Call up your best friend.
When you break up with your boyfriend, one of the absolute worst things you can do is sit at home alone with nothing to do. And that’s why you’re obsessing over him in the first place, right? You’re still thinking about the relationship that could have been. Whenever you feel like reaching for the phone to text him on a Thursday night, resist the urge and call up your best friend instead. Girl talk will never let you down.
And don’t just leave it at that. Go out and keep busy! The more time you spend alone, the more likely your thoughts will wander back to what your ex-boyfriend is up to.
“Go out on the town or have a movie night,” suggests Laura Baugh from Virginia Tech. “It sounds so clichéd and stupid, but it really does wonders. Tip: bring a camera. Nothing is better than taking a look at funny pictures from a fun night.”
“Listen, whether you like it or not, you’re in the midst of a big transition and you’re going to need support,” Scarborough says. “That’s why I believe it’s best to have more than one friend or family member at the ready and to tell them what you’re going to need from them. And don’t you dare try to do this alone because you’re too proud to ask for help. This is exactly what friends are for.”
Hang out with your friends and family, hit the gym or go shopping at the mall. Take the time to pamper yourself with an at-home mani pedi. Whatever it is you decide to do, do something that gets your mind off of the break-up.
Keep reminding yourself why the two of you broke up… and why maybe, it was a good thing!
Most importantly, you shouldn’t forget why the two of you broke up in the first place. It’s easy to be nostalgic for a past relationship, but thinking back to the not-so good times will remind you of why you didn’t work out as a couple in the first place and will help you move on. Stop and think realistically about why you’re better off without him– maybe he didn’t support your goals or was obnoxiously immature. Either way, once you’ve gotten past the post-break-up obsession, you’ll come to realize that you’re better off without him.
Sure, break-ups can be brutal. But instead of wallowing in the past, take this time to get to know yourself again!
“One of the great things about getting out of a relationship is all of the free time you have,” Scarborough says. “So, instead of just focusing on your ex, take some time to really focus on you and what you want. A break-up is the perfect chance to take a good look at your priorities, your goals and your dreams. Start thinking about what you want your life to be now and what you want your first solo adventure to look like.”
While it’s important to remember the good times we might have had with our ex, it’s just as important to remind yourself of the bad times and consider the lessons learned. In the meantime, take our tips to heart—they’ll help you get through that post-break-up misery and get over him sooner!
Curated by Erbe