The Other Virginity: To Be or Not to Be

“If you’re confused, I’ll just say that it’s the most common one to be kept the longest (by non-Catholics).”

My parents never had “the talk” with me.  We never discussed sex, not the technical how-to, nor the philosophical meaning.  They were busy, preoccupied with their own chaos, so I gathered my information about it as I went along, from books and friends and friend’s older brother’s porn collections..  I figured out what I needed to know, but I didn’t realize that virginity was a thing that some people save for true love, or some semblance thereof, until I only had one virginal penetration point left.  You know the one…if you’re confused, I’ll just say that it’s the most common one to be kept the longest (by non-Catholics).   Now, since I am a true romantic at heart, I thought the idea of saving something for true love was really sweet, and decided to save my anal virginity for someone special.

For years after making that decision, it never came up.  I’m not sure if that’s because it was the 90’s, and backdoor play didn’t really come into vogue focus until post-millennium, or because I was mostly sleeping with guys after last call, who were too drunk to do anything that required effort (bc any drunken fool can fall into an open vagina, but a lady’s bum requires a considerable amount more finesse).  Then, when I was 25, I fell in love.  However, it was with a man who was…gifted…with very, very large equipment.  So I rethought my plan, and decided to wait until marriage, thinking that if this guy would be the one, I’d have an entire lifetime to work up to the feat, and if this man was not to be my betrothed, whoever was would surely have less manhood to work with, making the special act less intimidating.

8 Lovemaking Techniques to Create a Deeper Connection With Your Partner

Here’s how to improve your connection with your partner.

Mindfulness is being in the present moment with total awareness. But the one area where we can be the least present is in our relationships, and that includes our most intimate ones.

Mindful love-making is a whole new approach to being intimate with awareness, which means having sex not only for the sheer pleasure of it, but with our mind, body, and spirit combined, and as thoughtfully engaged as possible. Loving your partner mindfully will enhance the quality of your sex, and increase the closeness you experience together significantly. Not only will it become the type of love-making you crave, but it will be the only type of love-making you desire to give your partner.

Here are several ways to connect with your partner mindfully, and be as fully present as you can in the bedroom:

The best lovemaking is when two people are 100 percent present with each other, which means they are completely aware and sensitive of one another’s needs.

A good way to make that happen is to set aside a special time for you and your partner to have sex. That way, you know that you’re bringing your complete attention to them, and that they are getting all of you in the experience, which is a turn-on.

Mindful lovemaking can happen when both people are fully present without distraction.

Put your gadgets away. That means no phones nearby, or anything electronic that could go off and distract you. Being fully present with your partner means that you need nothing other than them to satisfy you.

Making love mindfully means being fully attuned to someone else’s body and needs.

Communicate to your partner either verbally or through touch how much you want to satisfy them. Giving them all of your attention increases stimulation and satisfaction.

Think of what would make your partner happy or satisfy them.

Showing your partner that you’ve taken the time to figure out what would excite them sexually lets them know that you care about them, and that they are very important to you.

Try surprising your partner by doing something you know they would love.

Have a bath ready with candles around it, or cover the bed with rose petals.  Have their favorite music playing, or aromatherapy oil wafting from a diffuser. Think of creative ways to set the mood for optimum lovemaking.

Ask your partner if they would like to be massaged before you hurry into lovemaking.

Make sure not to rush, and to take it slow. By being fully in the present, your senses are much more alive, which makes everything you’re touching and everything you’re feeling much more enhanced.

Make sure to put your partner’s pleasure before your own.

Show them how much you want to please them, and let them know how much you love being with them intimately. Make them feel that they are the most desirable person in the world to you. Your passion for them ignites their own even more.

After lovemaking, hold your partner.

Allow yourself to fall asleep in each other’s arms.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

4 Tips for Getting Fit Through Good Sex

I’m all about multi-tasking. If you can hit two birds with one stone, why not, right? Making love with your spouse, boyfriend or lover can make for a great time, but did you ever think about the other benefits?

If done the right way, sex can be sexercise. After all, you’re stretching, clenching, arching and propping. Doing all of those things can work out some of those muscles of yours (not just his). Read on for some position ideas!

Bend Over and Stretch

With any workout that you do, you can never forget the importance of stretching. Usually you’ll bend over and touch your toes and hold for a few seconds. When it comes to sexercising, the idea is the same, but the procedure is slightly different. In the name of the stretching sexercise, simply bend over and lay your hands on the seat of a chair, while you keep your legs as straight (and comfortable) as possible. Let your partner have at it from behind, but pay attention to your legs’ form.

Being on Top Has Other Benefits

“We must admit, woman on top is our least favorite position because it requires the most physical effort,” says The Frisky, “but then again, riding cowgirl is way more fun than the Stairmaster, ain’t it?” Though, women usually say they can orgasm quickly while on top. Even better, there’s another benefit. Sit on top of your man while he’s sitting up. Wrap your legs around him and use your hands and arms to prop yourself up and down. That will work your triceps, biceps and forearms. If your arms aren’t strong enough, employ your legs and that should work out your thighs.

Crouching Can Replace Squats

I don’t know about you, but I hate doing squats. They’re just not fun. Doing squats in bed with your lover, on the other hand, is really fun. Simply squat on top of your man while he’s laying flat. Use your arms and legs to prop yourself up and down. Be careful though – we don’t want you to hurt your back. Do this slowly and watch your form so you don’t strain anything. Take breaks if you start to get really tired. Some of us aren’t used to this position and it takes some practice to master.

Make the Missionary Position Work for You

This sexercise sounds way too easy, you wonder. He’s on top and you’re laying on your back. How is this a workout, you ask? Well it’s all about stretching, arching and tightening. While he’s working, you can do some work on your own. Stretch your back, arch it here and there and tighten your abs. It’s like you’re doing pilates right in bed. If you want to sexercise even more than that, try tightening your kegel muscles while you’re at it – your lover will be sure to enjoy it!

Straight-Legged on His Shoulders

Stretch your legs, lady. Next time he’s on top and you’re laying on your back, take your legs and prop them right on each of his shoulders. This will not only stretch out your legs and help them tone during love-making, your abs will also feel some tension. Try to focus on your form and arch your back when possible – this will help tone your abs in the process.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Skip the Gym and Do It in the Morning

There are some small moments in life that are really great. Turning on the television at the exact moment Robin Williams is giving his moving “Dead Poet’s Society” speech.

Unexpectedly learning that your entire purchase has been discounted 30 percent at checkout.

Glancing down at your phone to see a surprising text from a potential mate. All these instances make us feel like the universe is on our side.

The same goes for sex. While getting laid is always good, there are some choice encounters that qualify as really, really great.

In the morning haze, when you’re at your most vulnerable and still easing into the day, nothing beats the feeling of having someone next to you wrap his arms around you and make you feel wanted.

Morning sex is like eating chocolate cake for breakfast — it’s decadent, indulgent and comforting. Plus, who doesn’t want to linger in bed just a little longer?

The benefits extend to more than just being uncharacteristically nice to everyone for the rest of the day. Multiple studies have shown that individuals who engage in morning sex are healthier and happier people. Your post-coital glow that others are noticing isn’t totally bogus.

Waking up to an eager partner sure as hell beats waking up to an alarm clock.

Here are all the reasons morning sex is the best sex.

1. Because you’ll actually remember it.

This is a win for you and your girlfriends, who will appreciate the fully detailed recap later. Normally you can’t recollect anything save a few fragments, “I think it was um, good?”; “He was hot, right? You guys saw him?” But now you’ll be able to fill in all the good stuff.