Marriage Archives - Page 6 of 6

I’m About to Celebrate 7 Years with My Boyfriend (and No We’re Not Getting Married Yet!)

April 5, 2019January 22, 2024 by Kate Oczypokin DATING ADVICE, RELATIONSHIPS1 Comment

This May, I will have been dating my boyfriend for seven years.

On May 10, 2012, I was sitting at a lunch I had to report on for work. I was high on life, having just started dating a really sweet guy. I was daydreaming during the event when I got a text message saying “Guess what?” from the guy. I replied with a simple “What?” and moments later got a response: “I have the best girlfriend ever.” After that, I don’t remember much else from that work lunch.

Now, almost seven years later we are preparing to celebrate another anniversary together. I am certain come May 10th, I’ll get multiple questions as to why we aren’t married yet.

Being a Traditional Person in a Long-Term Relationship

Growing up, I was always a very traditional person. A self-described hopeless romantic, I couldn’t help but adore a good love story. I loved (and still love!) movies like When Harry Met Sally and Sleepless in Seattle.

I always thought I’d grow up and get married and have a couple kids by now. Granted, I still definitely want to marry and have children—just maybe not the five or six I wanted when I was 13!

From Year Two On, Everyone Bugged Us About Marriage

Since I’ve been dating my boyfriend, within about two years we started getting the question: “when are you two going to get married?”. We’ve brushed it off since then every year. People always preach individuality and doing things on your own time, but I can’t tell you how many people have wondered why we aren’t married yet.

I usually post a collage of photos of the two of us on social media every anniversary, mostly for the memories I can look back on when they pop up each year. Now that I’m about to celebrate seven years with my partner, part of me does not want to post a said collage as I know I will get the inevitable ring emoji with a question mark or another questionable comment about marriage.

The funny thing is, those questions often come from acquaintances or friends I’m not particularly close with. My best friends and family, they have every right in the world to talk to me about it (mostly because I occasionally chat with them about my relationship anyway).

People who I haven’t seen in person since high school? Slow your roll. Trust me, my boyfriend and I– We’ve got this.

Being True to Who I Am AKA Not Giving in to Marriage Pressure

To those who are going through something similar, it’s important to remember to be true to your own relationship. Things take time and what’s great for another couple may not be the right thing for you.

I’ll admit from about years four through six, I was that person who bombards me with questions. The self reflection I constantly had made me wonder why I was the “odd one out” and not getting married just yet. My anxiety about the issue climbed as friends and siblings started getting engaged, married and then pregnant.

Within the past year though, I started to realize that if or when my boyfriend and I do get engaged, it needs to be the perfect timing. The spark has to be perfect, the place we are in our relationship, and within ourselves, needs to be right. Without it, the engagement is bound to fail. Call it my romanticism mixed with a bit of maturing realism, I know that things have to feel right for a relationship to work. I used to be all about trusting with your heart—now I have a little bit of my head thrown in too.

Why I’m Waiting to Get Married

I am waiting to get married for a few reasons. First of all, I am still traditional—I am waiting for that magical proposal from my boyfriend. It doesn’t need to be fancy. I have literally told him that I wouldn’t mind if our dog came in with the ring around his harness.

Some have questioned why I’m still waiting. It’s simple: I love my boyfriend. I think there will be a point where I’ll need to make a decision about our future, but for now things are wonderful. We have our own little “family” together with our dog, we share a spacious apartment, I love my job. Why shake things up when I love life so much right now, at this very moment? Not to mention, I shouldn’t (and you shouldn’t!) have to answer to anyone when they ask you why—why are you not married, why don’t you have kids yet?

Learning that It’s Okay to Wait

These days, we have so many pieces of technology easily at our fingertips. Do you want to order falafel from your favorite Mediterranean spot? Click on Uber Eats on your phone—boom, ordered. Our decision making is often split-second in today’s times.

Basically, what I’m saying is, getting engaged is a huge decision. It’s not something to be taken lightly, so if you are dating for enough years you can count on a whole hand (or more) that’s perfectly okay! It’s important to really get to know the person and to make sure you want to spend the rest of your life with them.

If your best friend is married and expecting her first child, just take a deep breath. Remember, that’s great it works for her but it might not work for you at this particular time. I’m glad my boyfriend and I are taking our time with things. It’s part of what makes our relationship unique and special. That is why I’ve decided I may just have to put those hesitant feelings aside and embrace my annual collage again this year.

Who cares what other people think, right? Just be you, enjoy life and have fun doing it—I know I plan to.

Feeling single and frustrated? Take a deep breath and read this.

10 Creative Proposal Ideas Perfect for All Relationships

July 10, 2019January 22, 2024 by Kate Oczypokin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

When the weather gets warm, one can say love is in the air.

If you’re thinking of getting married, the good news is that these days, it doesn’t matter who proposes to whom. There are so many different types of relationships out there, there are no rules when it comes to proposals anymore.

Here are 10 creative proposal ideas perfect for all relationships.

1. Hide the ring in a pocket.

I just adored this idea when I heard it was how my best friend was planning on proposing to his now wife. He bought her a dress from her favorite store and knew how much she loved dresses with pockets (don’t we all?). He bought tickets to an opera, mentioned he bought her a new dress for the event and it was on the bed and to go try it on. She did, realized there were pockets and stuck her hand right in, finding the ring. Cue the happy tears!

2. Do it at a place significant to you both.

Two of my three sisters are engaged now and their fiancés both proposed in super sweet ways. What tied them together was that the two used places significant to them. My middle sister’s fiancé drove them to my parents’ lake house, took out my dad’s boat (with his permission) and proposed to my sister in the middle of the lake. The lake, called Lake Latonka is very special to us all as it was where my grandparents lived when we were growing up and we had plenty of fond memories there. My youngest sister’s fiancé took the two to Cleveland to celebrate their eighth (!) anniversary (yes they are high school sweethearts!). The fiancé insisted my parents and his come up to surprise my sister while recording the whole proposal from afar. It was too cute!

3. Create a proposal scavenger hunt.

This one may take a bit longer to put together and may require help from some friends. Think about your partner’s favorite places. Maybe they love Starbucks lattes, jogs in a park or twist cones at a certain ice cream parlor in town. Take them around to their favorite places, leaving clues everywhere until they figure out where you’re hiding, with the ring of course.

4. Channel your inner child with glow-in-the-dark ceiling stars.

I would honestly love this if my boyfriend took the time to do this if we end up getting engaged someday. This also works only if you live together already or if you are sleeping over one night. You know those glow-in-the-dark stars you had on your ceiling as a kid? Grab a whole bunch of them and spell out “MARRY ME?” on your ceiling. As you get into bed that night, turn off the lights and gaze up at the ceiling. Watch your partner gasp in surprise and excitement.

5. Five words: A picnic and a skywriter.

While a picnic is relatively inexpensive, a skywriter is not. This is an idea for those who are willing or able to drop a serious amount of dough. Take a romantic picnic—think wine, cheese, a baguette—and head to a romantic spot in your city or town. Have a skywriter write out “Will you marry me?” in the sky.

6. Utilize your significant other’s job.

If your girlfriend is a teacher, ask permission to have their class help with the proposal by holding up letters that spell out marry me. If your boyfriend is a firefighter, ask the station to help with a proposal using a fire truck and a banner that says “Marry Me?” There are countless ways to use your significant other’s job to help with a creative marriage proposal.

7. Go berry picking and pop the question.

This is a cute way to pop the question. While you’re picking your favorite berry of choice, yell for your partner to come over that you’ve found the best, juiciest looking one. When they run over, whip out the ring!

8. Use your pet.

When our dog was still around, this was all I wanted my boyfriend to do to propose to me. It’s super easy and for animal lovers, they will just melt with joy. Simply tie the engagement ring onto your pet’s collar with a ribbon and ask them to come for a treat. Say “hey what’s that around their collar?” and well, the rest will be history.

9. Use sparklers this 4th of July.

Surround an area safe for sparklers using either ones with long stems to stick in the ground, or using your significant other’s loved ones to stand in a circle. Bring your partner into the middle of the circle and get down on one knee. Don’t forget to have someone photograph the gorgeous moment.

10. Take a walk on a rainy day and use a big golf umbrella.

Ever since I saw Midnight in Paris, I’ve been obsessed with the romance of walking in the rain. This proposal idea involves a giant gold umbrella and getting your future fiancé to take a walk in a rainstorm with you. Before you take that walk, write on the inside of the gigantic umbrella in waterproof sharpie, “Will you marry me?” Chances are, shortly after that you’ll be sharing a kiss together underneath that umbrella. I am smiling just writing about how beautiful this could turn out.

A Honeymoon to Remember, 10 Years of Love in the Making

November 5, 2020January 22, 2024 by Micah Carterin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

How our love began?

Sooo on July 23, 2011, he likes to say I was bored on Facebook, which is what one is when they decide to scroll facebook lol. Anyway, I came upon his sister Kara’s page and I saw a pic of him so I texted her “your brother is cute.” To which she replied, you saw him? Unbeknownst to me, he was living in GA and only lived about 15 mins from me. She then said that I should send him a friend request to which I responded why, so he can say who the hell are you? Lol, she said no I’ll tell him about you. So I sent the request and a message saying who I was and whatnot, then I laid down to take a nap before I went out later that evening. When I woke up, he had messaged me back with his number. So, I called him and he ended up coming over that day and we sat and talked for a while till I realized it was getting close to the time I needed to leave. I went out with my friend that night and he sent me pics for his contact photo and that was over 9 years ago!

Dating👫🏾

One of our most memorable dates if you will, was the very first time we hung out at his home. We were sitting on his couch playing each other music. He asked me if he could kiss me, which was so refreshing because in my 29 years at the time, I don’t recall any man ever having asked to kiss me and I thought it was the nicest thing. Some time later in the evening, he asked me to dance to one of my all-time favorite songs by Musiq Soulchild who also happens to be his cousin.

Our first trip✈

We took our first trip before we were an official couple in January of 2012, which was 6 mos after we met and a month before we made things official. We went to St. Thomas; one of the Virgin Islands and had an absolute ball! From touring the mountaintop that has since burned down, walking the island in search of an open gas station, downing Painkillers at Megan’s Bay to making love in that very bay was a first and highlight!

How he proposed?

It was my birthday on August 28th in 2017 and we were in Australia because I love to travel for my birthday! We took the train from Perth to a town called Cottesloe and went to their infamous beach known for its beautiful sunsets along the Indian Ocean. We were playing music and just enjoying the sights and each other. I started playing Loved By You by Mali Music ft Jazmine Sullivan and I remember hearing him say this is perfect and then next thing I know he was on one knee in the sand. We shared some beautiful words and I said YES! After we took in the moment some more, we went to eat some fish and chips at a local restaurant and then took the train back to our Airbnb and remained on cloud nine for the rest of the trip across Australia to Melbourne, Sydney, Cairns, and then to New Zealand.

👰🏾🤵🏾Fast forward to just under 3 1/2 years to October 10, 2020, our Wedding Day! The whole thing was a blur lol but a beautiful one despite all the drama (losing bridesmaids one after another, vendors canceling, Covid-19) leading up to it. Our colors were red, black, and bling and it was a beautiful, hot day in Palm Springs, CA. Our wedding party consisted of friends and family we’ve known practically our whole life and some who just stepped in and increased their value in our lives substantially with grace. Our years of being together prepared us for marriage. Our trips to counseling, love for each other, failed 1st marriage for him, and my determination to succeed fuels this marriage of ours. Our day was the perfect blending of friends and family that has blossomed into new friendships and it was a beautiful thing to see. My husband and I don’t have any children together but together we have 5. He has 4 children from previous relationships that live with their mothers and I have a son who lives with us. During the reception, my son took the opportunity to let Joel know that he was going to start calling him Dad from now on since it was official! That was one of the absolute highlights of the night and my life to see their relationship reach that point of love.

🏖Happily Ever After

The night after we officially became Husband and Wife we left for Moorea and Bora Bora for our 10-day honeymoon. We spent 5 days and 4 nights on an island called Moorea a mere 30 min ferry ride from Tahiti. We stayed at the lovely Sofitel where we had a beachfront bungalow and the views were to die for. As most honeymooners, we spent a lot of our time consummating the marriage🤣 Honestly we were just happy to be away from responsibility and drama so we took in the views, got a massage, and met a few other guests, and kept it low-key for the most part.

Most Difficult Mix of Emotions

On our last full day in Moorea, we Iearned that my grandma had passed away and it was THE ABSOLUTE most difficult mix of emotions I’ve ever felt. Here I was, feeling so in love and happy with my best friend that I married just 5 days prior. Then boom came the 🔨 and I’m devastated that the woman who once cooked me breakfast before school, took pics of me in her yard and the reason I fell in love with taking pictures was gone!

Celebrating Our Love and Honoring Life

Thankfully, I had my husband by my side and another beautiful destination on the horizon to take my mind off it somewhat. We headed to Bora Bora the next day; a 45 min flight and subsequent 15 min boat ride and I was in awe! This was the perfect background for my impending photo shoots for the next 5 nights and 6 days. I couldn’t think of a better way to honor her, than by doing something I learned to love with her. The journey that Joel and I took to becoming one was easy in the sense that I never had to force how I felt for him but it was trying to go through all the things one does to see if love is enough. Love is a choice and I would choose him every single day!