Ladies, our insecurities are not our fault; we can overcome them once we recognize them. We can love our bodies and not have to worry about our looks. This can greatly reduce arguments based on insecurities.
Blowing things out of proportion
If you love each other that much why are you making a big deal out of little things? It’s as if the moment you’re in is the only thing that matters and you must solve all the problems right then. Really, it’s better to cool off, until you can apologize and think more rationally.
Try saying, “I’m experiencing irrational thoughts because my emotions are clouding my thinking. Because I love you, can you give me a little while to calm down?”
Take a moment to think about your place in the world. Do you have food and a roof over your head? Chances are you have it pretty good compared to most people. We get really disillusioned when we only experience privileged culture. We start fighting about little things and become ungrateful.
This does nothing but hurt us. If you want to have a healthy relationship, take time every day to remind yourself what you are grateful for. If you have ever experienced a time where you were stripped of the basic things you need such as a warm bed, money for food or a place to stay, it’s easy to put yourself in a place of gratitude.
If you have never experienced hardship, it’s more difficult to look at the big picture and realize you have it made. When we shift our focus from selfishness and try to think of ways to help others, we will stop critiquing each other harshly and wasting time arguing over petty small stuff. I’m just being real with you, speaking from experience and observation.
Where this kind of a relationship leads
This kind of a relationship can be extremely damaging to both people long-term if it’s not dealt with properly. When habits are created, it can lead to domestic violence or teach your children unhealthy ways of acting. No home should have arguing.
We are able to fix ourselves only, not the other person. If you can realize that, you are halfway to solving your problem. I have seen these types of relationships heal through therapy. However, people that are too proud to go to therapy can wind up emotionally handicapped and stay in this miserable reality for years after the relationship ends.
Chances are, you will continue to attract this type of relationship until you do some serious work on yourself, stop pointing the finger, and pick up the mirror.
How to deal with the situation
First of all, as I said, put down that pointing finger. Anger is a double edged sword and hurts you just as much as the other person. Take a look at your last argument; did you personally say anything hurtful? Do you think your ego is also partly the cause of these blow ups?
Unfortunately, many of us ladies, and I have been one of them, have a subconscious sense of entitlement. Not that we are bad people, but it basically is a way of behaving we are not aware of that is equivalent to shooting yourself in the foot.
Entitlement is a prideful attitude that makes us think we deserve to be treated a certain way without necessarily acting in a way that would deserve that type of treatment. Sometimes we are just downright spoiled. The last argument I was in, I took some time to think about everything I was grateful for about the other person.
I thought of all the things we had to be grateful for and how we were totally blowing things out of proportion. We were focused on first world problems, not real problems.
You need to take responsibility for your words, the tone of your voice, your ego and your pettiness. Real women care about more than their nail appointment, their dinner party and their pretty purses. Real women can put petty BS aside and be really kind and humble.