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How Men Can Succeed in the Boardroom and the Bedroom

IT’S easy to see how women benefit from equality — more leadership positions, better pay at work and more support at home. Men may fear that as women do better, they will do worse. But the surprising truth is that equality is good for men, too.

If men want to make their work teams successful, one of the best steps they can take is to bring on more women. This fall, the Internet sensation Alibaba went public after achieving years of extraordinary growth as China’s largest e-commerce company. The founder, Jack Ma, explained that “one of the secret sauces for Alibaba’s success is that we have a lot of women.” Women hold 47 percent of all jobs at Alibaba and 33 percent of senior positions.

Research backs him up. Studies reveal that women bring new knowledge, skills and networks to the table, take fewer unnecessary risks, and are more inclined to contribute in ways that make their teams and organizations better. Successful venture-backed start-ups have more than double the median proportion of female executives of failed ones. And an analysis of the 1,500 Standard & Poor’s companies over 15 years demonstrated that, when firms pursued innovation, the more women they had in top management, the more market value they generated.

Some men might wonder whether these benefits for the organization, and for women, might come at their individual expense, and ask, will I end up lower on the corporate ladder?

No. Equality is not a zero-sum game. More profits mean more rewards and promotions to go around. The risk is in not including women. Teams that fail to leverage the skills of a diverse work force fall behind. Two chief executives, John T. Chambers of Cisco, and Carlos Ghosn of the Renault-Nissan Alliance, have said that they can’t be competitive in the global economy without increasing their percentage of female executives.

In a previous article, we highlighted why men ought to share the “office housework” — taking notes, planning meetings and helping others. Doing more actual housework matters, too. Research shows that when men do their share of chores, their partners are happier and less depressed, conflicts are fewer, and divorce rates are lower. They live longer, too; studies demonstrate that there’s a longevity boost for men (and women) who provide care and emotional support to their partners later in life.

08WOMEN-articleLarge

If that isn’t exciting enough, try this: Couples who share chores equally have more sex. As the researchers Constance T. Gager and Scott T. Yabiku put it, men and women who work hard play hard. One of us, Sheryl, has advised men that if they want to do something nice for their partners, instead of buying flowers, they should do laundry. A man who heard this was asked by his wife one night to do a load of laundry. He picked up the basket and asked hopefully, “Is this Lean In laundry?” Choreplay is real.

Stepping up as a father also benefits men. Caring for children can make men more patient, empathetic and flexible and lower their rates of substance abuse. At Fortune 500 companies, when fathers spend more time with their children, they’re more satisfied with their jobs. And fatherhood itself has also been linked to lower blood pressure and lower rates of cardiovascular disease.

But the greatest positive impact may be on the next generation. Research in numerous countries reveals that children of involved fathers are healthier, happier and less likely to have behavioral problems. They are also more likely to succeed in school and, later, in their careers. A powerful study led by the University of British Columbia psychologist Alyssa Croft showed that when fathers shouldered an equal share of housework, their daughters were less likely to limit their aspirations to stereotypically female occupations. What mattered most was what fathers did, not what they said. For a girl to believe she has the same opportunities as boys, it makes a big difference to see Dad doing the dishes.

The flip side is true, too — sons reap rewards when their mothers have meaningful roles at work. Years ago, psychologists found that a surprisingly high number of America’s most creative architects were raised by “distinctly autonomous mothers” who were leaders in their communities or accomplished professionals. And in a recent study by the researchers Kathryn H. Dekas of Google and Wayne E. Baker of the University of Michigan, the people who found their jobs most meaningful and enjoyable were those whose fathers and mothers were highly engaged at work.

When children see their mothers pursuing careers and their fathers doing housework, they’re more likely to carry gender equality forward to the next generation. And when we make headway toward gender equality, entire societies prosper. Twenty-five percent of United States gross domestic product growth since 1970 is attributed to the increase in women entering the paid work force. Today, economists estimate that raising women’s participation in the work force to the same level as men could raise G.D.P. by another 5 percent in the United States — and by 9 percent in Japan and 34 percent in Egypt. “We’ve seen what can be accomplished when we use 50 percent of our human capacity,” writes the investor Warren Buffett. “If you visualize what 100 percent can do, you’ll join me as an unbridled optimist about America’s future.”

To make gender parity a reality, we need to change the way we advocate for it. The usual focus is on fairness: To achieve justice, we need to give women equal opportunities. We need to go further and articulate why equality is not just the right thing to do for women but the desirable thing for us all.

The women’s suffrage movement in the late 19th century provides a good case study. States did not grant voting rights when women campaigned for justice; suffrage laws got passed only when women described how having the right to vote would enable them to improve society. Similarly, during the civil rights movement, the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was careful to emphasize that racial equality would be good for everyone.

Many men who support equality hold back because they worry it’s not their battle to fight. It’s time for men and women alike to join forces in championing gender parity. Tell us how you’re leaning in for equality in the comments section here or on Facebook using the hashtag #leanintogether.


Curated by Karinna

Original Article

Funny Friday: Skype Sex

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=je93vzro1Ow

Long distance relationships can be hard, especially the lack of intimacy. But thanks to computers and smartphones, there’s no reason the two of you can’t enjoy a little sexy time, even if it’s more digital than personal. There are a few drawbacks though…let this couple show you the harder parts of having Skype sex!


 

Curated by Erbe

Why Orgasms are Good For Your Brain

As if orgasms couldn’t get any better, did you know they’re actually really good for your brain? When you orgasm, dopamine is released into your brain, bringing waves of happiness with it. When it’s over, your brain releases oxytocin, the cuddling and attachment hormone that draws you closer to your partner. Need more proof? Just watch the video above!


Curated by Sara

Original Article

How Much Sex Happily Married Women Have Vs. Unhappily Married Women

There’s nothing less sexy than putting a number on how many times a month you and your partner should be having sex.

But in the Business Insider video above, psychotherapist and author M. Gary Neuman suggests that carving out time for sex may be the key difference between happily married couples and unhappily married ones.

While working on his “Creating Your Best Marriage” video series, Neuman and his team polled more than 400 women and found that unhappily married women had sex three to four times a month while happily married women had sex 11 times a month.

“Believe it or not, it was not about the satisfaction of the sex, it was about the frequency versus infrequency,” he says of his 2009 research in the clip above.

So what’s Neuman’s best advice for fostering the kind of intimacy that leads to a little action between the sheets? First, you need to emotionally connect with your spouse.

“Sexuality in marriage is connected to the emotional connectedness of the spouses but sometimes that time needs to be planned out,” Neuman told The Huffington Post. “Go out on a weekly date night and talk about anything except the three subjects you always discuss: money, work, and kids. Those conversations aren’t what made you fall in love with each other and they won’t sustain your love either.”


Curated by Amber J.

Original Article

This is What Happens to Your Body During Sex

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWWl6L1QeO8

When the urge hits you and your partner, it’s likely that nothing will stop you. You both feel a rush as you reach for one another, your minds racing and yet blank at the same time. Adrenaline flows, your hearts pound. Everything intensifies. And that’s just the first stage!

There are four stages to the sexual response cycle: Excitement, Plateau, Orgasm, and Resolution. During each one, your body goes through a number of changes, many of which may not be noticeable, especially in the heat of the moment. Watch the video above to find out what happens to you during each one!


 

Curated by Erbe

Original Video

Tantra is Not P*rn

What if studying tantra could heal our addiction to Porn? What if tapping into our natural abilities to experience ecstasy changes everything?

I was really nervous when I first realized that I wanted to teach Tantra. What would people think? Would they be offended? Talking about sex is such a no-no. I live in a very small conservative community, how was this going to work?

But then a good friend said to me, “Do you realize what you’re offering people? Tantra is essentially the OPPOSITE of porn.” Once I realized this, I never looked back!

Porn is a funny thing. Despite some opinions, I believe that it isn’t inherently evil. Lots of people truly enjoy watching porn, including many couples who use it together to have a new experience. Yet it is seemingly undeniable that there are some real dark sides to porn.

Besides the obvious violence and anything involving children, there are much more insidious issues:

1) What We Look Like Is Everything

Porn focuses on being stimulated through the body. And so we are subconsciously told that sexuality depends on what your body looks like. You must be young, fit, have perky breasts and a large penis, otherwise you can’t be a good lover. And ironically this sets up a huge self-worth issue in everyone, particularly those who don’t see themselves as young, fit and perky. And for the ones that do, they still quite often don’t see themselves as perky or big enough. Ultimately, no one leaves happy with themselves.

2) It’s All About Successfully Pleasuring The Other

Porn focuses on pleasing the other. Now obviously there is some part of us deep down that knows that the desire to please our partner is actually a wonderful thing. But that isn’t usually how it comes across in porn. It comes across as the only thing that is important. That bringing the other person to orgasm is the only goal. And what’s wrong with that you ask? Well it is the message that our unconscious receives, that this is the only goal of lovemaking. That if you can’t bring your partner to orgasm, then there is no point making love. We end up with things like performance anxiety on both the giver and the receiver side.

Shot of nude female telekinetic posing with stones

3) Connection & Intimacy Aren’t Important

Porn has nothing to do with connection. It is simply a series of physical events that two people do together. There is no connection or intimacy. And this isn’t always bad, sometimes a round of rockin’ porn sex can be fun, but again it sends programming to our subconscious that this is what sex is about. That the connection doesn’t matter and it’s just about getting off.

4) This Is All We Are Capable Of

The worst part of it is that porn makes us believe that this is all that there is. We think that we know what sex is all about and that porn just plays the edge of it, which is what is so titillating. But it isn’t true.

THE TRUTH IS that we as humans are using maybe 5% of our sexual abilities. It’s like having a piano where we think that there are only 10 keys. So we get really good at playing chopsticks. But the truth is that there are 88 keys and we can actually play phenomenal mind-blowing music. But we just didn’t know.

Porn deepens the belief that chopsticks is all that there is. So we just play it edgier and edgier so that hearing it still interests us. But we are missing the boat.

So how does Tantra change all this?

It shows us the other 78 keys on the piano, and then teaches us how to play.

1) We Are So Much More Than Our Physical Bodies

The sexiest part of us isn’t our physicality. A truly sensual person has a presence about them that is absolutely captivating and enthralling. They can look at you and gently touch you in a way that will leave you spellbound. They will bring you into their inner quiet where you will breathe and touch each other sending chills and orgasms throughout your bodies. What their body looks like is quite irrelevant.

2) Pleasuring Is Greater When It Is Mutual

We are energetic beings as well as physical. When we are touching our partner, if we are really present and enjoying the feel of our partner’s skin, they will sense this. Your touch will be different than if you are just doing it in order to please them. When you are truly in the moment, there is an electricity that comes out your fingers (or other sexy parts) that permeates your partner’s entire body. As your partner’s body responds to this, this pleasure cycles back to you, and the giver and the receiver roles start to become blurred. There is just simply pleasure being shared regardless of who is doing what.

3) Connection Is Everything

We are DESIGNED to connect with each other on a very deep level. Human beings do not do well without feeling deep connection. We call it “neediness” and “being desperate” when someone is feeling disconnected. But it’s really just because deep down we know that we are capable of phenomenal connection. And when we feel this amazing connection, things in our lives just get better. Depression lifts. We don’t feel as anxious. We notice the joys in life. We appreciate each other. We feel a level of content and happiness that we just don’t experience when we are all alone.

In tantra, this connection comes first. This is the foundation of all the sexual play. It’s like you first have to “plug in” to each other before the energy can flow. And so there is real intention to drop our guards and allow each other inside to truly connect and experience each other.

4) Sex Is Meant To Be A Multi-Dimensional Experience

When we actually bring in everything that we truly are into our intimate experiences, we go from having simply physical sex to having an experience involving our minds, emotions, feelings, intuition, passion, presence, plus a pile of dimensions that you can’t even explain, they just happen.

And the most amazing thing is that it doesn’t take any tricks. It doesn’t take a pile of methods or fancy sexual abilities. It is actually incredibly natural and programmed into us, we just haven’t accessed it.

Spiritual nude woman telekinetically moving stone

So Will Tantra Rid The World Of Porn?

I don’t think so. We love sex. Our sexual desire makes us feel alive. And truthfully, watching other people have sex can be very titillating.

Tantra heals our REAL relationships with REAL people. Learning how to actually be intimate with others allows us to have incredibly satisfying relationships with the people around us. We feel deeper connections and our intimate experiences actually heal us and make us feel wonderful about ourselves!

So porn won’t go away, but for many, the addiction can fade, because once you start experiencing the opposite side, your true potential, true intimacy and the sexual experiences that we are designed to have, the porn can’t own you. It just doesn’t come close to comparing to the experiences you’ve had.

I mean, once you’ve driven a Mazerati, driving a child’s push car just doesn’t compare.


Curated by Karinna

Original Article

 

Are Smartphones Ruining Our Sex Lives?

The cause of our dissatisfying sex lives has been in our pockets all along, or so new research from Durham University suggests. People are more likely to be seduced by gadgets than by their partners.

According to the study commissioned by condom-maker Durex, smartphones are destroying sex lives.

The survey involved detailed interviews with 15 couples around the UK, 40 percent of whom confessed to delaying sex to use their smartphones or tablets.

Others revealed they had “raced through sex” in order to check their social media notifications or respond to messages.

One third of participants admitted to interrupting sex to answer incoming calls.

The study however revealed over a quarter of the couples had used their gadgets during sexual intercourse to film their encounters, while 40 percent had taken sexual pictures.

Dr. Mark McCormack, the researcher who carried out the interviews, claims taking gadgets into the bedroom has “potentially serious costs to relationships.”

Durex launched an online campaign on Wednesday, urging couples to avoid technology when with each other in the bedroom. Couples keen to know how their smartphones could make their sex lives more exciting were surprised to learn the answer is the ‘off’ button.

Businessman Ignores Sexy Woman Behind Him

I feel like my priorities are not in the right place,” one survey volunteer said.

You’re kind of cheating on me with Twitter,” one partner joked.

I’m guilty, I think I’m addicted to it and I wish I wasn’t,” another volunteer admitted.

Speaking to RT, sex and relationships blogger Emily Yates said “Being online can be quite dangerous when it comes to balancing relaxation and relationships.

“Technology is great for keeping us connected, but it encourages a disconnection with others,” she added.

Yates claims it is essential to find a balance between virtual life and relationships, adding “smartphones and laptops must be switched off to engage with those around us.”

She suggests it is “more than possible” to be cyber smart and have a great sex life.

“Technology is destroying intimacy in our relationships,” adding the tech invasion is becoming “the new normal, but it shouldn’t,” Paul Levy, senior researcher at the University of Brighton, told the Mail Online.

As the quality of physical connections dilute over time, “we adjust, expecting less,” Levy says. “We forget what real romance is.”

Researchers at the University of Missouri interviewed hundreds of Facebook addicts, aged 18 to 82, whose partners claim the social network has increased conflict in their relationship.

The study revealed a rise in jealously in tandem with increased usage, leading to break-ups, divorce and cheating.

An Oxford University study of 24,000 married European couples discovered a strong link between the uses of smartphones and social media, and marital dissatisfaction.

It found the more couples read about others’ exciting lives via their smartphones on social media, the more likely they would feel disappointment about their own.

True chemistry comes from intimacy,” suggesting technology can never replace human interaction, according the Siren dating app’ Susie Lee to the Mail Online.

We really need to learn how to focus on each other in the bedroom, rather than on our smartphones or tablets,” she added.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O925jNVmpOQ#action=share


Curated by Erbe

Original Article

 

Why Messy Sex is Okay

Over the last few years most public conversations about women and sex have focused on either the “He’s a stud; she’s a slut” double standard or, well, rape.

There’s no question as to whether these discussions should be taking place—they are essential to dismantling a culture overrun with sexual violence—but we lose something when negativity becomes the main lens through which we view female sexuality. We start seeing sex as an activity ripe for shame and harm, both physical and emotional. We also stop thinking about the joy.

Thankfully, there are some women out there committed to exploring the possibilities that lie ahead of us. These women are writing books and television shows that project a vision of sexuality that is truly for us, by us. Theirs is an eroticism that is stripped of that centuries-old sexism baggage—not to mention the female instinct to compare and contrast every detail of our intimate lives—and is just about us feeling good.

Dr. Emily Nagoski, author of the new book Come As You Are—yeah, that come—says that we’ve spent far too long talking about what kind of sex we are having, and how often we are having it, when we really need to be considering is what we actually like. “The thing we are not talking about enough is whether we are enjoying the sex we have,” she tells ELLE.com over the phone. “Not all sex feels good. Pleasure is not obvious. The more we focus on whether or not something feels good, the more we can transition to a more positive sexual experience for women.”

Nagoski says that one of the most important things for women to remember is that a satisfying sex life for one person does not necessarily a satisfying sex life for another make. We are all, hormonally, physiologically, and anatomically quite different, and we also evolve over time. Some women don’t experience spontaneous arousal, but end up getting really into it once things get going, while others have rich sexual fantasies and the urge to act on them. Both ways—and a myriad of others—can lead to fulfilling sex lives for women.

Hot young couple kissing outside on the stairs.

The one main mood killer getting in the way for women? Body hang-ups. And when we’re focused on how we look, we can’t let go and feel. “Your sexual response doesn’t just have a gas pedal, it also has a brake,” Nagoski says. When we start seeing ourselves from the outside, instead of feeling ourselves from the inside, the good feelings screech to a halt.

For Rachel Hills, author of the forthcoming book The Sex Myth, a better sexual future for women will only occur once we stop being labeled by our particular brand of sexuality. This means no more virgins, no more whores, and no more worrying about if we are too much of one or the other. “If this happens, it will open up possibilities for all of us,” she via phone. “We can have it or not have it, be kinky or totally vanilla. Overall, we can feel free to experiment because if this is not how people are [judging women], our sexual lives won’t be such a threat to our sense of self or how society views us.”

Indeed, efforts like the one to reclaim the word “slut,” well intentioned as they may be, still rely on the idea that sexuality is central to our identities. There are also limitations to our ability to redeem the phrase. For her new book, I Am Not a Slut, Leora Tanenbaum spoke to 55 young women and found that those who tried to take back “slut” ultimately had it backfire on them by way of social stigma. She argues that “in a culture where females are hypersexualized, embracing the word ‘slut’ does not seem like a radical protest. It seems like a capitulation.” (So much for SlutWalks, Rock the Slut Vote and Riot Grrl Kathleen Hanna’s famous cri de coeur by way of scrawling the word “slut” across her belly in lipstick, right?)

“MAYBE THIS SLUT IDEA IS TIRED ANYWAY.”

But maybe this slut idea is tired anyway. Like Nagoski and Hills explain, sexual liberation can’t just be about making it okay for women to have tons of intercourse. Instead, it should be about making it okay for women to have all sorts of sex in all sorts of quantities with all sorts of partners. Really, what does a being a slut even mean? We can do better than buying into either side of the slut mystique. And this is where I will endorse my contribution to a vision of a female sexuality we should be striving for: messy.

Hear me out.

Sexual messiness—the freedom to be neither prude nor slut, try things out, and not have one experience come to define you—is something women have been long denied. Messy means that we can love monogamy, except for that one time when we couldn’t help ourselves. Or, maybe, we are disciples of hook-up culture until that fine day when we meet Mr. or Mrs. right and never look away. Kinky? Corny? Idealist? So be it.

Messy means accepting that sex is often clumsy, that vaginas usually aren’t symmetrical, and that a roll on our bellies or some cellulite on our thighs will probably show up when we’re having a good time. Messy accepts that with good sex comes risk, emotional and physical, and that we can’t know until we try it. Messy makes room for the unpredictable, and allows for the eros of spontaneity to enter our bedrooms and bring us into the moment. It also makes room for uncertainty, mistakes, and occasional regrets—all parts of a healthy sex life and, when taking place in a non-violent atmosphere, a way for us to figure out what we like.

And, if you look for it, messy sex is kind of having a moment: On Girls, Hannah’s sex life is all about privileging exploration over perfection or relentless self-critique. On The Mindy Project, Dr. Lahiri has no problem speaking out about what she wants and doesn’t want between the sheets. The best example of this messiness, however, is Broad City, which, among its many other qualities, is a eulogy of sorts for the whole stupid Samantha/Charlotte, promiscuous/prude divide. Sure, Ilana is the show’s resident “Samantha,” except for the fact that she, despite her willingness to admit it, is involved in a pretty cute, and sexually fulfilling, monogamous relationship with Lincoln. Meanwhile, Abbi, the more conservative one, just pegged a dude on their first date.

It’s totally messy, completely f**ked up, and 100% right.


Curated by Karinna

Original Article

 

7 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Sexy

We’ll say it: After you’ve been with your S.O. for a fair amount of time, the glow wears off just a bit. You no longer feel like jumping him wherever there’s a flat surface and your sex life isn’t always super-steamy.

If you’re not careful, the word “monogamy” will eventually become synonymous with “ho-hum.” But, that doesn’t have to happen! There are totally ways to keep the fire o’ love burning for a very long while. The fine people at Men’s Health and Women’s Health have a few fabulous tips to make lust last in their “Big Book of Sex.” Here, we let you in on some of our favorites.

1. Rent a chick flick. Fun fact: Movies that are heavy on the romance raise levels of oxytocin, otherwise known as “the snuggle hormone.” A good rom-com will set the mood for a cozy, love-filled evening. Oh, and research from Kansas University shows that men love a good, sappy film, as well—not just the ladies. So, by all means, pop in “The Notebook!”

2. Don’t just say, “I love you.” It’s important to verbalize your feelings in other ways, too. A quick “Love you” as he’s headed out the door, or even before you hang up the phone, makes the phrase become a bit insignificant. Instead, show him your affection by using other words. Terms of endearment like “Honey” or “Sweetie” have the same connotation of affection. Also, let him know how much his gestures mean to you: “Thanks so much for filling up my gas tank yesterday. I really appreciated it.”

3. Change locations for making love. Mix it up. There is no designated area for getting it on, so why restrict yourself to the bedroom? Use the mirrors while getting hot and heavy in the bathroom, or even have a little outdoor sex—a whopping four out of five people surveyed said they’ve always wanted to try it. Um, what are y’all waiting for?

passionate young african couple kissing

4. Make out. Keep it simple and sweet, like you did when you were but a young teen. Restrict yourselves to 10 minutes of kissing only—with clothes on. Then, feel free to act more adult-like after you’ve set the mood. A hot make-out session will lead to even hotter sex.

5. Schedule sex. We’ve all been trained that you have to “be in the mood” to turn up the heat. That’s actually not true. Fooling around will get you in the mood, so feel free to set aside a place in your schedule just for you and your man. Everyone is busy, so it’s essential to create time for your sex life. It will keep you both happy and fulfilled.

6. Be open about your desires. A committed relationship is the one place you should be able to share your deepest secrets without fear of judgment or embarrassment. Have open conversations with your guy about any hot fantasies, let him do the same, then work together on making them happen. That way, you’ll both be satisfied between the sheets.

7. Have maintenance sex. It may sound less than appealing to get busy after a long day at work while the TV screams in the background, but frequent, run-of-the-mill sex is still that—sex. And it’s an important element for keeping the love alive. As Dr. Gina Ogden said: “This is the kind of sex that connects you and reaffirms your bond as a couple.” And that’s what you have to do, every day, to remain in love and in lust.


Curated by Erbe

Original Article

 

5 Ways Sex is Good For Your Health

There’s no denying that a good romp between the sheets feels great, but the good parts of sex extend beyond pleasure. Having regular sex has a number of health advantages, including lowering your risk of heart attack and easing away stress. So next time you and your significant other get the itch, just remember, it’s for your health!

1. Sex Helps Keep the Immune System Highly Active

Research has shown that People who have sex have higher levels of what defends your body against viruses, germs and other intruders. Researchers at university in Pennsylvania found that college students who had sex once or twice a week had higher levels of the a certain antibody compared to students who had sex less often.

2. Sex Lowers Your Blood Pressure

There are mountains of data emerged in studies that say that there is a link between sex and blood pressure. One landmark study found that sexual intercourse specifically lowered systolic blood pressure. reduces Heart

Lovers

3. Sex Reduces Your Risk of a Heart Attack

Having an active sex life is beneficial for your heart. It not only raises your heart rate in a good way, but it also sex helps keep your oestrogen and testosterone levels in balance. When either one of those is low you begin to get problems, like osteoporosis and even heart disease. During one study, men who had sex at least twice a week were half as likely to die of heart disease as men who had sex rarely.

4. Sex Improves Women’s Bladder Control

Doctors say that a strong pelvic floor is important for avoiding incontinence, a condition that is will affect 30% of women at some point in their lives. Good sex is more like a workout for your pelvic floor muscles. Having an orgasm causes contractions in those muscles, which strengthens them.

5. Sex Eases Stress

Touching and hugging can release the body’s natural feel-good hormone. Sexual arousal releases a brain chemical that revs up your brain’s pleasure and reward system. Also, sex and intimacy can boost your self-esteem and happiness. Another important factor is that being close to your partner can soothe stress and anxiety.


Curated by Erbe

Original Article 

The 12 Greatest Sex Symbols of the 20th Century

Everyone needs role models — people we can look up to and emulate such as world leaders, brain surgeons, architectural geniuses, mathematical wizards, artists, rocket scientists, writers … sex symbols.

Keeping up with Kim Kardashian’s naked body seems to be on everyone’s to-do list. (Why else would she pose in her birthday suit every other week if we didn’t LOOK?) Sex symbols are adorable. We have our favorites including Jessica Simpson, Kate Upton, Jennifer Lopez, Penelope Cruz and Gisele Bundchen, just to name a few.

For the record, we’re not just now discovering sex symbols. They’ve been around for centuries (most likely since 50 BC; think Cleopatra) so let’s take a look at some women who blazed the modern trail back in the 1950s, 60s and 70s when breasts became a national obsession and Playboy magazine was every man’s dirty little secret. Women have come a long way baby. BUT, men are still apparently driven by bosoms. So here are 12 original sex symbols we can thank for setting those booby traps (with one exception in the mix).

Marilyn Monroe
marilyn monroe sex symbol
Marilyn Monroe is an erotic-sex-symbol legend for good reason. Besides being featured in the inaugural issue of “Playboy” magazine, becoming their first “Sweetheart of the Month,” (changed to “Playmate of the Month thereafter) in the 1953 December issue of the (then) controversial magazine, the “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes” actress became the first serious “dumb blonde.” Monroe’s beauty and sensual persona created quite the stir when she sang “Happy Birthday, Mr. President” to President John F. Kennedy at a celebration for his 45th birthday. Check it out here. Shockingly, the “Some Like It Hot” actress died on Aug. 5, 1962 at the age of 36.

Jayne Mansfield
jayne mansfield
Jayne Mansfield, who became one of Hollywood’s original blonde bombshells, also played up the “dumb blonde” image and became known in some circles as the “working man’s Monroe.” The popular 1950s/1960s sex symbol enjoyed success on the Broadway stage (“Will Success Spoil Rock Hunter?”) as well as in Hollywood movies (“The Girl Can’t Help It”). Fun trivia: “Mansfield claimed a 41-inch bust line and a 22-inch waist when she made her Broadway debut in 1955… She was known as the Cleavage Queen.” Married three times with five children (actress Mariska Hargitay is her forth child), Mansfield sadly was killed in a car accident on June 29, 1967 at the age of 34.

Raquel Welch
raquel welch
Raquel Welch was among the most iconic sex symbols of the 60s and 70s, which put her on the top of some pretty sexy lists: According to Wikipedia “Welch was chosen byEmpire Magazine as one of the 100 Sexiest Stars in Film History. Playboy Magazine named Welch no. 3 on their 100 Sexiest Stars of the Twentieth Century list. In 2011,Men’s Health Magazine ranked her no. 2 in its Hottest Women of All Time list.” The 74-year-old actress still struts her stuff on red carpets, serving notice that women in their 70s still rock!

Brigitte Bardot
brigitte bardot
It’s hard to believe that Brigitte Bardot, the former “sex kitten,” is 80! The sensual French model, actress, singer and animal rights activist became a high-profile sex symbol in the 50s and 60s largely due to her first husband, director Roger Vadim (who would later marry Jane Fonda), who showcased her in the 1956 movie “And God Created Woman.” Although the marriage didn’t last, her career did for many years,until her retirement from the entertainment industry in 1973. Some actresses are immediately recognized by their first names. Bardot was known by her two initials: BB.

Lana Turner
lana turner
Actress Lana Turner’s sweaters should have had their own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. The “Imitation of Life” actress was one of the first well-known beauties who made a fashion statement by wearing a tight sweater to showcase her bust line, thus earning the nickname “the sweater girl” (a nickname she reportedly detested).Turner capitalized on her curvy figure throughout her career. She was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Actress for her role in the 1957 film, “Peyton Place.”

Gina Lollobrigida
gina lollobrigida
This Italian actress, who was one of the highest profile European actresses of the 50s and 60s, wasn’t afraid to show off her full figure when a film called for a voluptuous actress. The 87-year-old actress appeared in films with the likes of Yul Brenner, Frank Sinatra, Rock Hudson, Anthony Quinn and Burt Lancaster. Humphrey Bogart once said: “Gina makes Marilyn Monroe look like Shirley Temple.” Momma Mia!

Ann-Margret
actress ann margaret
Ann-Margret has been described as both the “girl next door” and “sex kitten.” The 73-year-old actress, singer and dancer is best known for her roles in “Bye Bye Birdie,” “Viva Las Vegas” (where she and Elvis tore up the screen with sex appeal!), “The Cincinnati Kid,” and for one of her most voluptuous roles, in “Carnal Knowledge.” So, how sexy was she? She was once described as the “female version of Elvis Presley.” The red-head from Valsjöbyn, Sweden always spoke with a soft, sexy, demur tone that defined her massive sex appeal. Check it out here.

Elizabeth Taylor
elizabeth taylor
Elizabeth Taylor became one of the most famous film actresses of all time and was considered one of the most beautiful women to ever grace the big screen. Her sex appeal didn’t go unnoticed in movies like “Cat On A Hot Tin Roof,” and “Cleopatra.” Taylor was somehow able to pull off a combination of the strong woman image mixed with her vivacious on-screen sex appeal.

Sophia Loren
sophia loren
Was there a man in this universe who didn’t drool at the sight of this Italian sex symbol in the 50s, 60s and beyond? Her soft Italian accent just fueled the sensual sparks she emitted on screen and off. Her hourglass figure didn’t hurt her image either, and her acting talent made her sexy persona even more enticing. Loren earned an Academy Award for Best Actress in 1962 for the film “Two Women.” The sexy octogenarian is 80 and single. Gentlemen, start your engines!

Jacqueline Bisset
jacqueline bisset
Wet t-shirt Alert. Just in case you’ve forgotten who started the wet t-shirt craze, look no further. After wooing audiences in the late 60s/early 70s with various film roles, Bisset decided it was time to grab some serious attention from American audiences by swimming underwater wearing only a t-shirt for a top in “The Deep,” helping to make the film a box office success. Producer Peter Guber reportedly said, “That t-shirt made me a rich man.” That little stunt led many to credit her with popularizing the wet t-shirt contest.”

Ursula Andress
ursula andress
Honey. Honey Ryder. 1962 was her year. The “Dr. No” actress became the first “Bond Girl” and made her wet bikini screen entrance a sight to behold in what “became aniconic moment in cinematic and fashion history when she rose out of the Caribbean Sea in a white bikini sporting a large diving knife on her hip.” The bikini never had a better introduction, and we’re betting the 78-year-old actress could still make waves.

Farrah Fawcett
farrah fawcett
Finally. It was all about the hair! No one in the history of entertainment was more famous for a head of hair than Farrah Fawcett. The “Charlie’s Angels” actress became a household name in 1976 after taking on the role of Jill Monroe in the hit ABC TV series. And then there was The Poster! Pro Arts Inc. pitched the idea of a FF poster to the star’s agent, and you know the rest of the story. That poster went on to become the best selling poster of its time, selling over 20 million copies. Now that’s one sexy angel.


Curated by Timothy

Original Article

 

6 Ways to Awaken the Tantric Lover Within You

We are all born Tantric lovers, because we are all born as divine, loving pure presence.

When most people think of Tantra, they think of the Kama Sutra and a host of awkward sex positions that seem unattainable even to the well-practiced yogi. Many think Tantra is all about sex.

Yes sexuality is a part of Tantra, because Tantra is Love; Tantra is Life. So sexuality obviously falls under this broad category.

Tantra is love. Tantra is connection, presence and conscious relating to one’s self and to another. Tantra combines spirituality and sexuality as a platform to deepen into self-understanding and empowerment, and is a sacred path walked by many.

Living a Tantric life unveils gateways to balancing and integrating our masculine and feminine energies, in order to feel whole again. To feel connected to our truth and infused with copious amounts of love and acceptance. A Tantric life allows one to see the divine and sacred in every living being and experience.

Exploring Tantra also creates space to shine light and heal shame, guilt and suppression — embedded in our society around our sexuality, where the seat of our personal power and creative gifts lie.

So how does one become a Tantric lover?

Bringing Tantra into your life means inviting in more love and presence. And yes, this includes your sex life as well.

Below are six tips on how to infuse the sacred in the bedroom and awaken the Tantric Lover within:

1. Think of love making as a sacred ritual.

Shift your perception from “having sex” to “making love and co-creating with the divine.” Set up your bedroom as a sacred space; a temple. Create an altar in your bedroom with things that are special to you both; things that support the growth of each other and the highest good of all. Add special photos of the two of you, sacred books or other objects for manifestation purposes. Light candles and burn incense. Create a beautiful, nurturing and sensual space.

2. Meditate and set intentions before love making.

Before engaging in love making, take time to sit in meditation together while facing each other. Call forth your highest selves and offer your bodies up to a higher power. Imagine energy forming around the two of you individually, as well as around the both of you. Envision a third co-creative field being created.

Set intentions for the journey together and ask yourselves what you want to offer up to the divine through this act of love making between your bodies. Set clear intentions — individually and collectively — for the relationship.

3. Commit to presence.

By committing to being 100% present with each another creates space for true feelings, vulnerability and honesty to unfold. This in turn, will allow you both to go deeper into your highest self and to your partner. Do not be afraid to be honest, with how you are exactly feeling.

Check in with your body, constantly asking what it wants and where it is at. For women: If your yoni is not yet wet, it is an indicator that your body is not ready to receive. Do not lie to yourself and go against the natural signals from your body. Continue to dive deeper into yourself to look for any blockages, barriers and resistances; for these will only allow you to open more.

Relaxing With Massage

4. Practice Tantric massage on your partner.

Take time to massage and worship each other’s body with full presence and awareness. Do not rush into the act. Use deep, slow and mindful massage. You may also practice a Tantric technique of yoni and lingham worship, by worshipping each other’s genitals.

5. Men: Learn how to hold your seed.

All ancient Tantric traditions encourage men to retain their seed. Spiritually, this allows the energy to flow back into the body upon orgasm and raise up the body through the chakras. This leaves the man feeling energized as opposed to drained after sex, for his energy is being retained and used for higher spiritual purposes. Men become more focused, clear and present as a result. Plus they can continue to make love for hours and hours…

6. Ditch any expectations and agenda.

The golden rule is to never have an end goal in mind. Goal-oriented sex; to reach a peak in orgasm, will leave you both disappointed and disconnected from one another in the present moment. Much like in life, when you have expectations you often miss what is actually in front of you and REAL.

Commit to the authentic deepening of your bond, rather than reaching a climax. And then once you make this mental shift, the climax will occur naturally, unexpectedly and even more intense.

Young adult nude couple. High contrast black and white

How to Date Today: A Guide for Every Generation

My mother is a baby boomer.  She’s from a different generation of ideas about love and dating- she was a virgin when she married my Dad, and in dating, she expects to be courted, with flowers and formal plans. Recently, she had a long-term boyfriend that my sisters and I talked her out of marrying, because although she didn’t really want to, that’s what she thought she was supposed to do.   

Mom: “But I’ve been seeing him for months, and everyone in town can see when his truck is parked outside my house!”

Sisters: “WHO CARES?  You don’t have to get married unless you really want to!”

Mom: “But I go to church!”

My middle sister and I are Gen-X.  We can remember dating in personal ads, when you would try to find someone with the same taste in movies and food and never see their face until the first date.  My sister was in an eight year relationship where she wore nothing but flannels and ironic baby tees.  We don’t have my mother’s reservations about living in sin- our generation has been known to live together for several presidential terms before considering marriage.

My baby sister is a Millennial.  Her generation has never dated without the internet.    All of their jobs involve social networking.  They do not seem to know how to have a relationship, even if they want one.  They only know how to hook up.  They don’t plan ahead for dates, when they have a free hour they see who’s around.  They say that they’ll fall in love with the perfect person, but they’re not sure who that is.  They are not allowed to have body hair.  And their dating style is ruining it for the rest of us. 

The single serving date phenomenon has become a big part of the dating experience, at least in big cities.  Once you’ve had one date, that person is suddenly in competition with everyone else in a twenty mile radius.  As it turns out, even LA is not as big as people think it is- every rock show I attend is full of one-date men I have to avoid eye contact with.   People are simply not being born or imported fast enough to be rejected by us!  The most popular breakup method is the “fade-away”, where after two or ten dates you slow, then eliminate contact.  It’s not just people in their twenties and thirties- I went on a couple dates with a fifty year old man whose longest relationship was shorter than his Audi lease, and he felt that this was extremely normal.

Young Couple Kissing In Restaurant

So far, I have had 50 first dates on OK Cupid and have had three relationships.  Some people were looking for relationships and some were not, and those aren’t terrible numbers, but now that my Mom is in the game, she calls me to crow about her account. 

“I have three dates this week, and your sisters don’t have any!”  I told her I was very proud that she was the hot piece of action in our family.

Missionary Sex: Why It’s the Unsung Hero of Lovemaking

The Missionary Position has gotten a bad rep among the human race and I can’t determine why exactly. Could it be the confusing religious connotations of the name and the god-fearing history behind it? Could it be simply personal preference? Could it be that it reminds us of juvenile, inexperienced, naive love? When we couldn’t locate the clitoris if our lives depended on it and we had to keep our moaning to a whisper because our parents were sleeping down the hall. When our orgasms were ultra mysterious, in the sense that we had no idea what triggered them or how to hit that invisible button.

Whatever the reason, it is a common held belief that missionary is rather uninventive. Unoriginal. Uninspired. Unappealing. Unsexy. Unfun. Some think it’s the dullest way for two individuals to climax into ecstasy together. In my early romps of youth, I was told by many a compadre to “spice things up” in the boudoir. “You can’t just keep doing missionary forever. There are so many BETTER positions out there”, they would proclaim loudly with large, erotic gestures. I was intrigued by these “better positions” they spoke of and hoped the new, glamorous internet would lead me to dangerous, mind-blowing, Cruel Intentions level intercourse.

I turned on my desktop and discovered a smorgasbord of positions that looked highly titillating and highly awkward. I wrote them on a notepad and began to check them off one by one as I experimented with sexual partner(s). But to my dismay none of ‘em did the trick for me. Sure, a few were enjoyable enough. Even pleasurable and I could definitely partake in them for a period of ten minutes straight without discomfort. But I couldn’t find a replacement favourite. No matter how hard I tried I kept coming back to old, reliable horizontal body on top of horizontal body. That was six years ago and it continues to be my position of choice today. I will defend that style of quote unquote, uninventive, unoriginal, uninspired, unappealing, unsexy, unfun lovemaking until the minute that I die. I think missionary is the bees knees and there is nothing wrong with that.

But even though I’m confident in my opinions, I often get asked “WHY?” by friends when I reveal this information about myself. It perplexes certain folks, so, I’d like to state, for the record, WHY indeed missionary is my beloved number one.

Couple having sex, female hand grabbing sheet

The Eye Contact

I found in my experimentation days of yonder that the majority of naughty, wild, contortionist movements lacked face to face action. There was a good deal of back to chest action. Butt to crotch action. Head to foot action. But our eyelashes were rarely having a party. And that was unfortunate ‘cause I prefer to be able to look deep into the pupils of my lovah always and forever. Eyes are hot, baby. What can I say?

The Body Contact

Another feature of the “popular with high school students” position is that the bulk of your skins are rubbing up against each other a whole heck of a lot. Doggy style is a remotely okay time but I feel super distant from the person thrusting and holding my hips from behind. I’m more present and I find that my partner is more present because I’m more present when our whole bods are in mega close proximity to each other and our gross sweat blends into one stinky puddle.

The Clit Contact

I have read that there are superior places to put your pieces for clitoris stimulation but me lying flat on my back with my legs wrapped around the gentleman I am coitusing gets my clit buzzing like nothing else (other than cunnilingus of course – technically my favourite position is a man’s face in my vulva). I don’t orgasm via penetration but the moments I have gotten the closest have consistently been due to the “work of the lord” aka MISSIONARY, HELLO.

The Emotional Contact

And with eyes and bodices and clits comes the overflow of brain feels and oxytocin bonding between my head and the individual on top of me’s head. Intercourse is an intimate experience for moi, as it is for a hefty portion of the population, and when affection levels are tall my hormonal bliss levels are equally as tall. I’m not saying non-missionary-fornifcation can’t be emotional, but for me, my heart beats stronger and louder when I’m doing it like I’m sun tanning on a beach and the beach is my bed and the sun is a penis.

Lusty Couple In Bed

The Hugging Contact

I adore the sensation of orgasming and making others orgasm. When that occurs in missionary I can proceed to canoodle, embrace, and lock post-sex arms (more noodle like than regular arms). This can be achieved with some adjusting in other positions but it will take a minute or two to arrive at your destination. I prefer immediacy with my exhausted, extremely content, grateful after-copulation cuddling. That’s kinda the best part in my opinion so let’s get to it already.

Flow Contact

Ballet classes gave me trouble as a tween and my rhythm continues to be off today. When my muscles are doing junk that they were not designed to do my whole body goes into shock. You might be capable of putting this there and sticking that here and I honestly applaud you. I am impressed because that is not a possibility in my realm. I am comfortable in missionary and with comfortability comes excellent flow. And with excellent flow comes me being in rhythmic sync with the sentient creature inside me.

Experimentation Contact

I know. I have denounced experimentation this entire time BUT I am truly not against it in the least. Thing is, you can do research and development WITHIN mish (abbreviation for the non-with-it peeps). Your legs can go up, your arms can go back, and your butt can levitate off the duvet. Just because it seems plain Jane, doesn’t mean Jane can’t let loose on the weekends or the weekdays or holidays or days that only exist in leap years. Jane can toss her leg behind her head like she’s a professional gymnist or somethin’ whenever she wants.

I rest my case. Missionary FTW, y’all.

 

10 Surprising Health Benefits of Sex

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ThOK4i2dt8

1. Helps Keep Your Immune System Humming

“Sexually active people take fewer sick days,” says Yvonne K. Fulbright, PhD a sexual health expert.

People who have sex have higher levels of what defends your body against germs, viruses, and other intruders. Researchers at Wilkes University in Pennsylvania found that college students who had sex once or twice a week had higher levels of the a certain antibody compared to students who had sex less often.

You should still do all the other things that make your immune system happy, such as: Eat right. Stay active. Get enough sleep. Keep up with your vaccinations. Use a condom if you don’t know both of your STD statuses.

2. Boosts Your Libido

Longing for a more lively sex life? “Having sex will make sex better and will improve your libido,” says Lauren Streicher, MD. She is an assistant clinical professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine in Chicago.

For women, having sex ups vaginal lubrication, blood flow, and elasticity, she says, all of which make sex feel better and help you crave more of it.

3. Improves Women’s Bladder Control

A strong pelvic floor is important for avoiding incontinence, something that will affect about 30% of women at some point in their lives.

Good sex is like a workout for your pelvic floor muscles. When you have an orgasm, it causes contractions in those muscles, which strengthens them.

4. Lowers Your Blood Pressure

Research suggests a link between sex and lower blood pressure, says Joseph J. Pinzone, MD. He is CEO and medical director of Amai Wellness.

“There have been many studies,” he says. “One landmark study found that sexual intercourse specifically (not masturbation) lowered systolic blood pressure.” That’s the first number on your blood pressure test.

Watch above for the final six!


Curated by Erbe