For men, often a duck is just a duck. To us, we see a potential Christmas dinner (sorry to my vegetarian readers) and a down pillow, and wonder why in the world they only see a duck.

I think part of the problem stems from the idea that most women, including myself for large portion of my life, never really examined what is truly important to me in a relationship. What do I want from a man mentally, emotionally, spiritually,  physically,  sexually, financially, and how do I want to feel in his presence?

So many of us just take what we are offered, afraid to have nothing offered at all. But for those of us who assumed a masculine role and do the doing, not only will you never have what you desire from a man, but you will also emasculate the man that you are in relationship with and he will never have what he wants from a woman, which in part is to be able to offer himself to her, not to be forced to give her what she wants.

There is a huge difference between being offered something by a man and asking for it from him.

In my book, I write about the difference between being a W.O.M.A.N.  And feminism. I believe that feminism attempted to bring socioeconomic parity two women,  which we certainly deserve, but somewhere along the way we stopped being in our feminine qualities.  We stopped experiencing them in ourselves and we stopped offering them to the world, and of course the men we come in contact with.

Men are longing to experience a part of us that knows how to just be, how to subtly suggest what we need from them, without so much blah, blah, blah.

Men don’t want to be talked at, they want to be talked to.

But back to us. If you’re in a relationship, think about how the scenarios I am putting forth in this piece may relate to you and how your relationship began.  If your guy is someone who you complain about who is always sitting on the couch drinking beer, watching sports and porn, well, he should probably be in a relationship with a woman who likes to do those things as well. But if in beginning you chose to overlook qualities that were clearly present in him to go along with it to try to sway him into doing all the things you love, this relationship is and was doomed from the beginning.

The feminine art of asking from the place of the heart, the womb, is wordless and has more power than all the talking we could ever do.

A large part of my work speaks to the need for us to return to the true feminine essence, and by implication how that will redirect the masculine. The masculine has become more feminine as the feminine has become more masculine. Look around the world just in your immediate environment and notice how many couples have an inversion of those male/female polarities, where the women wear the pants so to speak.   And I’m not saying AT ALL that we should let men dominate us. That’s NOT what this is about.  It’s about balance, polarity, harmony, synergy, and most of all, love.  Not dominion.