When one couple found each other on Shaadi.com, they had everything working against them. Yet, they still found love.
“I wrote a very lengthy letter to her and tried to woo her with my words,” Darshan told Online Personals Watch editor Mark Brooks. Brooks has compiled a documentary on Indian dating. “Because that’s all you got apart from your profile picture.”
When he and his wife Pooja met she was searching for someone after a divorce. He had never been married. Darshan explained that there was a dramatic difference between those seeking a hookup and those seeking marriage.
“You know, there are a lot of freeloaders on the net, I realized,” she told Brooks. “The people who don’t pay for the websites, they are the ones who are actually there to fool around. So, I feel that, you know, don’t go for the free profiles because when someone’s paying it really makes a difference.”
While both of them set up their own accounts and were interacting with each other, some searching for the perfect mate end up with their parents creating their dating profiles. In the first installment of this series, we heard from one woman who opened her email only to discover an email conversation between her father and the father of a young man. Darshan and Pooja, however, went a different route.
The world’s oldest dating service helped them find love.
Many users of personals sites believe the same in the United States. Sites like Match.com, eHarmony, JDate and even fetish sites like FetLife all allow paid accounts that unlock a higher level of commitment to the dating adventure. While it isn’t necessarily always the case, those who are paying for matchmaking services or an online dating profile are usually seen as being more serious about finding a long term match.
Shaadi.com is an online wedding service founded by Anupam Mittal in the late 1990s. While the majority of its market is India, it operates globally to serve anyone willing to join. With over 35 million users, the site only allows you to message people with their premium service. As Pooja explained, the ones that are there to fool around aren’t paying to contact you.
Get rid of the wish list you have in your mind.
“Scrap off your wish list,” Pooja said about finding the right person. According to her, Darshan was different. First, the two were “poles apart,” which made her think they were already sunk. Already, because she is divorced, it limits her options, she explained.
Then, he sent the long and passionate email that made her think again.
She had a list of “criteria of what [a] husband should be,” she said. “Just destroy it, throw it. It doesn’t work.”
Sometimes having a list of things you want means you end up limiting your options. It might be one of the main reasons that a href=”https://lovetv.co/dating-caste-system-india/” target=”_blank” rel=”noopener”>the online dating world has flipped India’s caste system. For thousands of years, those in each caste only married within that caste. Today, a new generation of Indian youth are searching for another world. For Pooja and Darshan, that meant being willing to try anything to find a partner.
>Whether it’s a caste system, a demand your lover be a certain height or weight or even seeking out a nice doctor, consider looking outside your criteria. Pooja and Darshan knew that the right match can come from anywhere. Darshan wanted Pooja to take his interest seriously and give him consideration despite the differences. Anything is possible in love!
Read more from this series with Part 1: In India Your Parents Run Your Dating Profiles to Find You Dates and Part 2: Could New Dating Trends In India Help Turn Its Caste System Into A Thing Of The Past?.