Sometimes your friend doesn’t text you, or says no to all your invites and you decide to stop trying. But, I assure you, your depressed friend who dropped off the face of the earth is not always terrible.
Reach out to them.
Love is a verb. Maintaining relationships can be a challenge because we’re taught to think, “what’s in it for me?” but sometimes kindness for kindness sake even when it doesn’t make sense to others is good enough. Here are some ways you can reach out and help them out.
And don’t forget, if you are feeling depressed because your relationships have been lingering in limbo for a while, join LOVE TV and we can help speed up your success.
1. Help Them Clean Their Room
Sometimes your depressed friend finds leaving the house taxing. They may call it being introverted, they may call it anxiety, they may call it exhausting. If you’re friend denies your request to meet them go to them. Meet them where they are.
If they’re like me, they don’t want anyone to come over because their place is an absolute mess. If they use that as an excuse offer to help clean their place. You can spend the whole day together, talking, but also help them deal with the overwhelming weight of dread they have about the mess, and listen to music, and eat.
Hanging out is not just about where you go, but about being together with someone you care about.
2. Check in on them during tragic incidents
Sadly, there are so many tragic incidents in the world, that Facebook asks people to check in if they are safe. If you’re friend has dropped off the face of the earth, you might not be the only person they are isolated from.
So, if something happens, ask them if they are alright. Believe me, they will feel grateful that someone somewhere remembers they exist, because I’m sure they probably feel forgotten.
3. Ask them what they want to do
If you find yourself telling a depressed friend what you should do, where you should go, try asking them what they want to do.
Having the choice might make them feel more inclined to go. They probably won’t bail because it’s something that they put into motion. Sometimes people say no, because it makes them feel out of control. Let them have the power every once in awhile and they’ll have to keep their word.
4. Invite them over for the holidays
Some of your friends may not enjoy hanging with their family on the holidays, or they may live too far from/can’t afford to/didn’t book the flight soon enough to visit family. So, please, please, if you’re having a big holiday get together, invite your friends. Don’t assume that they have plans. Maybe they won’t ask to join because they don’t want to be a burden or impose themselves, so ask them.
Even if they say no, most people will notice the effort eventually and say yes. Trust me, you don’t understand the brutality of being alone on the holidays if you’ve never been alone, so invite them if you can.
5. Pay for their dinner.
I’ve experienced this kindness that people will just pay for my meal. I can’t tell if it’s because I portray myself as a downtrodden damsel, because they appreciate my invite, or what, but oh, man, it feels good when people buy you a drink, or buy you an appetizer, or buy you a whole meal.
I think it’s best as a surprise when the bill comes but doing it before works too. On occasion I’ll pay for things even if I think I’m a downtrodden damsel because I understand that my friendship is sometimes more important than my need to play that role.
There are tons of other ways to keep friendships alive but I wanted to give you a taste of some things that have made me feel special. Relationships, like gardens, have to be nurtured. Even if the garden will not bear anything you don’t have to let it die.
It’s beautiful existing as is. And your friends are beautiful even if you don’t speak to them or see them everyday. If you can try once a month to reach out to friends who have drifted away but whose company you enjoy. Friends come in many forms so keep the good ones around!