How will you celebrate love this weekend!? This video was made to share some ideas…please watch it here. We believe it’s the little things that count, creative surprises, things unspoken. We’re excited to hear your unique ways of expressing love, please share in the comments below!!!
Curated by Erbe
Original Video
A little over a year ago I was suffering from anxiety, low self-esteem, and I felt paralyzed by fear. I’m a natural-born worrier, but this was different. It felt irreparable. My emotions began to take a toll on my physical health, including severe stomach pain which caused me to go to the emergency room, where I was prescribed medication to treat my symptoms. seek medication for stomach pain. I blamed my stress on a lack of a steady job and inadequate income. My relationship with my boyfriend, which had been so solid, had turned rocky. I found myself fixating on things that I never had before. We live together and if he didn’t buy toilet paper, for example, you would’ve thought I caught him having an affair.
But it was only until I looked inward, that I truly began to understand the root of my problems. I was the one causing my inner stress and inner turmoil; therefore, it stood to reason that I also had the power to transform it. I decided to seek the help of a friend who had struggled with anxiety and she told me about meditation. Like many of you, I’ve heard the benefits of meditation touted spouted for years, but I was convinced that this practice just wasn’t for me. I’m just not patient enough to just sit. I’m restless. It’s simply a waste of time, I told myself thought to myself. I had my morning routine already, coffee, a shower, and out the door. I am a creature of habit, and though this routine wasn’t serving me well, I clung to it. Feeling as low as I did, however, was the catalyst I needed I was ready to change.
I started with just five minutes of a guided meditation in the morning, and though I didn’t feel immediately transformed, I did notice that I was able to take on the challenges of the day with ease and a lightheartedness that I hadn’t felt for a very long while. For example, when I missed the subway, that morning, for example instead of dwelling on the frustration of the later train’s crowded morning commute and how I might get in trouble at work, I let the anger roll off my shoulders . I noticed the mood shift within myself and continued to meditate every morning since then.
Before I started meditating, when I would come home to find a messy kitchen, I would react angrily before thinking. I would yell at my boyfriend, place all the blame on him, without even asking wondering how his day had been was. Through mindfulness meditation I’ve learned to be patient, compassionate and more understanding, which I came to realize is the foundation of any healthy relationship. Through meditation, I realized my expectations of what should happen were unrealistically high,held too high, so high that I was judging my boyfriend and other people, when I felt they had made a mistake or didn’t act accordingly. Though it has taken a long time, I am now able to see beyond my judgements in order to distinguish the reality behind a situation.
Letting go of negative thoughts and recognizing them for what they are, merely thoughts, I found I had stopped judging myself so harshly. My self-esteem was greatly improved, I felt confident in myself once again. I realized that my low self-confidence was a result of false beliefs about myself and my capabilities, I was judging myself just as harshly as I was my boyfriend. Meditation helped me see past these negative perceptions.
Meditating helps me to slow down and not get caught up in my anxiety. If I find myself feeling overly stressed throughout the day or following a worrying thought down all the possible negative outcomes, I take just 30 seconds to focus on my breath. Inhale, exhale, repeat, and then, I return to the present. I let my negative thoughts pass on by. I breathe in the present moment and exhale all expectations. Through meditating, I’m able to find the joy in every moment, because there really is so much to be grateful for.
My best friend stared at me as if I had announced that an asteroid was about to obliterate life on Earth.
I had just told her that I was moving to Africa to marry a man I had met only six months previously, and her reaction was typical of the scepticism which greeted me whenever I told anyone about my exciting plan.
‘You’re utterly mad,’ she said. ‘You hardly know him. He could be a rapist, a conman, anything.’
My other friend Bruce’s reaction was initially one of surprise, too. ‘What?’ he asked, his eyes looking as if they might pop out of his head.
Bruce was my 28-year-old, 6ft 8in rock-climbing partner. We share a close but platonic friendship, and he was my companion on the trip to Morocco in 2005 which had resulted in my momentous decision to move there.
Deciding to move to North Africa had initially felt like a huge risk, but by the point where I was telling friends about it, I’d come to terms with the fear and was feeling steady again, and ready to make the move.
Sharing my news with friends and family felt like the first step of a long climb.
I’ve always had a bit of a wild streak, and I was never one of life’s fitters-in. Eschewing decent, steady men with proper jobs, I’d been involved with a succession of penniless poets, actors and singers.
They were charming, handsome and seductive, but not the sort of men with whom you could settle down. It was as if I deliberately chose the unsuitable ones in order to avoid commitment.
And, now, as far as my best friend was concerned, I had trumped them all.
It was easy to see why she might think this. After all, my inamorato, Abdellatif, was a Berber tribesman from a mountain village in south-west Morocco, who looked impossibly exotic in his native turban and robes.
It is often difficult to tell if someone likes you. Most people aren’t direct enough to come right out and say what they mean, so looking for other, less direct, cues can help. Body language often says just as much, if not more, than our verbal interactions, and a better understanding of body language can help you figure out what people think of you. The following article may help you tell if someone likes you before you’re in a relationship.
Many of these actions are gender neutral, but some would definitely be strange coming from a woman. Women tend to have other cues of signaling interest, in some ways more complicated and discrete than men, whether they realize this or not.
Remember, even if someone is interested in you, that doesn’t mean they are ready to move forward. If you like somebody, try encouraging their interactions and responding in kind. If you react in a neutral or indifferent way, your prospect is likely to think that you aren’t interested. If you like something someone does, remember you can reinforce it with a compliment. Communication is key to relationships, along with being honest and vulnerable.
A guy who likes you will be very aware of your presence, and you may notice him noticing you: glancing, smiling, trying not to stare. He may laugh at your jokes, pay close attention to what you say, and consciously or unconsciously mimic your movements.
1. He laughs when you laugh. One of the key things to look for is synchronicity. When two of you are amused at the same things, this is a major plus. Try not to force this, but laugh naturally. If he laughs at your jokes, that’s extra points.
2. He mirrors your movements. When you drink from a glass, he does also. If you cross your leg, he’ll have his leg crossed. If you both have your legs stretched out, you’re both wearing similar clothes, similar colors, or have the same posture — these are all good signs.
3. He smiles often when looking directly at you. Of course men smile, and they can be friendly. But if he has a certain extra smirk for you that he doesn’t for the rest of people, or if he particularly is giving you extra attention — then there’s something that’s positive happening.
4. You catch him with a “deer in the headlights” look at you. Once I decided to run outside with one of my friends in the rain because I was overwhelmed by a party. This was a totally insane feminine thing to do, but when crossing one of the windows I definitely saw a pair of eyes fascinated by this splurge of a moment, not to mention being covered in rain and stuck in your clothes doesn’t hurt.
5. Looks to you to see if you caught something strange in a group setting to see if you’ll laugh too. He wants to be on the same wavelength. Men desperately want to believe in ESP.
6. His eyebrows raise. Not dramatically, but enough to acknowledge that you are a special, keen woman.
7. He uses your name frequently because he likes it.
8. He may awkwardly compare you to women in his life whom he admires — like his mom.
A guy who really likes you will want to spend time with you and be as close to you as he can without being too obvious about it. The easiest way to tell this is his physical proximity. Does he try to get a seat next to you at group hangouts? Does he constantly appear in places you frequent? These are all signs that he likes you.
1. He appears in places you frequent randomly, whether on purpose or not.
2. He stands near you in social scenes.
3. He actively prevents other guys from connecting with you. He’ll find ways to block them, so that he has your attention instead.
4. He uses his feet to communicate with you. He taps to music, he points to you, he touches you with his feet
5. If he is driving you in a car by himself, he’ll act particularly altogether to try to impress you. He may give off clues that he likes you considering (1) part of his brain is needed to concentrate on the road (2) the setting is more private and intimate. Consider if he is trying to be personal while he drives, or if you are but a shadow in the car that he never knew was even there.
6. He offers his jacket when it’s cold. Again, he wants to come off as a gentleman. I suggest keeping the jacket and giving it back another day so that you have some kind of form of connection with him for a later day.
7. He scoots closer to you.
8. When seated he gives you less space than usual if by you.
9. He leans into you when talking. This way he can hear you better and be closer to you.
10. He crouches inward to be cuter to you. Sometimes guys know that they are intimidating, so if they try to make themselves cute, than they’re trying to be more accessible to you.
Touch is a huge indicator of desire, and a guy who likes you will want to be in physical contact as much as he can. Here are a few big signs related to physical contact and touch.
1. He looks for excuses to hold your hand, whether palm reading, helping you off a ladder, being scared, high fives, handing you an object, etc.
2. He looks for ways to touch you in non-creepy ways, such as your shoulders and arms. He wants to break the physical barrier between you, and get you used to his sense of touch. He also wants to come off as gentlemanly. He may squeeze your shoulder during an emotional moment, or he may touch you when someone else is around who is flirting with you… because he wants you to remember him, not some other guy.
3. He really likes you if he randomly plays or touches your hair. Men like hair a lot more than you think, and it is a huge sign of affection if he goes for the fro. The longer his hands stay on your head caressing hair, more likely he has a thing for you.
4. He lays his head on your shoulder. He obviously feels comfortable enough with you.
5. If he lays his head in your lap, he feels even more comfortable with you.
6. He hugs you on sight.
7. He hugs you several times in a single day. If he can’t stop hugging you for every small deed, then he really wants to be close to you.
8. He guides you through a crowd by the small of your back.
9. Random high fives. He gives you lots and lots and lots of high fives… for everything.
10.He hugs you from behind. This is unusual, but probably means they are super excited to see you and can’t even wait for you to turn to look them in the face.
11. He gives you big bear hugs.
12. He picks you up and spins you.
13. He kisses your hand.
14. He kisses your forehead.
15. He grabs at your elbow.
16. He dances with you or next to you.
17. He wraps his arm around yours while walking.
We’re all familiar with the anxious, overwhelming feelings that can arise from having a crush on someone. If a guy is kind of flustered and odd around you, it may be because he likes you and doesn’t know how to deal with it.
1. He crashes into objects in the area out of nervousness.
2. He forgets where he is going out of nervousness. He may forget incredibly basic information about you too, because he is nervous.
3. He has a sudden amount of energy and wanders everywhere like a kid on sugar.
4. He adjusts his crotch area. This should be understood.
5. He plays with any rings on his fingers out of nervousness.
6. He plays with objects on the table out of nervousness. He needs to do something with himself because he is brooding with emotion.
7. He suddenly has the need to adjust one of his socks and pull it up. This is an old trick, but for whatever reason if you do something entirely endearing, this is a knee-jerk reaction by men that is telling of only one thing: I like her.
8. He grooms his hair when around you. Any kind of knee-jerk reaction to groom shows they want to look their best, whether for vanity or because you are in the room.
9. He stares at you for too long.
10. He smells of cologne.
If a guy really likes you, instead of acting nervous he may actually act extra confident and happy around you because you simply make him feel good. If he’s using lots of open body language, and it seems as though he can really relax in your presence, this is a sign that he feels comfortable and free when you’re around.
1. He has better posture because you gave him a surge of confidence.
2. His body language allows him to show his wrists meaning he is comfortable around you since this is a vulnerable place on humans.
3. He licks his lips, generally subconsciously.
4. His nostrils open. Essentially, the more open the body language, the better. This can manifest in the strangest of ways, such as the nostrils.
5. He stretches out his legs and body. If he can make more of himself prominent in a room, then you’re more likely to gander at him.
6. He stands taller. You make him feel confident, and women dig tall guys over just about anything else.
7. Puffs out chest. He is feeling confident, and he wants you to see him as a protector.
8. Has more open body language rather than crossing arms, legs, keeping his palms toward himself.
9. He sings random songs around you or whistles. He is happy and free.
Curated by Erbe
Original Article
Love on the brain? Ever since the beginning of time, we have been trying to understand what this all-consuming, life-changing feeling is all about. But we haven’t reached satisfactory answers, or a definition of love that everyone can agree on. One thing we all agree on, though, is that love comes from the heart, right? Think again, because this tenet has been proven wrong.
Dr. Helen Fischer, an anthropologist and expert on romantic love, conducted thousands of fMRIs, and found that when one is in love, it is the hypothalamus that gets activated. The hypothalamus is the part of the brain responsible for regulating emotions, sleep, hormones and physical expression of emotions. So, that urge you feel to hug, kiss and make love to your partner comes from here. Every time you cuddle or have sex with your partner, your body also releases oxytocin, which is the hormone responsible for attachment. This is how someone comes to be “special” to you.
The hypothalamus is also the pleasure-and-reward centre of the brain. When you’re in love, a large amount of the happy hormone called dopamine is released. This is registered in the hypothalamus as a reward, which kicks off a mechanism similar to addiction. In the presence of the object of your desire, happy hormones are released and you feel great. In their absence, the level of these hormones dips … and you feel like shit. All you want then, is for your lover to come back. Sounds like addiction, right?
Tolerance means that you want to see more and more of your partner to feel the same level of happiness and satisfaction. You want to go from dinner dates every weekend to mid-week lunches, to nights over, to moving in together.
Withdrawal means that when your partner is not around, you don’t feel good. You feel low, unhappy and crave them.
Relapse is extremely common. It doesn’t have to be as extreme as actually getting back with your partner, but even when you’re reminded of them, you are relapsing.
Have you ever wondered why you feel more energetic and generally healthier when you’re in love? That sparkle in the eyes of those in love isn’t mythical or just a fancy twist of words. Love is a visceral experience, and your body chemistry changes because of it. It is an antidote to illnesses and actually increases one’s lifespan. It makes sense that the pain of losing a loved one is so extreme, and hard to bounce back from. Because just like love, breaking up is also biological.
Curated by Erbe
Original Article
