What Dating App Are You Using? See If You Are On the Right One.

The best dating app out there right now is totally up for debate.

Some people love good old, reliable Tinder, while others prefer meeting friends of friends through Hinge or making the first move on Bumble. A lot of it comes down to personal preference. But what isn’t up for debate are which apps we’re actually using. And according to technology company Quantcast, which looked at over 480,000 searches from January 6, 2017- February 5, 2017 for Bustle, there’s a really, really clear winner when it comes to the most searched for dating apps right now.

Before we dive into all the top ones, I’m not recommending you go and download all of the most popular apps right away. You need to stick to what works for you and — crucially— you don’t want to overwhelm yourself. “They say you can have ‘too many cooks in the kitchen.’ I say you can have too many apps on your phone,” Erika Ettin, online dating coach and author of Love at First Site, tells Bustle. “I generally recommend that my clients stick to two apps, with the caveat that they use them proactively. This does not mean getting 20 matches a day and writing to none of them. This means limiting the number of matches they get to, say, three to five, and then reaching out to all of them. If, of three matches, one converts to a date, that is more than enough to line up per day! Just like you archive your emails (well, I do), I advise keeping your app inboxes clean.”

It’s really sound advice. So keep it in mind and check out the most popular dating apps this year:

1. Tinder Was The Clear Winner

Damn. I mean, damn. Seventy-four percent— that’s total domination of the market (and the pie chart). It seems like we’re creatures of habit and we really do like sticking to Tinder to get us by.

2. OkCupid Was Runner Up

OkCupid came in second, which was no surprise to me. Of the less “app-y” dating apps, all of my friends use OkCupid, and some have had a lot of luck on it, so I’d say it’s a safe bet.

3. Grindr Held Its Own

It may have only gotten five percent of searches, but that’s enough use to nab Grindr third place. It’s well-established, easy to use, and people love it.

4. PlentyOfFish Came In Fourth

We’re already down to four percent of the market, which pales next to Tinder, but is still enough to rank POF at fourth place.

5. eHarmony Rounded Out The Top Five

Finally, eHarmony — and their commercials that I cannot escape whenever I go to visit my mom in New Hampshire — finished out the top five. Maybe it’s their advertising campaign, maybe it just works, but it nabbed three percent of the usage.

Well, if you want to play a numbers game then there’s a clear winner on which app people are using this year. But like I said, it’s more about what works for you. You’re better off having three matches you actually speak to than 40 you rack up and ignore. Stick with what fits.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Openers or Nope-ners: What Kind Of First Message Should You Send On Dating Apps?

The new series of Master of None shows Aziz’s character using the same opener on every single Tinder swipe — does that ever work?

Series two of Aziz Ansari’s award-winning Netflix show, Master of None, features a standalone vignette episode called “First Date.” In the episode, Ansari’s character, Dev, matches with a dozen women on a dating app, and takes each one to the same restaurant, bar, and taxi journey.

Around halfway through the episode, we learn that not only are the dates identical, but the app openers are too.

going to whole foods
“Going to Whole Foods, want me to pick you up anything?” says Dev to every match.

Is it a good idea to just keep sending out the same thing — or is that a “nope-ner”?

A good opener is the thing that’s going to get you a conversation, and hopefully a date. A bad one adds you to the list of left-swipes. The “going to whole foods” message seems to be working for Dev, and sums up his foodie nature pretty accurately in just one sentence.

But, unfortunately for Dev, most of my friends’ responses to this stock-messaging was an absolute no. No one did it, and no one admitted to replying to obvious cut and paste openers.

There are swathes of instagram accounts, such as @tindernightmares, filled with screengrabs of the worst, most obvious nope-ners, and the overall response was that it really doesn’t, and shouldn’t, take too much effort to tailor an opener to someone you’re interested in.

tinder nightmare
An actual “Tinder Nightmare.”

One friend, though, admitted a standard cut and paste for her dating app exploits:

asking someone
Asking someone what state they want to “eliminate” helped her get to know them AND is probably the least sexy question ever — a win-win that any woman could spot.

Her afterthought made me despair as much as it made me lol — and this is the crux, maybe.

Women on dating apps, as noted in “First Date,” are mostly trying to avoid unsolicited dick pics.

Coming up with a standard opener that not only manages to check a person’s political inclinations, but also is almost impossible to subvert, is actually pretty smart.

I wanted to know, though, if wiping a US state off the face of the earth ever actually got her a date. When I asked, she put it at “an 80 percent success rate” of getting a conversation, which seems like fairly impressive odds.

One of my friends actually admitted to that dating app faux pas — the opening of “hey.”

In the interest of fairness, I also quizzed some boys on whether they ever used the same opening gambit on their dating app adventures. They all said no, but varyingly admitted that their chat depended on whether they were particularly interested in the first place.

dating app
If you’ve ever wondered why in the world any guy would just open with “hey” on a dating app — well, unfortunately, here you go.

I think every single person on a dating app has either sent or received a lazy “hey.” It’s one of the fundamentals of dating apps — you’re swiping left and right and not really paying attention. Maybe you’re multitasking, or maybe it isn’t even you doing the swiping because sometimes a group swiping session is necessary.

Dating apps are convenient. They’re sitting there on your phone, ready and waiting for when you have a spare few minutes. The lazy “hey” almost betrays the lack of care in who you’re actually meeting.

dev in action
Dev in action.

I pushed at this conversation a little bit more, intrigued at whether there was much difference in date-success rates. Somewhat disappointingly, lazy openers apparently ended up on about the same amount of dates as tailored ones. (The non-lazy dates went better, though, apparently.)

Dating apps exist in a strange limbo between the intimate and the impersonal.

Maybe a good cut and paste opener isn’t actually a bad thing (not that we’re advocating no-effort “hey” messages!). People are busy, and dating is time-consuming, especially on an app where you aren’t invested in any one person yet. You need some chat to get to know each other, and then make a decision based on that.

But, putting some effort into the process is a good idea, too, and maybe using the same openers all the time does acknowledge that. It’s a quick way of finding out if something important to you matters to someone else. If they hate the state you love, or if their idea of doing groceries is keeping condiment sachets from their takeaway in the fridge, those are things you’ll want to know pretty quickly.

In that spirit, then: can I pick you up anything from Whole Foods?

For more reading on modern dating, check out “Why I Am Loving The First Date” or “5 Hopeful Dating Tips, From A Woman Who Finally Found Love.”

“Behind the Swipe” with LOVE TV — The Story of 10 Tinder Dates in One Month

My name is Amor Yates and I’m the girl who went on ten Tinder dates in one month for a podcast. That’s my pitch. If you’re questioning my sanity right now then you’d be right.

Ten Tinder dates in a month is a huge undertaking even if you weren’t trying to produce a show. But I was trying to produce a show. So, I set myself a target goal: ten dates in one month, ten interviews, ten hours worth of audio. Easy, right? It seemed like enough material to make a compelling story, especially when online dating has become as ubiquitous as it is today.

I thought the show would write itself. I was wrong.

There were a few factors that I did not consider when I got the idea for “We met on Tinder.” I thought that once I had done the interviews, collected the tape that the hard part would be done. However, that wasn’t the case. It also wasn’t the case that I was entirely interested in documenting this dating digital age. I wish it were that easy.

Instead, I had a few hundred different motivations, but one in particular that was compelling me more than ever. So I had to make the show. There was no question that I had to make even when friends and family thought it was a weird concept. But I don’t want to ruin the story for you. Instead, I want to let you in on a few “We Met on Tinder” secrets.

I am teaming up with LOVE TV to showcase a behind-the-scenes of “We met on Tinder.” As I release the swipes on iTunes and anywhere you listen to podcasts, I’ll also be releasing articles discussing what happened behind each swipe. Swipe 1 has been released and is available to listen now. Enjoy the swipes.





9 Ways To Meet People Besides Scrolling Through Dating Apps

Don’t let your phone do all the work.

Your fingers are sore from the constant swiping, your mind tired from constantly thinking of witty quips for your next dating profile. I hear you. I’ve been there — in fact, I’m there now.

The good news is that you can always take a hiatus. The better news is that you can still meet new people, sans screen.

Here are some ideas for how to meet people in real life.


The benefits of volunteering are limitless. I got my current full-time job through being a committed volunteer. I’ve made lots of friends volunteering. The same extends to finding a date.

While you shouldn’t volunteer just to meet a date (because gross), volunteering is a major way to expand your network. Lots of volunteer programs have mixers of volunteer appreciation nights – try going to one and seeing who catches your fancy after a few drinks.

Go to meetups

I’ve used meetup.com for poetry workshop groups and for practicing French conversations. It’s an excellent way to meet folks you’ve never met before.

Creating a profile is pretty straightforward, it’s mainly a matter of choosing what your interests are. This way, you’ll definitely meet folks you share a common line with. If nothing else,you’ll make new friends – especially if you go consistently

Partake in an artistic community

Are you a painter, writer, dancer, or musician? Or do you appreciate those art forms? When I say get involved in your town/city’s art scene, I don’t just mean going to the big museums; I mean going to open mics, local shows, small gallery openings, and community theater performances. I’ve gotten the chance to meet so many awesome creatives by simply going up to the performers later and telling them how great they were.

Most local art is reasonably priced, and because it’s so small, when you see the lead of Antigone the musical that wowed you, you can tell them in person (and slip your number if you’re feeling flirty).

Take classes

Learning is the thing I miss most about school. Luckily, there are plenty of adult learning opportunities.

Want to brush up on your college pottery? Or learn to make pots like Sam in “Ghost?” Look into a local class and meet other folks who want to expand their minds, too. You’ll always have a discussion topic – class!

Accept your friends’ party invites

Easier said than done. I am the #1 champion of calling it a night early because it’s 10:00pm on a Friday and sometimes, bed is just a nice place to be. But I’ve also forced myself to go out and ended the night with two new numbers in my phone. Go to your friends’ birthday parties, or random club meetings and expand your network. Most job opportunities (and romantic opportunities) tend to come from folks like acquaintances, or people who aren’t part of your immediate friend circle.

Eat out/go to bars alone

I know, I know – wild. More people do this than you would think. Try picking a bar that’s on the quieter side and sit at the bar, so you can at least chat up the bartender. I’ve done this before and had plenty of friendly, non-creepy conversation. Plus sitting alone makes you look confident, and confidence is way sexier than bona fide good looks. If you’re still nervous about it you can bring a good book as backup.

Join a book club

join a book club

You’ve been telling yourself you want to read more for years. Just join a book club already! You can find one through a friend, or through websites like meetup. Nothing’s hotter than someone with a working brain. Ask your book club crush about their thoughts on Zadie Smith and go from there. This is much better than eyeing the book titles of strangers on the train and mentally appreciating their choices in literature – which I do a lot.

Don’t work from home all the time

While working from home can be a blessing, it’s not so great on the social side of things. You’re missing out on all the office gossip and potential for flings (which, on second thought, might be a for the best after all). Get out of your PJs and hit up your local cafe. Once you become a regular, you notice the other regulars too, including the handsome barista at the bar.

Go to the dog park

Few things are as joyous as playing with a pup in the park, while low-key scoping for potential dates. A guy with a dog obviously has a soul, so the dog park works pretty well as a vetting location!

See if you can borrow a friend’s dog for a tousle in the park. If they have a busy schedule, I doubt they’d resent their dog getting more outdoor time.

You can totally meet people without relying on a screen. It’s as simple as getting the hell out of your house. Easier said than done. But once you get going, watch your phone fill up with contacts.

If you’d like to read more like this, check out: “Behind the Swipe” with LOVE TV — The Story of 10 Tinder Dates in One Month, 7 Love Lessons I Learned from the Amazon Show “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel”, and Is Your Dating Out Of This World? Here’s How to Find What Planet You Are

10 First Tender Dates: It’s a Swipe Left — Swipe Right World

When I set out to do the interviews for “We met on Tinder,” I assumed I had a few questions that needed answering. However, spoiler alert: I left the swipe world with more questions than answers.

But I’ll have to go into that another time. At the root of everything was the question of experiences: the way we all date, what we are looking for and how we go about doing it. Maybe it was all just about hookups.

If you haven’t read “Swipe 1” you can do it here.

Swipe 2 was a guy named Matt. We recounted our dating experiences. He told me about a girl he hooked up with in Santa Cruz and his experience with the dating scene in Los Angeles. What I liked most about Matt was the ease of talking with him. It felt less like an interview and more like a date, which was not what I thought would happen. In the dates that followed, I had a new question to access.

How much of this was a date? How much was just an interview? Could I end up falling for one of these guys? What do I do if I fall for someone?

This show became something else. It became about answering questions myself. While I had the interviews set up for the guys I choose to question, I also had to discover things on my own. And if I were to fall for someone, what would that mean for the show and the way I made it?

This is when “We met on Tinder” began to shift for me and become about something more complicated than just a girl going on ten Tinder dates in one month. It became about what I was willing to explore in this swipe left, swipe right world. It became about what Tinder meant for me as a twenty something trying to find love.

You can listen to the full show below. And don’t forget, if you’re searching for a way to maximize your dating successes, you can join LOVE TV today!

Sister Mag showcased RAI, our Sister Company

Swiping through online dating apps to find (almost) Mr. Right is a daily digital routine for singles these days. Karinna Karsten, a relationship expert from Los Angeles, is the CEO and founder of Relationship A.I. A new and very special dating app that is based on tracking technology. Find out in our sisterMAG interview how this app works and why it is very interesting.

Relationship A. I. – Online Dating Reloaded

Why did you create your dating app?

Years spent working as a relationship advisor and CEO of LOVE TV, I addressed the challenges facing millennials in dating, wellness, and building relationships. I came to realise that dating has become increasingly complicated.

Keeping track of your dating life in today’s app-jungle plus real-life encounters has become a full-time job.

The dating industry was coming up with endless dating apps to meet people, but where do you go from there? We need help in our dating activity and making the best choices around our matches.

Relationship A.I. was born from the accumulation of all my data, research and work in the dating industry over the past 10 years.

What makes your dating app different?

Relationship A.I. is a Dating Tracker app. With RAI, users track their dating activity across multiple dating apps and in real life and build smarter relationships. You have probably tracked your steps or calories for health benefits, now you can track your dating activity to make the best relationship choices.

We don’t do the matchmaking part, we are the next step. Once you are interacting with matches on and offline, that is where Relationship A.I. comes into play.

Relationship A.I. helps you manage, evaluate, and coordinate your dating activity so that you can maximise your ROI (Return on Investment) for the time spent dating. Making sense of your dating life is key to creating the relationship you desire.

How would you describe your app in three words?

Advancing Love Intelligently!

How does your app work?

Once you download Relationship A.I. you will be able to add your matches in a few simple clicks, it doesn’t matter if you have one or several matches. Each match interaction is then tracked and evaluated and you can clearly see your dating progression.

You can also share your progress with your friends who can support you. Dating can be hard and people often don’t know where they stand. When users immediately see what is happening in their dating life and where the relationship is going, then they can identify patterns, deal-breakers, and make smarter relationship decisions faster.

Sharing your dating history with your best friends and tracking what happened on each date is also like a little black book and a valuable insight which can be really fun. RAI brings the joy back into dating and away from feeling alone on a dating app journey. Dating users feel more connected and empowered around the process.

Who should use your app?

Anyone who is dating or in a new relationship where they want to track their progress, however many matches they might have. RAI is an essential dating tool for the overall management and optimisation of your personal life. 

How much effort is necessary to use your app?

It’s very quick and easy to get started with Relationship AI. Just add your matches and choose the interactions you have had in a few simple clicks. Plus it helps you schedule your dates by syncing to your calendar.

Then you are on your way to making the best relationship choices for you based on your own real data.  

Is there a secret recipe for successful dating?

Speaking as a relationship expert, the secret recipe to success is gaining greater self-awareness of what is really happening on your dating journey. We might think we know how to date but our decisions are often myopic and based on past experience. What we think may not be true.

We need full transparency in our dating activity. Relationship A.I. gives you an immediate insight into your dating activity and data feedback to help you assess situations with clarity and confidence and move forward to the best individual relationship outcome.

Are there couples that have found each other with your app?

We are just about ready to launch Relationship A.I. While setting up couples is not the goal of our app, using RAI can support our users to create smarter relationships. For the first time, you can have a 360 degree view of your dating life.

Dating is of course just the first step. Do you have any tips for successful relationships? 🙂

Be mindful of the relationship journey as you start out and continue this thinking during the significant milestones of a relationship. RAI helps to support this process in the early stages of a relationship.

Be aware of your patterns and habits, and slipping into default behaviour like being the sole initiator or consistently available for someone who doesn’t show up for you. That doesn’t build up a quality relationship. Continue to develop your self-confidence, autonomy and demonstrate relationship aptitude -the ability to be present, active in building a relationship, sharing, contributing and loving the person you are with. Love is a journey and the greatest adventure worth taking.


Original Article: https://www.sister-mag.com/en/magazine/sistermag-no-55-january-2020/relationship-a-i-online-dating-reloaded/

Watch How to Date Smarter

Relationship A.I. can help you advance your dating progress, date smarter, and build a relationship life you can thrive in.

Watch to #Date Smarter.


  • Relationship A.I. is Your Solution to Dating
  • See Matches All in One Place
  • Track Dating Activity
  • Schedule Dates
  • Evaluate Dating Interactions
  • Get Friend Advice
  • See Your Dating Progress.

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