2. Abstinence is not deprivation: The first thought to cross the mind of people when abstinence is mentioned is deprivation. This is not true. Deprivation is a deliberate and continuous denial of sexual intimacy. Abstinence on the other hand gives room for other forms of intimacy such as emotional, intellectual, spiritual and experiential intimacy to nurture relationship. In our world today, intimacy is hastily viewed in sexual lens but it is deeper than that. When you stay away from the bedroom, it gives you room to explore other forms of intimacy such as sharing and appreciating your partner’s intellect and emotion.
It improves your communication level and builds a stronger and deeper connection. Simple acts like going to cinema together, appreciating a work of art, discussing your business potential and even differing attitudes towards money, helping out in daily chores, taking a stroll in the evening just holding hands and sharing a kiss or two, are ways that can strengthen your relationship with your partner.
3. Abstinence is for a short period: Another distinguishing fact between abstinence and deprivation is the duration. While deprivation could run into months or years, abstinence is just for a limited time depending on the couple. It should never exceed 10 days, unless one is on a spiritual task. In this period of waiting, ensure that you spend quality time together by doing things you like and are interested in. But please if the urge is too hard to resist, by all means break it. It is better to break it than to give in to the wild temptation outside marriage.
With this understanding, it should be easy to embark on abstinence, knowing that at the end of the day, the result will be positive on your marriage. Like every other thing in life, excesses often lead to abuse. So let there be a time of joining and also separation to strike the right balance in your marriage. Abstinence inadvertently helps your sexual life.
Perhaps the ultimate gift one gets from abstinence is trust. When you and your partner decide to abstain from sex knowing that you do not yield to temptation outside your marriage, it shows the trust you have for each other. It gives you confidence that your partner is willing to hold on for a while without yielding to temptations. It deepens your appreciation of the love you share.
Remember intimacy is not only about sex and abstinence is not deprivation but a healthy practice to a long lasting relationship.
Curated by Erbe