This list goes in to great depth on ways to make your relationship better!
How to reconnect, strengthen your relationship, improve communication, intimacy, and more.
All relationships need a little pick-me-up sometimes, even the best ones. To that end, we’ve compiled a list of 101 ways to reconnect with your significant other right this moment. These actions will make your partner feel loved, appreciated and desired and will, in turn, make you feel more connected to him/her. Whether you’d like to increase intimacy, find a thoughtful way to say “I love you,” or just show your honey some gratitude, we’re sure you’ll find something useful in the list below.
And since the world (and our site!) is full of loving, creative souls, we hope you’ll share with us in the comments section below the special ways you share love and strengthen your bond with your significant other. Read the whole list, or skip to your favorite category from the list below.
1. Lie down on the bed … and spend two minutes looking into each other’s eyes without saying anything. (Blinking is OK.)
2. Next time you’re in bed pull the covers over your head and have a whispered conversation. If you whisper first he’ll probably whisper back—it’s incredibly intimate.
3. Listen to each other. Think you already do that? Try active listening. Ask your partner to talk about something and after each sentence (or paragraph) repeat what you heard. Start with, “I heard…” You don’t have to repeat back the words verbatim, just say what you think she said. If you misinterpret or leave out anything, your partner will correct you. Take turns doing this. It’s great for intense discussions, arguments, or just a weekly ritual to improve communication.
4. Pray together. If you’re comfortable talking about it, discuss what you pray about.
5. Do the wonder intimacy exercise. (From The Marriage First Aid Kit.) Free associate and list sentences starting with “I wonder” on a piece of paper. (I wonder if I’ll ever learn to cook. I wonder if I’ll ever cook for you. I wonder if I could love you more than I do.) Take turns reading your wonders to your partner, without judging, commenting or analyzing. This may feel silly at first, but just try it and see what happens.
6. Do the nostalgic memory exercise. (From The Marriage First Aid Kit.) Pick a shared memory from “the honeymoon period” of your relationship. Discuss the memory and take turns talking about a) sensory memories (sights, sounds, smells) b) what you were thinking and c) what you were feeling.
7. Set time aside every day for mutual silence.
8. Give each other pet names. Sure, you can call each other baby, boo, or schmoopy but coming up with a nickname only you two get is cute and provides a little laugh. Studies have shown that nicknames are a sign of a strong relationship. Others might not think “Bomboushay Yaya” is endearing but if it means something to you then that’s all that matters.
9. Say something positive — anything at all. Researchers have found that happy couples have a ratio of five positive comments to each negative comment.
10. Think of one quirky thing she does that you love and tell her about it.
11. Ask him what he was like when he was a little kid.
12. Tell him he looks sexy in that shirt (pants, shorts, insert the appropriate item of clothing).
13. Compliment something that he’s improved upon.
14. Tell him he makes you a better person. And then tell him how.
15. If you’re feeling anxious about something, ask your partner to be your stress absorber. Ask him to listen as you explain what you’re worrying about. The catch is that he doesn’t have to say anything — no reassurances or offers of assistance. He just has to pay attention to what you’re saying and offer you a hug or hold your hand. As you’re talking, imagine your stress dissipating as the words leave your mouth.
16. The next time she does something that makes you angry … before you say something about it stop and ask yourself, “What am I really mad about?” Little things can often be masks for deeper issues. If you decide it’s a larger issue, hold your tongue and bring it up when you’re not mad.
17. Accept her apology. If you’ve been fighting and she makes an attempt to reconcile, don’t rebuff her.
18. If she holds a notable position in her field … (or even if not) remind her of how awesome she is at her job and how it intensifies your amazement of her.