The awkwardness and discomfort most people feel after casual sex literally makes my point here because you KNOW that was an intimate experience despite your lack of emotional presence.

Now let’s talk a little bit about some of the physical aspects of  casual sex that present themselves as forms of “sexual dysfunction” like premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction.   I’m starting with the guys first for a change, and because the blog I wrote about the vulnerability and wisdom of the vaginahas the ladies covered on this.    All the science talks about stress and performance anxiety and all those mental pieces that go into affecting a man’s erection or his ability to sustain it without coming too quickly. But what about the part of the man on the consciousness level that actually understands that engaging with another human being sexually is a powerful and important event?   The body never lies. It speaks the truth on so many levels about so many things. I truly believe that in many cases when a man is unable to sustain an erection or is a premature ejaculator, he just doesn’t want to be with that woman. And his body knows that and won’t cooperate.  What you’re looking for guys, is a heart-on and when you choose women not aligned with that desire, you can’t get it up, keep it up, or you just come quickly.  You body is trying to keep you from betraying a deeper part of your nature, one that society conveniently likes to leave out as it defines masculinity for you.

I also believe that men in many ways have more sensitive hearts than women,(more on that in another post) and I err on the side of believing in you guys and holding you to higher standards than perhaps society does (or you do yourself.)

In the case of premature ejaculation I like to think it’s kind of like ” I don’t really want to be here so let me hurry up and get it over with” kind of a feeling. I know that sometimes there’s a sense of worry when a guy is with someone who he really does want to be with, but then you’re back to YOU on that one. How are you feeling about yourself in general? What’s your self-worth quotient?

These days it seems that everyone requires science in order quantify or arrive at “truth,” but I really believe that our bodies are the greatest repositories of wisdom teachings that we have and all we have to do is listen to the messages that are constantly emanating from them.

Sex is never casual, it is a powerful and important part of our lives and we should treat it that way.  There are electromagnetic currents that run through our genitals when we have sex and when the pathways are aligned and open, sex becomes sacred and alchemical.  For that alignment and openness to exist there must be a heart connection, intimacy, vulnerability, trust and surrender.  For those of you who think that’s too new-agey, there’s science behind that, and Tantra is founded on these ancient truths.