zfortadmin, Author at Love TV - Page 29 of 50

Author: zfortadmin

Sleeping Nude… And All the Benefits for You

by zfortadminin Sex

Reportedly, when Hollywood actress Marilyn Monroe said that she wore just her favourite brand of perfume, when going to bed, the star was laughed at.

However, studies done in the recent past state that sleeping in the buff can do you a lot of good. It not only improves your health, but also works on the psychological level by improving your self-image and therefore, your relationship with your partner in bed. Wellness expert and relationship counsellor, Dr Sanjoy Mukerji explains that shedding clothes in bed is like shedding your inhibitions. “Usually, you declutter your mind by doing various things like meditation. Likewise, the body feels the need to be free. Nakedness in bed also harbours a positive psychosomatic effect. The reason to encourage couples to sleep naked is to increase the intimacy and openness due to nudity and the feeling of oneness.

The scientific reason to it is that our body releases certain chemicals which make our mind feel happy and romantic, leading to increased sexual intimacy,” he adds. The skin-to-skin contact also releases antidepressant hormones which help lift the mood. To add to the benefits, sleeping with no clothes on not only improves your love life, but also wards off infections, trims your waistline and makes you less exhausted. City-based sexologist, Dr Rajan Bhonsle agrees to the fact that wearing bare minimum clothes at night or going completely nude has its health benefits. “If a man wears very tight undergarments, there are chances of him experiencing a drop in his sperm count or a fall in libido or sexual arousal. For women, wearing tight lingerie can give rise to breathing issues and can also lead to fungal infections in genital areas,” he says. However, Dr S Ramnathan Iyer, a consultant physician of sleep medicine, warns that in India, people are not exposed to the benefits of sleeping naked as they are in the West. “I would advise people to take things one at a time. People who suffer from disorders like sleep-walking should avoid sleeping in the nude, as it may put them in an embarrassing situation,” he says. “To sleep naked or with loose-fitting clothes should be an individual’s choice as having a comfortable and conducive environment is of prime importance,” concludes Dr Iyer.

Health benefits of sleeping nude

Prevents insomnia

A recent Australian study concluded that a drop in core body temperature is needed to initiate sleep. The body pushes the heat out from the core like a radiator and releases it. Sleeping naked allows the heat to release more quickly, and helps you fall asleep faster.

Helps a deeper, longer sleep

The study also showed that the regulation of in-bed body temperature could significantly help in getting a deeper sleep for longer periods of time.

Fights off excess belly fat

Natural body cooling at night helps you lower your cortisol levels. A high level of cortisol stimulates your appetite for comfort foods leading to belly fat. Sleeping longer also increases the rate of metabolism that helps digest food better.

Better blood flow

The increase in circulation, along with not wearing tight-fitting clothes benefits the heart, muscles, and arteries as the oxygen-rich blood flows to your extremities.

Acts as an anti-ageing agent
Sleep triggers the release of growth hormones and melatonin, which are the most vital anti-ageing hormones. So, the more you sleep, the better it is. l

Improves self-esteem and acceptance

Theories suggest that the more time you spend in the nude, the more comfortable you feel in your skin. And the more comfortable you feel, the more confidently you’ll behave, making you happier and more attractive to others.

Boosts sex life

Skin-to-skin contact with your partner can boost the release of oxytocin in your body. Oxytocin is a powerful, feel-good hormone, which is needed for orgasm and sexual responsiveness, dealing with stress, and combating depression.

Wards off skin diseases

Airing out the skin all over your body, especially in areas like your feet, armpits, and genitals, means a lowered risk for skin diseases like athlete’s foot.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Why More Women Are Having Same Sex Relationships

by zfortadminin LOVE

Shedding new light on sexuality in U.S. adults under age 45, new research reveals women are almost three times as likely to report same-sex intimacy as men. And almost 7 percent say they’re gay or bisexual compared to 4 percent of men.

Although these numbers have inched up in recent years, researchers have long noted that women exhibit more flexibility in their sexual preferences than men.

The findings, based on surveys completed from 2011 to 2013, provide an up-to-date look at how this is playing out in younger people.

Stephanie Sanders, an associate director of the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction at Indiana University, said the findings point to another trend: more women describing themselves as bisexual.

Almost 6 percent of women surveyed voiced bisexual tendencies, compared to slightly more than 1 percent who said they were lesbian.

“As bisexuality is becoming more visible, it appears more women with bisexual behavior and attractions are embracing that label over a lesbian one,” said Sanders, who was not involved in the research.

The new report, released Jan. 7, was conducted by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s National Center for Health Statistics.

Researchers analyzed survey responses of nearly 9,200 women and men ages 18 to 44. This included people from Generation X, and Generation Y, or millennials.

By tracking sexual behavior, researchers say they can better comprehend risks for sexually transmitted diseases and HIV.

Some key findings in the report:

  • Among women, 17 percent reported having intimate same-sex contact in their lives, compared to 6 percent of men.
  • Slightly more men than women described themselves as gay — almost 2 percent versus 1.3 percent.
  • Six percent of women and 2 percent of men said they were bisexual. In a 2006-2010 survey, less than 4 percent of women and just over 1 percent of men identified as bisexual.

“The visibility and recognition of bisexuality as a sexual orientation has been growing recently, particularly among younger people,” Sanders said. “Research suggests that the women may have been more likely to label themselves as lesbians in the past and are more likely to use the bisexual label now.”

She praised the study but cautioned that the statistics may be somewhat misleading. For women, for example, the report defines same-sex intimacy as “any sexual experience of any kind with another female,” but same-sex intimacy for men was only defined as oral or anal sex.

“My research and that of others shows that people vary in what behaviors they count as sex,” she said.

Sanders also hinted that the report may hide the truth about male sexuality. “Male same-sex behavior has been more taboo, regulated and stigmatized than has that of women,” she said. “Men may be more reluctant than women to report same-sex behavior.”

Biology, of course, plays a role in sexuality. Studies of sexual arousal suggest that women tend to be turned on by more varied stimuli than men, said Brian Mustanski, an associate professor with the department of medical social sciences at Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine in Chicago.

“Surveys show that women tend to be more accepting of being gay and bisexual, and we certainly live in a culture that tends to eroticize the idea of sex between women,” said Mustanski, who had no role in the new study. “When you couple these factors with biological tendencies, it’s not surprising we see more bisexuality in women.”

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Sex, Food and the Priorities of the Male Brain

by zfortadminin Sex

Science has disproved that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach when researchers found that men’s need for sex can override his need for food.

Researchers from the University College London found that the male brain has specific neurons that can override the desire to eat for sex, according to their study published in the journal Nature. The researchers actually discovered this in the brains of nematode worms, but they believe human brains have those neurons as well.

The scientists used the Caenorhabditis elegans in their research. This worm species has two sexes: male and hermaphrodite. The hermaphrodites – in essence modified females – carry their own sperm and can reproduce asexually. The newly discovered brain cells, named by the researchers as MCMs or “mystery cells of the male,” only appear in males that are sexually mature.

The worms are conditioned to think that they could go hungry if salt was presented to them and learned to avoid the material as much as they could. However, if males are in the same vicinity of the females, even with the presence of salt, the male worms still seek out their mates.

This proved to the scientists that the desire to copulate was stronger than the threat of hunger for male worms.

“Though the work is carried out in a small worm, it nevertheless gives us a perspective that helps us appreciate and possibly understand the variety of human sexuality, sexual orientation and gender identification,” study co-author and professor Scott Emmons from the Albert Einstein College of Medicine said.

He added that, while it is yet to be proven true in humans, their findings imply the possibility that the human male brain may be wired differently from the human female, at least in this aspect.

“This may change how the two sexes perceive the world and their behavioral priorities,” Emmons said.

Interestingly enough, the female worms don’t express the same urge as they continue to avoid the salt at any cost, even if it meant avoiding potential mates.

The difference in behavior between sexes provided researchers with a better insight on how each gender perceived the priorities of their needs. In this situation, the males’ neural composition allowed them to prioritize sex in future situations.

“In the broader picture, it gets at this question of how do men and women think and behave differently,” said University College London researcher Richard Poole. “We always wonder, do we have different learning aptitudes or is it social, and in this case, it happens to be genetic.”

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Intelligent Men… Reasons Why They Are Sexually Attractive to You

by zfortadminin Sex

Do you find intelligent men attractive? Why?

1. When a woman is intelligent, she wants a man who can engage her intelligence.

2. Intelligent men don’t always talk about sex, they have much to talk about. A woman gets wowed by depth.

3. Women get attracted to a man who they can admire. An intelligent mind is admirable.

4. Deep sexual attraction starts in the mind, an intelligent man will get to the mind of an intelligent woman.

5. Intelligent men have proven they explore for knowledge, that is the same hunger and passion they will use in exploring the woman, her core and her body. She wants to be studied.

6. A woman is more than a sexual being; she is an intellectual, spiritual, social, creative and complicated being. An intelligent man taps into all that she is.

7. An intelligent man inspires growth. Women love being with a man who they can learn from or experience growth with. She will find herself drowning in the presence of such a man, with him as her man, she will melt in desire and the longing for adventure.

8. An intelligent man who is not full of pride is easy to work with, easy to hold conversations with. Women get turned on by intimate talks. Give her quality conversations and sexual intimacy will be heightened.

9. An intelligent man has grown himself to a point where his face, eyes and demeanour alone can speak. All he needs to do sometimes is give his woman a strong look and she will feel his intensely guarded sexual control and energy.

10. An intelligent man has a strong micro-climate around him. He walks in the room, the bedroom with confidence, his presence is felt, he is a strong spirit with a deep mind. He leans by his woman and she wants his chemistry surrounding her.

11. An intelligent and loving man describes her body in a mature way, he calls out her body. How he talks about her breasts, behind, thighs, smile, eyes and essence in such a sophisticated and studious way makes her blood boil. She surrenders to him because of his intense love that is expressed in such an intelligent and creative way.

Intelligence is about being grown mentally, whether or not you have a University Degree, Masters or PhD. It is about being wise, thinking higher thoughts, respecting all women, and elevating and valuing the one and only woman you love.

A woman finds a smart, grown, deep, knowledgeable, attentive and faithful man so sexy.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Stigma-Smigma… Why STD Specific Dating Sites Are Really Popular

by zfortadminin DATING ADVICE, LOVE

DATING can be difficult enough, but what about if you have a sexually transmitted infection?

Online dating has grown massively over the past few years and there’s a niche site to cater to pretty much every kinky fantasy under the sun.

But there’s a little-known sector that’s secretly thriving – dating sites for people with STDs.

Believe it or not the market is so popular that there’s tonnes of different sites out there. From STD Friends to Herpes Passions and HIV Mingle, there’s a whole host of websites for people with sexually transmitted infections looking for love.

Many have tongue-in-cheek taglines such as: “Stay positive! Find love, support and happiness” or “A seriously cool place to make friends with something in common”.

The most well-known of the sites is Positive Singles, which boasts that it’s the largest dating site and app for those with herpes, HPV, HIV, AIDs and Hepatitis.

It has the ease of Tinder, which is no doubt how it’s racked up more than 818,000 members across the world since its launch in 2001.

A recent survey revealed that most of it’s users are in their twenties and thirties.

Meanwhile, the site Date Positive lets users search for a partner according to which infection they have. Typically it’s free to join but members can pay to unlock advanced features.

Sexpert Brigitte Bard, founder of Sexual Health Revolution, Last Taboo and CEO of BioSure UK, said: “I believe websites which match people who are open about their STI status serve a really good purpose.

“They make people feel comfortable and safe when re-entering the dating scene. People I’ve spoken to say they provide hope for the future.

“For example, we must remember HIV is only three letters, not a sentence; so there is a whole life after diagnosis, even children.”

Unsurprisingly, the growth of STI-specific dating outlets goes hand-in-hand with the rising number of people getting diagnosed.

According to the American Sexual Health Association, more than half of all people will have an STD in their lifetime while the World Health Organisation says that roughly one million people catch an STI every day across the world.

In fact, herpes is one of the most common diseases in the world and it’s highly likely that you have it and don’t even realise.

A massive two thirds of the world’s population – more than 3.7billion people – under the age of 50 have herpes simplex virus type 1 (HSV-1).

The virus, also known as oral herpes, usually causes cold sores around the mouth.

But another 417 million people aged between 15 and 49 have the second type (HSV-2) which is best known as genital herpes.

And 90% of those who have the infection aren’t aware of it because it isn’t really screened for during general sexual health check-ups.

So it means you have to take it on yourself to make sure you get the all-clear.

Brigitte said: “If you think you have an STI, the most important thing is to get tested so you can get treated.

“This protects your own health and stops you passing the infection on to anyone else. The sooner treatment starts, the better the outcomes.

“You can get tested at any local sexual health clinic, some GP surgeries also offer testing services or alternatively if you can’t get to a clinic there are many self tests available now – but make sure they are CE marked so you know your result is accurate.”

If you’re still worried about your sexual health but don’t know who to talk to, here’s all of your most embarrassing questions answered.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Passionate Sex Every Day for The New Year—Here is How

by zfortadminin Sex

Three couples make the vow to relight their fires in January … but which of them can keep it?

MANY couples feel their sex life flagging after the festive season left them feeling tired, stressed, broke and overweight.

But the three here have made a New Year vow to relight their fires in January by making love every day.

DIANA APPLEYARD hears how they got it on, or not, during week one.

‘It’s passionate and wild and we both orgasm loudly before each collapsing in a heap’

HOUSEWIFE Heather Banks and her builder husband Wayne, both 39, have sons of six and four in Shepton Mallet, Somerset. Their busy life had seen them having sex weekly, if that. Here’s Heather’s take on their sexy 2016:

JAN 1: Both hung over, and I’m depressed about us both turning 40 this year and the fact I put on half a stone over Christmas. Wayne snuggles up to me to remind me of our pledge but I push him away. I feel fat and tired. But then I take a deep breath and pop open the top button of my nightie. That’s all Wayne needs and, as he buries his head in my breasts, I feel turned on. The act doesn’t last long but we feel much closer and later sleep in each other’s arms.

JAN 2: We are back on form, recovered from New Year. The kids are asleep by 8pm and, after a couple of glasses of wine, I go upstairs to get all dolled up, in sexy lingerie and full make-up. Wayne pulls out the sofa bed in the living room and, when I return, he is lying naked but for a giant foam finger protecting his modesty. I stifle a giggle then jump on him. There is not a lot of foreplay but it’s passionate and wild and we both orgasm loudly then each collapse in a satisfied heap.

JAN 3: Wayne makes dinner and I ask him to wear nothing but the apron. He’s got a great bum and treats me to a sexy dance. This time we focus on foreplay more. When we first got together, eight years ago, I impressed Wayne with my oral skills. Sadly, they got rusty. But tonight I’ve still got it. I pull tricks out of the bag from my student days, he’s groaning in ecstasy and I love the fact I can still turn him on. I pretend to be a porn star and my confidence grows. We have our best sex yet.

JAN 4: I am just not feeling it tonight. The kids go back to school tomorrow and, despite Wayne trying his hardest, I can’t stop my mind wandering. “Are the lunchboxes done? Did I set the alarm? Are the PE kits washed?” Wayne notices I’m distracted and it is made worse for both of us by the fact we’re trying to cut down on booze this month. We feel awkward. Eventually we have sex but it is an effort.

JAN 5: To get in the mood, we discuss other people who turn us on. Top for me is David Beckham, while Wayne astonishes me by saying he fancies Miranda Hart’s screen mum on her TV show. We also discuss fetishes that turn us on. We haven’t spoken like this for ages. The sex is great, fuelled by our fantasies.

JAN 6:Once Wayne’s on top of me and we really get going, I start talking dirty and it gets him even more aroused. I say things I’m going to do to him and what I want him to do to me. We both orgasm – then eat chocolate. Perfect.

JAN 7: Wayne comes home for lunch today, the kids are at school and . . . bingo! This week has put flirtation back in our marriage and I was sending him sexy texts all morning, teasing him about what I was going to do for him when he came home – and it did not involve shepherd’s pie. I even sent him pictures of sex toys I have ordered online. This is going to be quite a year.

— SHE SAYS: This has brought back the fun. We’ll definitely keep this up.

— HE SAYS: We’re back on track. But Heather is so kinky, I never know what she’ll suggest next. I’m excited but scared. I’ll just have to man up.

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Be Proud of Your Body During Sex

by zfortadminin Sex

Getting intimate is the high point of any relationship and the feeling after a good sexual encounter is what makes the moment even more beautiful.

But are we body positive and do we feel nice after an enjoyable act? We decode why it is important to feel good about your body and how it’s perfectly fine if you keep the lights on during the act.

Are you body positive?

The fact that you feel good about your body, despite its flaws is important. Stand in front of the mirror with nothing on, and make sure you look at your body very closely. See how you feel to know the answer. Factors that determine body positive sex

Unconditional love

It’s all about looking at each other beyond the physical, mental and social parameters. Mira Nehra, a relationship counsellor, says, “It is about making sure both the partners experience extreme pleasure while having sex, in spite of the several imperfections they have.”

Acceptance

With love comes acceptance. The fact that you know your partner has certain flaws and you still love him/her, determines body positive sex. Psychologist Raina Gopichand, feels that acceptance of one’s body is the biggest achievement in life. “We always strive to look our best. Hence, loving yourself is something that each one of us should practise. It helps us improve our confidence and the quality of our relationships, especially the quality of sex,” she adds.

Enjoying the act

If both the partners thoroughly enjoy lovemaking, then there is absolutely no scope of feeling awkward about their bodies. It is important to make each other feel comfortable while having sex. Foreplay is an important aspect here. Exploring each other’s body before the act helps you get into the comfort zone. “If both the partners derive immense pleasure while having sex, it does not leave a scope to find faults. In fact, it is not just about people who have imperfect bodies; it is about each one of us who aspire to have the perfect body to enjoy sex. Intimacy is not all about your body shape, it’s about how you feel during the act,” says sexologist Dr Rajan Bhonsle.

What is the movement about

This online movement hopes to convey what it means to be healthy. The movement also reinstates that body acceptance is not just about losing weight. It challenges stereotypes of what larger bodies can accomplish and that body acceptance is the recognition and celebration of your body.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

The Worst Relationship Betrayal… Not What You Think

by zfortadminin Mind

3 patterns that form a slow, steady drip of betrayal that might signal the end more surely than another lover.

Pretty much everyone who is in a committed relationship agrees that if they found out their partner had sex, even once, with someone else it would be a challenge to move past it and stay together. That’s the big one-event shake up that most people assume is the beginning of the end if not the mile marker for the end itself.

Everyone needs to withdraw and unplug but don’t retreat in order to get even. Hurting someone emotionally always leaves a mark.

While both of us would be nonplussed if the other had an affair or one-night-stand, there are three patterns that we’ve even fallen prey to that we know could be (almost) silent killers for us and probably any other couple.

Withholding Attention

You’ve heard about “ghosting” right? Pretty extreme and most people wouldn’t dream of doing it to the love of their life, and most of us would notice pretty quickly if we were being ghosted.

But there are so many ways of withholding attention that aren’t even intentional. Preoccupation – you know, like with your phone, or the television (we don’t have one of those, but the internet is a close runner up.) Or maybe just preoccupation with your own thoughts – we’re both prone to getting lost in our heads, in the clouds, or in time. Or shutting down – crawling into the shell of self to process, to stew, to ponder, or just to hang out and relax.

Even if it’s not intended to hurt, when you withhold your attention from your partner, your lover, that person who is in your life because they get off on being with you, you’re committing a “micro-aggression” toward that thing that keeps you together.

And if you are withholding attention as a way to prove a point, or strike back, stop that right now. Everyone needs to withdraw and unplug but don’t retreat in order to get even. Hurting someone emotionally always leaves a mark.

Withholding Trust

Everyone brings past relationships into the current dynamic. Whether those relationships were with spouses, lovers, friends, siblings, parents, authority figures, or the Grinch next door, they create patterns of trust, and lack of it.

Deciding to withhold trust is one of the deepest betrayals you can inflict on a partner.

None of those patterns are about your partner, but they certainly affect your partner. We’ve navigated land mines and dungeons of trigger wires and green-eyed monsters until we can guess when something is a “this is about me not you” kind of thing, but when either of us senses a lack of trust it can still range all the way from a minor road bump to a steep hill.

But if you’re withholding your trust for a reason, justified or not, a shifting of boundaries or treating a partner with suspicion is always going to result in tension. Deciding to withhold trust is one of the deepest betrayals you can inflict on a partner. It puts up a wall, and reflects their worst traits back at them. No relationship, however loving, can survive that for very long.

Withholding Intimacy

Intimacy isn’t going through the motions. And it isn’t (always) a romantic performance or expectation. Intimacy is meeting on the same, shared plane of experience. On purpose.

Physical intimacy is important to a romantic partnership. Actually, for us anyway, it’s vital. It’s not just about sex, that’s only one of many ways we physically demonstrate our love for each other. But there is nothing wrong with saying that sexual intimacy is a cornerstone of our physical intimacy.  But emotional intimacy is even more important. Without that the physical or sexual intimacy is just “off.” We’re not really in it together if there is an emotional barrier between us.

… if either of us ever withheld intimacy … or if we ever displaced that intimacy usually reserved for each other onto another person, it’s likely that we would cause wounds that would take a long time to heal …

It’s perfectly natural that there are times one or both of us will just need to be left alone. For one thing, we’re both introverts (highly social, but definitely introverts.) For another thing, we’re human. So it’s going to happen.

But if either of us ever withheld intimacy — of any kind — not from our own need for personal time and space, but as a tactic or punishment, or if we ever displaced that intimacy usually reserved for each other onto another person, it’s likely that we would cause wounds that would take a long time to heal – if they ever did. We both have intimate friends, but those friends never come first for either us. First is always reserved just for each other.

◊♦◊

None of these patterns are the instant end game that a sexual fling might be, but they are all slow, steady drips of betrayal that eventually erode even the strongest relationship.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Better Sex After Childbirth

by zfortadminin Sex

A study of 1,118 couples with children showed that 94 percent said they were satisfied with their sex lives and nearly 60 percent said that it actually got better after childbirth.

London: Resuming sex with your partner after childbirth may be a matter of two months on an average but when passion does return to the bedroom again, it comes with a new vigour, enabling couples to enjoy the act of lovemaking more, new research suggests.

A study of 1,118 couples with children showed that 94 percent said they were satisfied with their sex lives and nearly 60 percent said that it actually got better after childbirth.

But new parents on an average wait for about 58 days before they resume sex with their partner, according to the study.

Although most women fear that their partner would not find them attractive after childbirth, the findings of the survey conducted by Britain-based parenting site Channel Mum showed that men actually prefer their partner’s post-birth figure as it is more curvy and fuller.

Just 14 per cent of new mothers feel body confident after giving birth, Daily Mail reported citing the study.

“Having a baby is the biggest change you can bring into a relationship, so it is wonderful to see it can bring couples closer together rather than drive them apart,” Siobhan Freegard, founder of Channel Mum, was quoted as saying.

The research, however, showed that men are more keen to have sex after the wait than women.

While fathers want sex twice a week on average, mothers remain content with sex just once a week.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

How Healthy is Masturbation. Can it Make a Difference to Your Sex Life?

by zfortadminin Sex

It’s a really healthy thing. It releases great endorphins and chemicals into our bodies that help us to feel happier, to feel more creative, to feel braver. It lifts depression and helps with headaches and period cramps.

Smith said masturbation is an important way for women to learn about their own bodies and what they enjoy. She encouraged women to “relax into self love”.

“Carve out a little bit of time and prioritise this because it affects your health, your mental wellbeing and your relationships, both with yourself and with others,” she said. “It’s a really important thing, yet it comes last on our list when we’re knackered and we’ve fallen into bed.”

Smith joined physiotherapist Maeve Whelan, who specialises in women’s health at Milltown Physiotherapy in Dublin, for a conversation about painful sex, the importance of pelvic floor muscles and what all women can do to improve their sex lives.

According to Whelan, there are a number of physiological and emotional reasons women might experience pain during sex.

Smith said: “I don’t know of many women who have an issue with pain that they can do nothing about.”

Also in the sex episode, a discussion about how Irish cultural, educational and social history has shaped women’s sex lives.

Joining that discussion were Dr Mel Duffy, head of the only master’s degree programme in sexuality studies in the country at Dublin City University; Shawna Scott, owner of Sex Siopa, Ireland’s health and design-focused online sex shop; and Hot Press sex columnist Anne Sexton.

According to Sexton, some of the “cultural and economic reasons for prudery and repression” include the country’s Victorian roots, the famine’s strain on the population and the Catholic Church.

The panel also talked about the lack of quality sex education for young people.

“On the one hand, there’s an incredibly massive, overwhelming porn culture which all young people have some experience of. And on the other hand, you have this culture of horrific stories of abuse. There are very few positive messages about sex, and that’s really worrying,” Sexton said.

Also in the podcast, sexual intimacy therapist and Irish Times advice columnist Trish Murphy discussed common sex problems she encounters in her practice and what people can do about them.

The Women’s Podcast question of the week is: Are you making New Years resolutions? If so, what are they? If not, why not?

Listeners are invited to tweet their answers to the question of the week @ITWomensPodcast, post to our Facebook page or email thewomenspodcast@irishtimes.com.

Individual episodes of the podcast are available on Soundcloud, iTunes, Stitcher and on irishtimes.com.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

China Opens Up to Families This Year

by zfortadminin RELATIONSHIPS

The new two-child policy, approved by the national legislature in December, allows couples to have two children from January 1.

Couples in China are now allowed to have two children as the new family planning law came into effect from Friday.

Couples in China are now allowed to have two children as the new family planning law came into effect from Friday, ending the world’s most populous country’s controversial one-child policy amid concerns over an ageing population and shrinking workforce.

The new two-child policy, which was announced by the ruling Communist Party in October and approved by the national legislature in late December, allows couples to have two children from January 1.

“It is worth noting how people’s lives will be affected,” state-run Xinhua news agency said in its report.

The one-child policy, which was implemented from 1978 and restricted most couples to only a single child through a system of fines for violators and even forced abortions, was credited to have prevented over 400 million births restricting the population to over 1.357 billion as per census held in 2013.

The three-decade-old policy was changed as demographic crisis deepened with sharp rise in population of old-age people and shrinking workforce in the world’s second largest economy.

According to latest figures, the number of people aged 60 or over in China has reached 212 million at the end of 2014, accounting for 15.5 per cent of the country’s population, with the number of disabled elderly people approaching 40 million.

The United Nations has predicted that people over age 65 will account for 18 per cent of China’s population by 2030, double the number in 2011 which will have a negative bearing on China’s labour availability.

By 2050, China is expected to have nearly 500 million people over 60, exceeding the population of the US.

However, recent official surveys said that despite massive publicity to the lifting of the one-child policy, the two children rule has evoked less enthusiasm among 100 million couples who are eligible to have second child as they are not keen due to heavy costs involved in bringing up another baby.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Technology …Can It Make Intimacy Better or Not?

by zfortadminin LOVE

Sure, a haptic sex toy-facilitated romp with a long-distance lover might keep a relationship alive, but technology can create forms of intimacy beyond simulated sex.

The most groundbreaking user interfaces developed over the next several decades will likely provide us with new opportunities to interact with each other in artificially immediate ways. Access to each other’s bodies may pale in comparison to access to each other’s memories, emotions, and experiences.

Shared thoughts will never replace shared fluids, but these emerging technologies just might provide something more shockingly visceral.

The Mind Reader

Is there anything more intimate than getting into someone’s head? Sure, mind reading could be intrusive to a fault — Kylo Ren’s use of the Force is borderline rapey — but relationships are all about making those deep mental connections with consent. And there are new technologies being developed that could soon make mental communication a lot easier. Take BrainGate, a system that can translate brain waves directly into actions without having to be translated through language or the body — mediums that, more often than not, just introduce noise. Could transmission of pure thought between partners be next?

The Mind-Gasms

The future of brain-based intimacy largely rests on the fact that sex is a mental exercise. Orgasms manifest in the brain through a release of oxytocin in the hypothalamus and the activation of the nucleus accumbens, the brain’s pleasure center. Rolling with this idea, futurist Scott O’Brien has suggested that we could someday stimulate those brain areas directly using neural-based headsets, producing orgasms without the burden of bodies. It isn’t a new idea — remember that infamously uncomfortable brain-sex session in Demolition Man? We’re getting closer to making than an uncomfortable reality.

The Long-Distance Heartbeat

A lot of work has gone into simulating sex, but little has been done about recreating the comforts of the afterglow. A device called Pillow Talk might be the first step: Through pulse-monitoring wristbands and pillow-embedded speakers, the device lets long-distance lovers fall asleep to the sound of their partner’s heartbeat. “By sharing something so intimate with each other,” as the project developers describe on their Kickstarter campaign page, “you can feel connected in a unique and special way.”

The Sounds of Love

A Japanese sound artist known as Rory Viner has attempted to recreate the sensation of sex aurally by turning bodies into instruments. By tracking his and his partner’s movements during sex using piezoelectric sensors then channeling the data through an interface that translated motion into music, he composed his coital opus, “Sex, Sensors, and Sound.” While it’s never really comfortable to hear the sounds of someone else’s lovemaking (though the 42,000 hits his experiment has racked up would suggest otherwise), creating — and replaying — those you make with your own partner could foster a new kind of art-based intimacy.

The WhisperA

The autonomous sensory meridian response has turned into a YouTube phenomenon, thanks to the millions of viewers who tune in to intimate videos of people doing and saying mundane things — like folding towels or wiping glass — to trigger a pleasant tingling at the back of the head, scalp, or neck. The phenomenon isn’t well understood (or universally accepted as a scientific reality), but its effects are known as “brain orgasms” for a reason: It triggers a sense of pleasure that has little to do with physical sex and everything to do with hacking the brain. (Of course, this hasn’t stopped ASMR from making the controversial crossover into erotica, giving viewers a sensational double-whammy.)

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

How to Approach Mind, Body, Sex for Women

by zfortadminin Mind, Sex

“Tantra refers to this step [of re-directing sexual energy through relaxation instead of tension] as placing a foot on the first step of the ladder of growth.” Richardson

Why does it usually seem that our spiritual practices are so separate from our sexual behavior? In the interest of body-mind integration, BoBuReview checks out a non-Buddhist book on sexual tantra, or tantra yoga, to see if and/or where there are any lines of convergence between our upper and lower charkas.

TantraIf we follow Buddhism’s middle way, we know the wisdom of avoiding extremes. Over-indulgence in sex will not help us on the path to realization. But neither will pretending we don’t have bodies, or trying to repress/deny/ignore our sexuality. We need to work intelligently with our vital energy – thigles, in Tibetan – otherwise practice can become dry, dull, or overly intellectual. And to be frank, most of us could use some sexual healing.

For practitioners especially, the more we understand our sexuality, the more likely we are to channel it into spiritually-productive pathways. As author Diana Richardson says, “As prevalent as sex is, it is a rare person who has discovered a way to derive full satisfaction or a loving heart from its practice.” Ms. Richardson is rather like a tantric goddess who has come to give us some much-needed sexual instruction, but from a spiritual perspective.

Diana Richardson is dynamically unembarrassed about sex, as well as learned in healthy ways of using it to open our hearts and enhance awareness. She describes the ascending and descending phases of sexual energy; the spiritual path emphasizes the former, while the biological emphasizes the latter.

“Tantra refers to this step [of re-directing sexual energy through relaxation instead of tension] as placing a foot on the first step of the ladder of growth.” Richardson claims that our tendency of “goal-orientation,” making sex into another item on our already-full To Do list, results in haste, which “effectively and seriously” represses our sexual energy. In this regard, Richardson’s book is a stand-in for a sex therapist who would first remind us to reclaim our sexuality before we can use tantra to transform it. “We only know how to ‘do’ in love, and not how to ‘be’ in love.”

Richardson gives many specific practices to counteract our cultural uncomfortability with sex. “In the Western world . . . we keep busy to avoid facing the insecurities or anxieties we may feel about love and intimacy.” Even more relevant may be her insight that sexual tension “lives on as frustrated desire [lung, in Tibetan], that accumulates with time and is continually seeking release.” (And, needless to say, ends up being a destructive force in our lives if left unhealed.)

Yet, when we “validate sexuality by incorporating consciousness . . . we discover sex to be a [natural] healing spiritual force.” Contrary to ordinary sexual attraction, which tends to decrease over time, Richardson states that with tantra, “attraction increases [as] the sexual experience gets finer and finer.”

One of the more surprising statements she makes, based on years of study, practice, and counseling her own clients, is that Tantra’s “positive poles of love” are the male organ and the female breasts. “These two polarities must be drawn into love-making in order to avoid great dissatisfaction in sex.”

Diana Richardson claims that real female kundalini energy “lies not at the spinal base . . . but in the breasts.” She elaborates on her findings in a thought-provoking section on generating sexual energy through polarity. “Making love in this way, utilizing polarity, begins the process of establishing a powerful energy field between and within two bodies. Bio-electricity flowing within the magnetic field follows a spiral path . . . the kundalini energy, located at the base of the male spine.”

“The Heart of Tantric Sex” makes it clear that when the breasts (and thus the heart) of a woman “are fully resonant, this snake [of kundalini energy] will implode, gracefully unwinding and giving way within.” Which might result in what many people are looking for with coitus, i.e., the best sex ever.

Improved gender relations involve a return to true masculine-feminine polarity, not as dominant-submissive, but as attractive opposite forces that complement each other. “Falling into balance through this intrinsic polarity creates harmony, understanding, respect, and mutual appreciation.”

For those on the path who are in loving relationships, the art of sexual tantra (as opposed to deity practice) is the “union of sex and meditation . . . awareness transforms sex into love.” While I’m not sure there is such a thing as easy sex magic, Richardson writes like a tantric dakini who wants us to share in the joys of sacred sex.

“Tantra roots the consciousness in the body and uses it as a constant reference point, enabling us to stay increasingly in the present moment . . . Indeed [since] the body is the only thing that exists in the present moment, learning to live through the body increases our chances of overall happiness.”

Even though everyone presumably enjoys orgasm, if not multiple orgasms, obviously tantric love-making isn’t for everyone. It requires that we take the time to be still and drop our agendas and allow our emotions, tears as well as laughter, to come to the surface. All of which can be very unsettling for the ego – and precisely why it can be good for spiritual practice.

As an expert in tantra techniques, Richardson is an unapologetic crusader for a return to “a sense of uncontrived aliveness in the body, which is as essential to the act of meditation as it is to making love.”

She outlines a series of exercises, including tantric massage, to enhance this aliveness, from using our breathing as a bridge between mind/thinking and body/feeling, to deep, open-eyed gazing between partners to increase emotional connection, to communicating how we’re feeling in the present moment, including during the act of sex.

“The more the mask of the personality is challenged and dissolved, the deeper the experience of Tantric union.”

If we can question our sexual conditioning and reframe sex as a support for our spiritual practice, incorporating some of Richardson’s tantric lovemaking ideas, we may be able to transform ordinary desire into a rare and delightful fuel on the path to awakening for the benefit of all sentient beings.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

How Hormones Affect Your Intimate Life

by zfortadminin Mind

It’s almost Valentine’s Day and love is in the air. We all love the feeling of being in love and the excitement that goes along with new relationships and new beginnings.

The real question is ‘how do we find ways to keep the warm fuzzies alive 10 years down the road or even 20 years or longer?’

When we first meet someone that we really like, our brain first produces those hormones that make us feel what we could call lust. The levels of Testosterone for men and Estradiol for women are greatly increased. This is a primitive physical reaction to assist us in procreating but not what leads to longer term connections.

If we really like someone and we move to being in the attraction phase (and not just in the sexual sense), a huge amount of a neurochemical called Dopamine is produced in the brain as well as adrenaline. Adrenaline is responsible for the classic racing heart rate and sweaty palms that occurs when you see that person that you are newly enamored with. Dopamine is the other hormone that is released during this phase and it is a hormone that causes intense happiness. Dopamine causes increased energy, less need for sleep or food, intense focus and incredible delight at the smallest details of this new and exciting relationship. Sound familiar? This is the fun stuff we all love when we first meet someone and wish we could maintain forever.

The next phase of our relationships is called attachment and this is the part where we want to get married and have babies and form long lasting bonds. The hormone that creates the desire to bond and nurture is mainly oxytocin. This hormone is mainly known for its link to nursing mothers and maternal child bonding, but it is also released after orgasm in both men and women. This is one reason that we often feel closer to our partner after sex and this helps to strengthen the bond.

Now we are back to the question of how to maintain healthy intimacy and closeness in a long-term relationship. We need to look at these different phases and try to keep them alive. Our hormones need to be balanced and normal for us to continue having healthy sexual feelings toward our lover. We need to keep the spark alive by creating newness and time for romance if we want to have that happy dopamine release. Lastly, we need to maintain intimacy on both a physical and emotional level to create lasting bonds and lots of oxytocin. Talking and sharing deep personal thoughts has been shown to deepen the bonds we feel to our partners and create more feelings of love. Maybe we just need to remember to make our relationships more of a priority and less of an afterthought and maybe we need to change our ideas of what love and relationships should be. That initial rush is great, but it is great to feel that deep bond with someone after you have shared children, heartache and all of life’s ups and downs. That is what real love feels like.

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Original Article

How Your Brain Falls in Love

by zfortadminin LOVE

They don’t call love a drug for nothing. When we fall for someone, our brains release a cocktail of chemicals, creating feelings of euphoria and pleasure and (if all goes well) closeness and comfort.

That complex organ inside our head is hardwired to want love and keep love at all costs—a response that has been crucial to the survival of our species.

Curious what that hardwiring looks like? Here’s what happens in your brain at six stages of romantic love.

1. First attraction: Call me maybe*

Say you develop a crush on your neighbor. Every time you think about this person, you feel giddy—you feel really good. What’s happening? The neurons in your brain are releasing dopamine, a feel-good hormone and neurotransmitter associated with euphoria (as well as gambling and drug addiction). And because your brain wants you to keep pursuing this feeling, like a little love-carrot, it fires off more dopamine every time you think about the crush.

2. Early courtship: You really got me

Notice how whenever you really like someone you get nervous before a date? Your palms sweat, your heart races, and you can practically feel the adrenaline surging through your body? Well, that’s because it is. In the early throes of a romantic relationship, your brain sends a signal to the adrenal gland (located on top of the kidneys) to pump out the chemicals adrenaline, epinephrine, and norepinephrine, giving you a rush of excitement.

Norepinephrine is especially key. Like dopamine, it makes us feel good—but it also makes us feel infatuated and obsessed. It’s our brain’s way of saying: keep going.

3. The fall: Addicted to love

Now you’re hooked. Suddenly you want to be around this person every minute of every day. Why? Studies (particularly the work of anthropologist Helen Fisher) have shown that the same part of your brain that activates when you’re addicted to cocaine activates when you’re in love. It’s called the limbic reward system.

Basically, your brain has decided that love is essential and wants more. From an evolutionary standpoint, this response developed to help us procreate, then raise offspring together. Did you know the love drive is stronger than the sex drive?

During this phase, the limbic system continues to release dopamine, which acts as a feel-good electrical current and keeps you craving the person you love. When the object of your desire is not around, you may feel like you’re in withdrawal, motivating you to see him or her again. As with any drug, however, the high has diminishing returns—which is why, after a few months, the rush can weaken and people fall out of love. Unless, of course, they’ve become attached.

4. The rose-colored glasses: You are so beautiful

What flaws? While falling in love, we often ignore red flags that our friends see loud and clear. That’s because—while other parts of the limbic reward system are lighting up like a Christmas tree—the amygdala decides to shut down, according to brain scans, taking our good judgment with it.

The amygdala, a set of neurons located in the temporal lobe, plays a big role in how we react to stimuli. It’s key to making judgment calls, recognizing fearful situations, and can even decipher when someone is lying to us. When people are in love, however, the amygdala takes a little nap—which clouds judgment and causes the enamored to see his or her beloved through rose-colored glasses.

5. Attachment: Only wanna be with you

You’ve bonded. As we spend time with the object of our affection, our brains start to release oxytocin, nicknamed “the love hormone.” This neuropeptide is produced in the hypothalamus and released into our brains during times of intimacy—when mothers breastfeed their babies, for example, or when we orgasm. Studies have shown that oxytocin is key to fostering trust and commitment. Unlike the quick high of dopamine, oxytocin is subtler and sticks around longer, leading to a deeper attachment.

6. Deep attachment: Never gonna give you up

Over time love can, of course, develop into deep companionship. When two people have been committed to each other for years, their brains show increased activity in the ventral pallidum.

This region of the brain is rich with oxytocin and vasopressin receptors—two chemicals associated with monogamy and deep attachment—which, according to work by Helen Fisher, explains why it lights up when people experience long-term attachment. It’s the same region of the brain that activates in monogamous prairie voles, who mate for life.

Brain scans show that the limbic reward system remains active during deep attachment as well—meaning couples in this stage experience the rush of early courtship along with deep attachment. Love is great.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article