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If you’ve avoided dating a vegan because you’re worried that they are high maintenance, fear no more.

Are you afraid of vegans? Suspicious? In other words, do you see them as somehow different than you in a way that makes you nervous about vegan dating altogether? Well, you’re right that a vegan is in some ways different than you, a non-vegan.

Before fear overcomes you, let me reassure you that vegans, in many ways, are just like you. In all likelihood you love animals, so do vegans. You also probably love food, so do vegans.

The main difference between you and the vegan you might date is that they have decided to make a conscious effort not to hurt animals, or perhaps boost their health (a whole foods, plant-based diet has been proven to be ideal for good health), or help the planet (animal agriculture has a disastrous impact on the environment) by cutting animal products out of their diet and lifestyle.

That’s not so bad, is it?

Ask out that vegan

A vegan has the strong potential to offer some very attractive qualities. The fact that they are vegan means that they walk the walk (and don’t just talk the talk).

If they are an ethical vegan (vegan in the interest in reducing animals’ suffering), then you know that they are not only standing up for what they believe in, but that they are opposed to cruelty.

Probably the most attractive trait of a vegan is that they are living the love that is in their heart by acting on their love for animals, love for themselves, and love for the planet. And relationships are all about love, right?

Plan a great vegan date

So what happens when you’re going out on a date with a vegan and you start shaking in your leather boots because you’re nervous about being criticized, saying something wrong, or how you will break it to your parents that your someday fiancé won’t eat their Thanksgiving meal?

First, don’t be nervous. They’ve already said they will go out with you, so they have indicated that they accept how you eat. Give them a chance to say yes to you before you convince yourself they will reject you. You can worry about Thanksgiving later.

You’ll want to pick a place to meet that works for both you and your date. Your vegan isn’t only a vegan, they are a whole person with a spectrum of interests. Maybe they also enjoy botanical gardens, or seeing bands perform, or that French film that’s playing in the cute movie house downtown.

When it comes to restaurants, or cafés, or other food-oriented outings, a vegan will generally appreciate your thoughtfulness if you suggest a plant-based establishment. However, there are also frequently vegan options at non-vegan restaurants. There’s a good chance you’ll still be able to go to your favorite place, even if it isn’t vegan.

This could also be a fantastic opportunity for you to try a new cuisine. Your date will likely be in the know about the best vegan restaurants, and you could follow their guidance to delicious gourmet plant-based food unlike any you’ve tasted before.

Although your vegan date may seem a bit alien to you for their lifestyle choices, remember that they’re a human, like you. Vegans aren’t only interested in vegan things. We have all different topics we can talk about.

You should feel free to speak to your vegan about topics that interest you, but you’ll want to avoid interrogating them about their veganism, just as you wouldn’t want to be challenged about your own eating habits by a new potential love.

Also, you may want to avoid sensitive subject matter such as: 1) Your love of hunting, 2) Your last fishing trip, and 3) Your passion for eating bacon.

Get to know your vegan

Though incessant prodding about one’s veganism is not fun on a date, as a vegan I can tell you that I always welcome the gentle asking of questions. It’s perfectly OK to be curious. Go ahead and ask your date how they came to be vegan, what they eat for breakfast, and what they wear on their feet. They will probably welcome your interest in their life.

On one of my first dates with my now-partner, Dietrich, he gently asked me why I didn’t drink milk, or eat other dairy products. I took no offense, and happily filled him in on why I had decided not to consume them, without pressuring him to change.

However, I should warn you, he has been happily vegan since that very day.

Ready for your first date with a vegan? Read on to tell if it’s going well.

Vegans are passionate people, which is a great quality between the sheets!

Committing to a vegan lifestyle, eschewing animal products in our lifestyles, applies to every aspect of our multifaceted lives, even the time we spend with our lovers between the sheets.

When I went vegan I was warned by some of those close to me that my love-interests might be put off by my cruelty-free lifestyle, but I stood proud in my vegan shoes.

Being vegan means I’m compassionate and considerate of others’ feelings, I have ambitions to make the world a better place, and I’ve been told that my skin has that mysterious vegan glow. To me, that all seems sexy. Would I want to be with someone who was turned off by those qualities? Of course not.

I’ve also heard from more than one lover of a vegan that we taste better than meat-eaters. Very sexy.

Valentine’s Day offers a wonderful opportunity to spread vegan love

We vegans are great lovers because of the passion and compassion we bring to the bedroom. There are also some tools we can take into our dating lives and to bed to supercharge the vegan love.

Being a fantastic vegan lover can mean sharing the delights of vegan food, and most dates appreciate the effort of a meal prepared by their love-interest.

For Valentine’s Day, why not seduce your love with a delectable vegan lasagna followed by sweet cruelty-free cookies and coconut milk ice cream for dessert? You can serve it all picnic-style on your living room floor, lounging on pillows and lit by soy candles.

For vegans, there are lots of fun ways to get sexy

When it comes time to slip on protection, it helps keep things hot to be fully prepared. When we avoid animal products, that means doing a little more research into our protection that looking at the brands on display at the drugstore.

Some condoms contain casein, a milk derivative, and others are made from lamb intestines. Not vegan.

With a little research ahead of time, sexy vegans will know to pack a brand like Sir Richard’s condoms when going on dates, which are vegan certified. Being prepared will keep you safe, keep you in the mood, and keep you vegan. Other brands offering vegan condoms include Glyde, L., and Durex (their non-latex options are vegan).

You can heat up Valentine’s Day with sexy cruelty-free lingerie

Though many of us like to cut to the chase, some of us prefer to slow things down, and Valentine’s Day is the perfect excuse to invest in some fun lingerie to enjoy as part of a romantic evening with a lover.

However, being vegan means avoiding animal products in our clothing, including silk, which is the result of insects losing their lives. In fact, every pound of silk comes at the cost of the lives of thousands of silkworms. So not sexy.

There might be an historic association between silk and sexy lingerie, but there are plenty of gorgeous cruelty-free options available for those who want to avoid the suffering caused by the fabric. We can be great vegan lovers by decorating ourselves in tantalizing pieces that are made without harm to animals.

My all-time favorite lingerie designer is Agent Provocateur and lucky for us vegans they offer plenty of beautiful silk-free pieces including garter belts and corsets, bodysuits and bras (like the gorgeous Daliah bra made out of 100% polyamide). Just remember to check the fabric content to be sure your piece of choice is cruelty-free.

The Brand Luva Huva also offers beautiful lingerie in fabrics other than silk. Their beautiful Cosette Bamboo Slip is slinky and sexy and completely cruelty-free.

Vegan lubricants may take sex to the next level

For many, lubricants take sex to the next level, with a magic touch. For others, they are necessary due to pain caused by medical conditions. Whatever the case, they are a wonderful addition to an intimate evening with your lover.

To be great vegan lovers, we can tote one of the assortment of cruelty-free lubricants available. The brand Sliquid boasts 60 vegan products for between the sheets, including Sizzle lubricant which cools on contact and warms with friction. A great way for vegans to heat things up in bed.

Also available from Sliquid are vegan flavored lubricants in cherry vanilla, strawberry pomegranate, and other tasty options. For the adventurous, these are a great way to invite creativity into the bedroom and have fun more fun with your lover while keeping things 100% vegan and cruelty-free.

Some myths might have you believe that vegans aren’t as sexually engaged as omnivores, but with a great deal of passion, delicious lingerie, and some fun tools in bed, those who avoid cruelty to animals make fantastic vegan lovers.

Check out Vegan: An Expert Guide to Plant-Based Dating by the same author.

Tag: vegan

Vegan: An Expert Guide to Plant-Based Dating