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Category: Sex

10 Surprising Things You Never Knew About Infidelity

by zfortadminin RELATIONSHIPS, Sex

Why do cheaters cheat? New research has uncovered some truths about infidelity that could surprise you. Did your partner cheat on you because her mother was a cheater? Is there really a most popular day to cheat? Read on to find the answers:

  1. You can be genetically predisposed to infidelity

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If you’re the cheating kind, you may have your genes to blame: Researchers from Binghamton University found that about half of all people with the DRD4 gene — also known as the “thrill-seeking” gene — were more prone to promiscuity and unfaithfulness.

  1. Women think men with deep voices are more likely to cheat.

Bad news for men who sound anything like Barry White. A study published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences showed that women perceive men with deep voices as being more likely to cheat. Researchers asked women to listen to men’s voices and determine which guys were prone to cheating. Researchers then asked which men women were most attracted to for long- and short-term flings. The verdict? Men with deep voices were seen as being more suitable for a fling and more likely to stray.

  1. Democrats are more tolerant of cheating than Republicans.

The way you react to being cheated on might be a result of your political beliefs. In a YouGov poll commissioned by The Huffington Post, 14 percent of Democrats versus 10 percent of Republicans surveyed said they would definitely give their partner a second chance if they discovered an affair.

  1. An affair may increase the risk of a broken penis.

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Affairs don’t just break hearts, they might also break penises. Dr. Andrew Kramer, a urologist and assistant professor of surgery at the University of Maryland Medical Center, studied 16 cases of penile fracture between 2007 and 2011 that required surgery. Half of those men admitted to fracturing their member during an extramarital affair. “I think the time you don’t see a lot of men fracturing their penises is in the bedroom with his wife that he’s been married to for a number of years,”Kramer explained to the Huffington Post

  1. Cheaters find their spouses more attractive than their affair partners.

When it comes to cheating, it’s not all about looks. Extra-marital dating site Victoria Milan polled over 4,000 of their members and found that most cheaters considered their significant others to be more attractive than their affair partners.

  1. Men who cheat are more likely to have heart attacks than non-cheaters.

And in another blow to cheating men everywhere, a study out of the University of Florence suggested that “sudden coital death” is more common when a man is getting it on with his mistress in an unfamiliar setting than when he’s having sex with his spouse at home.

  1. Women are more likely to cheat if their mothers were cheaters.

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A survey by Illicit Encounters — an extra-marital dating site based in Britain — polled 2,000 members and found that 73 percent of women who admitted to having an affair had mothers who cheated as well. Apparently, the unfaithful apple doesn’t fall far from the unfaithful tree.

  1. Cheaters love taking their dates to Morton’s The Steakhouse.

Chain restaurants and steak houses came out on top when extramarital dating site Ashley Madison asked roughly 43,000 of their users where they take their dates to dinner. Morton’s The Steakhouse was the most popular choice. The Cheesecake Factory and Ruth’s Chris made the list, too.

  1. Most millennials consider flirting online to be a form of infidelity.

Be careful with those heart-eye and winky face emojis if you’re in a relationship. The website Fusion recently asked 1,000 18- to 34-year-olds if they thought “online flirtations or relationships” counted as cheating, and 82 percent said yes.

  1. Wednesday is the most popular day for people to cheat.

Abstract of an Analogue Alarm Clock Ringing its Bells Early in the Morning

They don’t call it “hump day” for nothing: Wednesday, between 5 and 7 p.m, is the most popular day and time for people to cheat, according to dating site Ashley Madison.

P*rn vs. Real Sex: Explained with Food

by zfortadminin Sex

If you’ve ever watched porn, and if you’ve ever had sex, you know that the two are very different. With all the porn out there on the Internet, it’s no wonder people are having more unrealistic expectations when it come to the bedroom. What’s most important to remember is that while porn is entertaining, it’s not a fair measuring stick for your sexual experiences. But what are the differences, specifically? Whet your appetite and watch the video!

24 Diagrams To Help You Have Better Sex

by zfortadminin Sex

Has your sex routine gotten a little stale? Maybe it’s time you and your partner brought a few new positions into the bedroom! These 24 diagrams will help get you out of your rut and into a whole new realm of pleasure!

1. For all the kisses.

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glitterandnightmares.tumblr.com

2. For a basic ~pleasure~ blueprint.

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Men’s Health / Via menshealth.com

These charts don’t apply to everyone, of course, but they’re interesting to look at nonetheless! See more about this at Do You Know Her Pleasure Points? via Men’s Health.

3. For when you need to love yourself first.

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4. For understanding consent.

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Jana Marie Soroczak for VitaminW / Via vitaminw.co

In case there’s any confusion at all. To learn more, read What Consent Looks Like atVitaminW.

Infographic by Jana Marie Soroczak for VitaminW.

5. For sleeping with bae (and actually sleeping).

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Allison Pottasch for Swimmingly / Via swimmingly.com

Cute, right? Read more about the best and worst sleep positions for couples atSwimmingly.

6. For using a condom the right way.

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Erika Moen / Via ohjoysextoy.com

Using condoms during sex is called the “barrier method” of protection. When used correctly, they’re 98% effective at preventing pregnancy (but when used incorrectly, they’re only 82% effective). Condoms can also be a good way to reduce your risk of contracting or spreading STIs. They don’t protect you against all STIs (some can be spread from skin-to-skin contact, for instance), but it’s a good place to start.

Worth noting: The best thing you can do for yourself in terms of protection against STIs: Get tested, know your status, and get treatment for any STIs that you do have. Not all are curable, but all can be treated to one degree or another. See more information about STI testing and treatment here.

Infographic via Erika Moen of OhJoySexToy.

7. For when condoms alone might not cut it.

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John Warren Hanawalt / Via johnheartsdesign.com

Condoms aren’t the only barrier method in town. Depending on the sex act or the partner, you might benefit more from one of these other options.

Infographic by John Warren Hanawalt for Fenway Health.

8. For a gentle reminder to know your status and protect yourself in multiple ways.

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Guttmacher Institute / Via guttmacher.org

Again, condoms alone won’t keep you safe and protected — it’s also vital to know your STI status, and get treated for any STIs that you do have (many of which don’t have obvious symptoms). Learn more here.

9. For a sexy soundtrack.

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Women’s Health / Via womenshealthmag.com

Women’s Health Facebook followers shared their favorite sex songs (shown above). Any you’d add?

10. For feeling comfortable calling the shots.

This is so, so important. Your sex life is your own, and you call the shots. Viasexedquestions.tumblr.com and sexpositiveblog.com.

11. For knowing just where you stand.

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David McCandless / Via informationisbeautiful.net

Hey, labels aren’t the worst thing ever, and monogamy isn’t necessarily for everyone. Isn’t it better to be honest and up-front about it?

Infographic via David McCandless of Information Is Beautiful, author of Knowledge Is Beautiful.

12. For getting in the mood.

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Women’s Health / Via womenshealthmag.com

Find out what makes these foods so ~sexy~ at 7 Foods That Boost Your Libido, viaWomen’s Health.

13. For making your room a bit more hospitable to overnight guests.

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Men’s Health / Via pinterest.com

You don’t need ceiling mirrors or stripper poles to turn your bedroom into a verifiable sex den. Instead, you should make your bed as inviting as possible, according to Men’s Health. These 7 Sex Upgrades For Your Bed are a good place to start.

14. For getting it on during pregnancy.

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Illustrations by Patrick George for Women’s Health / Via womenshealthmag.com

For tips about how to do each of these moves, plus four more pregnancy sex positions, read Have Hot Pregnancy Sex: The Best Positions For Every Trimester, viaWomen’s Health.

15. For exploring your kinky side.

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Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed / Via buzzfeed.com

OK, so this isn’t a chart, but it is a great primer on all things BDSM (as in: all the things that you didn’t learn from reading or watching Fifty Shades of Grey). Check it out, and ready the handcuffs!

16. For keeping your penis safe and sound.

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Men’s Health / Via pinterest.com

Thanks, Men’s Health! Read The 10 Worst Things That Can Happen To Your Penis for more on this topic.

17. For when you see a bangin’ booty and kinda wanna shout about it.

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Shea Strauss for Playboy / Via playboy.com

Glad we cleared THAT up. Flowchart by Shea Strauss for Playboy.

18. For when you want a little more playfulness in your relationship.

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Alice Mongkongllite for BuzzFeed / Via buzzfeed.com

For more details on this, check out The Couples Bucket List You’ll Actually Want To Do.

19. For, ahem, improving your flexibility and opening those hips.

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World Lifestyle / Via worldlifestyle.com

Speaking of fitness for better sex… See 10 Ways Exercise Makes Your Sex Life Better (According to Science).

20. For when you might wanna give yourself a hand.

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JimmyJane / Via visual.ly

Masturbation can be a totally normal part of your sex life, no matter your gender, and regardless of whether you have a partner or not.

21. For choosing the best birth control for you.

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Greatist / Via greatist.com

Via Greatist. WORTH NOTING: Per the infographic, all the costs listed are before health insurance. Under the Affordable Care Act, anyone with insurance can now get many types of birth control for free, without a copay. More on that here.

22. For where NOT to store your condoms (lest they break!).

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23. For if the condom breaks anyway.

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Planned Parenthood / Via plannedparenthood.tumblr.com

From Planned Parenthood’s Tumblr post: “Note: If you’re a trans guy who takes hormones, you should talk with your doctor and see what they recommend when it comes to taking emergency contraception. Unfortunately, right now there isn’t enough research that tells us how hormonal EC will affect you, so your best choice may be the non-hormonal ParaGard IUD.”

24. For after sex is over, and you’re eyeballing that selfie stick.

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Tom Phillips / Via buzzfeed.com

Just say no.

 

Read the original article here.

What Your Orgasm Reveals About Your Partner

by zfortadminin Sex

Why are some orgasms better than others, even when there’s no obvious reason for a difference in quality? A new study has proposed an explanation: A woman’s orgasm helps her determine how good a partner the other person will be.

In other words, the stronger the orgasm, the more eligible the bachelor.

By surveying heterosexual female college students in committed relationships (and it’s worth noting that only heterosexual relationships were examined), researchers at the University of Albany looked at whether orgasm intensity, frequency, and sexual satisfaction are determined by a woman’s choice of mate.

The researchers found that the more frequently the women orgasmed, the more intense the orgasms were. What’s more, the “ideal” mate — someone who causes plentiful, and therefore powerful, female orgasms — is funny, highly attractive (with broad shoulders, specifically), self-confident, and has a high-earning family. Yes, you read that correctly: Women have stronger orgasms if their partner is rich.

The researchers said that “sense of humour not only predicted [a man’s] self-confidence and family income, but it also predicted women’s propensity to initiate sex, how often they had sex, and it enhanced their orgasm frequency in comparison with other partners.”

Now, this doesn’t mean you should start pining away for a broad-shouldered heir with a rapier wit, but the study does remind us that there’s more to sex than physical performance. Or maybe it’s a message to all the men out there in committed, heterosexual relationships: If you’re trying to please your significant other in bed, consider focusing less on technique and more on your joke delivery.

How to Feel True Intimacy When Making Love

by zfortadminin Mind, Sex

There is a difference between sex and intimacy, and sometimes in a relationship, those two things can get separated. Once you reclaim that intimacy, you can find your relationship stronger than ever.

What is intimacy to you?

Chances are you picture hugs, and long talks staring deeply into each other’s eyes, and holding hands, and even enjoying the silence together. We love feeling totally emotionally connected to another human being–especially our husbands.

Yet most husbands’ definition of intimacy would likely involve far less clothing and far more action. To them, intimacy tends to be sexual. When we open ourselves up sexually, they feel invigorated, accepted, and needed.

Because we both view intimacy differently, though, it’s easy to withdraw when we don’t feel like our needs are being met. When he doesn’t listen to our hearts or show affection, we can easily feel hurt and unappreciated. That makes  us clam up. Then he starts feeling unloved and unappreciated because we aren’t making love, and he withdraws.

Have you ever been part of that domino effect, where everything just starts collapsing?

It’s exhausting.

That was me for the first few years of our marriage. I felt like the more he wanted sex, the less he must love me, because it meant that he loved me for what I could do for him, not just for who I was. His love felt conditional. But he felt the same thing about me!

So there we both were, both feeling like we were being loving, yet both feeling very unloved.

There’s a neat thing about the domino effect, though. When those dominoes start dropping, you can stop the disaster by getting ahead of it. Just do something differently!

With Christmas coming, many of us are eagerly looking for the perfect Christmas gift for our husbands, so that they’ll feel cherished and loved and respected. Perhaps the best gift we can give him is to make an attitude change ourselves, and decide that this year, we’re going to stop that domino effect. We’re going to start figuring out how to look forward to sex–and how to feel true intimacy when we do make love, too.

  1. Get Some Sleep

Seriously. Sleep is a real marriage issue. One of the main reasons that women don’t want to have sex, and have their libidos plummet, is that we’re just too tired. Getting rid of things off of your plate, going to bed at a decent hour, and carving out time for yourself during the day isn’t selfish at all. It’s putting a priority on your marriage!

Added Benefit: Sex helps you sleep better! You fall asleep faster, and you sleep more deeply. So now when I’m super tired, I don’t tell my husband “no”. I say, “come put me to sleep, baby!”

  1. Initiate More

Your husband doesn’t want to be placated. He wants to be wanted. Saying “yes” to him while you lie there and don’t move very much isn’t going to make him feel ten feet tall; he’ll feel like a heel. If you are the one who starts, though, you show him that you do want this.

Added Benefit: If you initiate, you tend to be more active, which has the added advantage that you do things that feel good to you. Instead of him setting the stage, you can set the stage and steer things into a direction that feels great to you!

  1. Be Mentally Present!

Have you ever been making love to your husband when the thought suddenly occurs to you, “is there milk in the fridge for breakfast?” As soon as the thought’s in there, you start adding to it. “What else do I have to pick up at the grocery store tomorrow?” And before you know it your mind is gone.

We women are multi-taskers, but this is one area where that’s a very bad idea. If your head isn’t in the game, your body won’t follow. So when you are making love, make it a practice, even if it’s difficult, of not letting your mind go anywhere else. He’ll likely notice the difference immediately, since that will likely make you more active all at once.

Added Benefit: When we concentrate on what’s going on, we also feel more intimate ourselves, and we feel more loved, because it becomes more emotional and less clinical.

  1. Make Great Sex Your Research Project of 2014

Finally, maybe one of the reasons it’s hard for you to jump on the bandwagon is because making love has never felt that stupendous. The earth has never moved and you start to wonder what all the fuss is about.

That’s normal. When I wrote The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex, I found out that it took on average about sixteen years of marriage for things to begin to work like clockwork. It isn’t automatic. And that’s perfectly okay.

As you get better at communicating, as you trust more, as you become more vulnerable, sex will improve. But sometimes you also need a little bit of help! Get a book that can help you learn how to make your body feel good. Find a book to work through together (like my 31 Days to Great Sex). Even put the book in his stocking, with a letter, saying that you want 2014 to be the year that you both really connect.

Added Benefit: You’ll start to feel those fireworks, too! And the more your body starts to respond, the easier it gets to respond, so that it snowballs.

The best gift you can give your husband is to start valuing the things that he values, and that includes the way that he sees love. And as you do this, you’ll learn a special secret: sex is actually pretty great, and it isn’t just for him! So this Christmas, give him all of yourself. You may just find that you enjoy the present just as much.

Curated by Michael

Original Article

Funny Friday: Skype Sex

by zfortadminin Sex

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=je93vzro1Ow

Long distance relationships can be hard, especially the lack of intimacy. But thanks to computers and smartphones, there’s no reason the two of you can’t enjoy a little sexy time, even if it’s more digital than personal. There are a few drawbacks though…let this couple show you the harder parts of having Skype sex!

 

Curated by Erbe

6 Things They Didn’t Teach You in Sex Ed

by zfortadminin Sex

Sex education isn’t usually a high priority in most schools. Some barely teach it, and the ones that do often have to tiptoe around certain subjects to appease prudish parents who would prefer their children remain oblivious. A new book, Too Hot To Handle: A Global History Of Sex Education `by Jonathan Zimmerman reveals the historical struggle to teach sexual education in schools around the world and the accompanying opposition. A recent study found that less than 46 percent of males and 33 percent of females receive formal instruction on contraception methods before their first time having sex. This makes sense, since, according to Zimmerman, what kids do learn (at least in America) is “a smattering of information about their reproductive organs and a set of stern warnings about putting them to use.”

So what would the ideal sex education class look like? It of course depends who you’re talking to, but in my opinion, the most important things are those things that they’re usually not teaching — the social and psychological sides to sex, the truth about STDs, and a full spectrum of LGBTQ issues. Granted, I’m not a licensed sexologist, but from my own experiences with life and sex in the decade since high school, these are six things I think they should definitely be teaching in high school sex ed.

1. What oxytocin is and how pop science misrepresents it

Oxytocin (also called the “love hormone”) is one neurochemical released in your brain during sex, intimate physical contact, and a whole host of other activities. A lot of pop science articles suggest that oxytocin is what causes women to become more attached than men are to women after sex.  If you look carefully into these claims, you’ll find that the studies they cite are often promoted by conservative and/or religious organizationswith very particular agendas, or are merely based on half-truths or dubious inferences. There is a lot more at work socially, psychologically, and physically when you have sex than just oxytocin, so girls shouldn’t be taught that sex with some guy is going to make her fall in love while he remains cool and collected.

2. You can still get STDs while wearing a condom.

If kids learned that they could still get STD’s even if they did practice safe sex, it might make them abstinent for life, so it kinda makes sense that sex positive sex ed wouldn’t want to share the real truth about HPV or herpes. However, it’s important to know that both of these viruses can be transmitted through skin to skin contact, even if there’s a condom between you. The good news is that (at least for guys) there’s this weird latex contraption for ultra safe coverage! Seriously though, all sex is like Russian roulette in a way, but that shouldn’t keep you from engaging in it safely.

3. You can get pregnant during your period.

This is another bummer lesson that girls should learn. Even if you and your partner have been tested, you’re still not home free during that time of the month. Depending on your individual cycle, you can still get pregnant during your period, particularly if you have irregular ovulation. So proceed with caution, kids.

4. Virginity is not defined by a hymen breaking.

Why is this still a thing? Penetrative sex with a human penis does not define a “deflowering” — which is also a horrible, sexist term. (What do you become after you lose your “flower” anyways — a dead husk of a plant or a pile of mulch?) Virginity is not defined by a flap of skin, it’s individual from person to person, and losing it definitely does not require a penis.

5. Casual sex is for some people and not for others, regardless of gender.

Along with all the misinformation about oxytocin is this idea that casual sex is designed for men and disastrous for women. From my experience, many a dude’s heart has been torn asunder from the slings and arrows of casual sex, too. As a recent NYU study suggested, casual sex affects each individual based on their own socialized views of casual sex —  not on their gender.

6. Losing your virginity isn’t necessarily a defining moment in your life.

Sometimes it is, and sometimes it isn’t. A lot of times it just happens, and that was that. Your first time defines you only if you want it to. Despite what most religions on earth will tell you, your virginity status does not make you better or worse than anybody else. And when it comes to women, losing your virginity does not make you a “slut” or less-worthy of respect.

7. Sex is supposed to be enjoyable.

He Said, She Said: Ten Things We Wish Sex Education Taught Us In a recent Huffington Post article titled, "So, You Think You're Cool Because You Hate Condoms?," I cavalierly stated, "No matter how high the stakes, most adult attitudes involving safer sex are formed (and stuck) back in high school." Which is true.However, more often than not, what is learned "back in high school" arrives via friends or porn. For most of us, official sex education was simply nonexistent or mediocre.

I get the assumption that if you tell teens that sex is supposed to be an awesome party they’ll somehow all have unplanned pregnancies or incurable STD’s, but, there is still too much fear and danger piled onto discussions of human sexuality. Sex ed can still provide all the scientific facts about human reproduction and the possible social and psychological ramifications of sex with a positive spin on it all. Living in fear of sexual intimacy is about the worst thing you can teach someone. The jury is out on how the 21st century will fare in the sex ed department — I hope it’s better than the last thousand years.

Curated by Erbe

Original Article

Why Orgasms are Good For Your Brain

by zfortadminin Sex

As if orgasms couldn’t get any better, did you know they’re actually really good for your brain? When you orgasm, dopamine is released into your brain, bringing waves of happiness with it. When it’s over, your brain releases oxytocin, the cuddling and attachment hormone that draws you closer to your partner. Need more proof? Just watch the video above!

Curated by Sara

Original Article

This is What Happens to Your Body During Sex

by zfortadminin Sex

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWWl6L1QeO8

When the urge hits you and your partner, it’s likely that nothing will stop you. You both feel a rush as you reach for one another, your minds racing and yet blank at the same time. Adrenaline flows, your hearts pound. Everything intensifies. And that’s just the first stage!

There are four stages to the sexual response cycle: Excitement, Plateau, Orgasm, and Resolution. During each one, your body goes through a number of changes, many of which may not be noticeable, especially in the heat of the moment. Watch the video above to find out what happens to you during each one!

 

Curated by Erbe

Original Video

Tantra is Not P*rn

by zfortadminin Mind, Sex

What if studying tantra could heal our addiction to Porn? What if tapping into our natural abilities to experience ecstasy changes everything?

I was really nervous when I first realized that I wanted to teach Tantra. What would people think? Would they be offended? Talking about sex is such a no-no. I live in a very small conservative community, how was this going to work?

But then a good friend said to me, “Do you realize what you’re offering people? Tantra is essentially the OPPOSITE of porn.” Once I realized this, I never looked back!

Porn is a funny thing. Despite some opinions, I believe that it isn’t inherently evil. Lots of people truly enjoy watching porn, including many couples who use it together to have a new experience. Yet it is seemingly undeniable that there are some real dark sides to porn.

Besides the obvious violence and anything involving children, there are much more insidious issues:

1) What We Look Like Is Everything

Porn focuses on being stimulated through the body. And so we are subconsciously told that sexuality depends on what your body looks like. You must be young, fit, have perky breasts and a large penis, otherwise you can’t be a good lover. And ironically this sets up a huge self-worth issue in everyone, particularly those who don’t see themselves as young, fit and perky. And for the ones that do, they still quite often don’t see themselves as perky or big enough. Ultimately, no one leaves happy with themselves.

2) It’s All About Successfully Pleasuring The Other

Porn focuses on pleasing the other. Now obviously there is some part of us deep down that knows that the desire to please our partner is actually a wonderful thing. But that isn’t usually how it comes across in porn. It comes across as the only thing that is important. That bringing the other person to orgasm is the only goal. And what’s wrong with that you ask? Well it is the message that our unconscious receives, that this is the only goal of lovemaking. That if you can’t bring your partner to orgasm, then there is no point making love. We end up with things like performance anxiety on both the giver and the receiver side.

Shot of nude female telekinetic posing with stones

3) Connection & Intimacy Aren’t Important

Porn has nothing to do with connection. It is simply a series of physical events that two people do together. There is no connection or intimacy. And this isn’t always bad, sometimes a round of rockin’ porn sex can be fun, but again it sends programming to our subconscious that this is what sex is about. That the connection doesn’t matter and it’s just about getting off.

4) This Is All We Are Capable Of

The worst part of it is that porn makes us believe that this is all that there is. We think that we know what sex is all about and that porn just plays the edge of it, which is what is so titillating. But it isn’t true.

THE TRUTH IS that we as humans are using maybe 5% of our sexual abilities. It’s like having a piano where we think that there are only 10 keys. So we get really good at playing chopsticks. But the truth is that there are 88 keys and we can actually play phenomenal mind-blowing music. But we just didn’t know.

Porn deepens the belief that chopsticks is all that there is. So we just play it edgier and edgier so that hearing it still interests us. But we are missing the boat.

So how does Tantra change all this?

It shows us the other 78 keys on the piano, and then teaches us how to play.

1) We Are So Much More Than Our Physical Bodies

The sexiest part of us isn’t our physicality. A truly sensual person has a presence about them that is absolutely captivating and enthralling. They can look at you and gently touch you in a way that will leave you spellbound. They will bring you into their inner quiet where you will breathe and touch each other sending chills and orgasms throughout your bodies. What their body looks like is quite irrelevant.

2) Pleasuring Is Greater When It Is Mutual

We are energetic beings as well as physical. When we are touching our partner, if we are really present and enjoying the feel of our partner’s skin, they will sense this. Your touch will be different than if you are just doing it in order to please them. When you are truly in the moment, there is an electricity that comes out your fingers (or other sexy parts) that permeates your partner’s entire body. As your partner’s body responds to this, this pleasure cycles back to you, and the giver and the receiver roles start to become blurred. There is just simply pleasure being shared regardless of who is doing what.

3) Connection Is Everything

We are DESIGNED to connect with each other on a very deep level. Human beings do not do well without feeling deep connection. We call it “neediness” and “being desperate” when someone is feeling disconnected. But it’s really just because deep down we know that we are capable of phenomenal connection. And when we feel this amazing connection, things in our lives just get better. Depression lifts. We don’t feel as anxious. We notice the joys in life. We appreciate each other. We feel a level of content and happiness that we just don’t experience when we are all alone.

In tantra, this connection comes first. This is the foundation of all the sexual play. It’s like you first have to “plug in” to each other before the energy can flow. And so there is real intention to drop our guards and allow each other inside to truly connect and experience each other.

4) Sex Is Meant To Be A Multi-Dimensional Experience

When we actually bring in everything that we truly are into our intimate experiences, we go from having simply physical sex to having an experience involving our minds, emotions, feelings, intuition, passion, presence, plus a pile of dimensions that you can’t even explain, they just happen.

And the most amazing thing is that it doesn’t take any tricks. It doesn’t take a pile of methods or fancy sexual abilities. It is actually incredibly natural and programmed into us, we just haven’t accessed it.

Spiritual nude woman telekinetically moving stone

So Will Tantra Rid The World Of Porn?

I don’t think so. We love sex. Our sexual desire makes us feel alive. And truthfully, watching other people have sex can be very titillating.

Tantra heals our REAL relationships with REAL people. Learning how to actually be intimate with others allows us to have incredibly satisfying relationships with the people around us. We feel deeper connections and our intimate experiences actually heal us and make us feel wonderful about ourselves!

So porn won’t go away, but for many, the addiction can fade, because once you start experiencing the opposite side, your true potential, true intimacy and the sexual experiences that we are designed to have, the porn can’t own you. It just doesn’t come close to comparing to the experiences you’ve had.

I mean, once you’ve driven a Mazerati, driving a child’s push car just doesn’t compare.

Curated by Karinna

Original Article

 

Are Smartphones Ruining Our Sex Lives?

by zfortadminin Sex

The cause of our dissatisfying sex lives has been in our pockets all along, or so new research from Durham University suggests. People are more likely to be seduced by gadgets than by their partners.

According to the study commissioned by condom-maker Durex, smartphones are destroying sex lives.

The survey involved detailed interviews with 15 couples around the UK, 40 percent of whom confessed to delaying sex to use their smartphones or tablets.

Others revealed they had “raced through sex” in order to check their social media notifications or respond to messages.

One third of participants admitted to interrupting sex to answer incoming calls.

The study however revealed over a quarter of the couples had used their gadgets during sexual intercourse to film their encounters, while 40 percent had taken sexual pictures.

Dr. Mark McCormack, the researcher who carried out the interviews, claims taking gadgets into the bedroom has “potentially serious costs to relationships.”

Durex launched an online campaign on Wednesday, urging couples to avoid technology when with each other in the bedroom. Couples keen to know how their smartphones could make their sex lives more exciting were surprised to learn the answer is the ‘off’ button.

Businessman Ignores Sexy Woman Behind Him

“I feel like my priorities are not in the right place,” one survey volunteer said.

“You’re kind of cheating on me with Twitter,” one partner joked.

“I’m guilty, I think I’m addicted to it and I wish I wasn’t,” another volunteer admitted.

Speaking to RT, sex and relationships blogger Emily Yates said “Being online can be quite dangerous when it comes to balancing relaxation and relationships.

“Technology is great for keeping us connected, but it encourages a disconnection with others,” she added.

Yates claims it is essential to find a balance between virtual life and relationships, adding “smartphones and laptops must be switched off to engage with those around us.”

She suggests it is “more than possible” to be cyber smart and have a great sex life.

“Technology is destroying intimacy in our relationships,” adding the tech invasion is becoming “the new normal, but it shouldn’t,” Paul Levy, senior researcher at the University of Brighton, told the Mail Online.

As the quality of physical connections dilute over time, “we adjust, expecting less,” Levy says. “We forget what real romance is.”

Researchers at the University of Missouri interviewed hundreds of Facebook addicts, aged 18 to 82, whose partners claim the social network has increased conflict in their relationship.

The study revealed a rise in jealously in tandem with increased usage, leading to break-ups, divorce and cheating.

An Oxford University study of 24,000 married European couples discovered a strong link between the uses of smartphones and social media, and marital dissatisfaction.

It found the more couples read about others’ exciting lives via their smartphones on social media, the more likely they would feel disappointment about their own.

“True chemistry comes from intimacy,” suggesting technology can never replace human interaction, according the Siren dating app’ Susie Lee to the Mail Online.

“We really need to learn how to focus on each other in the bedroom, rather than on our smartphones or tablets,” she added.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O925jNVmpOQ#action=share

Curated by Erbe

Original Article

 

Why Messy Sex is Okay

by zfortadminin Sex

Over the last few years most public conversations about women and sex have focused on either the “He’s a stud; she’s a slut” double standard or, well, rape.

There’s no question as to whether these discussions should be taking place—they are essential to dismantling a culture overrun with sexual violence—but we lose something when negativity becomes the main lens through which we view female sexuality. We start seeing sex as an activity ripe for shame and harm, both physical and emotional. We also stop thinking about the joy.

Thankfully, there are some women out there committed to exploring the possibilities that lie ahead of us. These women are writing books and television shows that project a vision of sexuality that is truly for us, by us. Theirs is an eroticism that is stripped of that centuries-old sexism baggage—not to mention the female instinct to compare and contrast every detail of our intimate lives—and is just about us feeling good.

Dr. Emily Nagoski, author of the new book Come As You Are—yeah, that come—says that we’ve spent far too long talking about what kind of sex we are having, and how often we are having it, when we really need to be considering is what we actually like. “The thing we are not talking about enough is whether we are enjoying the sex we have,” she tells ELLE.com over the phone. “Not all sex feels good. Pleasure is not obvious. The more we focus on whether or not something feels good, the more we can transition to a more positive sexual experience for women.”

Nagoski says that one of the most important things for women to remember is that a satisfying sex life for one person does not necessarily a satisfying sex life for another make. We are all, hormonally, physiologically, and anatomically quite different, and we also evolve over time. Some women don’t experience spontaneous arousal, but end up getting really into it once things get going, while others have rich sexual fantasies and the urge to act on them. Both ways—and a myriad of others—can lead to fulfilling sex lives for women.

Hot young couple kissing outside on the stairs.

The one main mood killer getting in the way for women? Body hang-ups. And when we’re focused on how we look, we can’t let go and feel. “Your sexual response doesn’t just have a gas pedal, it also has a brake,” Nagoski says. When we start seeing ourselves from the outside, instead of feeling ourselves from the inside, the good feelings screech to a halt.

For Rachel Hills, author of the forthcoming book The Sex Myth, a better sexual future for women will only occur once we stop being labeled by our particular brand of sexuality. This means no more virgins, no more whores, and no more worrying about if we are too much of one or the other. “If this happens, it will open up possibilities for all of us,” she via phone. “We can have it or not have it, be kinky or totally vanilla. Overall, we can feel free to experiment because if this is not how people are [judging women], our sexual lives won’t be such a threat to our sense of self or how society views us.”

Indeed, efforts like the one to reclaim the word “slut,” well intentioned as they may be, still rely on the idea that sexuality is central to our identities. There are also limitations to our ability to redeem the phrase. For her new book, I Am Not a Slut, Leora Tanenbaum spoke to 55 young women and found that those who tried to take back “slut” ultimately had it backfire on them by way of social stigma. She argues that “in a culture where females are hypersexualized, embracing the word ‘slut’ does not seem like a radical protest. It seems like a capitulation.” (So much for SlutWalks, Rock the Slut Vote and Riot Grrl Kathleen Hanna’s famous cri de coeur by way of scrawling the word “slut” across her belly in lipstick, right?)

“MAYBE THIS SLUT IDEA IS TIRED ANYWAY.”

But maybe this slut idea is tired anyway. Like Nagoski and Hills explain, sexual liberation can’t just be about making it okay for women to have tons of intercourse. Instead, it should be about making it okay for women to have all sorts of sex in all sorts of quantities with all sorts of partners. Really, what does a being a slut even mean? We can do better than buying into either side of the slut mystique. And this is where I will endorse my contribution to a vision of a female sexuality we should be striving for: messy.

Hear me out.

Sexual messiness—the freedom to be neither prude nor slut, try things out, and not have one experience come to define you—is something women have been long denied. Messy means that we can love monogamy, except for that one time when we couldn’t help ourselves. Or, maybe, we are disciples of hook-up culture until that fine day when we meet Mr. or Mrs. right and never look away. Kinky? Corny? Idealist? So be it.

Messy means accepting that sex is often clumsy, that vaginas usually aren’t symmetrical, and that a roll on our bellies or some cellulite on our thighs will probably show up when we’re having a good time. Messy accepts that with good sex comes risk, emotional and physical, and that we can’t know until we try it. Messy makes room for the unpredictable, and allows for the eros of spontaneity to enter our bedrooms and bring us into the moment. It also makes room for uncertainty, mistakes, and occasional regrets—all parts of a healthy sex life and, when taking place in a non-violent atmosphere, a way for us to figure out what we like.

And, if you look for it, messy sex is kind of having a moment: On Girls, Hannah’s sex life is all about privileging exploration over perfection or relentless self-critique. On The Mindy Project, Dr. Lahiri has no problem speaking out about what she wants and doesn’t want between the sheets. The best example of this messiness, however, is Broad City, which, among its many other qualities, is a eulogy of sorts for the whole stupid Samantha/Charlotte, promiscuous/prude divide. Sure, Ilana is the show’s resident “Samantha,” except for the fact that she, despite her willingness to admit it, is involved in a pretty cute, and sexually fulfilling, monogamous relationship with Lincoln. Meanwhile, Abbi, the more conservative one, just pegged a dude on their first date.

It’s totally messy, completely f**ked up, and 100% right.

Curated by Karinna

Original Article

 

7 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Sexy

by Michael Warshauerin Sex, SEX TIPS

We’ll say it: After you’ve been with your S.O. for a fair amount of time, the glow wears off just a bit. You no longer feel like jumping him wherever there’s a flat surface and your sex life isn’t always super-steamy.

If you’re not careful, the word “monogamy” will eventually become synonymous with “ho-hum.” But, that doesn’t have to happen! There are totally ways to keep the fire o’ love burning for a very long while. The fine people at Men’s Health and Women’s Health have a few fabulous tips to make lust last in their “Big Book of Sex.” Here, we let you in on some of our favorites.

1. Rent a chick flick. Fun fact: Movies that are heavy on the romance raise levels of oxytocin, otherwise known as “the snuggle hormone.” A good rom-com will set the mood for a cozy, love-filled evening. Oh, and research from Kansas University shows that men love a good, sappy film, as well—not just the ladies. So, by all means, pop in “The Notebook!”

2. Don’t just say, “I love you.” It’s important to verbalize your feelings in other ways, too. A quick “Love you” as he’s headed out the door, or even before you hang up the phone, makes the phrase become a bit insignificant. Instead, show him your affection by using other words. Terms of endearment like “Honey” or “Sweetie” have the same connotation of affection. Also, let him know how much his gestures mean to you: “Thanks so much for filling up my gas tank yesterday. I really appreciated it.”

3. Change locations for making love. Mix it up. There is no designated area for getting it on, so why restrict yourself to the bedroom? Use the mirrors while getting hot and heavy in the bathroom, or even have a little outdoor sex—a whopping four out of five people surveyed said they’ve always wanted to try it. Um, what are y’all waiting for?

passionate young african couple kissing

4. Make out. Keep it simple and sweet, like you did when you were but a young teen. Restrict yourselves to 10 minutes of kissing only—with clothes on. Then, feel free to act more adult-like after you’ve set the mood. A hot make-out session will lead to even hotter sex.

5. Schedule sex. We’ve all been trained that you have to “be in the mood” to turn up the heat. That’s actually not true. Fooling around will get you in the mood, so feel free to set aside a place in your schedule just for you and your man. Everyone is busy, so it’s essential to create time for your sex life. It will keep you both happy and fulfilled.

6. Be open about your desires. A committed relationship is the one place you should be able to share your deepest secrets without fear of judgment or embarrassment. Have open conversations with your guy about any hot fantasies, let him do the same, then work together on making them happen. That way, you’ll both be satisfied between the sheets.

7. Have maintenance sex. It may sound less than appealing to get busy after a long day at work while the TV screams in the background, but frequent, run-of-the-mill sex is still that—sex. And it’s an important element for keeping the love alive. As Dr. Gina Ogden said: “This is the kind of sex that connects you and reaffirms your bond as a couple.” And that’s what you have to do, every day, to remain in love and in lust.

Curated by Erbe

Original Article

 

5 Ways Sex is Good For Your Health

by Michael Warshauerin Sex

There’s no denying that a good romp between the sheets feels great, but the good parts of sex extend beyond pleasure. Having regular sex has a number of health advantages, including lowering your risk of heart attack and easing away stress. So next time you and your significant other get the itch, just remember, it’s for your health!

1. Sex Helps Keep the Immune System Highly Active

Research has shown that People who have sex have higher levels of what defends your body against viruses, germs and other intruders. Researchers at university in Pennsylvania found that college students who had sex once or twice a week had higher levels of the a certain antibody compared to students who had sex less often.

2. Sex Lowers Your Blood Pressure

There are mountains of data emerged in studies that say that there is a link between sex and blood pressure. One landmark study found that sexual intercourse specifically lowered systolic blood pressure. reduces Heart

Lovers

3. Sex Reduces Your Risk of a Heart Attack

Having an active sex life is beneficial for your heart. It not only raises your heart rate in a good way, but it also sex helps keep your oestrogen and testosterone levels in balance. When either one of those is low you begin to get problems, like osteoporosis and even heart disease. During one study, men who had sex at least twice a week were half as likely to die of heart disease as men who had sex rarely.

4. Sex Improves Women’s Bladder Control

Doctors say that a strong pelvic floor is important for avoiding incontinence, a condition that is will affect 30% of women at some point in their lives. Good sex is more like a workout for your pelvic floor muscles. Having an orgasm causes contractions in those muscles, which strengthens them.

5. Sex Eases Stress

Touching and hugging can release the body’s natural feel-good hormone. Sexual arousal releases a brain chemical that revs up your brain’s pleasure and reward system. Also, sex and intimacy can boost your self-esteem and happiness. Another important factor is that being close to your partner can soothe stress and anxiety.

Curated by Erbe

Original Article 

The 12 Greatest Sex Symbols of the 20th Century

by Michael Warshauerin Sex

Everyone needs role models — people we can look up to and emulate such as world leaders, brain surgeons, architectural geniuses, mathematical wizards, artists, rocket scientists, writers … sex symbols.

Keeping up with Kim Kardashian’s naked body seems to be on everyone’s to-do list. (Why else would she pose in her birthday suit every other week if we didn’t LOOK?) Sex symbols are adorable. We have our favorites including Jessica Simpson, Kate Upton, Jennifer Lopez, Penelope Cruz and Gisele Bundchen, just to name a few.

For the record, we’re not just now discovering sex symbols. They’ve been around for centuries (most likely since 50 BC; think Cleopatra) so let’s take a look at some women who blazed the modern trail back in the 1950s, 60s and 70s when breasts became a national obsession and Playboy magazine was every man’s dirty little secret. Women have come a long way baby. BUT, men are still apparently driven by bosoms. So here are 12 original sex symbols we can thank for setting those booby traps (with one exception in the mix).

Marilyn Monroe
marilyn monroe sex symbol
Marilyn Monroe is an erotic-sex-symbol legend for good reason. Besides being featured in the inaugural issue of “Playboy” magazine, becoming their first “Sweetheart of the Month,” (changed to “Playmate of the Month thereafter) in the 1953 December issue of the (then) controversial magazine, the “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes” actress became the first serious “dumb blonde.” Monroe’s beauty and sensual persona created quite the stir when she sang “Happy Birthday, Mr. President” to President John F. Kennedy at a celebration for his 45th birthday. Check it out here. Shockingly, the “Some Like It Hot” actress died on Aug. 5, 1962 at the age of 36.

Jayne Mansfield
jayne mansfield
Jayne Mansfield, who became one of Hollywood’s original blonde bombshells, also played up the “dumb blonde” image and became known in some circles as the “working man’s Monroe.” The popular 1950s/1960s sex symbol enjoyed success on the Broadway stage (“Will Success Spoil Rock Hunter?”) as well as in Hollywood movies (“The Girl Can’t Help It”). Fun trivia: “Mansfield claimed a 41-inch bust line and a 22-inch waist when she made her Broadway debut in 1955… She was known as the Cleavage Queen.” Married three times with five children (actress Mariska Hargitay is her forth child), Mansfield sadly was killed in a car accident on June 29, 1967 at the age of 34.

Raquel Welch
raquel welch
Raquel Welch was among the most iconic sex symbols of the 60s and 70s, which put her on the top of some pretty sexy lists: According to Wikipedia “Welch was chosen byEmpire Magazine as one of the 100 Sexiest Stars in Film History. Playboy Magazine named Welch no. 3 on their 100 Sexiest Stars of the Twentieth Century list. In 2011,Men’s Health Magazine ranked her no. 2 in its Hottest Women of All Time list.” The 74-year-old actress still struts her stuff on red carpets, serving notice that women in their 70s still rock!

Brigitte Bardot
brigitte bardot
It’s hard to believe that Brigitte Bardot, the former “sex kitten,” is 80! The sensual French model, actress, singer and animal rights activist became a high-profile sex symbol in the 50s and 60s largely due to her first husband, director Roger Vadim (who would later marry Jane Fonda), who showcased her in the 1956 movie “And God Created Woman.” Although the marriage didn’t last, her career did for many years,until her retirement from the entertainment industry in 1973. Some actresses are immediately recognized by their first names. Bardot was known by her two initials: BB.

Lana Turner
lana turner
Actress Lana Turner’s sweaters should have had their own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. The “Imitation of Life” actress was one of the first well-known beauties who made a fashion statement by wearing a tight sweater to showcase her bust line, thus earning the nickname “the sweater girl” (a nickname she reportedly detested).Turner capitalized on her curvy figure throughout her career. She was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Actress for her role in the 1957 film, “Peyton Place.”

Gina Lollobrigida
gina lollobrigida
This Italian actress, who was one of the highest profile European actresses of the 50s and 60s, wasn’t afraid to show off her full figure when a film called for a voluptuous actress. The 87-year-old actress appeared in films with the likes of Yul Brenner, Frank Sinatra, Rock Hudson, Anthony Quinn and Burt Lancaster. Humphrey Bogart once said: “Gina makes Marilyn Monroe look like Shirley Temple.” Momma Mia!

Ann-Margret
actress ann margaret
Ann-Margret has been described as both the “girl next door” and “sex kitten.” The 73-year-old actress, singer and dancer is best known for her roles in “Bye Bye Birdie,” “Viva Las Vegas” (where she and Elvis tore up the screen with sex appeal!), “The Cincinnati Kid,” and for one of her most voluptuous roles, in “Carnal Knowledge.” So, how sexy was she? She was once described as the “female version of Elvis Presley.” The red-head from Valsjöbyn, Sweden always spoke with a soft, sexy, demur tone that defined her massive sex appeal. Check it out here.

Elizabeth Taylor
elizabeth taylor
Elizabeth Taylor became one of the most famous film actresses of all time and was considered one of the most beautiful women to ever grace the big screen. Her sex appeal didn’t go unnoticed in movies like “Cat On A Hot Tin Roof,” and “Cleopatra.” Taylor was somehow able to pull off a combination of the strong woman image mixed with her vivacious on-screen sex appeal.

Sophia Loren
sophia loren
Was there a man in this universe who didn’t drool at the sight of this Italian sex symbol in the 50s, 60s and beyond? Her soft Italian accent just fueled the sensual sparks she emitted on screen and off. Her hourglass figure didn’t hurt her image either, and her acting talent made her sexy persona even more enticing. Loren earned an Academy Award for Best Actress in 1962 for the film “Two Women.” The sexy octogenarian is 80 and single. Gentlemen, start your engines!

Jacqueline Bisset
jacqueline bisset
Wet t-shirt Alert. Just in case you’ve forgotten who started the wet t-shirt craze, look no further. After wooing audiences in the late 60s/early 70s with various film roles, Bisset decided it was time to grab some serious attention from American audiences by swimming underwater wearing only a t-shirt for a top in “The Deep,” helping to make the film a box office success. Producer Peter Guber reportedly said, “That t-shirt made me a rich man.” That little stunt led many to credit her with popularizing the wet t-shirt contest.”

Ursula Andress
ursula andress
Honey. Honey Ryder. 1962 was her year. The “Dr. No” actress became the first “Bond Girl” and made her wet bikini screen entrance a sight to behold in what “became aniconic moment in cinematic and fashion history when she rose out of the Caribbean Sea in a white bikini sporting a large diving knife on her hip.” The bikini never had a better introduction, and we’re betting the 78-year-old actress could still make waves.

Farrah Fawcett
farrah fawcett
Finally. It was all about the hair! No one in the history of entertainment was more famous for a head of hair than Farrah Fawcett. The “Charlie’s Angels” actress became a household name in 1976 after taking on the role of Jill Monroe in the hit ABC TV series. And then there was The Poster! Pro Arts Inc. pitched the idea of a FF poster to the star’s agent, and you know the rest of the story. That poster went on to become the best selling poster of its time, selling over 20 million copies. Now that’s one sexy angel.

Curated by Timothy

Original Article