You’re Asked! How to Say Yes or No to a Marriage Proposal

Answering a marriage proposal can be tricky business. A heartfelt, “Yes!” is the perfect response if that is truly what’s in your heart, but what if you’re not quite sure how to respond?

Don’t be caught off guard. If you’re in a serious relationship and think your partner might be getting ready to pop the question, start thinking now about how you’ll respond.

Ways to Respond to a Marriage Proposal

A marriage proposal is a pivitol moment for any relationship since the futures of two people are set in motion by the answer to the question. Sometimes a woman can see that proposal coming and already knows how she wants to respond. In other cases, her partner might just catch her off guard with a surprise proposal. No matter how that proposal comes, it’s important to think about your reply before you give an answer that is going to change your entire life.

Saying Yes

Naturally, saying yes is always easiest when you’re both on the same page and looking forward to building a life together. A simple, “Yes” is enough to seal the deal, but maybe you want to say a little more to make the moment as special for your partner as you can.

Some reply ideas include:

Happy couple who just got engaged
  • “Yes! I’ve wanted to say that to you for so long.”
  • “Yes, I can’t think of anything I want to do more than spend the rest of my life with you.”
  • “Of course I will. Was there ever any doubt?”
  • “You’re the love of my life, and my answer is yes, yes, yes!”

Saying No

Refusing a proposal is much tougher than saying yes. After all, you’ve probably been in a caring relationship for a while before your partner pops the question, and you don’t want to hurt his feelings even if you aren’t ready for marriage, don’t think marriage is a good idea at this point in the relationship, or don’t plan to marry.

In a situation like this, reply ideas include:

  • “I’m sorry. I care about you so much, but I don’t think we want all the same things in life. I think it would be wise if we didn’t marry, at least not right now.”
  • “I’m flattered that you care for me enough to want to marry me. I’m just not interested in getting married, and I think you should marry someone who can truly give you the love and commitment you deserve.”
  • “I think you’re wonderful, and I wish I could say yes, but I just don’t feel in my heart that we’re right for each other. You may not see that now, but when you do find the right person, you’ll be glad you’re still free to propose to her.”

Christmas Proposals: Private or Public

Planning a marriage proposal is awesome, especially if it’s on Christmas Eve.

While holidays can be special times to become engaged, Christmas proposals must be carefully orchestrated to avoid hurt feelings and awkward embarrassment no matter what the woman’s answer may be. When planning a Christmas proposal, the first consideration is which day to pop the big question.

Christmas Eve or Christmas Day

Man Presenting Golden Ring In Box Against Decorated Christmas TrFor some families, the majority of the celebration occurs on Christmas Eve with a traditional dinner, gift exchange, church service, or other annual ritual. In other families, the true holiday begins on Christmas morning. If you want a private proposal, the best bet is to opt for the day without the larger celebration, while a public proposal necessitates the day when everyone is gathered. Another consideration is where you will be that day – traditionally, a public proposal should occur with the bride-to-be’s family, and that consideration should take precedence over which day you propose. If your beloved is not close to her family, however, other arrangements are acceptable.

The Proposal: Public or Private?

Christmas celebrations invariably involve family and friends. If you want to propose during the holiday season, specifically near either Christmas Day or Christmas Eve, you must consider whether a public or private proposal would be more suitable.

Public Christmas Proposals

A public proposal is one that involves family members who may or may not be in on the secret. There are several ways to make a public proposal around family members and future in-laws:

  • A holiday toast asking the important question
  • Opening a gift that contains the engagement ring
  • Dressing up as Santa Claus but giving an engagement ring instead of a candy cane
  • Opening an “anonymous” holiday card with the question inside
  • Visiting Santa at the mall together to ask for your Christmas wish

If you do opt for a public proposal, be sure you have carefully judged your sweetheart’s reaction before asking the question. She may prefer a more private, intimate proposal followed by a public revelation. Furthermore, while a new engagement can add more significance and joy to a holiday celebration, a public rejection can awkwardly taint the holidays for everyone present.

Private Christmas Proposals

If you are uncertain of her answer, or if your girlfriend prefers a more intimate setting, a private proposal is the best option, followed by sharing the news with family and friends to add to the celebration. When proposing privately during the holidays, there are many ways to infuse the joy of the season with the romance of the ultimate question:

  • Viewing holiday light displays and asking for her hand amid their twinkling glow
  • Offering a private “special” gift that you want her to open early
  • Hanging the engagement ring on the Christmas tree and pointing it out so that she finds it
  • Arranging a unique seasonal excursion, such as a sleigh ride or ice skating
  • Watching a snowfall and remarking that not all ice is cold as you give her a diamond ring

A private proposal will not likely remain private for long because friends and family are visiting during the holidays. You can quickly spread the news of your engagement and add to the seasonal joy. If, however, the proposal is rejected or she needs time to consider her answer, a private proposal spares both individuals the embarrassment and awkwardness of public pressure.

Telling Friends and Family

Once you have proposed and she has accepted your offer, it is time to spread the news to family and friends with engagement announcements. Of course, a public proposal does this automatically, but you still need to contact the absent relatives via telephone, e-mail, or written note before they find out from other people. If you do choose to spread the word through the mail, never send a formal announcement, particularly to close relatives or friends. Formal wording will seem cold and distant, particularly during the holiday season when they were not privileged to be a part of the event.

After a private proposal, you can inform people of your new engagement through a holiday toast at dinner, or simply by making the announcement at a party. If you are not able to make a group announcement, sending holiday thank you cards is the perfect way to inform everyone of the change in your relationship. Likewise, telephone calls and e-mails are also perfect announcements.

The holiday season is filled with magic, wonder, and joy. Many couples choose to add romance to that special feeling by becoming engaged during the season. Whether you choose a public or private Christmas proposal, the special moment when she says “yes” will always be a treasured holiday memory.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

A Honeymoon to Remember, 10 Years of Love in the Making

How our love began?

Sooo on July 23, 2011, he likes to say I was bored on Facebook, which is what one is when they decide to scroll facebook lol. Anyway, I came upon his sister Kara’s page and I saw a pic of him so I texted her “your brother is cute.” To which she replied, you saw him? Unbeknownst to me, he was living in GA and only lived about 15 mins from me. She then said that I should send him a friend request to which I responded why, so he can say who the hell are you? Lol, she said no I’ll tell him about you. So I sent the request and a message saying who I was and whatnot, then I laid down to take a nap before I went out later that evening. When I woke up, he had messaged me back with his number. So, I called him and he ended up coming over that day and we sat and talked for a while till I realized it was getting close to the time I needed to leave.  I went out with my friend that night and he sent me pics for his contact photo and that was over 9 years ago!

happy black couple at the beach


One of our most memorable dates if you will, was the very first time we hung out at his home. We were sitting on his couch playing each other music. He asked me if he could kiss me, which was so refreshing because in my 29 years at the time, I don’t recall any man ever having asked to kiss me and I thought it was the nicest thing. Some time later in the evening, he asked me to dance to one of my all-time favorite songs by Musiq Soulchild who also happens to be his cousin.

fun at the beach

Our first trip✈

We took our first trip before we were an official couple in January of 2012, which was 6 mos after we met and a month before we made things official.  We went to St. Thomas; one of the Virgin Islands and had an absolute ball! From touring the mountaintop that has since burned down, walking the island in search of an open gas station,  downing Painkillers at Megan’s Bay to making love in that very bay was a first and highlight!

How he proposed?

It was my birthday on August 28th in 2017 and we were in Australia because I love to travel for my birthday! We took the train from Perth to a town called Cottesloe and went to their infamous beach known for its beautiful sunsets along the Indian Ocean. We were playing music and just enjoying the sights and each other. I started playing Loved By You by Mali Music ft Jazmine Sullivan and I remember hearing him say this is perfect and then next thing I know he was on one knee in the sand. We shared some beautiful words and I said YES! After we took in the moment some more, we went to eat some fish and chips at a local restaurant and then took the train back to our Airbnb and remained on cloud nine for the rest of the trip across Australia to Melbourne, Sydney, Cairns, and then to New Zealand.

happy black couple at the beach wearing towel

👰🏾🤵🏾Fast forward to just under 3 1/2 years to October 10, 2020, our Wedding Day! The whole thing was a blur lol but a beautiful one despite all the drama (losing bridesmaids one after another,  vendors canceling, Covid-19) leading up to it. Our colors were red, black, and bling and it was a beautiful, hot day in Palm Springs, CA. Our wedding party consisted of friends and family we’ve known practically our whole life and some who just stepped in and increased their value in our lives substantially with grace. Our years of being together prepared us for marriage. Our trips to counseling, love for each other, failed 1st marriage for him, and my determination to succeed fuels this marriage of ours. Our day was the perfect blending of friends and family that has blossomed into new friendships and it was a beautiful thing to see. My husband and I don’t have any children together but together we have 5. He has 4 children from previous relationships that live with their mothers and I have a son who lives with us.  During the reception, my son took the opportunity to let Joel know that he was going to start calling him Dad from now on since it was official! That was one of the absolute highlights of the night and my life to see their relationship reach that point of love.

happily married

🏖Happily Ever After

The night after we officially became Husband and Wife we left for Moorea and Bora Bora for our 10-day honeymoon. We spent 5 days and 4 nights on an island called Moorea a mere 30 min ferry ride from Tahiti. We stayed at the lovely Sofitel where we had a beachfront bungalow and the views were to die for. As most honeymooners, we spent a lot of our time consummating the marriage🤣 Honestly we were just happy to be away from responsibility and drama so we took in the views, got a massage, and met a few other guests, and kept it low-key for the most part.

mother and daughter

Most Difficult Mix of Emotions

On our last full day in Moorea, we Iearned that my grandma had passed away and it was THE ABSOLUTE most difficult mix of emotions I’ve ever felt. Here I was, feeling so in love and happy with my best friend that I married just 5 days prior. Then boom came the 🔨 and I’m devastated that the woman who once cooked me breakfast before school, took pics of me in her yard and the reason I fell in love with taking pictures was gone!

Celebrating Our Love and Honoring Life

Thankfully, I had my husband by my side and another beautiful destination on the horizon to take my mind off it somewhat. We headed to Bora Bora the next day; a 45 min flight and subsequent 15 min boat ride and I was in awe! This was the perfect background for my impending photo shoots for the next 5 nights and 6 days. I couldn’t think of a better way to honor her, than by doing something I learned to love with her. The journey that Joel and I took to becoming one was easy in the sense that I never had to force how I felt for him but it was trying to go through all the things one does to see if love is enough. Love is a choice and I would choose him every single day!