Lists Archives - Love TV

13 Scientifically Proven Signs You’re in Love

January 26, 2015January 22, 2024 by zfortadminin LOVE

We all know the feelings that come with falling in love: butterflies in your stomach, a racing heart, and, of course, intense feelings towards the one you desire most. Now, thanks to researchers at Rutgers University, we have a better understanding of the science behind falling in love. Not sure if you’re in love? These 13 scientifically proven signs will answer that question, once and for all!

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5 Different Stages of Falling in Love

January 27, 2015January 22, 2024 by zfortadminin LOVE

According to new research, there are 5 different stages of falling in love. It all starts with Butterflies, the first step towards Stability. Read more about the stages and find out where you are in your relationship!

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12 Special Qualities A Woman Has That Mean You Should Never Let Her Go

March 23, 2015January 22, 2024 by Michael Warshauerin DATING ADVICE, LOVE

Every once in a while – on very rare occasions – we meet the woman of our dreams. It’s always unexpected and almost never at a convenient point in our lives, but she appears nonetheless and changes your life forever.

The dynamics between man and woman have been gradually changing for the past few decades, but the essence of the partnership basically remains the same.

We are designed by nature in a way that allows two such opposites to join and make a whole. Finding your other half is a journey of its own – usually a grueling one at that.

If you are lucky enough to find that woman, that rare sunflower growing on a barren desert, then do right by yourself and hold on to her as tightly as you can – never, ever let her go.

Not all of us were so wise when we met the loves of our lives… and believe me when I say that we’re regretting it. If she has any combination of these 12 qualities then you should never let her go:

1. She’s smarter than you.

Every man needs a smarter woman to help him get through life in one piece. They say that behind every great man is a greater woman – they aren’t lying. Without woman, man is little more than an ego-trip.

Enter a smarter woman into his life and suddenly that ego has a purpose, a direction, and the wisdom not to screw everything up.

2. She’s beautiful.

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder – as long as you find her to be incredibly beautiful, according to your definition, then she is worth holding on to.

I feel that these days we have those that put too much emphasis on beauty and then those that are rebelling against the concept and giving little to no importance to beauty.

Beauty is something that has been reveled upon since humans had eyes; it’s not something that we should be ashamed of, but rather something we should learn to appreciate properly.

3. She’s kind and nurturing.

Good people are kind people. If she isn’t kind then she isn’t worthy of taking up a part of your life. Being a woman, being nurturing is very important as well. Some people may not want children.

In some relationships the man may be more nurturing than the woman. Nevertheless, women are born with/develop maternal instincts with age. If you wish to one day start a family then you want to be sure you found a woman who wants to be, and is suited to become, a mother.

4. She’s vivacious.

Life gets difficult from time to time. It can get boring and monotonous just as well.

Women weren’t created to entertain men – if anything, it’s probably the other way around – but having a woman who is lively, energetic and hungry for adventure will add a dynamic to our life that will only make you happier.

5. She loves you with all her heart.

This is, by far, the most important quality any woman can have. When a woman loves you she loves you with her entire soul. It’s not the same sort of love that men experience – men always were and always will be more egocentric than women.

Women, on the other hand, have the uncanny ability to devote themselves entirely to the person(s) they love. If you find a woman that truly loves you then you found the greatest gift in the universe.

6. She’s willing to make compromises.

People are stubborn – both male and female alike. We like things the way that we like them and aren’t especially open to making changes we don’t deem necessary to make. However, relationships require making compromises.

It’s just the way things have to work if you want them to work. Finding a woman who will make compromises is only half the battle, however. You’re going to have to make them just as well.

7. She feels like home.

Being in love, deeply in love, is like finding your place in the world, your home, for the first time in your life. It’s knowing that you are exactly where you ought to be and that there is nowhere in the world you’d rather be.

If you look into her eyes and see your soul reflected in them, then you’re home. Don’t ever leave.

8. She is more than happy to tell you when you’re wrong.

Every man – and I mean every man – needs a woman who will call him out on his sh*t. Guys have an uncanny ability to make poor decisions and do stupid things.

Finding a woman who will keep you on track and tell you when you’re wrong can very well make or break your life.

9. She is strong, but feminine.

All people have a slightly different taste for the women they are attracted to – but they are all a combination of strength and femininity. A strong woman is a partner every man needs.

A feminine woman is… well, a woman. The two aren’t opposites. In fact, they are often one and the same – when found in a woman that knows how to hold her ground and be proud of who she is.

10. She’s passionate.

A life filled with passion is a life worth living. But living a life of passion alone is basically impossible. Passion exists between two living things – usually, in some way or another, between two individuals.

The beauty of passion is that it’s rather contagious. It’s the world’s most revered pathogen.

11. She’s driven.

I understand that some men want women to be stay-at-home wives. I also understand that there are plenty of women who want the very same. This sort of woman isn’t for me, but clearly some people are looking for just this.

Nevertheless, you still want a woman that is driven. If she wants to stay at home, cook, clean, and take care of the children, then make sure she’s the kind of woman that wants to be the best stay-at-home mom she could possibly be. Without drive, there is no purpose.

12. She means the world to you.

Sometimes we love a person beyond imagination and we aren’t sure why. To be truthful, you don’t really need a reason. If you love her and can’t imagine your life without her, then don’t allow yourself to lose her.

If she means that much to you, then understand that she means that much to you. Too often people don’t realize what the other person means to them until they lose them. We always think that there will be another chance, that it’s possible that the two of you will one day reconnect.

Maybe. But the opposite is also true. You may have lost her forever. You may suffer for years and years because you let go of the most important thing in your life. Don’t take the risk.

Curated by Karinna

Original Article

7 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Sexy

March 23, 2015January 22, 2024 by Michael Warshauerin Sex, SEX TIPS

We’ll say it: After you’ve been with your S.O. for a fair amount of time, the glow wears off just a bit. You no longer feel like jumping him wherever there’s a flat surface and your sex life isn’t always super-steamy.

If you’re not careful, the word “monogamy” will eventually become synonymous with “ho-hum.” But, that doesn’t have to happen! There are totally ways to keep the fire o’ love burning for a very long while. The fine people at Men’s Health and Women’s Health have a few fabulous tips to make lust last in their “Big Book of Sex.” Here, we let you in on some of our favorites.

1. Rent a chick flick. Fun fact: Movies that are heavy on the romance raise levels of oxytocin, otherwise known as “the snuggle hormone.” A good rom-com will set the mood for a cozy, love-filled evening. Oh, and research from Kansas University shows that men love a good, sappy film, as well—not just the ladies. So, by all means, pop in “The Notebook!”

2. Don’t just say, “I love you.” It’s important to verbalize your feelings in other ways, too. A quick “Love you” as he’s headed out the door, or even before you hang up the phone, makes the phrase become a bit insignificant. Instead, show him your affection by using other words. Terms of endearment like “Honey” or “Sweetie” have the same connotation of affection. Also, let him know how much his gestures mean to you: “Thanks so much for filling up my gas tank yesterday. I really appreciated it.”

3. Change locations for making love. Mix it up. There is no designated area for getting it on, so why restrict yourself to the bedroom? Use the mirrors while getting hot and heavy in the bathroom, or even have a little outdoor sex—a whopping four out of five people surveyed said they’ve always wanted to try it. Um, what are y’all waiting for?

4. Make out. Keep it simple and sweet, like you did when you were but a young teen. Restrict yourselves to 10 minutes of kissing only—with clothes on. Then, feel free to act more adult-like after you’ve set the mood. A hot make-out session will lead to even hotter sex.

5. Schedule sex. We’ve all been trained that you have to “be in the mood” to turn up the heat. That’s actually not true. Fooling around will get you in the mood, so feel free to set aside a place in your schedule just for you and your man. Everyone is busy, so it’s essential to create time for your sex life. It will keep you both happy and fulfilled.

6. Be open about your desires. A committed relationship is the one place you should be able to share your deepest secrets without fear of judgment or embarrassment. Have open conversations with your guy about any hot fantasies, let him do the same, then work together on making them happen. That way, you’ll both be satisfied between the sheets.

7. Have maintenance sex. It may sound less than appealing to get busy after a long day at work while the TV screams in the background, but frequent, run-of-the-mill sex is still that—sex. And it’s an important element for keeping the love alive. As Dr. Gina Ogden said: “This is the kind of sex that connects you and reaffirms your bond as a couple.” And that’s what you have to do, every day, to remain in love and in lust.

Curated by Erbe

Original Article

9 Signs You’re In Love With A Narcissist

April 1, 2015January 22, 2024 by Michael Warshauerin LOVE

Narcissists are appealing for good reason: they’re charming, compelling and don’t hold back on the compliments. By the time you realize just how toxic a narcissist can be, you’ve likely already been duped into developing feelings for him or her.

Of course, not everyone you date who’s vaguely self-absorbed has full-blown narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). It’s important to note that narcissism exists on a spectrum, said Dr. Craig Malkin, an instructor of psychology at Harvard University and the author of Rethinking Narcissism: The Bad — and Surprising Good — About Feeling Special.

“Not all narcissists have NPD,” Malkin told The Huffington Post. “‘Narcissist’ is just a label that indicates someone scores well above average on narcissism measures. They’re high in traits, but may or may not have the disorder.”

Below, Malkin and three other experts shed light on the telltale signs you’re in a relationship with a narcissist.

1. In the beginning, they love bomb you.
Narcissists are very, very good at turning on the charm when they first meet you. As far as they’re concerned, you’ve got the looks of a young Elizabeth Taylor and the wit of a thousand Tina Feys. But don’t get used to those compliments or the pricey dinners they treat you to — it’s not likely to last, said licensed marriage and family therapist Virginia Gilbert.

“That behavior is called love bombing but with a narcissist, the smothering, razzle-dazzle display has nothing to do with you,” she said. “You merely supply whatever the narcissist wants at the time (sex, money, status, youth),” she said. “Once he or she has you, the ‘love’ you feel will morph into control and denigration.”

2. Grand, sweeping gestures are their strong suit.

Narcissists want to be remembered. If there’s a chance to one-up someone’s good story and impress others in the group, they’ll take it. If there’s a group dinner tab, they’re more than happy to pick it up. They live for those moments that bolster their own grandiose self image, said Tina Swithin, the author of Divorcing a Narcissist: One Mom’s Battle. But you need to stay wary of their motives.

“As a narcissist is paying the tab, she is scanning the group and taking notes on how she can use the experience or group members to maintain her inflated self-image or elevate her status,” Swithin said.” There is always an ulterior motive when it comes to a narcissist.”

3. They can’t admit when they’re wrong.
There’s a right way and a wrong way to do things: Naturally, the right way is always the narcissist’s way and the wrong way — just by default — is yours, Gilbert said. And if you try to follow through on orders the narcissist barks, you’ll still be doing it wrong.

“The narcissist will publicly lambaste you or anyone who dares do something not precisely to his or her liking,” Gilbert said. “The way they see it, you didn’t just make a mistake: you committed an atrocity and are accused of being stupid or incompetent.”

If they put you in the position of defending yourself, don’t even attempt to explain. “You will never get a narcissist to see your point-of-view or admit he was wrong,” Gilbert said.

4. They’re envious of your relationship with others.
Initially, narcissists may tell you they admire the close knit-relationships you have with family and friends. But criticism of those same people soon follows, said clinical psychologist Margaret Rutherford.

“Again, it’s all about control,” Rutherford said, adding that the motivation is usually twofold: “He or she may be envious of your relationships with others or want you more to themselves. And just by their very nature, the narcissist is demanding. They want to feel in control of you. This is just another way of doing that.”

5. The narcissist lives for the “likes.”

New research suggests that people who constantly update their Facebook status are more likely to exhibit narcissistic traits. If you’re currently coupled up with a narcissist, be prepared to have your Facebook newsfeed flooded with humble-brag statuses and photo posts.

“The most outgoing narcissists adore the spotlight,” Dr. Craig Malkin explained. “Image churning on Facebook draws attention to people. The flood of likes and comments gives everyone a rush of affirmation but narcissists tend to become hooked. That’s probably why people who frequently update tend to be more narcissistic than those of us content to choose one selfie and stick with it.”

6. Their brand of empathy is self-motivated.
Contrary to popular belief, most people on the narcissistic spectrum don’t have a complete lack of empathy for others. It’s just that they’re far too concerned with their own preoccupations, needs and fears to show it, Malkin said. When they do express it, there’s usually some ulterior motivate for doing so.

“If they’re motivated, say by the need to get you into bed with them, they can be amazing listeners and their caring is genuine,” the psychologist explained. “But it may only come to them when there’s a payoff. If their empathy seems to come and go depending on what’s in it for them, beware.”

7. Conversations are one-sided.

Good luck getting a word in edgewise while having a conversation with a narcissist. Dominating the conversation — even when the topic relates entirely to you — is a hallmark trait of the narcissist. They may feign interest in your college basketball picks, but deep down, they can’t wait to to hijack the conversation and offer up their superior opinion.

“Their interest is always short-lived,” said Swithin. “ Over time, you will notice that every topic is skillfully turned into an opportunity for the narcissist to brag or boast about their favorite topic: the narcissist! A simple conversation about your new car will likely turn into an opportunity for him to talk about the rare sports car that he is importing from Germany.”

8. They’re really, really ridiculously good looking.
Face it: the narcissist’s style and good looks may have been one of the first things that drew you in. But the need to look good is not a healthy vanity with the narcissist; it’s just another way to gain the adoration that they run on, Malkin said.

“Sorry to say, but if your partner wears sexy outfits or always dresses to nines, odds are they’re more narcissistic than most of us — or worse,” he said. “Manipulative, coldly calculating narcissists aren’t better looking from birth, but they’re really good at looking sharp — something called ‘effective adornment.'”

9. Your needs and requests don’t matter.
If you’re in love with someone who’s narcissistic, your needs will always come second. They’re too busy assessing what they need from you to see you as a whole, separate person with your own needs and desires, Gilbert said.

“Everything is an extension of the narcissist,” said explained. “Expressing those needs feels like a threat to the narcissist, who will likely make you feel that your requests are outlandish, while she demands to have everything her way. If you feel like you’re starving or gasping for air just to be heard, chances are you’re involved with a narcissist.”

Curated by Timothy

Original Article

10 Lessons About Marriage You Can Learn From Divorce

April 2, 2015January 22, 2024 by Michael Warshauerin RELATIONSHIPS

Unfortunately, I know a thing or two about divorce. My parents divorced when I was in my twenties, and my first marriage ended in divorce after 13 years. Even my closest friends all have parents who are divorced.

So when my marriage ended, I thought that having a successful marriage wasn’t in the cards for me. But as luck would have it, I ended up meeting and marrying a man who is not just an amazing person, but a top-notch husband. My second marriage has been my version of Happily Ever After.

What I’ve learned from my experiences of divorce and remarriage, and from observing other couples, is that every couple has the ability to have a successful marriage. Marital success has nothing to do with education, economics or social status. In fact, if ever there was an even playing field, it is in this area.

Having a successful marriage is all about the choices we make every minute of every day. Marriages fail when spouses make poor choices as to how they are going to treat each other. It isn’t more complicated than that. So here are some of my insights about marriage (some learned the hard way) and how you can make good choices and have your own happily ever after…

Lesson #1: Remember that it isn’t your job to make your spouse happy. Your job is to help create an environment in which your spouse can be happy. That means get your act together and be a dependable partner. That means don’t create unnecessary stress or conflict in your marriage. That means genuinely love and encourage your spouse. After that, whether or not they are happy is up to them.

Lesson #2: It helps immensely if you and your spouse have a spiritual practice. Your choice of religion doesn’t really matter. Simply following any spiritual teaching that reinforces the importance of love, compassion and forgiveness, will inspire both of you to treat each other far better than you would otherwise.

Lesson #3: If you are married, that fact should be part of your public persona. Wear your wedding ring. Talk about your spouse in glowing terms to your colleagues and friends. Being married should be part of who you are.

Lesson #4: You can always find someone smarter, more attractive or more successful than your spouse. Remember: your spouse can do the same. “Affair proof” your marriage by telling your spouse regularly how highly you think of them. A daily dose of positive reinforcement goes a long way.

Lesson #5: Frequent physical intimacy is necessary for a happy marriage. Don’t make it complicated. You don’t need outfits, pornography, role playing, threesomes, spouse swapping, BDSM or anything else. You only need to give your spouse your undivided attention, caring and acceptance. It requires nothing more and nothing less.

Lesson #6: If your daily communications with your spouse are limited to the Costco list and your children’s soccer practice schedules, then you both are going to be looking elsewhere for a romantic charge. Flirt with your spouse, not your co-workers or the Starbucks barista.

Lesson #7: Dating does not end on your wedding day. When you go out with your spouse, act like it is your first date. Put on a great outfit, hold hands and make interesting conversation. Don’t save your best self for others. Give your best self to your spouse.

Lesson #8: If you are married, you have an obligation to take care of your appearance. You are the person who is most closely associated with your spouse, and you shouldn’t be an embarrassment to them. You don’t have to look like Kate Upton or Will Smith. You just have to look your best.

Lesson #9: There is no glory in remaining in a bad marriage. No one is going to give you a gold sticker or saint you. Worse yet, your kids ultimately may not thank you for it. So choose how and with whom you spend your time on this earth wisely.

Lesson #10: People stay in marriages for many reasons. For their children. For money. For convenience. For ambition, political or otherwise. But you will find no greater joy than being married solely for love.

Over the years, I’ve learned that marriage is not for the faint of heart. It requires a level of maturity and selflessness that most people don’t possess when they first say, “I do.” However, if you are patient and work hard at it, the rewards of a happy marriage are immeasurable.

Curated By Timothy

Original Article

Lubing Up Your Relationship: 5 Steps For Better Communication

April 6, 2015January 22, 2024 by Frankie Symmsin RELATIONSHIPS, Sex

We’ve all been there–unexpected friction, dryness, and chafing, preventing us and our significant other from reaching completion. We can try to push through, hoping that mere effort will win the day. We can give up, hoping that the same problem won’t plague us on our next attempt. Or we can take action by applying a restorative balm and rescuing ourselves from discomfort and failure.

While the above could certainly refer to the physical act of lovemaking, it also applies to the less salacious aspects of a relationship as well. Communication is the non-sexual lubricant that every romantic partnership needs to flourish.

Naturally, not all communication is created equal. Just like sticky drugstore lube is no match for a designer water-based brand, some communication will set your relationship back rather than helping you and your partner to grow and flourish together.

Here are some tips to keep your communication–and your relationship–silky smooth.

Keep Communication Smooth

In our hyper-connected world, sometimes it can be tough to make sure you’re making time for high-quality, in-person communication with your partner. If your communication has dwindled to a few pleasantries over breakfast, an occasional flurry of daytime texts, and a couple of exhausted attempts to chat before bed, it may be time to reconsider your approach. Set aside a special “date night” every week and pledge not to look at your phone—you’ll be surprised how much you still have to talk about! Alternatively, set up a short weekly “check-in” with your partner to make sure you’re communicating about household issues, personal growth and work goals, and see how that impacts the amount of communication you have with each other throughout the day. If time is an issue, look for activities you can do together to maximize your opportunity to chat—exercise, cook a meal, take a class.

Honesty Lubrication

Whether you’re discussing pop culture, division of household duties, or finances, it’s always a good idea to be truthful. This establishes a baseline of trust and accountability between partners, and in addition, eliminates potential sources for conflict before they arise. If you and your other half have different communication styles, acknowledge this openly, and figure out ways you can both feel heard, but still comfortable.

Glide into kindness

When you and your partner first started dating, it’s likely that you both let compliments fly fast and furious. However, it’s easy to forget how good it feels to give and receive compliments once the initial rush of a new relationship has worn off and both partners get caught up in the grind of daily life. A simple “hey, handsome” or comment about an attractive outfit can go a long way to injecting some fun back into the relationship, and praise for a job well-done, whether it’s mopping the floor or closing a deal at work, is always a boost.

Keep Language Smooth

What you may think of as a playful joke may come across to your partner as a thoughtless comment or worse, a harsh criticism. Keep an eye out for unexpected reactions and be proactive in asking whether or not you’ve said something to upset your partner. This is a two way street—if you’re on the receiving end of not-so-nice behavior, make sure your partner knows how you feel so you can work toward interactions that make everyone happy.

Soothing the Rough Edges

All couples experience disagreements, arguments, and fights, but the couples who stay together approach these difficult times as opportunities for growth rather than a death knell for the relationship. If emotions are running high, don’t be afraid to ask for a temporary “cease fire” so everyone can calm down and think more rationally about how to solve the problem. Find ways to balance negative feedback with positive and enter into any discussion willing to accept constructive criticism as well as dishing it out. If you can’t get on the same page as your partner on an important issue, consider seeking counseling—sometimes a neutral, third party can ease the way to a resolution.

When in doubt, just remind yourself: the couple that talks together stays together!

10 Ways to Get More Intimate With Your Partner

April 7, 2015January 22, 2024 by Michael Warshauerin SEX TIPS

Honesty and communication make up the foundation for a healthy relationship. But, what exactly does it take to achieve these things? According to certified Sexologist Jaiya Hanauer, there are 10 important ways to build intimacy and make a deeper connection with your partner.

1. MAKING EYE CONTACT

The eyes are the doorways to a connected sex life. Although it may feel a little funny at first, making eye contact during sex tells your partner that all your attention is on him. It builds trust, which ultimately leads to a stronger sexual and emotional bond.

2. TOUCHING

Touching each other throughout the day builds longing for each other. Massaging, stroking, and caressing all produces oxytocin, which is the bonding chemical. To build a deeper connection, try touching each other without having sex. Build up the tension for a few days to make your next intimate an explosive encounter.

3. BREATHING

We do it automatically everyday but most of us don’t realize that breathing is a way to heighten pleasure and arousal. When you breathe deeper, you bring more oxygen into the body, which allows you to be aroused at greater heights. Alternating your breath as you breathe into each other’s mouths is an intimate exercise that has been used in ancient traditions as a way to share the soul.

4. EXPLICIT TALK

The simple act of sending a sweet text message or complimenting your lover can send blood rushing into the genitals. Not only does it build anticipation, but will also keep your partner thinking about you all day.

5. SETTING THE SCENE

Nothing breaks the mood like cell phones blaring and clutter all over your bedroom. Set the scene for intimacy with sensual music, candles, clean sheets and a shift in environment. Don’t limit intimacy to the bedroom only, you can also create a stage for an encore performance in the living room or kitchen. Think of sex as a theatrical piece—you need the right lighting, right mood and sets. Stimulating your creativity as you prepare actually stimulates the sexual drive.

6. DOING SOMETHING EXTRAORDINARY

Taking the time out to do things for your lover that shows that you care and respect his feelings is very important. Plan to go to his favorite restaurant, run a simple errand for him or cook him an exquisite meal. Doing something for him out of the blue will surely increase the love he has for you.

7. TRYING SOMETHING NEW

Many couples get into patterns when it comes to sex. To break free of the bedroom doldrums, do something adventurous. Take a class together at a sex boutique, go skydiving or do something else that you have never done in bed before, but have always wanted to try.

8. SENSUAL FEATS

Creating a romantic dinner together with specific foods can actually form deeper bonds. Chocolate, for example, contains the chemical Phenethylamine (PEA) which is responsible for the feeling of being in love. Avocados boost both the male and female libido.

9. ROLE PLAYING

Using your imagination always gives a great boost to your sex life. If you consciously take on a fantasy role in the bedroom, the level of intimacy is heightened when you come back to your more traditional roles in the relationship. Try role-playing as an erotic masseuse and client or as a captor and captive.

10. ALLOWING YOURSELF TO BE VULNERABLE

In today’s world, women are becoming stronger than ever and it takes a lot to let down our guards, especially if we’ve been hurt before. But, letting the walls around you melt and allowing your partner to penetrate you emotionally and physically are some of the best things you can do in a relationship. Share your deepest feelings with him and allow him to get to know all the different facets of your personality.

Curated by Erbe

Original Article

Reasons to Have More Sex

April 9, 2015January 22, 2024 by Michael Warshauerin Sex

Ok, you don’t really need reasons, but we’ve got a few anyway! Sex isn’t just pleasurable, there are numerous physical and mental health benefits that come with it. So what are you waiting for? Follow these instructions and get busy!

9 Wordless Ways Someone Says, “I Love You”

April 13, 2015January 22, 2024 by zfortadminin LOVE

Longing to hear, “I love you” from someone special? Try watching his or her body language instead. Some 60 to 90 percent of the meaning of our communication is delivered nonverbally — and in romantic situations, this jumps to 99 percent, says anthropologist David Givens, director of the Center for Nonverbal Studies in Spokane, Washington, and author of Love Signals.

“When it comes to emotions, our bodies do the talking more than words,” Givens says.

Here are nine surprising (and wordless) ways the body telegraphs, “I love you.”

Love sign #1: Shoulder rolls or shrugs

Who knew the shoulders were one of the more expressive parts of the body? Thanks to their rounded shape, smooth skin, and ability to move — shrugging, lifting, rolling — the shoulders are able to convey emotional nuances remarkably well, Givens says. Rolling a shoulder, in particular, reads as a gesture of affection or flirtatiousness.

Unlike some other large muscles, the upper trapezius has special “gut reactive” visceral nerves that are sensitive to your emotions. (Think about how your shoulders sag in defeat and shake when you cry.) The biceps, as a contrasting example, rely on somatic nerves, which help those muscles do intentional tasks, like lift weights. “The biceps aren’t very emotionally expressive,” Givens notes.

(Ladies, try a sleeveless top on that big date to help your shoulders do the talking.)

Love sign #2: Mirroring your actions

You splay your right fingers around your coffee cup; so does he. You take a sip; he takes a sip. Anthropologists call this synchrony of actions “isopraxism” (iso being Greek for “same” andpraxism meaning “behavior”). Couples tend to do this unconsciously as they fall in love; their bodies can’t help themselves.

Mirroring behaviors are a strong element in the courtship rituals of all animals that use courtship, Givens says. A female mallard hen, for example, swims close to her male target and bobs her heads in the water until he copies her, and they do this back and forth until they mate. The behavior demonstrates that neither is threatening to the other, allowing them to get closer.

“The more alike you are, the more you like each other,” Givens says. “It strengthens your bond.”

Love sign #3: Locked eyes

If an object of attraction gazes deep into your eyes, your heart just may skip a beat. Eye contact is a potent emotional link — in ordinary circumstances, both parties feel a strong urge to break a gaze after three seconds. (People make less eye contact when they dislike each other, feel intimidated, or disagree.)

But if you like someone, you tend to hold the gaze for an extra few beats without even being aware of it. This says, “I’m really, really interested in you.”

Like most of the nonverbal communications that express love to other adults, the tendency to gaze long and hard at a beloved is rooted in the caring ways that parents treat children, Givens says. Mothers tend to gaze longer at babies than adults because they’re so interested in them and need to be attentive to them; in this way we grow up associating a long gaze with love.

Love sign #4: Sitting close by

Does your loved one move in close to you — maybe your hips touch when you sit side by side, or your knees knock into his or hers when you sit across from each other?

“Reducing the distance between you and the other person is a strong way our bodies send a message of love,” says Jamie Comstock, a professor of communication at Butler University in Indianapolis.

Someone in love almost can’t help the urge to be physically near his or her object of affection. When you’re drawn to someone, it’s almost literal: Often the body knows the attraction before any words of love have been exchanged, Comstock says.

Love sign #5: Head tilts

When you’re talking, watch your listener. Does he or she cock his or her head, either to the left or right? In a friendship, a tilted head fosters rapport. In courtship, it reads as flirtatiousness.

Leaning the head toward the shoulder connotes harmlessness and submissiveness, the Center for Nonverbal Studies’ David Givens says, which makes the relationship “softer.” As with the shoulder muscles, the muscles involved in tilting the head are controlled by visceral nerves, which are equipped to reflect emotion. A tilted head is a gesture that adds warmth and immediacy to the dialogue between you. Subtle? Yes. But like many aspects of body language, these cues speak volumes about the relationship.

Love sign #6: A fingertip caress

Being lightly, casually touched — on your shoulder, your forearm, the back of your neck, a little side hug — instantly registers in the brain as warmth and reassurance.

The emotional centers of the brain register touch more quickly than messages that come through the language center, Givens says. The touch doesn’t have to be long to register as warm and reassuring. (This kind of touch is different from having breasts or genitals touched in a nonsexual situation, which sends a confusing message rather than a simple “I love you.”)

“The presence of touch is a sign of affection because it sends a message of inclusion: I want to be closer to you,” says Butler University’s Jamie Comstock. “You can say, ‘I love you’ 30 times a day, but if you only touch the person minimally — rarely hug, kiss, or show appropriate physical affection — that ‘I love you’ will ring pretty hollow to him or her,” she says.

Best of all, touching is a shared message: “The fingertips are extremely sensitive to touch, so you get a good message right back,” Givens says.

Love sign #7: Rapid eye blinking

Is she batting her eyelashes at you? Does he look especially vulnerable and cute — because he’s blinking? The normal rate of eye blinking in humans is 20 times a minute. Faster blinking indicates emotional stress — such as when the person is attracted.

“We blink faster when excited because eyelid movements reflect bodily arousal levels established by the brain stem’s reticular activating system (RAS),” Givens says. The result: a chain reaction. Emotions from the limbic system stimulate the RAS to act on the brain to release the chemical dopamine in a part of the midbrain connected to the eyes.

A warning about reading the right message into this signal, though: A faster blink rate is also triggered when the speaker is lying.

Love sign #8: A warm smile

Smiles warm our hearts — but not any old smile is a sign of affection. What to look for: a genuine smile (called a “zygomatic smile”), the kind that can’t easily be faked because it’s produced not on demand but by pure emotion. In heartfelt smiles, the zygomaticus muscles are strongly contracted, so that corners of the mouth curve upward and the outer corners of the eyes wrinkle into crow’s feet. Pay attention to the eyes: In a genuine smile, they tend to be crinkled more tightly.

The face is more expressive than any other part of the body because all facial muscles are controlled by visceral nerves, which are connected to emotions. Some people say they can see their dog or cat smile, but these animals have little facial flexibility compared with our evolutionary kin the primates, who developed this ability in order to communicate. Reptiles, in comparison, can’t move their features at all, save to open their mouths.

Love sign #9: A higher-pitched and softer voice than usual

Notice how a parent talks to a child: The voice takes on a slightly higher, warmer tone — not loud, no edge to it. This same love-infused relationship is the model for the tone that people in love use. It’s a softer pitch than usual. “It’s innately friendly,” Given says, “and suggests a nonaggressive, nonhostile pose.”

That doesn’t mean that if your crush isn’t speaking to you in baby talk or falsetto, he or she doesn’t love you. The tone of a voice in love isn’t that exaggerated. It’s simply more loving.

The tone of voice is so important — and so revealing — because we “hear” the way words are delivered separately from how we process the words themselves. Tone of voice carries both emotion (love, hate, anger) and social information (sarcasm, superiority).

In fact, humans are so good at reading voices that you should probably trust what you hear in the tone more than the words themselves — especially when that “I love you” rolls off the tongue of the object of your affection. Comstock says, “When there’s a discrepancy between the words and the tone” — whether it’s detached, monotonal, defensive, sarcastic — “people believe the nonverbal.”

Curated by Erbe

Original Article

Relationship Bliss in 10

April 21, 2015January 22, 2024 by zfortadminin RELATIONSHIPS

1. They go to bed at the same time.
Remember when you first started dating and you couldn’t wait to cuddle and sleep next to each other? Well, don’t forget that! Going to sleep at the same time is a necessity. When you go to bed together, you’re promoting healthy relationship patterns.

2. They find common interests.
It’s important to really enjoy spending time together. He doesn’t need to share your love of reality TV, and you obviously don’t need to understand his adoration for ESPN, but you should have activities that the two of you look forward to doing as a couple. Whether it’s picking a new recipe to try every weekend, going for a run, or simply watching The Blacklist, find something fun to do consistently together.

3. They touch.
Small gestures like holding hands or putting your arm around each other increases closeness, which is always a factor in the lives of happy couples. When you hold hands, you’re subconsciously reminding yourself that you care about each other.

4. They don’t pointlessly nag.
Happy couples emphasize the positive things that their partner does. This means that if something is bothering you, you have a real conversation about it. Nitpicking, nagging, or criticizing are not the way to someone’s heart.

5. They embrace affection, continuing to kiss each other hello and say “I love you.”
Before you leave for work in the morning, give your partner a really great goodbye kiss and say I love you. When you come home from a long day, do it again. Your morning and evening greeting should be something that you look forward to. Once you start kissing and sharing your feelings often, you’ll appreciate each other more. People forget that the small things make a difference. When you begin your day with a loving gesture, you’re starting on a great note.

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4 Keys to Sexual Mastery

April 22, 2015January 22, 2024 by zfortadminin Sex

How much sex will make you a master?

It can be a long, hard, slow, exquisite road to sexual mastery. One that, according to Malcolm Gladwell’s ideas on developing expertise in anything, takes 10,000 hours to travel.

If you are adhering to my weekly sex date rule, and Dr. Oz’s 200 orgasms a year prescription—even better if they are 4-hour orgasms—and you throw in a monthly sex weekend, you will be well on your way.

Self-pleasuring counts. As does reading, discussion, fantasy-sharing, phone sex, webcam adventures and the like.

Even still, you may need to up your commitment to sexual mastery. Given that the study is such a rewarding one, leading to genius, immortality, radiant health and spiritual ascension, it is time very well spent.

Here are some suggestions to hone your talents and release what lies within:

1) Study.

Their lips. Their eyes. Their breath. The shape, texture, taste and scent of every inch of them.

“I never knew I wanted to be a geographer until I saw your body.” ~ Autumn Sonnichshen

As you pause and linger over every nuance of your lover, you truly see them. That level of nakedness and vulnerability is the key to the hottest and most life-changing sex possible.

When you focus your attention so that you are present to every energetic fluctuation in between you, you slow down time. Your lovemaking becomes an intuitive dance rather than a pre-choreographed strategy.

2) Absorb their wisdom.

Yes. Every ounce of it.

Sexual fluids are potent elixirs. They are infused with your concentrated yin and yang essences. Ingesting them has a profoundly balancing and nourishing effect.

Ancient cultures collected male and female ejaculate to imbibe after an encounter: a power drink, if you will. Ditch the Red Bull and save a ton of money on those superfoods you love so much: you can harvest your own! Bottoms up, kids.

The act of devouring all aspects of your lover: literally drinking them in, is healing and bonds you more deeply.

3) Mentor under someone you admire.

The quality of admiration is overlooked in relationship. If I look back at the people I have been with, the degree to which I admired them—truly respected who they were and their contributions to the world—is the degree to which I have utterly succumbed.

Use admiration as your barometer for desire.

When you are with such a person, mentor under, on top of, on your knees and prostate with them.

I could go on and on: the possibilities are truly endless. It’s up to you to discover them.

4) Getting in The Zone.

You’ve probably had the experience of getting into “The Zone” in some part of your life. It’s that area where everything flows naturally, often found in sports, physical activity (like yoga!) or a creative act. We tap into a space where we are uncensored, natural and preternaturally gifted, even genius, at what we are engaged with.

Aim for this in your sex life: both in your emotional connection with your partner and physically.

Keep going until you get there. If you approach every conversation and sexual act as an experience that can bring you transcendence, then you will breakthrough to the other side into “The Zone.” It is here that what you’ve created takes on a life of its own.

Think of it like going running when you haven’t been out in a while. The first fifteen minutes can be grueling and feel like every lift of your leg is work. After a while, the run begins to carry you. (That, and the endorphins—much like sex).

It can be like this with sticky conversations that need to be had. At first, it feels awkward and clunky. Then you get some momentum going and you slide into a beautiful, intimate, raw space with each other. This is the golden zone.

It happens in physical sex too—you may take 15 or 30 minutes to truly find your rhythm with each other, but when you do, aim to stay there as long as possible.

This is where you learn from the act: it becomes your teacher. You begin to channel a flow and internal wisdom (your body knows) that comes from the deepest parts of you.

The best lovers aren’t made through a series of books and classes (though they don’t hurt). They are grown through the deepening of awareness, fearlessness and the ability to stay present in each moment.

Uncover. Get naked. Explore. Follow the flow.

And those 10,000 hours will pass by in the blink of an eye.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

11 Struggles Of Being A Highly Sexual Woman

April 28, 2015January 22, 2024 by zfortadminin Sex

We believe you should be true and happy with your own desires!

When you’re a woman who absolutely loves sex, you’re a minority among your female counterparts. You’re a bit like a unicorn, a woman whom men have heard of but have never seen.

To many, you are a myth. In fact, women being sexual creatures in any sense are a myth to most.

The thing is, we definitely are sexual beings despite the conflicting rhetoric society likes to project. We all love a great sexual encounter of the sweaty, steamy variety.

Yet, just like most things, some of us are much more sexual than others.

A highly sexual woman is just like any other woman. We’ve embraced our sexuality, and we own it. We want sex just as much, if not more than men do.

We’re lustful and fantasize just as much as the male population. We refuse to find shame in our desires, no matter who tries to ostracize us.

We’re sexually insatiable, and while the guys we date may think that’s just fantastic, it ends up being more of a struggle.

Suddenly, you’re the one trying to jump your boyfriend at every turn. Suddenly, you’re the one coming on to HIM all the time.

Not to mention, the good people of society would delightedly go on a witch hunt if they knew about your less-than-kosher sexual desires.

We’re told to embrace our sexuality by liberal media and yet, told to hide it by everyone else. What’s with this double standard?

Why should a guy get to romp around from bed to bed and face no social consequences, and a girl can’t even have a little fun? What is a gal to do?

These are 11 struggles every highly sexual woman faces on a regular basis:

1. When your boyfriend turns you down for sex, it hurts that much more

You’ve always been told a woman is the one who is pursued for intercourse in a relationship. This has never been the case for you.

You often find your boyfriend just cannot physically keep up with you. If you had your way, you’d be getting it on three times a day.

All of this “three times a week is the average” bullsh*t makes no sense to you. Therefore, when your boyfriend tells you he doesn’t want sex, you can’t help but feel really hurt and offended.

Why would a guy not want to have sex with you? It makes you feel like you’re not sexy, especially in such a vulnerable position

2. You have more vibrators than Babeland

Your vibrators come in all shapes and sizes, colors and intensity levels. You know how each of them works in its own special way, and you love each individually.

None of your friends understand why you could possibly need such an extensive collection, but you know better.

They all have a specific, different purpose. You’re looking for more than just your average stimulation and a halfhearted orgasm.

On top of all of this complicated tomfoolery, you constantly run out of AA batteries and end up spending more money to replace them than you do on shoes.

3. Society will judge and shame you

You deal with the stigma of being called a slut and a whore on the regular. You feel like the world is breathing down your neck, constantly attempting to stamp a scarlet A on your chest.

You’re in a constant battle between wanting to be proud of your sexual fearlessness and the labels society has historically tarnished sexual women with.

4. Men really don’t know what to make of you

They don’t know whether they’ve hit the ultimate jackpot or gotten in way over their heads. You’re always down for the freaky stuff, which is awesome, but your sexual insatiability can be intimidating.

You don’t care enough to worry if you’re emasculating a man with your high drive.

He can just get over it or get out. Guys want sex, but once they meet you, it’s a head-trip. You’re putting out constantly. What does he have to complain about?

5. People will call you a sex addict

Both your friends and your boyfriends have referred to you as a “sex addict.” You inform them that a sex addict is someone who goes out and f*cks everything he or she sees, often unsafely.

You are simply a woman who loves to have sex. That doesn’t make you an addict. It makes you a human being.

6. All of your friends come to you for sex advice

This is one of the nicest parts about being so sexual. Your friends feel like they can live vicariously through your many sexual endeavors.

They also trust you enough to come to you with all of their questions about sex. You always have the answers because there are very few things you haven’t given a try.

Anything the girls need to know, they know you’re the person to see.

7. You make everything a sexual innuendo

You sexuality spills into every facet of your life, especially your humor. You can’t help but make every joke sexual. Everything from pencils, cucumbers and forearms can be metaphors for dicks.

You manage to make even the most innocent of exchanges dirty. But hey, you don’t have a dirty mind — just a sexy imagination.

8. You can separate sex and love

Unlike most of your female counterparts, you have no problem taking your emotions out of the act of sex. You can have sex just like a man.

To you, sex is a fun, pleasurable activity. It doesn’t need to be fraught with feelings. You’re a busy woman who doesn’t have time to deal with drama. You just want to get off and get back to your lengthy to-do list.

9. Pretty much anything is a turn on

Even the most mundane things can be a turn on. Whether it is a cute guy eating an ice cream cone or an expected breeze whipping up your skirt, you find it takes very little to get you hot and bothered.

You often find yourself at home with your boyfriend (either robotic or human) getting it on before dinnertime. When you’re at work or out with friends, you consciously remind yourself to keep your mind off sex.

10. Sex is your therapy

F*ck yoga. Nothing in this world could relax you the way sex does. Sure, you enjoy the catharsis of a bottle of wine and Netflix on occasion, but you’d much rather be indulging in a hump sesh than a romcom.

It also serves as your main source of exercise. Any cardio that comes with an orgasm is all right by you.

11. You stopped counting your number of sexual partners

You’re always safe, but a number is just a number. You’re not ashamed, and you shouldn’t have to be.

As long as you’re careful with your sexual health, you will continue to enjoy yourself and let your freak flag fly.

You go, girl. You go.

Curated by Tatiana
Original Article

10 Things Men Wish Women Knew about Sex and Love

April 29, 2015January 22, 2024 by zfortadminin LOVE, Sex

Get an inside look in to a Guy’s mind.

When the issue on sex and love comes up in relationships, many women think that men know everything there is to know about it.

But most men say women absolutely have no clue about the things they know and don’t know.

Krystle Crossman of Healthy Black Woman lists 10 things men wish women knew and how they feel about certain things in the bedroom.

Men are highly responsive to praise. They are self-conscious and have insecurities just like women about their bodies and about their skills. Compliment your man about what he does well and when he looks good.
Men are afraid of intimacy, but only because it is so taboo for men! Until they reach school age they are very affectionate, but then societal pressure rears its ugly head and they feel that being intimate is something that only girls should be doing. They are also afraid of it because they want intimacy so much.
They really do appreciate sex for what it is. Every now and then try to let him have a little fun and have his way with you. Let yourself be ravished. He will thank you for it.
Men have many different erogenous zones, not just the penis. Touch his chest, or inside of his thighs. Kiss his neck. Explore…don’t just focus on one body part.
They enjoy fantasies but are often afraid that they are going to be judged or scorned for theirs. Try one out with him to show him you have a wild side too.
They enjoy dirty talk. This one should be no surprise!
Honesty is the best policy. They don’t want you to lie and say it was the best you ever had if it wasn’t. They want to know how to make things better so that you are satisfied.
Men enjoy the chase before making it to the bedroom. Let them take you out for a night on the town. Let them be romantic. This will make things more intimate when you finally get down to it.
Them watching pornography does not mean that they are a sex addict. Try discussing it with them seriously to find out what it is about porno that turns them on or off.
Men do tend to want sex all the time, but not for the reason you may think. Being intimate with a partner is a way to connect and escape the pressures of life.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

The 9 Best Times to Have Sex

April 29, 2015January 22, 2024 by zfortadminin Sex

Have better orgasms, make love for longer and more with some smart scheduling

Your Sensual Schedule

Timing is important for, say, landing a dream job or catching a sale. But here’s some intimate info: It’s also crucial when it comes to sex! You’ve probably heard that the ideal time of the month to get pregnant is when you’re ovulating (usually in the middle of your menstrual cycle,between day 11 and 21, depending on the person), but you may not realize that certain times of the day, month and year are best for other sexual goals. For a more satisfying sex life, here’s when to get busy if you…

1. …want an amazing orgasm.

This may sound counterintuitive, but the day you’re most likely to experience a mind-bending orgasm is actually the day before you get your period, according to Laurie Watson, a sex therapist and couples counselor in Raleigh, NC, and author of Wanting Sex Again. “When blood accumulation makes your uterus heavy, contractions are more perceptible during orgasm, and your labial and clitoral tissue tends to be more sensitive when you retain fluids,” says Watson. “Convince yourself to give sex a shot, even if you’re feeling grouchy and uncomfortable, because it may cheer you right up,” she suggests.

2. …want sex to last longer.

The top time is between Christmas and New Year’s Day, when you and your husband are likely out of the office. “When you have no work pressures and are spending many hours with your mate, it’s easier to have luxurious, unhurried sex that lasts and lasts,” says Terence Watts, a psychotherapist based in the U.K. who specializes in psychosexual problems. “A slow build-up is key. Flirt with your husband in the morning by whispering in his ear, and then make lots of eye contact with him during meals.”

3. …want to drive your guy wild.

As you’ve likely noticed, men often wake up with erections, says Amy Levine, a sexologist based in New York City and the founder of IgniteYourPleasure.com. So instead of making him wait all day, set your alarm for 10 minutes earlier on a work day and have a quickie first thing in the morning. You might enjoy it more, too. “As women age, they tend to get more tired at night, so evening sex is less desirable,” says Watson. In other words, you have more energy for a crack-of-dawn romp than a late-night one.

4. …want to relieve pain.

If you can get past the ick factor, making love while you’re on your period can actually reduce uncomfortable cramps, says Levine. “It may be because an orgasm causes uterine contractions, which ease pain, and your body releases the hormone oxytocin and the neurotransmitter dopamine, which make you feel happy and relaxed.” If you can expect sex when Aunt Flo shows, you just may look forward to your time of month!

5. …want to feel confident in bed.

Get it on after you’ve broken a sweat. A study from the University of Florida found that people who exercise without losing fat or gaining strength or endurance feel just as much body confidence as those who get fitter. So even if you don’t look different from your workout, you think you do, according to the research. That improved self-esteemcould make you freer between the sheets. Maybe you’ll even leave the lights on!

6. …want to have crazy, no-holds-barred sex.

Plan an unforgettable evening during a steamy time of year, like July or August in most parts of the country, because you’ll have more opportunities to get it on discreetly outside, like in your yard or on your roof, says Levine. Being outdoors means you’ve already left your comfort zone, so you may be more likely to think outside the box. “Plus, sunshine boosts serotonin in the brain, which improves your mood, so you may enjoy yourself more,” says Tammy Nelson, PhD, a sex and relationship expert in New Haven, CT, and author of Getting the Sex You Want.

7. …are too busy.

Schedule a weekend date night when you don’t have a work commitment and are less exhausted. You don’t even have to leave the house! Put on some mellow music, order in and take a breather together from the hectic week to enjoy each other’s company. Consider asking a friend or relative to take the kids out—the more romantic and relaxed the environment, the more you set the stage for amazing sex. “Focus on quality over quantity,” recommends Watts.

8. …want to get out of a sexual rut.

The longer you’ve been with your partner, the harder it is to be creative in the bedroom. And missionary style every Saturday night can get a little boring. To mix things up, set an alarm for 3 A.M. and straddle your spouse in the middle of the night, recommends Levine. We’re pretty sure he won’t mind being woken up.

9. …want to survive wedding season.

Summertime means party time—especially with weddings. These six-hour affairs are romantic and fun, but also draining. “By the time a wedding’s over, couples come home feeling too full, too drunk or too tired, and those factors can sabotage sex,” says Watson. If your calendar’s chock full of nuptials, it may be tough to get action. Why wait until midnight? Fool around before you leave for the event, and you’ll be glowing on the dance floor all night.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article