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Nine First Moves By Women That Guys Dig

November 12, 2015January 22, 2024 by zfortadminin Sex

The first move. It’s a burden that, whether anyone likes it or not, traditionally falls on the shoulders of the guy. But what about when the tables are turned? Are dudes turned on or intimidated by it?

The question reminds me of a work party I attended some years ago. It took place at a nightclub, and as is characteristic of both work parties and night clubs, drinks were being drunk and eyes were wandering a bit more than they might normally. I knew there was sexual tension with one of my coworkers but also knew it was taboo and couldn’t decide whether to make a move. While I was sipping a red bull vodka (apologies—it was five years ago; I’m a different man now) and twiddling my thumbs, she walked right up to me and pointed to another of our coworkers, John.

“John wants to hook up with me, and I would,” she said. “But honestly, I’d rather hook up with you.” It was ballsy; it was funny; it was flattering. But most of all, seeing a girl make the first move like that was extremely attractive. Which was very unfortunate for John.

But I’m just one man. Here’s how nine other guys’ experiences matched up to my own:

“I had a friend who I had a thought of sexual tension with, but we were such good friends that I had never made a move. One day, I walked her to her car, and she gave me a quick peck. I never would have done it, so I was glad she did. We ended up dating shortly after, but it ended quickly. I guess we just had an itch that needed to be scratched.” —Fred C.

“For our third date, my now-girlfriend and I went to a park to have a picnic, drink wine, and take in San Francisco. We hadn’t kissed yet, and I didn’t make a move during the date. I was kicking myself when, as we were walking back to her apartment, she realized that I was incapacitated and defenseless because I was carrying everything she had on her at the time—bag, gym bag, blanket, wine. While I was standing there, holding all of our stuff, my arms completely full, she leaned in and gave me a very memorable first kiss.” —David A.

“I was at a bar and couldn’t help but notice this girl who was staring at me. At one point, she said something to the friend she was with, giggled, and literally reached out toward me and pinched the air. As soon as I walked over, she said, ‘Your face—it’s just so wholesome.’ I told her she was entertaining and asked her name before returning to my friends. As she left, she walked up to me to say they were on their way out. I asked her for her number, and she said ‘Sure, what’s my name?’ I’m bad at names, but luckily, she made an impression, and I blurted out, ‘Chloe!’ ‘Great, here you go,’ she said. ‘Lets go for a hike sometime.’ And she was off. The date was insane.” —Garth F.

“I was taking a comedy class and sort of hopeful that I’d meet a girl who had a similar sense of humor to me. When I got to the first class, I immediately noticed that there was one girl in particular who just fit the bill to a ‘T’ in terms of the type of girl I’m into. Specifically, I liked her sense of humor and her tattoos. After a few classes, when I had convinced myself that I was finally going to ask her for her number, another guy came up and got it first. I was so pissed. But she and I were walking the same way to our cars, and we started talking about our respective tattoos. As we parted ways, she said, ‘All right, well anyway, I think I should get your number. To talk more about tattoos and whatnot…’ I was so taken aback. Never in my life had a girl asked me for my number, let alone the exact girl I had had my eye on for some time. It was exhilarating and just made me all that more attracted to her.” —Harrison D.

“I re-connected with a girl from college for coffee and was thinking that I definitely was attracted to her but was on the fence as to whether to ask her out or not. However, as we were reaching a breaking point, she just asked if I wanted to go out some time, and I couldn’t help but say yes. It was nice being openly desired. It was very refreshing and also screams confidence in my mind, which is definitely one of the biggest factors in my wanting to date someone.” —Christopher W.

“I met up for dinner with a girl from college, and it was kind of vague if the dinner was a friendly thing or if it was more of a date. When we got there, she immediately started talking about other dates she’s been on, so I immediately figured it was a friend thing. The next time we hung out was at a dinner at her place. I hung around until I was the last person there, and it was still kind of vague where I stood with her. But I was getting tired, so I left to walk to the subway. On the way, she texted me: ‘You didn’t necessarily need to leave.’ I practically ran back to her apartment.” —Mark C.

“I was at a party during senior year of college, and this cute underclassman that I knew was there. We had flirted a little in the past, but nothing too serious…and I wasn’t expecting anything to come from the situation. I didn’t see her very much during most of the party, but at some point in the night, she pushed me into the empty kitchen and made out with me before disappearing. I found her about 15 minutes later with her head in the toilet; I guess she had needed a little extra liquid courage to make her move. I took care of her the rest of the night, we went out to brunch the next morning, and five years later, we’re still dating. It wasn’t necessarily the most romantic first kiss, but I thought it was bold of her to make the first move—and I was definitely intrigued to find out what this chick was all about.” —Zach D.

“At a bar I was working at last year, a woman sidled up toward closing time and asked me whether I had ever had sex in the bar. I said no. She said ‘Do you want to?’ I did. It was fantastic.” —Cal T.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Where to Find the Ultimate Man-Who Owns Their Stuff

December 1, 2015January 22, 2024 by BigScaryDuckin DATING ADVICE, RELATIONSHIPS

Sexy Conscious Awake MEN: Who We Are, What We Want and Need From Women

Do you ever wonder if the kind of man you dream about actually exists or if he’s a figment of your imagination?

For those of you who have never met him, of course you do!

Modern men have made the men in romance novels and fairy tales look like urban legends.

Most men, strongly, believe that women want men to be more like women, while most women cringe at the idea of dating a man that acts like the female in the relationship.

Truth be told: most women think they want the Ultimate Man.

A man who can protect and provide. A man who is masculine but not macho, open, confidant, humorous, amazing in bed, great at fixing shit, thoughtful, respectful and loving.

It’s as if the Ultimate Man is the answer to most women’s dissatisfaction with dating fragmented men. (Men who have pieces of what women want and a whole hell of a lot of what women don’t want).

If it’s true that most women are looking for the Ultimate Man, where the fuck are these amazing men?

Do they actually exist? Are they who we want them to be or think they are? Or are most women living in la-la land about what is and isn’t real?

Where Are The Men You Are Looking For and Who Are They?

The kind of men most women are looking for are the stuff of fantasies.

Let’s face it, even the most amazing men are flawed. All men, no matter how evolved: fart, burp, stink, have bad breath at times, forget shit, don’t know how to read minds, and will get old and have saggy balls one day.

For all you ladies looking for Edward Cullen or Christian Grey, vegetarian vampires don’t exist, and bondage is way sexier in fiction.

At some point women need to step away from the fantasy of men and come back down to reality where the real men you are looking for exist.

The kind of men you are looking for are: Sexy-Consciously Awake Men.

Sexy-Consciously Awake Men can grow lasting and healthy relationships with women.

These men stand out from the rest in two very key ways:

Their great capacity to LOVE women for all that they are;
Their level of personal accountability (they own their shit, they are capable and they show up).

Consciously Awake Men aren’t concerned with titles, labels, or ways people define them. They know who they are. They live for the truth. They live in certainty and can navigate the unknown with a sense of curiosity instead of fear. They make decisions from clarity. They’re self-assured, confident, and don’t need to protect their image.Their actions speak for themselves.

“What you feel at the core of a conscious man is that he’s found something worth fighting for, even dying for. He has faced death – death to self, death to desire and death to all forms of ego gratification. The paradox is that losing his fear of death is what creates a man’s ability to be completely open to love.” Graham R White

We can practically hear you ladies shouting: “yes, Yes, YES!”

Of course you are looking for this kind of man. We don’t want to burst your bubble, but we also don’t want to lie to you. So, while the thought of being with a man that has a deep love for women might make you reminiscent of Prince Charming, Consciously Awake Men are not your knights in shining armor. And they’re definitely not coming to save you. They won’t hunt you down and chase you to prove something to you. This is not to say they won’t try. Men like this will put in more effort than you have ever known, but you have to reciprocate or else what is the point?

These men are not interested in offering a princess a fairy tale. These men are waiting for their Queen to appear so that they can welcome her into their kingdom. Do you feel the difference?

These men want an equal-not a girl who needs saving.

It’s because of this that life with one of these men forces you to grow in ways you never knew you could. These men are MIRRORS. They won’t take on what isn’t theirs. This means your insecurities and trust issues are yours, not his. He’s different in that he won’t run away. He’ll hold space for you. He’ll dive into the fire with you. He’s not scared. But you can’t be either. Or you won’t last.

Dealing with your shit, confronting your shadows, your suffering, your fears, your pain; that’s no small task, BUT HE’S DEALT WITH HIS AND WILL CHOOSE A WOMAN WHO’S DEALT WITH HERS.

But it’s the only way we-as humans-will ever fully experience the magnificence of unconditional love.

So, ladies, if you want a man of this caliber you’d better put on your mud wrestling suit, darling. Things are gonna get dirty.

What Do Sexy-Consciously Awake Men Want From Women?

Consciously Awake men want women who, first and foremost, know themselves. These women are drop dead sexy. It doesn’t matter if they’re dramatic or high maintenance.

The Consciously Awake MAN loves women for all that they are. He rides the waves of emotion, loving it. But these same men cannot and will not be with women whose first inclination is to seek out a man and hide behind him. They don’t want to fill your emotional gaps. They’ll walk away. The Consciously Awake Man doesn’t seek relationships to hide out or to lose himself in. He looks for a relationship to connect on the most intimate levels imaginable. He looks for a relationship to take him to places he can’t go on his own.

“Sexy-Consciously Awake Men are everywhere, most of you just can’t see us. We are mirrors. Without full acceptance of who you are, as you are, in your entirety, you will never see us. In the reflection we provide you will see yourself fully. In order to see us you must be able to see beyond yourself and your emotions. If you feel good, we’ll amplify that and if you feel bad, our presence will amplify that too. If you can’t embrace that and thank us for it you’re not ready to have us in your life. We hold the entire planet in our hearts and that means that we can handle you and your emotions, the question is can you?” Paul Cooper

In other words, to be with a Sexy-Consciously Awake Men you MUST:

1) Love yourself. Fully. Completely. Unequivocally.

(Meaning, don’t try so hard to be someone you are not. Everyone is imperfect and flawed, but you are one of a kind, and what you have to offer no one else does. If you don’t love every square inch of you, how can you ever expect someone to love all of you, if you don’t?)

2) True love requires you to know your worth. Insecurities are fine. Own them. Making your problems about your man is unhealthy. You cannot stand in your love if you are sinking in fear.

(Meaning, don’t project your bullshit. Own your experience and stop looking to someone else when you don’t want to take responsibility.)

3) Loneliness is not a good start to getting into a relationship. You need to be a 100% YES (do you hear us, not a partial yes, 100%) on your own. A 100% YES doesn’t mean “happily ever after with 2.2 kids and a white picket fence.” In other words: This relationship serves my highest good. This relationship facilitates my growth. This relationship is built on trust and respect, not dysfunction and co-dependency.

(Meaning, relationship is about evolving and growing. It is about staying present and engaged. If you need someone to be something for you, you are in relationship to escape accountability and that house of cards will come crashing down. There’s nothing worse than your reality dismantling, because your relationship is an illusion.)

Who Are The Kind of Women Sexy-Consciously Awake Men Desire?

There are women an Evolved man simply passes over. There are women who he engages, maybe for the night. There are women he connects with for a season, and then there is one remarkable woman that he chooses who is ideally suited to him for the journey.

~The Woman He Passes Over:

She lies to avoid being embarrassed.
She creates drama rather than owning her own truth.
She uses deception and plays games.
She’s negative, jealous and petty.
She makes life up because she’s not proud of who she is.
She projects her fear and issues onto everyone else.
She attacks when she’s feeling vulnerable or unloved.
Her need to ‘know’ outweighs his right to privacy.
Her position changes depending on the argument.
She’s looking to be rescued but won’t save herself.

~The Woman He Engages For An Evening:

She keeps her attitude in check, unless someone provokes her.
She looks after herself, except when it’s inconvenient.
She’s close to family and friends, but they’re a lot of drama.
She has high standards for a man – higher than for herself.
She’s a whole lot of fun – but very little substance.
She’ll drop everything to help a friend – and expect a man to drop everything for her.
She willingly takes him into her body, but her heart is closed.
She’s a woman who has enjoyed the world – but knows very little about it.
She knows there’s something deeper, but hasn’t pursued it.
She wants to know she makes a difference, but she’s afraid to make a change.

~The Women He Takes For A Season:

She knows what she wants, and she’s making it happen.
She’s responsible for herself and any children she has.
She’s made a commitment to look after herself and it shows.
She’s close to family, except the dramatic ones who she avoids.
She has high standards for herself, her friends and men.
She has good friends who support her and also give her space.
Her body and her heart are ready to meet his.
Her life demonstrates she’s aware she’s part of something larger.
She takes on life with purpose and intention.
Who she is makes a difference and people tell her so.

~The Women He Partners With For The Journey:

Her standards are clear and she refuses to settle.
Her family, friends and community turn to her for wisdom.
She makes looking put together effortless, even if she’s busy.
She sets clear boundaries and not even family will cross them.
She is the standard that others look to for inspiration.
She has the kind of friends that few have intimate access to.
Her body, heart and soul are open to exquisite partnership.
She has taken on the responsibility of leadership.
Her purpose is clear and her intention creates ripples of change.
Who she is creates an ideal synergy in partnership with one very particular magnificent man.

Graham R White

Women: If you REALLY want to know what MEN want from you, you need to take a seriously long look at the things men reflect to you, because you are the one sabotaging your love and the only way you are going to get the kind of man you think you want is if you literally understand why you behave like this and then STOP doing the things that keep men like this from you.

What Sexy Consciously Awake Men Need to Commit?

When these men are ready to join forces with a woman, they look for women who have integrity. You need to do what you say and say what you do. You need to not be confused about major things in your life and know what you seek. You cannot be the kind of woman that sits on the fence. We want action and passion. We refuse to collect cobwebs waiting around for life to make your decisions for you.

Being Consciously Awake means practicing self-awareness, keeping high standards for yourself and for your life, and playing in the fires of your soul. When we do that, as men and women, we want our partners to be on the same path. Otherwise, we end up being a therapist for our partners, missing out on the deeply balanced emotional connection we crave from our significant other. And as far as men are concerned, we get it, ladies. You want and crave a remarkable man. But we want to know, are you the type of woman a remarkable man is looking for?

So, Women, If You Are The Kind Of Woman Who Is Looking For A Man To:

Save you
Rescue you from being alone, so you can hide out in relationship
Give you everything in life without you having to work for it
Looking for a fairy tale
Make you feel better about yourself than you actually feel about yourself

If any of these ring true—then you are not looking for a remarkable man. Frankly, you don’t deserve him. But-more than anything-you’re trying to ESCAPE. And as long as you are trying to escape the responsibility you have for your own emotional well-being, and happiness, you will find disappointment in men at every turn.

If you’re looking for a Sexy-Consciously Awake Man to be your true love, the power lies in your hands. You may want to give away that power. These men want you to own your power. Seriously. STOP giving away your power, women. You have the power to create KINGS in men.

What does this look like in action?

It means you stop lying to men and yourselves. If you feel something, feel it and speak your truth. Don’t hide. Don’t run. Allow yourself to be uncomfortable, knowing you can grow. Don’t allow our bullshit to disconnect you from what you know to be true in your heart. Don’t be afraid for the relationship to end.

Remember: live in reality and cut the bullshit. Allowing yourself to succumb to fear kills your hopes, dreams, romances, and possibilities.

Know your worth.

These men will tell you’re beautiful in a way you’ve never known. These men will put their energy into you. You will feel it in their touch, in their presence, and how valued you feel. But this takes you deeper in love with yourself than you already are. These men aren’t here to make you feel worthy. They’re here BECAUSE you’re worthy.

Love these men.

FULLY. Even if it scares the living shit out of you. That means holding us to a higher standard when we aren’t showing up. Call them to be bigger than they are. They need your support. This is also unconditional love.

But it’s met on the other side with a deep respect. Don’t call them out because you want to put them down. Call them out because you want them to be even more magnificent than they already are.

If you can do this for yourself, you’ll have won their hearts.

XO, Sam Hershberger and Kelly Marceau with excerpts from Graham White of (What Evolved Women Want) and Paul Cooper of (IAMPAULCOOPER).

Much love to Graham, Sam and Paul, and all that you contributed to make this article come into existence. It would not be what it is without you. I LOVE and RESPECT all of you.

If some of you ladies read this and you want to find this caliber of man and you don’t know how or you don’t know how to become the kind of women a man like this would want contact me. I can help you bridge the gap.

Note to the reader: I am now providing services for women and men who want to live awakened lives. I am offering this due to the heavy demand of my fan base to go beyond writing into something much deeper. If you feel that you are constantly repeating patterns and never getting exactly what you want from life or your intimate relationships I have formed a team dedicated to showing you the truth of who you are, so you can embody your truth and lead a powerful existence. YOU DO NOT HAVE TIME TO WASTE. YOUR LIFE IS PRECIOUS. Your hopes and dreams matter. My WORK WITH ME page is under construction, so if you want to work with me and the team CLICK THIS LINK for more info on what we do and why. We are here for you, if you are willing to show up for yourself.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

It’s Not Okay! What Happened When I Was Intimately Assaulted on an Airplane

November 7, 2016January 22, 2024 by Lisa Lauretain RELATIONSHIPS

I waited in a small room for two FBI agents to finally show up and ask me typical questions such as, “What were you wearing?”

In light of the election and talk of “grabbing pussies,” I thought I’d go ahead and tell my tale of such atrocities. Many people have made light of the subject, writing it off as “locker room talk,” and saying things like “that’s just how men speak.” I don’t know what men these people are associating with, but this is not the way the men I know speak. Men of varying orientations, backgrounds, ages, etc., all across the country and world are saying, “Um, no, we would never just grab pussies, in a locker room or elsewhere.”

There are, however, men who do feel this behavior is okay. Let me just say for the record, it’s SUPER NOT OKAY. Grabbing a woman, on any part of her body, let alone right in her pussy, without consent, wouldn’t even cross the mind of most of the men in my life. It wouldn’t cross my mind either, and I love pussies! So to brush “talk” off like it’s nothing is extremely irresponsible, especially when influential people in the media are the ones speaking these harmful words. I’m not just talking about the candidate who I don’t respect enough to even mention the name of. He wasn’t the only person in that conversation. And that conversation unfortunately does happen in certain locker rooms. But that still doesn’t make it okay, or harmless, or something to brush under the rug. Because guess what?! It happens. Words become actions. Many men feel that they can just grab you right in the pussy. And they get away with it.

I was on a 15 hour American Airlines flight home to Chicago from India. The man sitting next to me was wearing way to much cologne, donned a big bushy mustache, and a cell phone clipped to his belt. These offenses would unfortunately not to be his worst. He was asking me questions about Chicago and what he should do there on his layover. At one point, he asked if I wanted to show him around and I politely declined stating that I was excited to see my boyfriend who was picking me up at the airport. I then decided to drape a blanket over myself and try to get some sleep. About an hour and a half into the flight, in my sleepy state, I began feeling a hand all over my body. I mean ALL OVER my body. It was invasive, and heavy, and under my blanket. I could feel the pressure from it all over my breasts, and then it snaked down to my legs and in between my thighs. I was in that mid-way point between sleep and awake so I didn’t react right away. I finally woke right the eff up when I felt his hand grab me, guess where?! That’s correct, right in my pussy. The hand under my blanket belonged to Mr. Too Much Cologne.

I jumped up immediately. He moved his hand away and stared at the screen on the seat in front of him. I looked at him and asked, “What were you doing?!” He sat completely still and silent, apparently unable to take his eyes off the Sandra Bullock/Ryan Reynolds blockbuster, “The Proposal” playing in front of him (who can blame ‘im?!). I sat for a second wondering if he’d even realized what he had done, or if maybe I was mistaken. Was I going crazy? Was I still asleep and dreamed the whole thing, or rather, nightmared it? Then I looked down and saw his erection. This was not imagined. I yelled, “Do you think what you did was okay?!” Still, the movie was far too engrossing for him to reply. I finally exclaimed, “Get UP!” At which point I finally received a response from him, which was to stand up and move into the aisle.

I left my window seat and not knowing what else to do, ran. I ran first toward the back of the plane, losing a contact lens in the process (for which I have yet to be reimbursed by the man or American Airlines). Failing to find a flight attendant in the back of the plane, I ran toward the front. Finally I came upon a male flight attendant near the bathrooms and frantically told him what had just happened, to which he replied, “Oh…so…do you wanna move seats?” No, I just wanted to tell you how happy I was that I finally found the one! “YES! Move me!”

I was moved to business class where the female flight attendants made sure I was okay, as the male attendant brought my things to me and said, “geeze, you have a lot of stuff.” I don’t check luggage when I travel abroad, which is not the point, asshole, but thanks for the unsolicited opinion! They let me know that the pilots had been informed and the man would be apprehended upon landing, but there wasn’t much else they could do at that time because there was no marshal on the plane. I tried as hard as I could to sleep for the next thirteen hours, but it was pointless. I just imagined him coming up to me in my new fancy seat and doing it again, or something even worse. Did he know he was going to be apprehended? Was he going to come after me and try to get me to shut up or change my story? Was there an in-flight Lifetime movie relating to this exact experience that could keep me occupied for the next several hours?! Luckily there were no further incidents and the plane landed safely in Chicago.

As promised, Chicago PD was waiting for us to get off the plane. They were all set to take both of us to customs when one of the female flight attendants chimed in, “Maybe you should take her first, so she doesn’t have to see him again.” A male police officer scoffed, “She’s already seen him, what’s the big deal?” This is yet another great example of the training offered to those meant to protect and serve us. The men that I dealt with on this exhausting day had zero sensitivity for the issue, while the women seemed to completely understand. This baffles me, but I have to think it has something to do with the fact that women are trained from birth on how to deal with and/or try to avoid these situations and men, well, I don’t know what most men are trained for, but it’s clearly not sensitivity.

I waited in a small room for two FBI agents to finally show up and ask me typical questions such as, “What were you wearing?” and “What did you say to him?” As though my yoga pants and light conversation about fun things to do in Chicago were to blame for my sexual assault. They made sure to laugh a lot and make real light of the situation. One of them asked if I wanted to press charges, and while doing so suggested that it wouldn’t really do much, because, “this has already happened thirteen times this year.” Did I mention it was February? I absolutely wanted to press charges and made sure that everyone knew that. They said they spoke to the man, who apparently was “very sorry” and crying, which was another reason I shouldn’t press charges. I insisted once again on pressing charges. They said they would send him home, and “he’s here on business, so he’ll probably get fired. Plus, he’s married, so his wife will be pissed.” To which I replied, “That’s not enough, please press charges.” I was told to go home and they would continue talking to him. I would receive a call when they were finished.

I was met by my boyfriend, and had to explain why I didn’t want to be touched even though we’d been apart for ten days. I got back to my apartment where I finally laid down to get the sleep I desperately needed when I was awoken by a phone call with a laughing, literally laughing FBI agent who said, “Yeah, we didn’t press charges. He said that he’s done this with other Middle Eastern women before who liked it. I think he just thought you liked him cause you were being so nice. He’s already on a plane back to India, so, he’s really gonna get it from his wife. He wrote you an apology note. It’s kinda cute, want me to read it to you?” I received the note in the mail a couple weeks later. The officer and I have differing opinions on what we consider to be “cute.”

To this day, when I travel, I have a very difficult time sitting next to strangers. All I can think of is this disgusting man who’s face and shitty mustache are embedded in my brain forever, and the fact that he knows it’s okay to do this. After all, who’s going to stop him?Not American Airlines who, in response to my letter asking that they ban him from further flights said they can’t deny his business. Not the FBI. Not anyone in the US government.

So I ask you this, if this is already a huge issue in this country, if this exact situation had already happened 13 times in just two months, why would it be okay to elect someone into office who chalks things like this up to “typical male behavior” and “locker room talk?” Anyone who so clearly disrespects women, and has such low opinions of them, or any gender of human, doesn’t even deserve to be on a plane, let alone lead a country. Don’t we as a country need to move forward, rather than slip back into archaic, misogynist mindsets?

I have to say, I’m grateful that a dialogue has started, and I’m hopeful that it continues. Because people need to know this is not something that should be laughed away, or scoffed at, or disregarded as women being oversensitive. It’s an invasion on someone else’s body, which, often times in this world is literally the only thing we have that’s truly ours. Don’t let it be taken away from you. And when it is, fight back. I was too scared, tired, and weak when it happened to really fight back. But I fight now. And, at the risk of sounding cliché, one of the best ways to fight is to vote. So vote, dammit, and keep creeps away from our pussies!