According to new research, there are 5 different stages of falling in love. It all starts with Butterflies, the first step towards Stability. Read more about the stages and find out where you are in your relationship!
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There’s a commonly held belief that sex in marriage is boring and predictable, but the truth is, it can be as exciting as you want it to be! With Valentine’s Day fast approaching try these 5 tips for spicing up your normal routine and adding a little adventure in the bedroom!
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If you’re worried this year’s Valentine’s Day will just be a repeat of every other year with your spouse, then we have a list for you. There’s no reason the two of you can’t make the most of the day and spice things up to celebrate your love. These 6 tips will help you stay curious and give you and your partner a whole new perspective on Valentine’s Day!
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There’s a million different reasons to have sex, but did you know there are also several health benefits from it? Here are 13 reasons to have sex…for your health!
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Find out what happens when one of Hollywood’s favorite couples, Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard invite an intimacy coach into the bedroom. The results are hysterical!
Are we honest about sex? According to this research, not always! Find out the difference between what we say about our sexual habits and what data says is the the truth.
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Has your sex routine gotten a little stale? Maybe it’s time you and your partner brought a few new positions into the bedroom! These 24 diagrams will help get you out of your rut and into a whole new realm of pleasure!
glitterandnightmares.tumblr.com
Men’s Health / Via menshealth.com
These charts don’t apply to everyone, of course, but they’re interesting to look at nonetheless! See more about this at Do You Know Her Pleasure Points? via Men’s Health.
Jana Marie Soroczak for VitaminW / Via vitaminw.co
In case there’s any confusion at all. To learn more, read What Consent Looks Like atVitaminW.
Infographic by Jana Marie Soroczak for VitaminW.
Allison Pottasch for Swimmingly / Via swimmingly.com
Cute, right? Read more about the best and worst sleep positions for couples atSwimmingly.
Erika Moen / Via ohjoysextoy.com
Using condoms during sex is called the “barrier method” of protection. When used correctly, they’re 98% effective at preventing pregnancy (but when used incorrectly, they’re only 82% effective). Condoms can also be a good way to reduce your risk of contracting or spreading STIs. They don’t protect you against all STIs (some can be spread from skin-to-skin contact, for instance), but it’s a good place to start.
Worth noting: The best thing you can do for yourself in terms of protection against STIs: Get tested, know your status, and get treatment for any STIs that you do have. Not all are curable, but all can be treated to one degree or another. See more information about STI testing and treatment here.
Infographic via Erika Moen of OhJoySexToy.
John Warren Hanawalt / Via johnheartsdesign.com
Condoms aren’t the only barrier method in town. Depending on the sex act or the partner, you might benefit more from one of these other options.
Infographic by John Warren Hanawalt for Fenway Health.
Guttmacher Institute / Via guttmacher.org
Again, condoms alone won’t keep you safe and protected — it’s also vital to know your STI status, and get treated for any STIs that you do have (many of which don’t have obvious symptoms). Learn more here.
Women’s Health / Via womenshealthmag.com
Women’s Health Facebook followers shared their favorite sex songs (shown above). Any you’d add?
This is so, so important. Your sex life is your own, and you call the shots. Viasexedquestions.tumblr.com and sexpositiveblog.com.
David McCandless / Via informationisbeautiful.net
Hey, labels aren’t the worst thing ever, and monogamy isn’t necessarily for everyone. Isn’t it better to be honest and up-front about it?
Infographic via David McCandless of Information Is Beautiful, author of Knowledge Is Beautiful.
Women’s Health / Via womenshealthmag.com
Find out what makes these foods so ~sexy~ at 7 Foods That Boost Your Libido, viaWomen’s Health.
Men’s Health / Via pinterest.com
You don’t need ceiling mirrors or stripper poles to turn your bedroom into a verifiable sex den. Instead, you should make your bed as inviting as possible, according to Men’s Health. These 7 Sex Upgrades For Your Bed are a good place to start.
Illustrations by Patrick George for Women’s Health / Via womenshealthmag.com
For tips about how to do each of these moves, plus four more pregnancy sex positions, read Have Hot Pregnancy Sex: The Best Positions For Every Trimester, viaWomen’s Health.
Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed / Via buzzfeed.com
OK, so this isn’t a chart, but it is a great primer on all things BDSM (as in: all the things that you didn’t learn from reading or watching Fifty Shades of Grey). Check it out, and ready the handcuffs!
Men’s Health / Via pinterest.com
Thanks, Men’s Health! Read The 10 Worst Things That Can Happen To Your Penis for more on this topic.
Shea Strauss for Playboy / Via playboy.com
Glad we cleared THAT up. Flowchart by Shea Strauss for Playboy.
Alice Mongkongllite for BuzzFeed / Via buzzfeed.com
For more details on this, check out The Couples Bucket List You’ll Actually Want To Do.
World Lifestyle / Via worldlifestyle.com
Speaking of fitness for better sex… See 10 Ways Exercise Makes Your Sex Life Better (According to Science).
JimmyJane / Via visual.ly
Masturbation can be a totally normal part of your sex life, no matter your gender, and regardless of whether you have a partner or not.
Greatist / Via greatist.com
Via Greatist. WORTH NOTING: Per the infographic, all the costs listed are before health insurance. Under the Affordable Care Act, anyone with insurance can now get many types of birth control for free, without a copay. More on that here.
Planned Parenthood / Via plannedparenthood.tumblr.com
From Planned Parenthood’s Tumblr post: “Note: If you’re a trans guy who takes hormones, you should talk with your doctor and see what they recommend when it comes to taking emergency contraception. Unfortunately, right now there isn’t enough research that tells us how hormonal EC will affect you, so your best choice may be the non-hormonal ParaGard IUD.”
Tom Phillips / Via buzzfeed.com
Just say no.
Read the original article here.
Why are some orgasms better than others, even when there’s no obvious reason for a difference in quality? A new study has proposed an explanation: A woman’s orgasm helps her determine how good a partner the other person will be.
In other words, the stronger the orgasm, the more eligible the bachelor.
By surveying heterosexual female college students in committed relationships (and it’s worth noting that only heterosexual relationships were examined), researchers at the University of Albany looked at whether orgasm intensity, frequency, and sexual satisfaction are determined by a woman’s choice of mate.
The researchers found that the more frequently the women orgasmed, the more intense the orgasms were. What’s more, the “ideal” mate — someone who causes plentiful, and therefore powerful, female orgasms — is funny, highly attractive (with broad shoulders, specifically), self-confident, and has a high-earning family. Yes, you read that correctly: Women have stronger orgasms if their partner is rich.
The researchers said that “sense of humour not only predicted [a man’s] self-confidence and family income, but it also predicted women’s propensity to initiate sex, how often they had sex, and it enhanced their orgasm frequency in comparison with other partners.”
Now, this doesn’t mean you should start pining away for a broad-shouldered heir with a rapier wit, but the study does remind us that there’s more to sex than physical performance. Or maybe it’s a message to all the men out there in committed, heterosexual relationships: If you’re trying to please your significant other in bed, consider focusing less on technique and more on your joke delivery.
Are you and your partner stuck in a rut? Not having enough sex? Need a little more excitement? Try these 17 tips to re-energize your sex life!
1. Have Morning Sex At Least Once A Week
It has actually been scientifically proven that morning sex is great for you. Between being less self-conscious and the fact that your partner is already right there, it’s a great way to start the day. I love starting my day with an orgasm and watching my partner grin all morning for the same reason.
2. Don’t Be Afraid To Surprise Your Partner
Even those people who are adamant about not liking surprises enjoy surprises when it comes to sex.
I love to welcome my partner home with a sex-related surprise. Whether I tell him not to say a word as I pull his clothes from his body, or greet him with nothing but a sly grin, it’s fun for both of us. The key here is not to do it too often. Surprises are meant for special occasions.
3. Take An Evening To Share Your Ultimate Fantasies
Once you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, you’ve tackled the awkward stuff and can truly open up — especially when it comes to sharing your fantasies. My partner and I are really open about what turns us on and accepting of what the other wants. We try to fulfill these desires or, at the very least, find a common ground. We’ve also learned that some fantasies can’t be fulfilled, and that that’s OK, too.
Set a specific night aside to discuss your fantasies. Chances are, even if you don’t think you have any, you’ll discover something after talking for awhile.
4. Flirt Like You Mean It
Too many people think flirting is what you do to lure the object of your affection into your clutches — but it’s more than that. Flirting is playful and fun, so throwing your partner a wink is a friendly reminder that you’re still hot for them, even when you’re not in the bedroom. I think I’ve perfected my flirting game since I’ve been in my long-term relationship, which is great for when we break up. I kid!
5. Make A Plan to Try One New Sex Position a Month
The Kama Sutra exists for a reason — and it’s not to give Cosmo more fodder for impossible sex positions that “your man will love!” Although it does include 64 sex acts, it’s also a guide on all things amorous, including reaching ultimate intimacy during these positions. Sure, you won’t be able to master them all, (and besides, who really wants to stand on their head during sex), but trying some out, especially these ones, can be fun.
6. Get To Third Base Someplace Public-ish
The world is your oyster! (Hee hee.) There are so many places where you can have sexy times with your partner, so keeping it just in the bedroom isn’t an option. Spice it up! I’m not suggesting you take to a public bench for all to see, but with discretion and creativity, you can make it happen in more places than you know.
7. Meet Each Other For The First Time — Again
While personally, I think the whole school girl role-playing thing is played out, what I do love is meeting my partner at a bar and pretending we’re strangers. We actually like to play this game when we’re on a plane, too. We play ourselves, only we pretend we don’t know each other yet. There’s nothing better than meeting each other for the first time all over again, and remembering why you fell for them in the first place.
8. Make Out. Often.
Making out is so underestimated. Think about it this way: You’re probably with your partner now because it all started with a kiss, so why would you let making out go now? Don’t only think of making out as something that has to lead to sex — try appreciating it on its own, and seeing where that leads.
I could kiss my partner for hours, if only we both had the time. Damn these full time jobs! I guess we’ll have to wait for retirement to get that happening.
9. Take Advantage Of Technology
If only I had a penny for every time I sent my partner a sext, I’d be a very, very wealthy woman. Sexting, if you haven’t done it yet, is, in one word, fantastic. It’s basically the technological version of foreplay, and a perfect way to get both you and your partner in the mood. It’s also a great way to liven up your oh-so-long and exhausting work day. Think of it this way: at least you know you can trust them.
10. Watch Porn Together
Contrary to decades-old misinformation, women are watching porn just as much as men, and they’re loving it, too. Although we may have different things that turn us on than men do, you can, if you look around, find something that you both enjoy. If visual porn isn’t your thing, then written erotica (my personal favorite), is something to definitely give a try.
11. Tease Each Other
Teasing is awesome. Whether you do it with facial expressions or in a more hands-on way, it gives fuel to the sexual fire. My teasing of my partner is relentless. I just can’t help myself, then when I see that he’s getting all hot and bothered about it, I just turn it up a few notches.
12. End Every Argument With Make-Up Sex
Sometimes I think I subconsciously deliberately provoke my partner just so we can have make-up sex. Because even when it’s a legitimate argument, like who ate the last slice of pizza, we always make sure to end it in a romp. Hey, if you’re going to have a disagreement with your partner, you might as well conclude it with a bang.
13. Play ‘Everything But’
I love this game! As much as I love sex, the game of doing everything but intercourse is a great way to explore other avenues in getting each other off. You may also end up surprising each other, and appreciating intercourse more.
14. Communicate What Feels Good (And What Needs Work)
The most important part of having good sex is communication. If your partner goes down on you and clearly has know idea what they’re doing, it’s your job to give direction. You absolutely have to share what feels good and what doesn’t if you want to get the most out of your sex life. As our sexual health columnist Emma Kaywin likes to say, ”communication is the best lubrication.”
15. Add Sex Toys To The Mix
I write about sex. A lot. Because of this, I’m constantly getting new and exciting toys to try out. Sometimes they fall flat, because seriously, what am I supposed to do with terrifying mask from The Town? But a lot of them make for some experimental fun. It’s OK to bring in a little outside help in the form of toys — they really do add to the sexual experience.
16. Embrace The Magic Of Foreplay
Foreplay is amazing! And the longer you can extend it, the better. While a quickie is fun sometimes, devoting lots and lots of time to the build up to the big finale is really hot. I’ve always found that the longer the foreplay, the better the actual sex. It makes for one hell of an explosive orgasm.
17. Put Your Pride On The Line
I have, on more than a few occasions, tried to do a striptease — granted, it usually ends up being a disaster. I’ve yet to take off my underwear with the grace and seduction of a pro, but at least I try. It’s hard for me to put myself out there, but even as I stumble in my attempts to be sexy, my partner is still into it.
Even more importantly, it’s exciting for me to push myself outside my comfort zone. I’m making an effort, and that’s what being in a relationship is all about.
Curated by Michael
Original Article
There is a difference between sex and intimacy, and sometimes in a relationship, those two things can get separated. Once you reclaim that intimacy, you can find your relationship stronger than ever.
What is intimacy to you?
Chances are you picture hugs, and long talks staring deeply into each other’s eyes, and holding hands, and even enjoying the silence together. We love feeling totally emotionally connected to another human being–especially our husbands.
Yet most husbands’ definition of intimacy would likely involve far less clothing and far more action. To them, intimacy tends to be sexual. When we open ourselves up sexually, they feel invigorated, accepted, and needed.
Because we both view intimacy differently, though, it’s easy to withdraw when we don’t feel like our needs are being met. When he doesn’t listen to our hearts or show affection, we can easily feel hurt and unappreciated. That makes us clam up. Then he starts feeling unloved and unappreciated because we aren’t making love, and he withdraws.
Have you ever been part of that domino effect, where everything just starts collapsing?
It’s exhausting.
That was me for the first few years of our marriage. I felt like the more he wanted sex, the less he must love me, because it meant that he loved me for what I could do for him, not just for who I was. His love felt conditional. But he felt the same thing about me!
So there we both were, both feeling like we were being loving, yet both feeling very unloved.
There’s a neat thing about the domino effect, though. When those dominoes start dropping, you can stop the disaster by getting ahead of it. Just do something differently!
With Christmas coming, many of us are eagerly looking for the perfect Christmas gift for our husbands, so that they’ll feel cherished and loved and respected. Perhaps the best gift we can give him is to make an attitude change ourselves, and decide that this year, we’re going to stop that domino effect. We’re going to start figuring out how to look forward to sex–and how to feel true intimacy when we do make love, too.
Seriously. Sleep is a real marriage issue. One of the main reasons that women don’t want to have sex, and have their libidos plummet, is that we’re just too tired. Getting rid of things off of your plate, going to bed at a decent hour, and carving out time for yourself during the day isn’t selfish at all. It’s putting a priority on your marriage!
Added Benefit: Sex helps you sleep better! You fall asleep faster, and you sleep more deeply. So now when I’m super tired, I don’t tell my husband “no”. I say, “come put me to sleep, baby!”
Your husband doesn’t want to be placated. He wants to be wanted. Saying “yes” to him while you lie there and don’t move very much isn’t going to make him feel ten feet tall; he’ll feel like a heel. If you are the one who starts, though, you show him that you do want this.
Added Benefit: If you initiate, you tend to be more active, which has the added advantage that you do things that feel good to you. Instead of him setting the stage, you can set the stage and steer things into a direction that feels great to you!
Have you ever been making love to your husband when the thought suddenly occurs to you, “is there milk in the fridge for breakfast?” As soon as the thought’s in there, you start adding to it. “What else do I have to pick up at the grocery store tomorrow?” And before you know it your mind is gone.
We women are multi-taskers, but this is one area where that’s a very bad idea. If your head isn’t in the game, your body won’t follow. So when you are making love, make it a practice, even if it’s difficult, of not letting your mind go anywhere else. He’ll likely notice the difference immediately, since that will likely make you more active all at once.
Added Benefit: When we concentrate on what’s going on, we also feel more intimate ourselves, and we feel more loved, because it becomes more emotional and less clinical.
Finally, maybe one of the reasons it’s hard for you to jump on the bandwagon is because making love has never felt that stupendous. The earth has never moved and you start to wonder what all the fuss is about.
That’s normal. When I wrote The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex, I found out that it took on average about sixteen years of marriage for things to begin to work like clockwork. It isn’t automatic. And that’s perfectly okay.
As you get better at communicating, as you trust more, as you become more vulnerable, sex will improve. But sometimes you also need a little bit of help! Get a book that can help you learn how to make your body feel good. Find a book to work through together (like my 31 Days to Great Sex). Even put the book in his stocking, with a letter, saying that you want 2014 to be the year that you both really connect.
Added Benefit: You’ll start to feel those fireworks, too! And the more your body starts to respond, the easier it gets to respond, so that it snowballs.
The best gift you can give your husband is to start valuing the things that he values, and that includes the way that he sees love. And as you do this, you’ll learn a special secret: sex is actually pretty great, and it isn’t just for him! So this Christmas, give him all of yourself. You may just find that you enjoy the present just as much.
Curated by Michael
Original Article
If you want to know if you’re really with the right person, the person you could actually partner with forever more, the one who could really love and trust and respect and admire and grow with you — not the one who does — but the one who could, I have a real test for you. The Pussy Test.
You see those other tests all the time, those tests and lists about how to know if you’re with the right person. She makes you laugh. He’s seen you at your worst. She loves a night in as much as a night on the town. You fight and make up.
I cheat on those tests. Always have. Yeah, she’s funny sometimes. Sure, he’s seen me with a cold. Yeah, we spend equal nights on the couch and on the dance floor. Sure, we’ve said some things with voices raised and later exchanged apologies, I say to myself, if I want it to be the right person, and the converse if I don’t.
It’s like those Cosmo quizzes. You know which responses will result in which score or category or whatever end game is at play. “Are you geeky sexy, classic sexy or closet sexy?” Question one — Would you prefer to: (a) play video games in your underwear; (b) wear a slinky dress and go out for a night on the town; or (c) cook a nice dinner at home and hopes he asks if he can stay the night.
Duh.
This test is different. I don’t care if you’re gay, straight, bi or otherwise — if you have a pussy, this test will work.
One night in bed, lay back on a whole mess of pillows in as comfy a position as possible with some lovely lighting at play. Nothing too bright, nothing too dim. You can wear a top, if you like, but nothing from the waist down. And ask your partner to sit between your legs. Ask her or him to sit comfortably between your legs and explore your pussy.
I mean really look and touch you sweetly and slowly and take her or his time. Ask her or him to take a look around, spread your pussy open, slip her or his finger up and down and around. Not in just yet. Have her or him massage your outer lips and pull back the hood of your clit and admire you.
Tell her or him what feels good. Invite her or him to ask you about your pussy, and what feels good. What is what. And where your on spots or spaces or edges are. When you’re ready, invite your partner to explore inside your pussy, too. Take your time. Give her or him the time and space and comfort and opportunity to feel the different textures and layers and depths. Talk about what you’re both experiencing.
What’s surprising or exciting. What feels good. Or doesn’t. When she or he hits a spot that you recognize as your G-Zone or your A-Zone, speak up. Or if you find that neither of you know what you’ve stumbled upon, just explore and enjoy and save the research and questions for later.
End your session with orgasm or not. Finish exploring when you feel seen, and she or he is filled with the requisite wonder.
I mean it.
You can shake your head or laugh or call it hippy dippy or whatever you like. But a woman’s pussy is a wondrous thing with the most amazing parts and abilities, and it is simply not given its due in our culture. We are over-sexualized in theory, and under-experienced in practice. It’s time to get in there.
And this isn’t just a test for your partner. It’s for you too, because if you don’t feel comfortable asking the person you’re with to do that, you have to question your relationship with your body and your sexuality. If that relationship is in question, if you’re not whole in that way, how can you be expecting to find a relationship with another human that’s whole?
This test is about pulling back the layers, literally and figuratively.
In lesbian sex, in general, it’s tougher to ignore the pussy. A number of the positions and acts require full confrontation, as it were. But PIV (penis in vagina) intercourse can allow the pussy — and more sadly, the clit — to be universally ignored. He can slide in and back out again without ever giving any real consideration to just what exactly he is slipping in and out of. Certainly, the same can happen between two women. But the logistics alone make that less likely.
This test is about real intimacy and real pleasure and real connection between two people.
This test won’t tell you if you’ve found the one. But, neither will those other tests or lists. One thing is for sure though, this one will certainly tell you if she or he is even a candidate.
Curated by Michael
Original Article
IT’S easy to see how women benefit from equality — more leadership positions, better pay at work and more support at home. Men may fear that as women do better, they will do worse. But the surprising truth is that equality is good for men, too.
If men want to make their work teams successful, one of the best steps they can take is to bring on more women. This fall, the Internet sensation Alibaba went public after achieving years of extraordinary growth as China’s largest e-commerce company. The founder, Jack Ma, explained that “one of the secret sauces for Alibaba’s success is that we have a lot of women.” Women hold 47 percent of all jobs at Alibaba and 33 percent of senior positions.
Research backs him up. Studies reveal that women bring new knowledge, skills and networks to the table, take fewer unnecessary risks, and are more inclined to contribute in ways that make their teams and organizations better. Successful venture-backed start-ups have more than double the median proportion of female executives of failed ones. And an analysis of the 1,500 Standard & Poor’s companies over 15 years demonstrated that, when firms pursued innovation, the more women they had in top management, the more market value they generated.
Some men might wonder whether these benefits for the organization, and for women, might come at their individual expense, and ask, will I end up lower on the corporate ladder?
No. Equality is not a zero-sum game. More profits mean more rewards and promotions to go around. The risk is in not including women. Teams that fail to leverage the skills of a diverse work force fall behind. Two chief executives, John T. Chambers of Cisco, and Carlos Ghosn of the Renault-Nissan Alliance, have said that they can’t be competitive in the global economy without increasing their percentage of female executives.
In a previous article, we highlighted why men ought to share the “office housework” — taking notes, planning meetings and helping others. Doing more actual housework matters, too. Research shows that when men do their share of chores, their partners are happier and less depressed, conflicts are fewer, and divorce rates are lower. They live longer, too; studies demonstrate that there’s a longevity boost for men (and women) who provide care and emotional support to their partners later in life.
If that isn’t exciting enough, try this: Couples who share chores equally have more sex. As the researchers Constance T. Gager and Scott T. Yabiku put it, men and women who work hard play hard. One of us, Sheryl, has advised men that if they want to do something nice for their partners, instead of buying flowers, they should do laundry. A man who heard this was asked by his wife one night to do a load of laundry. He picked up the basket and asked hopefully, “Is this Lean In laundry?” Choreplay is real.
Stepping up as a father also benefits men. Caring for children can make men more patient, empathetic and flexible and lower their rates of substance abuse. At Fortune 500 companies, when fathers spend more time with their children, they’re more satisfied with their jobs. And fatherhood itself has also been linked to lower blood pressure and lower rates of cardiovascular disease.
But the greatest positive impact may be on the next generation. Research in numerous countries reveals that children of involved fathers are healthier, happier and less likely to have behavioral problems. They are also more likely to succeed in school and, later, in their careers. A powerful study led by the University of British Columbia psychologist Alyssa Croft showed that when fathers shouldered an equal share of housework, their daughters were less likely to limit their aspirations to stereotypically female occupations. What mattered most was what fathers did, not what they said. For a girl to believe she has the same opportunities as boys, it makes a big difference to see Dad doing the dishes.
The flip side is true, too — sons reap rewards when their mothers have meaningful roles at work. Years ago, psychologists found that a surprisingly high number of America’s most creative architects were raised by “distinctly autonomous mothers” who were leaders in their communities or accomplished professionals. And in a recent study by the researchers Kathryn H. Dekas of Google and Wayne E. Baker of the University of Michigan, the people who found their jobs most meaningful and enjoyable were those whose fathers and mothers were highly engaged at work.
When children see their mothers pursuing careers and their fathers doing housework, they’re more likely to carry gender equality forward to the next generation. And when we make headway toward gender equality, entire societies prosper. Twenty-five percent of United States gross domestic product growth since 1970 is attributed to the increase in women entering the paid work force. Today, economists estimate that raising women’s participation in the work force to the same level as men could raise G.D.P. by another 5 percent in the United States — and by 9 percent in Japan and 34 percent in Egypt. “We’ve seen what can be accomplished when we use 50 percent of our human capacity,” writes the investor Warren Buffett. “If you visualize what 100 percent can do, you’ll join me as an unbridled optimist about America’s future.”
To make gender parity a reality, we need to change the way we advocate for it. The usual focus is on fairness: To achieve justice, we need to give women equal opportunities. We need to go further and articulate why equality is not just the right thing to do for women but the desirable thing for us all.
The women’s suffrage movement in the late 19th century provides a good case study. States did not grant voting rights when women campaigned for justice; suffrage laws got passed only when women described how having the right to vote would enable them to improve society. Similarly, during the civil rights movement, the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was careful to emphasize that racial equality would be good for everyone.
Many men who support equality hold back because they worry it’s not their battle to fight. It’s time for men and women alike to join forces in championing gender parity. Tell us how you’re leaning in for equality in the comments section here or on Facebook using the hashtag #leanintogether.
Curated by Karinna
Original Article
The foundation of a strong marriage starts long before you tie the knot. Before marrying the love of your life, you have to know there are promises both of you must keep. These 10 promises can prepare you and the one you love for the rest of your life.
I’m starting off with an important one. I have said it before and I’ll say it again — anyone can stand by your side during the sunny days. The real test of character is whether or not they will hold the umbrella over you during the stormy days.
When making a lifelong commitment to someone, you are committing to being there for them “in sickness and in health.” Sickness — may not be a common cold. It may be a large, life-altering challenge. It may be the sickness of a family member. Maybe, your own sickness. It may not necessarily be a literal health challenge, but perhaps a rough patch in life that tests your commitment and love. You are not pledging to be a fair weather spouse and only be there when times are good. You are pledging to be there — always.
Yes, strive for success. Yes, go for that promotion at work. Yes, hustle to take your business to the next level. But be very careful not to destroy your relationship through neglect in the process. Before you were a CEO or a high-powered attorney or a doctor, you were a man or woman who fell in love. You are a human being who is intimately and emotionally connected to another human being.
Even the greatest accomplishments in life lose their meaning when we have lost the person we always wanted to share them with. The key is to find a balance. To build off of your relationship as a foundation. To appreciate your teammate as part of your success as he or she supports you along the way. Letting the scales tip too far in either direction will only lead to disaster.
As an extension of the previous point, sometimes life gets crazy and we lose sight of things by accident. One of these things can easily be letting our significant other know how much he or she means to us, daily. One of the biggest problems in long term relationships is lack of gratitude. When someone feels taken for granted it can easily breed resentment and a whole slew of other problems that will eat away at your foundation.
You’ll know you’ve found the right partner when they keep showing you how much you mean to them, long after they’ve already committed to you.
In any happy, healthy relationship, it is important that the two individuals who are together still remain two individuals. Of course your lives are combined into one and you have become ‘us,’ but if either partner begins to lose sight of their hopes, dreams, hobbies, or whatever makes them, them — it can bring about a deep dissatisfaction that could be projected onto the relationship.
This is another reason why self development is so important, as well as personal growth. We need to be sure to not only grow as a couple, but also as individuals alongside each other.
A step beyond consistently reminding someone you love them is literally taking action to keep the spark alive. Spontaneous candle-lit dinners. A bath running when they get home from work. A weekend getaway for no reason.
When we start a fire, we cannot walk out of the room and expect it to keep burning forever. We need to continue to add logs to it and to stoke it. If we keep doing that, it will never go out. The problems arise when we stop giving it the attention it requires in order to continue burning.
Always keep stoking your fire.
I don’t have kids, so I can’t speak to the obviously large challenges that come along with it. But what I can do, is appreciate the importance of making them a priority in your life and doing everything you can to love, teach, and raise them into adults you can be proud of.
You can read all of the books you want, talk to all of the parents you want, and be as prepared as anyone could be — but one can imagine that there are endless unique challenges that every set of parents face. When you make the promise to your husband or wife that you will do the best you can and figure it out together along the way — that’s exactly what happens.
We all have flaws. We all have insecurities. We all have things we want to change about ourselves. We cannot expect to like every single little thing about our spouse, but what we need to do is promise that we accept all of their traits, and love them to their very core, just the same.
Yes, of course you should love someone’s beauty. Yes, of course you should be physically attracted to the person you are with. Yes, of course you should love making love to them. But all of these things are very different than loving someone for their beauty.
My mother and grandmother always said to never fall in love with someone for their hair, teeth, looks, or money — because they can lose all of it. When marriage is part of the conversation, when true love is part of the conversation, all of these things take a back seat to who this person is at their very center. In their heart. Who they would be if everything that made them beautiful got taken away. If it did, would you still love the person underneath it all?
Is this a contradiction to the previous point? I think not. There is an important distinction to be made between someone who reaches old age and someone who figures “hey, I’m married now, I can stop trying.” Of course bodies and appearance change as we age, but the point here is to not become a giant lump on the couch just because you’ve gotten yourself a husband or wife.
It is important we continue to live a healthy lifestyle. To eat right. To take care of the only body we have in this life. To show the man or woman you love that you will still put in effort for them and not become too comfortable. Just because you are in a long term, committed relationship, does not mean that your partner deserves a lesser version of you.
Scary, isn’t it? The rest of your life. Death. Possible illness. Forever. Hell yes, it’s scary. It scares the living daylights out of me, to be honest. I don’t want to get old, ever. I am watching my grandparents age and it kills me to think that we are all looking out into the same future. It is not romantic or glamorous or beautiful. And for them, they still have each other.
But, it is reality. It is love. It is commitment. And, it is marriage.
When you pledge the rest of your life to someone, that is exactly what you’re doing. I think this is so far outside of our realities that it’s almost not an ‘actual’ promise we feel like we are making. 50, 60, 70 years down the road? Who knows what the future will bring, anyway? We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it…
When you marry someone, though, you are making the promise that you will be crossing any bridges you reach together. You will do it whether you are walking side by side holding hands, or whether one of you is pushing the other in a wheelchair. You will cross each bridge you find along your journey with the quiet confidence that your partner is going to be stepping onto the other side with you.
How can you be sure they will be there?
Because they promised you.
Curated by Erbe
Original Article
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=je93vzro1Ow
Long distance relationships can be hard, especially the lack of intimacy. But thanks to computers and smartphones, there’s no reason the two of you can’t enjoy a little sexy time, even if it’s more digital than personal. There are a few drawbacks though…let this couple show you the harder parts of having Skype sex!
Curated by Erbe
There’s nothing less sexy than putting a number on how many times a month you and your partner should be having sex.
But in the Business Insider video above, psychotherapist and author M. Gary Neuman suggests that carving out time for sex may be the key difference between happily married couples and unhappily married ones.
While working on his “Creating Your Best Marriage” video series, Neuman and his team polled more than 400 women and found that unhappily married women had sex three to four times a month while happily married women had sex 11 times a month.
“Believe it or not, it was not about the satisfaction of the sex, it was about the frequency versus infrequency,” he says of his 2009 research in the clip above.
So what’s Neuman’s best advice for fostering the kind of intimacy that leads to a little action between the sheets? First, you need to emotionally connect with your spouse.
“Sexuality in marriage is connected to the emotional connectedness of the spouses but sometimes that time needs to be planned out,” Neuman told The Huffington Post. “Go out on a weekly date night and talk about anything except the three subjects you always discuss: money, work, and kids. Those conversations aren’t what made you fall in love with each other and they won’t sustain your love either.”
Curated by Amber J.
Original Article
