Learn to feel and bring that beautiful deep breath and responsiveness into intimacy with a partner. Your orgasms will change, your whole body will respond differently…
What if you made ecstasy part of your daily spiritual practice? How would that change the richness and the quality of your life? If you want to reclaim your sexuality, and learn how to live on the ecstatic spectrum, do yoga. You don’t need to learn 450 positions; that won’t do it if you’re numb. Clearing the numbness is the first step to owning and celebrating your sexuality. Practice playing with sensating individually and with your partner, and you will have sensational sex!
Viscerally explore how to wake your skin up. Tactile sensation starts with the skin and vibrates inward. Sex isn’t just about the “sexual” organs. Involve the whole skin and body. Enjoy learning different qualities of touch and sensation — it’s essential, and fun!
Here’s a good exercise to stay connected and track feeling. Inhale, running your finger from inside of wrist to elbow, deliberately inviting in all sensations. Exhale, go back down from elbow to wrist studying, through feeling, the difference between sensating with inhale and exhale. Track what part of that you can feel. Any feeling is a win.
For a long time I couldn’t do this. I challenged myself to learn how to feel a subtle touch and enjoy that. Cats are good teachers that way, because if you pet one correctly, it purrs and feels good. Learn to touch yourself and your partner in a way that makes you both purr! If you are a dog person, when you rub your dog just right, it wriggles in ecstasy. That’s a clue you’re on the right track!
In choosing to become a whole person, I had to explore what it means to be sexual in a way I could respect. I decided to cleanse the taint of abuse and insane cultural conditioning from my sexuality and my cell tissue. As I explored this, I realized that many of us don’t know how to be sexual in a way that is healthy and authentic. I am learning, (and so can you), to put my conditioning aside and feel what it means to play with and enjoy sexual energy as a way both for sacred connection and for good, sweaty fun.
I started teaching my body how to feel pleasure, because it didn’t know how. I began to hunt my sexuality and learn how to avidly ride those energies internally, instead of shutting down around them. I began doing my practice in way that ran pleasurable energy. Wow, just ride that wave! Moving with awareness from subtle sensations all the way to a huge rush, without shutting down, was good training for sexuality. One of my quantum leaps was learning how to use my orgasm muscles in my yoga practice! That’s fun!