For readers who aren’t lucky enough to take your class, do you have any quick-fix tips? Specifically: how to own your feminine power, both in the bedroom and in daily life?
“his is an exercise I teach my students:
“Walk around the room as if you own the space. Imagine this place is yours – everyone and everything around you is only there to please you. Walk down the street imagining yourself as the center of the universe. When you do this, you will be! Remember, you are the center of everything. You only have your point of view, so everything you see is an invention of your perspective. So, to feel more confident: walk through the grocery store as if you own it. Cross the street like everyone is there to see you. Pretend you own the place, and soon you will.
Change it up.
“I would encourage people to try different clothing. Coming from an actor’s point of view, clothing has a lot to do with how a character feels. I can try on one outfit and feel awesome, then change my clothes and I’m suddenly frumpy. Some things look great, some things look like this, and some clothes are totally out of your comfort zone. I challenge you to try everything. Just for shits and giggles – try something you would normally be too afraid to wear. People do this on Halloween, why save it for just one day a year? Wear that pair of shoes. Then walk around like you own the place.”
Own your awkwardness.
“Call out your flaws. Like on an interview or a first date, if there’s something distracting you from the interaction, call it out. Say it immediately. ‘I’m sorry, I’m hungover from last night,’ or, “you know, this pimple on my face is bothering me.” If you’re hiding something from someone, that creates an uncomfortable energy. If you call it out, they’ll be comfortable with it too and everyone will get on with it. Don’t be a pity party, obviously…but if there’s one thing bothering you, own up to it.”
Love yourself, even the rough or jiggly bits.
“In terms of self-love, it sounds cheesy but – you must have more confidence in the you that you are, and not changing for anyone else. I have these nubbins of rough skin on the inside of my hands, that come from doing aerial hoops…I am so proud them, now.
“One guy noticed my rough patches and he thought it was awesome. We bonded over it. Not too long afterward, a different guy saw these same rough bits and said, “Oh, God! We’ll have to fix that, won’t we.” Instead of taking this personally and having my roughness removed, I decided to say fuck him.
“If one person doesn’t like something, there’s someone else around the corner who thinks it’s awesome. If you want to change something for you, that’s absolutely fine. But don’t feel guilty about what you want. If it makes you happy, go and do it. Be proud of what that make you happy, and the things you love about yourself.”
Thank you, Vixen.
Burlesque is an attitude that can be infused with every area of life. Cat LaCohie is one of many powerful female voices calling for change in society’s beauty standards today. By empowering women, performers like Vixen DeVille are fueling a body-positive revolution. Will you join?
It’s as simple as looking in the mirror and choosing to embrace what you see.
You already possess the power to own any room you walk into. Like Burlesque, confidence is about peeling back the layers we’re wearing, in order to celebrate the human underneath.
For more information on Vixen DeVille, visit www.vixendeville.com.