When Partners Refuse to Better Themselves

You can’t dictate your partner’s life.

You want what’s best for them, but sometimes that may not line up with what they decide to do with themselves. Ultimately, they are their own person, and sometimes you have no control over their decisions.

My Experience

I dated someone once who didn’t want to better himself at all. He was comfortable having no ambition, smoking weed and drinking all the time, and working dead end jobs. Believe me, I do not judge for any of that, but the fact that he was a grown adult happy with spending all of his money on liquor and dropping out of college was concerning to me. I wanted to be with someone that I could relate to, and maintain similar desires. He was unhappy, but didn’t want to change.

I encouraged him to go back to school. He said that he would, but didn’t put the effort into applying. I begged him to cut back on drinking, but he continued to drink a lot. He just wanted to get wasted and high all the time. The floor of his room would always be covered in beer cans and weed resin. I didn’t want to live that life.

Not to mention the fact that he cheated on me. He told me after it happened and immediately started crying. He promised to change and never do it again. After that, every party we went to ended up with him making out with multiple people. I wasn’t surprised. A few months passed before he broke up with me.

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When Partners Refuse to Better Themselves

About The Author
- is a writer and performer based in New York City. Her work has been featured on Funny or Die, Monologue Blogger, Flash Zine, and Rue Morgue, among others. She graduates from Hunter College in Winter 2016.