What You Seek Is Seeking You… Make LOVE Daily

“What you seek is seeking you” – Rumi.

It is often said that the way we can get closest to feeling complete, and being whole, enough; is by choosing LOVE.  I have to admit; that this is a concept I so struggled with in my past.  I grew up on a healthy diet of fear.  Fear of what others may think (I’m British, so this is a national dilemma for my people).  Fear of being too much; too happy, too shiny, too chatty, too honest.  And fear of not being enough; not fast enough for the team, not creative enough for art, not coordinated enough for dance, not good enough to make choir, or, as it turned out, not enough to make my father stay.

I set out to seek LOVE and acceptance in the world as a way to compensate for my self-perceived flaws.  I traveled the globe, looking for LOVE and finding what I had defined as LOVE in a multitude of experiences, yet frequently managing to come up short.  I had great jobs, created a great business.  I set up lovely homes and met amazing people.  I fell in LOVE and married a man.  But my subconscious fears of not being enough was mirrored back to me by my mate, and I would ultimately become someone else’s “more” to compensate for their “less”.  We both fell short.  From the outside looking in, you might think I was running a pretty awesome LOVE story, but my sense of dread was omnipresent and the burden of being responsible for another’s happiness had drained my heart to the point of collapse.  It wasn’t until I was living the terrifying day-to-day reality with a partner who looked anywhere and everywhere outside of themselves to feel good inside, that I realized this LOVE story was missing one critical character; its’ heroine.  For in the act of seeking LOVE, I had lost my true Self.  I had done a spectacular job of giving to others, but not to my Self, and the experience had left me beyond exhausted and numb.

In times of adversity, there is much gold to be mined.  And buried amongst the rubble of my broken heart, marriage and family; lay the shiniest, most radiant, yet simplest truth of all.  That LOVE began with loving me.  When I began to choose LOVE for my Self, my life would be forever changed.  And I would finally feel complete, whole and enough.

The compassion of my truth led me to the understanding that I was in need of redefining my relationship with LOVE and to begin living the answers to my questions.

Why am I here?  To learn how to LOVE, and be Loved.

What makes the world a better place to live in?  LOVE.

What am I seeking? LOVE.

What could we all use more of?  LOVE.

What can I give and never run out of?  LOVE.

What’s the language of the Universe? LOVE.

What connects us all?  LOVE.

What is the answer to all my questions?  LOVE.

Are You Just Scratching an Itch or Making Love? Find Out.

How do you know if you’re having SEX or ‘making LOVE’?

You wonder what difference it makes whether you call it making love or having sex. Well, if you really think, it makes a whole lot of difference. Having sex is just an act but making love is what puts soul, sense and gratification into that mere physical act. Moreover, sex can just be physically satisfying, but love-making is more soul enriching and makes you feel special and bonded to your partner.

Here are ten signs that can tell you how to differentiate between the two.

1. There is no foreplay: This is one element that makes your sex life either great or sucky. If foreplay is missing and you or your partner just wants to get into the main action, clearly you are not trying to bond but just satisfy your sudden sexual urge.

2. You don’t talk to each other: Dirty talk might not your forte, its okay. But if you fail to praise your partner or don’t whisper sweet nothings, your main action is going to be really dry and dull.

3. You are scared to talk about your fantasies: There is nothing vulgar between two people who are madly in love with each other and enjoy sex regularly. When in bed, modesty be damned, but if you are not able to talk or enact your fantasies, it clearly says that the action lacks love.

4. You don’t explore each other much: Not everyone gets aroused if you just touch down there. People have erogenous zones which remain unexplored most of the time. If your partner doesn’t make that extra effort to pleasure you and rushes into the act, then there is no question of lovemaking.

5. You want to get over the act really fast: A satisfying sex session isn’t about how long you spend time in bed but how well you bonded. At times, even quickies can be more satisfying if you both are in sync. But if you just want to rush into the act and finish it off, it is purely sex.

4 Tips for Getting Fit Through Good Sex

I’m all about multi-tasking. If you can hit two birds with one stone, why not, right? Making love with your spouse, boyfriend or lover can make for a great time, but did you ever think about the other benefits?

If done the right way, sex can be sexercise. After all, you’re stretching, clenching, arching and propping. Doing all of those things can work out some of those muscles of yours (not just his). Read on for some position ideas!

Bend Over and Stretch

With any workout that you do, you can never forget the importance of stretching. Usually you’ll bend over and touch your toes and hold for a few seconds. When it comes to sexercising, the idea is the same, but the procedure is slightly different. In the name of the stretching sexercise, simply bend over and lay your hands on the seat of a chair, while you keep your legs as straight (and comfortable) as possible. Let your partner have at it from behind, but pay attention to your legs’ form.

Being on Top Has Other Benefits

“We must admit, woman on top is our least favorite position because it requires the most physical effort,” says The Frisky, “but then again, riding cowgirl is way more fun than the Stairmaster, ain’t it?” Though, women usually say they can orgasm quickly while on top. Even better, there’s another benefit. Sit on top of your man while he’s sitting up. Wrap your legs around him and use your hands and arms to prop yourself up and down. That will work your triceps, biceps and forearms. If your arms aren’t strong enough, employ your legs and that should work out your thighs.

Crouching Can Replace Squats

I don’t know about you, but I hate doing squats. They’re just not fun. Doing squats in bed with your lover, on the other hand, is really fun. Simply squat on top of your man while he’s laying flat. Use your arms and legs to prop yourself up and down. Be careful though – we don’t want you to hurt your back. Do this slowly and watch your form so you don’t strain anything. Take breaks if you start to get really tired. Some of us aren’t used to this position and it takes some practice to master.

Make the Missionary Position Work for You

This sexercise sounds way too easy, you wonder. He’s on top and you’re laying on your back. How is this a workout, you ask? Well it’s all about stretching, arching and tightening. While he’s working, you can do some work on your own. Stretch your back, arch it here and there and tighten your abs. It’s like you’re doing pilates right in bed. If you want to sexercise even more than that, try tightening your kegel muscles while you’re at it – your lover will be sure to enjoy it!

Straight-Legged on His Shoulders

Stretch your legs, lady. Next time he’s on top and you’re laying on your back, take your legs and prop them right on each of his shoulders. This will not only stretch out your legs and help them tone during love-making, your abs will also feel some tension. Try to focus on your form and arch your back when possible – this will help tone your abs in the process.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Adult Preferences vs. Real Life – Millennial Women Respond to Adult Content…Take 2

Whether we like it or not, explicit film is a big part of our culture. Millennial women weigh in on their viewing experiences, responses and red hot opinions. Do you agree?

I, like most women my age, have watched porn at least once or twice in their lives. Like it or not porn is a huge part of sex today and it’s never been simpler to check out with the ease in which to access it. Gone are the days of having to walk into a video store while pretending to have interest in the New Releases wall before peering into the “back room” and forging a “aw, this should be amusing!” look on your horny face. Then attempt a casual perusement of VHS tapes with the well worn boxes with catchy titles like Tiger’s Wood, or How Stella Got her Tube Packed, all the while chucking audibly as if to inform the other customers that you’re in that room “as a joke” and “boy, this would be such a fantastic gag for my buddies to come over to watch a movie and whoops! There’s a porno in here! Ha-ha!” And finally the awkward small talk one would automatically engage in with the clerk with the hope of broadcasting “I’m very interested in the film aspect of this, and in no way am I going back to my one bedroom apartment to lock my three cats in the bathroom and masturbate furiously to this tape! I’m a cinephile after all!”

Now you can Google the word “sex” or simply type in the p and an o and you’re instantly directed to hundreds of sites where you can view your most sordid fantasies while stuck in traffic on the 405. And for FREE! The future is now!

I will freely admit that I am one of those women who likes to watch porn from time to time, and when I do I have a very specific kind of porn that I like to watch. I developed my preference through viewing experience. I put in the work people, it takes time! Here’s the thing about my porn viewing pleasures; the things I like to watch that I find sexy and titillating are NOT the things I like in my actual, real life sex life. In fact, if my husband attempted to recreate one of my favorite scenes, I would probably be freaked out!