The number one fantasy we did over and over again

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Many years ago, while living in NYC as a struggling actor and comedian, I worked as a Phone Fantasy Girl; otherwise known as “phone sex operator.” I had just finished a 2-year run at Radio City Music Hall, working there as a Tour Guide, and I was in desperate need of a new job. One day, while hanging out with two male friends, one of them saw an ad in the paper for a Manhattan company looking for phone girls. He said to me with pride: “You NEED to do this! You have the sexiest voice!” My other friend agreed, and the two of them “dared me” to call the number and get an interview. Being the competitive type that I am, I took on their dare, and called the number. About a week later, I was hired.

When I walked into work that first day to their Manhattan offices in a professional, nice looking high-rise building, I was taken aback at how business-like the environment was. If you didn’t know what was going on there, you would think you had just entered into some fancy Wall Street office. There were cubicles and dividers and headsets, and training rooms and conference rooms and the like. The people that ran the company and the people who worked there as fantasy girls and other staff, were some of the nicest people I have ever met. They were just regular, everyday people, like me. Struggling actors, single moms, college students, wives, all ages, all races, all sorts of reasons for taking on a job such as this. And although there were male security employees, and a few male Supervisors and Managers, the company was largely run by women.

For those of us who didn’t want the people in our lives knowing that we worked there, (which was most of us), everything was kept very discreet. The name of the company was mysterious and vague-sounding, and most of us told people who asked, that we worked for a “marketing company”, or that we did “phone sales and telemarketing.” For the most part, even the many other companies that resided in the same building as us, had no idea that it was a phone fantasy place. While a handful of my close friends have known for ages that I had this job, most people in my life had no idea. Until today. (Sorry mom and dad! Surprise!) Today, I’m coming out of the closet, so that I can share just some of the fascinating things I learned while working in the phone fantasy world. Strap in, folks. It’s gonna be good!!!

PHONE SEX IS A LOT LIKE REAL LIFE:

As I started to work more and learn more about the business, it struck me as amusing how many similarities there were in the phone fantasy / customer relationship, to the real life female / male relationship. In the phone sex world, you get paid an hourly rate, which was somewhere around $10 an hour if I remember correctly. It was “base pay.” The rest of your money comes in the form of commission, and that is based on how long you can keep the customer on the call. The longer the call, the more money you make. Now, this is very difficult, because most of the men who are calling want to get off, and do it quickly. Half of them are close to being “there” when they call, and just need to be taken over the edge. So when a guy called up who was already in mid-masturbation mode, we were instructed to try and “small talk” with him. Imagine his frustration, when he is trying like hell to orgasm, and I’m delaying it by saying: “So, how about those Yankees? That was quite a game yesterday, right?” And he is on the other end panting and impatient: “WHAT ARE YOU WEARING???” So, its a lot like real life. When it comes to sex, men want to get off, but the women won’t stop yapping! It also struck me that the man is paying so that he can get off, and yet the woman is still trying to delay his pleasure, and talk more. Its just like real life, where the man takes a woman out for a nice dinner in hopes of taking her to bed, and in the end, he could end up listening to her life story, and going home alone with an empty wallet.

THERE IS A FETISH FOR EVERYTHING:

Did you know that some men get turned on by pretending to be a bug? As in, an insect? Yeah. I didn’t either, until I took this job, and a guy called me one day, telling me that his fantasy was for me to be driving my car and then put on the windshield wipers at full speed. He, an insect hanging out on my windshield, would then get squashed over and over and over, by the wipers. This would in fact, kill him, and when he was properly murdered by my windshield wipers, he would bust out into orgasm. This guy called me over and over, every single week, and wanted that exact same conversation each and every time. The call was only a couple of minutes long, and mainly consisted of me describing my windshield wipers going back and forth over his insect body, until his eventual death / orgasm.

What I learned very quickly, is that pretty much anything in the world can be made into someone’s fetish. Things that you would never in a million years imagine how or why that is sexual or could be a turn-on to someone – is! One customer who called me regularly, enjoyed listening to the sounds of me pretending that I was vomiting. He would make me describe different things I was eating, and then he would ask me if I was going to puke. “Yup, here I go!”, I would say, and begin to make ridiculous and obviously fake throwing up sounds. There was absolutely no sex in his fantasy.