The Strange Romances of “Dancing With the Stars”

In the world of television and reality-TV, it is expected that one would find many examples of contestants finding romance or chemistry whilst in the midst of filming.


After all, shows such as “The Bachelor” are created so that people can find love. But what about a show like the very popular hit: “Dancing With the Stars”? As season 24 is set to begin on Monday, I thought it might be fun to take a look at the possibilities for matchmaking that exist in this season’s new cast. This “chemistry between dance partners” thing has happened on multiple occasions throughout the show’s run, so either there is something in the air on that dance floor, or host Tom Bergeron is secretly matching people together behind the scenes with his witty charm.

In past seasons, there was the pairing of pro dancers Emma Slater and Sasha Farber, who announced their engagement on the show live in 2016. Mario Lopez and pro dancer Karina Smirnoff had an immediate attraction during their 2006 pairing on the show. When their romance fizzled just months later, it was rumored that Lopez had been cheating. Very soon after, Smirnoff then ended up dating fellow pro-dancer Maksim Chmerkovsky, and the two got engaged. Then, the two split, just a few months later, calling off their engagement.

Are you confused yet? I am. Actress Shannon Elizabeth fell hard for pro-dance partner Derek Hough, and the two were an item in 2009 for more than a year. And then they weren’t. One of the most obvious attractions I can recall on the show happened between Maksim and Meryl Davis, during season 18. The two never admitted to a romance, but the sparks were hot and heavy from the start, and the judges commented on their sexual tension almost every week. (To be fair, Judge Bruno Tonioli could find sexual tension in a chunk of plywood). And in another twist, that Maksim sure gets around! He was also rumored to be dating dance partner (and winner) Erin Andrews, who later became co-host of the show. NOW are you confused? Because I still am.

Basically, everybody dates everybody, because the Rumba is kind of hot, and when you are rehearsing sexy moves together for ten hours a day over a few month period, things tend to get a little bit touchy-feely. Unless you are Judge Len Goodman. Then you just drink some prune juice and take a nap. Sometimes in the middle of the show.

In any case, will romance be in the cards for any of these pairings? Here is a look forward at the upcoming cast, and some entertaining romances that would be fun, or just plain weird, to see, starting this Monday …..

BONNER BOLTON is the world’s former Number One Bull-Rider, and will be paired up with pro-dancer Sharna Burgess. But how hilarious would it be to see him in a budding romance with off the charts, crazy, always seemingly horny Judge Carrie Ann Anaba? The season hasn’t even begun yet, but I guarantee it will be filled with endless innuendos from Anaba about Bolton “riding it” or “getting on top of that bull”. She really enjoys saying things such as that, and having her own little fantasies about the male contestants while she sits behind that judges table.

CHARO is on the show this season (with pro-dancer Keo Motsepe), and really, this needs no further explanation other to be hilarious, because it’s Charo. She has one name. She is actually listed that way on the cast list. No last name. You may remember her dancing from “The Love Boat”, or from other TV shows she appeared in over the decades. She is a pop culture icon who dances, sings, and is just generally entertaining, and she has GOT to be in her 70’s or older by now. Perhaps her and Judge Len Goodman should pair up, since he is also older, and her charm and sparkly personality could fix up his crankiness and moodiness. Seeing them as a couple would be hilarious.

MR. T is on the show this season, as is former “Saturday Night Live” cast member Chris Kattan. Although they are not paired together as dancers, since neither of them are pros, I would pay a lot of money to see them as the new, power, gay couple of the season. Mr. T could yell at Kattan: “I pity the fool who says no to me!”, and Kattan could do one of his many wacky characters in response.

Olympic ice-skater Nancy Kerrigan is dancing this season, which begs the question, where the hell is Tanya Harding? If Harding was on the show and didn’t win the Mirror Ball Trophy, I would hate to see what kind of action she would take in protest. Not pretty.

Nick Viall just finished his run as “The Bachelor” this week, and he got engaged to Vanessa Grimaldi. Starting Monday, he will be paired up with pro-dancer Peta Mergatroyd, and history has shown from past seasons, that this is NOT the best way to begin your engagement – by spending 10 to 15 hours a day dancing all sweaty-like with another beautiful woman. Let’s see if Nick and Vanessa can survive the jealousy of the Tango or the Salsa, or will Nick succumb to the gorgeous Peta, and leave Vanessa in the dust?

Perhaps Bergeron and Andrews can up their co-host game and start flirting with one another. Or maybe the two male judges can take turns dating Carrie Ann, the female judge. Or perhaps Mr. T and Charo will have a little fling, and then Maksim Chmerkovsky will break them up so he can have Charo all to himself, because apparently he dates every single dancer on the show. The possibilities are endless, and quite humorous. I can’t wait to see what surprising couples emerge out of this upcoming season, and the many ways that love (or lust) spring to life. To see what happens, tune in this Monday, March 20th, on ABC.

DWTS Premiere: “LoveTV” Rates Each Couple’s Chemistry on the “Love Meter”

This Monday, “Dancing With the Stars” premiered, and as per usual, it was a blast.


The show, even after 756 seasons, (I could be exaggerating slightly on that number) is still just as relevant, just as fun, and just as surprising. Host Tom Bergeron still sports his wonderful mix of warm and witty, the judges panel is as fiesty and hilarious as ever with their strange comments, and each season’s new cast seems to beat out the one before it, when it comes to complete randomness. As Bergeron pointed out on his Twitter page (@Tom_Bergeron), “this year’s cast has plenty of charisma, and plenty of cray-cray!” (slang term for crazy, for those of you watching who are from the Len Goodman era.)

Now, while the judges panel is known for judging and critiquing each couple’s dance movement, choreography, performance, and technique – the show seems to be lacking over the years on having someone there to judge each couple based only on their chemistry, or lack thereof. Nobody has ever judged or critiqued the pairs, based not on the dance itself, but on how they interact with one another, their chemistry as a dance couple, and their likability (or obvious distain) for each other.

Until now. This season, for the first time ever, LoveTV will rate each couple’s “love meter score”, using a very specific and scientific formula (I made it up), to determine that couple’s chemistry, in a weekly piece right here. The judges on the show use a simple number system of 1 through 10 when it comes to scoring. The Love Meter score, will be a lot more complex and fun, using different catchphrases and awesome metaphors and things, to determine from week to week where each pair stands when it comes to their chemistry. And it’s not only the dancers! Using this special formula, I will also point out any other noticeable chemistry bonds, including feuds and friendships between judges, hosts, and anyone else that seems interesting that week. Are you ready? Because this is going to be epic!

NORMANI AND VAL:

So, the pop-star from the group “5th Harmony”, and her pro dance partner, opened the show with their Quickstep, which was more like a “medium-fast step.” Bergeron called it a “high octane start” to the season, and I mostly agree. Grumpy Judge Len Goodman said: “It was long-winded. Carrie Ann Inaba said the couple should practice “more partnering”, which I think means that they should go out and maybe join a swingers club. I’m not sure. In any case, their chemistry for me was pleasant, but nothing off the charts. Definitely no love potential there, but a friendship may indeed blossom.

Judges Scores: 7/6/7/7

Love Meter Score: I give them a “WARM AND FUZZY”, like an old raggedy blanket that you just can’t make yourself throw away. Ever.

Dancing With the Stars: This Week’s Love Meter Review and Shocking Elimination!

On this week’s favorite ballroom blitz extravaganza reality show, eight couples remained. For the first time ever, the show did a new theme where pairs danced to iconic Boy Bands and Girl Groups, and former contestant, runner-up to the winner, and Backstreet Boys member Nick Carter, sat in as guest judge. Also this week, was a TEAM DANCE broken up into teams of men vs. the women. As always, the 4 judges on the panel gave their opinions and scores on the dancing and choreography, but we here at LOVE TV will critique what really matters – the couple’s chemistry. Now unless you are a professional like me, please do not try to rate the couples at home. This must only be done in a professional environment, using my special scientific formula (I made it up). Just come here, and read on. Oh, and you’re welcome. Let’s get started with this week’s action:

SIMONE AND SASHA: EGG ON THE FACE

They did the Samba to a Destiny’s Child song. During rehearsal footage, Simone was asked if her partner was sexy, to which she responded, “Hmmm, thats pushing it. Sexy? No. Rashad is sexy!” (and she is right) Their dance got mixed reviews, with mostly high marks, and with Len saying “the timing was suspect, like my bladder.” Okay, maybe I made up that last part. But you can’t prove it. Backstage, Erin Andrews further embarassed Simone by bringing up her sexy crush on him. She giggled like a schoolgirl, which she is, technically.

Judges Scores: 9/8/9/9

Love Meter Score: This week, I’m giving this couple a score of EGG ON THE FACE, because it must have been slightly awkward having to practice with Sasha for 17 thousand more hours, right after saying he isn’t sexy in the slightest.

BONNER AND SHARNA: COOL DOWN

They did the Rumba, to a Backstreet Boys song, with Nick Carter being a former member AND also being Sharna’s former dance partner. So, the pressure was on. The dance was lovely, but i feel like some of their former spark has started to dim a bit, or maybe they are over each other already. There was a definite hot chemistry factor with these two, the first few weeks, and although it’s still there, its getting more lukewarm for some reason. Nick said: “I can’t be more proud of what I just saw.” Bonner claimed in rehearsals, to cameras, that he is the worst dancer on the show. Yeah, but he also has the best naked chest, and is the cutest. So, there’s that.

Judges Scores: 8/8/7/7

Love Meter Score: Giving these two a scientific score of COOL DOWN PERIOD. To be determined as to whether or not their hot status re-appears in the future.

NANCY AND ARTEM: FRIENDS

They danced to the Girl Group EnVogue, and they did the Paso Doble. Nancy was very overly critical of herself during footage, and Artem tried to comfort her while still being the firm and supportive coach. Their dance was quite nice, and you could feel the supportive and caring nature coming from her partner in their movements. Carrie Ann called it “spot on. Well done.” Nick said “My mind is blown. You have blown my mind.” Bruno made a sound that only Bruno can understand. Len napped in his Cream of Wheat.

Judges Scores: 9/8/8/8

Love Meter Score: Giving these two a chemistry reading of FRIENDLY COACH, because I’m guessing that Artem is way sweeter and more friendly than any of the Olympic coaches Kerrigan is used to. They can be tyrants.

NICK AND PETA: SIBLINGS

Their dance was to the Beach Boys classic “Fun Fun Fun”, and it was a Jive. The routine had the feel of a 1950s scene, with the TV appearing black and white as if in an old music video or movie. They were pretty adorable together this week, and she was great with him in rehearsals about helping him let go of his insecurities as a dancer. Len said it was “lacking polish and finesse, like my …. oh, never mind.” Now, I may have misheard him, but I could have sworn that Bruno said the dance was “a bit like a stroke”, which was absolutely hilarious and also extremely wrong. Maybe he said something else, but Nick Carter and Carrie Ann sort of gasped when he said it, so who knows. Nobody ever knows what the hell that guy says, because nobody can understand him. Except Charo. Charo could understand Bruno, because she spoke the same crazy language.

Judges Scores: 7/7/7/7

Love Meter Score: This week, they get a score of BIG SIS AND LITTLE BROTHER vibe, because that’s how it felt.

NORMANI AND VAL: SIZZLE

They did the Salsa, and their theme was that Val was a hot and sexy construction worker, grabbing her off the street for a sexy dance. It was very hot, and the chemistry was great this week. Bruno had the funniest and wackiest, most innuendo comment with: “It melted all my wiring, and blew out all my boxes!” Carrie Ann said that Normani’s body lines were perfection. And if it weren’t for Grumpy Len, their scores would have also been perfection. You can’t really blame him though. They woke him up from his nap.

Judges Scores: 10/10/8/10

Love Meter Score: Hot, hot, and even more hot! Like SIZZLING FAJITAS!!!!

DAVID AND LINDSAY: PAPA DON’T PREACH

They did the Argentine Tango to an N’Sync song. I always love these two. They are so darn cute, and he is the most genuine guy. The way the Chicago Cubs and his former Boston Red Sox teams support him on the show is so cool. Lindsey told him she is his coach, and he responded with “I see it like this. You’re my teammate.” He was a bit stressed out this week due to busy schedule and tension, and she helped him relax. Carrie Ann said “you don’t seem like yourself tonight.” Bruno pointed out that he almost dropped Lindsey while on a lift. David replied with: “I might come off as grumpy when I’m trying to just be serious. Was trying to be sexy for this dance, but Lindsey is like my daughter, so it’s weird.” Love them.

Judges Scores: 7/8/7/7

Love Meter Score: Since Lindsey is like a daughter to him, I’m giving them a PAPA DON’T PREACH score this week.

RASHAD AND EMMA: DRILL SERGEANT

They danced to the Four Tops, and had the Tango. During rehearsals, Emma was working Rashad like crazy, and he noticed when he said to cameras “This girl ain’t playin around. She’s serious.” It paid off, because their connection and hard work showed in the dance. Bruno said creepily: “You wanted to show us what you’ve got, and you’ve got plenty!”

Judges Scores: 9/10/9/9

Love Meter Score: Giving their fierceness and determination DRILL SERGEANT status this week, because Emma wasn’t playin!!!

HEATHER AND MAKS: STUNNER

So, after a few weeks nursing his injury and being replaced by another pro dancer as Heathers partner, Maks was finally back, and their connection was stronger and better than ever. They did the TLC song “Waterfalls”, and they had the Rumba. She was joking with him that she wanted to get the “Disney 10 score” last week and didn’t, and he promised her that she would get the 10 score this week with him. The movements were perfect, and they seemed extremely happy to be back together again. Len said: “Beautiful leg action, knockout dance.” Nick called it his “favorite dance of the night.” It was super sexy and passionate, and she is a kick-ass dancer.

Judges Scores: 10/10/10/10

Love Meter Score: SIMPLY STUNNING!

TEAM BOYBAND: The men and their pro-dance partners did a fun medley that had a bit of “Magic Mike” quality to it, and was super fun. Their chemistry together as guys was a blast. They were like old friends having a great time.

TEAM GIRLGROUP: Fun chemistry, lots of athletic movement, but didn’t seem as flowing as the men’s number.

ELIMINATION:

Well, here comes the shocker. Who went home this week? Not Nick, the bachelor who can only “sort of” dance, on a good day. Not the baseball player, because he is so sweet and funny and not too terrible, and everyone just loves him to pieces. Who went home, was the girl who everyone thought would be in the Finals. The girl who got her PERFECT TEN scores tonight, as promised by Maks. The girl who had to work with a different partner on the fly, because her original one was injured. Yup. Heather went home, and you could tell that she was just as shocked as everyone else. Also, the massive BOOING coming from the audience showed their disdain for the results. Hey, at least she didn’t go home before Mr. T. Or the horror show that was Chris Kattan. Could somebody wake Len up? Who is going to tell him that Heather was eliminated? Bergeron, that will be your job. He likes you best.

Dancing With the Stars FINALE: The Last “Love” Meter Review

Well, kids. It’s been lots of fun writing up these “Love Meter Reviews” for this great dance show, on behalf of LOVETV. But this week, “Dancing With the Stars” came to an end, with an epic, 2-night conclusion including several dances, performances, clips, and the return of the whole crazy cast, back together again. In the end, amongst the 3 remaining couples, a winner was crowned and received the coveted (cheap) Mirror Ball Trophy prize. The 3 couples in the Finals were David and Lindsay, Normani and Val, and Rashad and Emma.

For the season, I have been judging and rating each couple on their chemistry from week to week with one another, using our official and scientific Love Meter sale (I made it up.) This week, however, since it was the finale and it’s special and grand, I have instead rated each couple and their chemistry throughout the season with the judges, and with the audience / fans. But before we break down each of the final three couples, let’s talk a bit about the Finale and the season itself.

This was a fun season, and host Tom Bergeron was his usual witty and wonderful self. (and I’m not just saying that so that his big Hollywood head will love it and he will retweet this review on his Twitter page. Okay, maybe that’s some of why I’m saying it. But it’s also TRUE!) Bergeron is by far, the funniest and most entertaining of all the TV hosts, and his partnering the past few seasons with Erin Andrews as co-host, has been very natural and lovely. Whereas former co-host Brooke Burke Charvey often looked as if she had been dropped off at the TV studio and was unsure why she was there, Andrews seems to fit right in, and her humor and sarcasm are a good match with Bergeron. So I’m giving this pair of co-hosts a PERFECT TEN for chemistry, and cuteness.

The show’s finale was filled with humor and fun as well, and some great dance numbers by the pro dancers and the stars themselves. One of the highlights in the humor department was a video segment about the strong “Bro-mance” between pro dancer Maks Chmirokovsky and “The Bachelor” Nick Viall. It showed them wearing t-shirts exclaiming their love for one another, sipping cocktails together, dancing cheek to cheek, and other hilarious things. On the Love Meter Scale for the season, I give Nick and Maks a score of “LADY GAGA BRO ROMANCE!!!!!

The show was also filled with the return of other cast favorites, such as the frightening Charo, who performed a number playing guitar on a stool. Bergeron hilariously responded when it was over: “I’ve never seen a guitar look so scared before.” The awful dancer Chris Kattan, who was booted in episode one, returned and didn’t really do much except stand around. It looked like he was forced to be there via his contract. Bonner was there, looking hot as ever, and his nude chest looking even hotter. Mr. T was back, and took part in an embarassingly unfunny parody of “The A-Team”, that never should have left the editing room floor. Also included was a hilarious construction worker themed dance with Val and Normani, and also with Len and Bruno as construction workers on the sidelines. The best part, aside from watching Bruno get all freaky-like with his weird body movements on the dance floor, was afterwards, when Tom Bergeron said to Bruno: “I’ve wanted to do this all season long.” Then he held up the wooden score paddle, giving him a “4.” Bruno then removed his shirt and swung it at Tom, at which point Tom replaced his 4 with a 3. Hilarity ensued.
Now, onto the 3 Finalist couples ….

DAVID AND LINDSAY:

They have both connected hugely with the audience and the judges all season long. The proof of that is that David Ross is even IN the final three. He is pretty good, but he is in no way better than others that were voted off the show earlier, because they simply didn’t have the same fan support that David does. His Cubs team, Red Sox team, tons of celebrities, and fans all over the country just really really like this guy, and I’m one of them. He is a family man, down to earth, hilarious, and humble. And hes a hard worker. The judges love him too. Carrie Ann called him “the heart of the competition”, and even Bergeron called him “the pleasant surprise’ of this season.

LOVE METER SCORE with Judges: “R.E.S.P.E.C.T!!!! Find out what it means to me!” The judges had mad respect for David, and showed it each and every week .

LOVE METER SCORE with the Fans/Audience: To put it in baseball terms, “GRAND SLAM!!!” The fans love this guy. Period.

RASHAD AND EMMA:

Nobody, including Rashad himself, thought he would be in the finals, or that he would be THIS great of a dancer, but he is a natural. He also worked the hardest and longest of anyone else on the show this season, logging in 362 hours of practice time, which is over 100 more hours than any other star on the show. He wanted to win, he wanted to work hard, and he said that nothing in life has ever been handed to him before. He has worked for everything he has, and he wanted that Mirror Ball. Emma has never won either in 7 seasons, so it meant a lot to her as well to win this year. Their relationship with the judges was very fair and they seem to really love and know his work ethic. The fans got to know a different and softer and fun side to this NFL player, and they loved it. And him.

LOVE METER SCORE with Judges: Giving a score of “WORK IT, GIRL!” for his awesome work ethic and hard work.

LOVE METER SCORE with Fans/Audience: Let’s go with ice-cream. The fans love him like ice-cream. They see that ice-cream truck pulling up to their TV, and they just want more, more, more.

NORMANI AND VAL:

Because Normani has a shy and reserved personality, I think it took a while for the audience to warm up to her, and some never really did. She seemed aloof or stuck-up, but really, she was just sort of quiet and her personality came out shining more and more over the last few weeks. She said herself, she feels like she became a woman on this show, and she love that Val was able to “pull things” out of her. Val said it best when he said: “This show is about people, not dancing.’ Normani finally connected with the audience once they saw her vulnerable side, when she did the Contemporary Dance about being bullied when she was younger. The judges, on the other hand, have loved her from week one, calling her “born to do this”, and “brilliant.” She really impressed them on every level.

LOVE METER SCORE with Judges: ‘STUNNING!’ They were in awe of her.

LOVE METER SCORE with Fans/Audience: Giving a score of SEEDS AND PLANTS, because she took a while to grow on us, but now she’s beautiful and flourishing.

And now, the WINNERS of the show ………

RASHAD AND EMMA!!!!

Congrats to this awesome couple. I have never seen any pro dancer as happy and as shocked, as Emma was, upon winning. It was really sweet, and they totally deserved it. Their Freestyle Dance to a medley of Bruno Mars songs was EPIC, and Rashad was such a hard worker all season long, improving each week and becoming a very strong and natural dancer.

So, that’s the season, everyone! Hope you enjoyed our LOVE METER REVIEWS, as much as I’ve enjoyed writing them. We will see you next season, for more debouchery and shananigans. Hopefully, by then, Len will have had plenty of time to sleep, get his naps in, and be a lot less cranky. Nah. That’ll never happen.