Are You Turned On By Both Naked Men and Women?

Straight women who are turned on by both naked men and women are considered to be “bisexual or gay, but never straight,” say researchers. Pixabay, Public Domain

What turns women on? This question has baffled men for ages. A groomed beard, a generous penis size, or a sexy cologne are all tried and true, but science has found something else that sexually arouses women — other women. According to a recent study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, eye tracking devices found videos of both naked men and women caused straight women’s pupils to dilate, signaling sexual arousal.

Even though the majority of women identify as straight, our research clearly demonstrates that when it comes to what turns them on, they are either bisexual or gay, but never straight,” said Dr. Gerulf Rieger, lead researcher of the study from the University of Essex’s Department of Psychology, according to The Telegraph.

Women’s sexual preferences tend to be a gray area. A 2011 study from Boise State University found 60 percent of heterosexual women admitted to being attracted to other women, while 45 percent had kissed another woman. Fifty percent of those participants also reported same-sex sexual fantasies. Based on these results. the researchers suggested women are more affectionate with other women because of their friendlier nature. In turn, this presents an opportunity for intimacy or even romantic feelings to develop.

Although previous research has shown women are sexually aroused by both sexes at varying degrees, the differences in arousal between straight and gay women has been overlooked. Which is where this study comes in.

To clearly define the differences in the physiological sexual responses of straight and gay women, Rieger and his colleagues used eye tracking devices on over 300 women who were shown videos of both naked men and women. The devices were used to capture pupil dilation (or lack thereof) in response to the sexual stimuli.

The findings revealed straight women were strongly sexually aroused by videos of both attractive men and women, even if they chose men as their sexual preference. This was in stark contrast to lesbian women who showed much stronger sexual responses to their preferred sex — women. Lesbians were seen as more “male-typical” in their arousal than women, meaning their responses seemed to align more with those of men, and were therefore distinct from other women.

Prior to the study, the researchers theorized since lesbians can be more masculine in their non-sexual behaviors (like the way they dress), they are also more likely to be masculine in their sexual responses. However, Rieger and his colleagues did not find supporting evidence to prove masculine-behaving lesbians always exhibited male-typical sexual arousal patterns. This suggests how women appear in public does not say anything about their sexual role preferences.

“Although some lesbians were more masculine in their sexual arousal, and others were more masculine in their behaviors, there was no indication that these were the same women,” said Dr. Rieger, in the press release.

The truth is straight women, not just lesbians, ogle at beautiful women. For straight women, these sexual fantasies and feelings of intimacy and romance with another woman may be projected onto their porn viewing habits. A recent study by Pornhub found lesbian content is the most popular among women, with “ebony lesbian” and “girl on girl” among the most common search terms. This highlights women are watching more porn than we might expect.

Remember, these findings should not be generalized because not all women have same-sex fantasies. Rather female sexual desire is a complex subject and unique to each and every woman. After all, “men are simple, but women’s sexual responses remain a mystery,” Rieger said.

Sources: Rieger G, et al. Getting in touch with our female sexuality. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 2015.

Morgan EM and Thompson EM. Processes of Sexual Orientation Questioning Among Heterosexual Women. Journal of Sex Research . 2011.

Women. Journal of Sex Research. 2011. Pornhub and The Daily Beast. More of What Women Want. 2015.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Unrequited Love: Falling for Someone Who Prefers the Opposite Sex

Unrequited love: am I like the girls I feel sad for?

So, one time, I fell hard for a guy. Relationships were only a concept that existed in fairy tales as far as I was concerned.  But, one day I met a guy who I thought was interested in me, and I decided if he asked me out I would say yes. We were always excited to see each other. We always spoke whenever the opportunity came, and I thought maybe something would happen.  But then he would say let’s hang and then not follow through. Or he would go days without texting, and I thought to myself: am I like the girls I feel sad for? The ones who settle for crap boys who don’t treat them well just because I wanted something to happen so badly?

It turned out he was gay!

He was attentive and interested in me as a friend! He cooked for me, invited me to things, said kind things about me. And I thought this was the behavior of a man interested, but it was the behavior of someone who liked me as a person, albeit semi sucky friend (cuz you don’t keep flaking on people!) That was strange, and devastating. Here I was, ready to believe that romance was not something that only belonged in books, movies, and songs and I fell for the wrong person.

I wanted him so badly to be bisexual before the idea of dating a bisexual guy was a stretch for me. It showed me that I was willing to give up anything I stood for just to try love. And I felt sad for myself. As a serial single person I thought I was strong in who I was. The minute someone showed genuine interest I wasn’t who I believed I was. It’s amazing how feelings can change your convictions.

Convictions, perhaps, are circumstantial.

Back to the safety of unrequited love: if you fall for a gay guy your friends don’t have to know, and you can feel like an idiot privately. Now, I’m afraid that if a guy shows interest in me it’s because he’s gay. There are three guys I call friends and I assumed they were all gay. Just found out one wasn’t, at least that’s what he has us believe, and now I’m curious if I’ve just assumed that about the other two. The way I’ve seen these boys is who I’ve decided them to be. The one that I am currently interested in could easily be gay. But, I have no idea if it’s just my preconceived notions. Now I feel bad that I could fall for a gay guy twice.

I should be able to tell the difference between a guy who is kind and a guy who is gay. My toxic experience with men in my life have eclipsed my ability to trust.  I FIND THEM ALL SUSPICIOUS!

Pros and cons of unrequited love when it comes to a man whose sexuality you’re not sure about?


  • You have a great, kind man in your life
  • No one has to know you fell for a guy who could never fall for you


  • If you ask him sooner than you don’t have to waste your time falling for him
  • You don’t have to live in uncertainty
  • You could sleep better at night
  • You could move on with your life
  • You could stop beating yourself up
  • You could stop being a victim

The cons outweigh the pros! Perhaps, unrequited love is not safe at all. It’s very dangerous to the psyche, the soul, the heart. What if I lived my life open and honestly? What if I loved freely? Maybe I’d be happier. Maybe I wouldn’t be hiding pieces of who I am. I believe living partially in secrecy affects one wholly.

I don’t believe in the safety of unrequited love anymore.  I’m about to quote John Green so please forgive me, but “It hurt, because it mattered.” Love or feeling anything comes with vulnerability and it can hurt because it matters.

I have not taken my advice yet, “ I give very good advice, but I seldom follow it.” Bit of Alice in Wonderland there for ya, but I digress. It might take me two years, but I’ll get there. I hope in 2017 you and I could live our lives out loud! No more hiding!