19. Apologize for something you never apologized for … even though you knew it was your fault.
20. Tell her a sexual fantasy you’ve always felt embarrassed about.
21. If there’s a secret you’ve been wanting to share with him … write a list of five reasons you’re afraid to say it, five ways you could phrase it, and five possible reactions he could have. Then pick one phrase and do it.
22. Think about something your partner does that makes you feel bad, but you haven’t told him about. (If this doesn’t exist for you, great! Skip this one.) Decide what you’d like him to do instead and tell him about it like this: Next time you’re feeling relaxed and loving, say, “I want to tell you something. Sometimes I feel <insert feeling here> when you <whatever it is that makes you feel bad.> Could you do <what he could do instead> instead?”
23. Think about a time when something went wrong between the two of you: a fight, a disappointment, a miscommunication. Ask yourself: What could I have done differently? What could we have done differently? What can we learn from this? Then talk to your partner about it, starting with what you could have done differently.
24. Make a special treat. Even if you’re on a diet, there’s always room for a little snack once a week. Maybe it’s a food from her childhood (like the s’mores her dad used to make when they went camping) or something that reminds him of your first date (spicy homemade guacamole? No problem!). A little treat that you’ve either made or just remembered to pick up will show you’re thinking about the two of you.
25. Cook a meal together. Divide up the tasks so you can both be in the kitchen working at the same time.
26. Make breakfast for him. It’s more unexpected than lunch or dinner.
27. Next time you’re at the corner store…pick up his favorite candy or gum.
28. Pack her a lunch to take to work. Bonus: put it in a paper bag with a note. Double bonus: include a small piece of chocolate.
29. Think of a piece of food that he likes but is difficult to find and order it online.
30. Use a toothpick to write “I love you” on the outside of an unpeeled banana. It’ll turn dark in a few hours and he’ll be able to see it.
31. The next time you hug him, reach around and squeeze his butt. It’s the little things that keep it hot.
32. Browse an online sex toy store together and talk about what items you’d like to try.If you want, order one.
33. Bathe together periodically.
34. Put one of his fingers in your mouth and lightly suck on it. It’s chaste and incredibly sexual at the same time.
35. Write erotic fiction for each other. Pick something you’ve done together and recreate it in words, or pick a steamy fantasy and write down exactly how you want it to happen—even if in reality, it’s impossible.
36. Dedicate one day exclusively to sex. Turn off your phones, don’t check your email and stay in bed all day. Rent a hotel room for a day if this will help you get away from life and only think about each other’s bodies.
37. Take turns being dominant in bed. Tell him or her that you want to experiment. Tonight you call all the shots, tomorrow he does. Try a blindfold, tying his or her hands with a tie or scarf, or spanking.
38. Masturbate together without touching each other.