. If you like any of them, say yes to after office drinks. “I don’t drink.” Ok. And? There are non alcoholic drinks at bars, right? Order a soda. Order a lemonade.

If you don’t like your coworkers find a job where you do? Or spend time at places where you like the people? Church? Temple? Dance class? Book club? Dungeons and Dragons? Take the time to get to know people. “No one’s gonna like me.” Of course, they won’t if they don’t know how awesome you are.

What I am saying is we can’t always blame others for our isolation. Sure, it’s partially their responsibility to keep you in mind, but it’s also your responsibility. The cool thing about taking responsibility is that it gives you power. It equates to self sufficiency. It’s taking charge of your life experiences. You don’t have time? Who is in charge of your life? You. Make the time.

I remember I would see people post, f you ever feel alone you can reach out to me.” I thought those were empty words. But, do it. Reach out to your friends and say, “Hey, I feel incredibly isolated from everyone right now and I wanted to know if we could hang out. Today. Right now?”

They may say, “How about Tuesday?” Great. You have plans for Tuesday. Say yes. Then show up. Then go reach out to another friend and another friend another friend until someone says, “Ok. I’ll meet you in ten minutes.” We don’t have to be alone.

Being social takes a lot of work. Go outside of yourself to live the life you want. It doesn’t have to be Paris. It can be as simple as, “I want to do friend things at least twice a week.” Whatever it takes to get you to feel a part of the world. Just remember to keep it up!