Own Your Past
As I’ve mentioned, one of the things which impresses me the most about my husband is his mature and responsible ownership of the past. He owns it and its consequences – and doesn’t let it own him. Very impressive, and demonstrative of huge strength of character. It is important to learn from your past, but not to let it control you. If you are living in a state of anxiety about past problems, then, arguably, those problems are not truly in the past. They are still exerting an inordinate amount of control over your present. Rather than flinging your mind back to those troublesome times, process them, and move on. Think of the lessons you learned from your troubles, and the person that they helped you to become. Above all, remember that your past is, ultimately, your business, and you can do what you like with it.
The Pros And Cons of Hiding the Truth
Every situation is different, but there are a few fairly general pros and cons to keeping aspects of yourself hidden. These are as follows…
Maintain the relationship in its current form.
Don’t introduce potentially divisive elements into something new.
Move forward with your life, breaking ties with past problems.
Your SO may find out about your past independently of you.
The longer the past goes unacknowledged, the more like a deception this becomes.
You may feel uncomfortable or ‘guilty’ about keeping things a secret.