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Creepy Dating…

7. Professional cuddlers

Free hug

The prediction: “A modern (cleaner) spin on the oldest profession is a ‘Professional Cuddler,’ who simply comforts with hugs a society of singletons. This must be loosely connected to the motivation behind the Free Hugs campaign. Hugging has also become a common greeting practice, sometimes replacing handshakes in U.S. business settings.”

Does this read like an Orwell novel to anyone else? If the future is paying someone to hug you — or being forced to hug your creepy boss — we’ll be opting out of society, thanks.

Photo credit: Photawa via iStockphoto

8. Biometric bonking

Woman wearing Google glass

The prediction: “Whether connecting with a distant loved one, living through another’s experience or having a fresh perspective on an encounter, wearables and virtual reality/augmentation innovations enable unparalleled sexual experiences. With so many different ways to track and manipulate biometrics (heartbeat, breath, sweat, electromagnetism, etc.), we expect ‘hooking up’ to take on a whole new meaning.”

We’re not entirely sure what this one means, but if Google Glass can make our boyfriend look and feel like Channing Tatum, we’re in!

9. Cosplay courtship

Couple dressed as zombies

The prediction: “As cosplay goes from fringe to mainstream, we are seeing the emergence of in-character courtship, such as this Comic-Con speed-dating event. It seems like Second Life has evolved into ‘second skin’ with costumes becoming important expressions of self. We foresee people discussing the pros and cons of inter-character relationships as they once did about inter-racial relationships.”

Does this mean we’ll get to have sex with Batman? OMG. In that case, we want to be Poison Ivy. Wait, Harley Quinn. No, Catwoman. No, Wonder Woman. Wait, no! We want to be Daenerys Targaryen from Game of Thrones and date a real-life version of her super-hot right-hand man, Jorah Mormont. There are so many possibilities here, and most of them involve dudes with sick pecs and abs.