The Full Spectrum: Engaging Oxytocin in Sexual Relationships

Firstly, the “oxytocin way” of having sex takes away the need. The goal of sexual interaction shifts from having an orgasm to being in a euphoric love connection, and re-orients us to a place where we’re feeling satiated by intimacy, even though were not having an orgasm. Instead of getting to a place where we are able to just have that sort of deep release of sensation, the goal of the oxytocin sex is to build and engage in a relationship.

In essence, we are learning to communicate with our body’s energy centers – and those of our sexual partner – in a very intimate way, and to do that we need to relearn the way of the “natural” flow of our body and our hormones.

The endocrine system produces and regulates our body’s hormonal activity. The gland known as the hypothalamus creates oxytocin, and it is stored in the pituitary gland, which then releases it to the rest of the body.

Like all systems, this works in complex feedback loop; one hormonal function in one gland then triggers the function of other glands in the system. That’s why I strongly recommend developing a full spectrum relationship – a relationship that engages all the elements in the octave of the body’s endocrine system:

• When you feel you have a higher purpose with a partner, it engages the crown center.
• Having a mental connection, similar mental patterns, being intuitively connected with one another person is a very important purpose of the pineal gland center.
• If you have good physical energy, and a similar range of physical energy, it engages the medulla oblongata, the nervous system center. If one person is extremely active and the other person is not, it can create a disconnection.
• The thyroid connection involves being able to really talk about your innermost feelings and desires, your emotions and your goals in life, and be able to deeply connect and share on a verbal communication level.
• The simple feeling of bonding and love, having a sense of independence while still having a connection, a relationship where you can really be yourself and be loved for it, relates to the thymus gland connection.
• The solar plexus connection is to be able to work together well in the physical dimension, to be able to create things, to be able to support each other and your joint life, to be able to be more powerful in the world together, in your own individual missions and hopefully in your joint purpose of being together.
• The womb and the prostate region has to do with being able to have a wonderful intimate social life, to have loving friends, have your needs met to be in a great community, to be a good fit, be good together as it comes to relating to your greater family.
• And then, finally, we come to the rectum, the root, which is the sex center of the body’s energy octave.

In my experience, the oxytocin connection is reached if we made sure that we have spiraled our energy together and come to a place where we are meeting someone on at least five of those areas – the rest you could work on. That’s a natural part of relationships. But connecting on any less than five areas out of eight can make the relationship quite difficult, not to mention a full spectrum connection difficult to achieve.

If you are meeting someone with the intention of having a full spectrum connection, oxytocin is triggered, naturally and simply. If you’re meeting someone for the purposes of just having sex, you’re skipping all the connections associated with the body’s energy centers and going straight to the sexual center. Oxytocin, which helps to create spiritual bonding on a biological level, also holds the code of your crown energy, which is how you are a divine being and how you are walking the planet and completing your spiritual mission on this planet. All that information is held in your crown center, which is where the oxytocin gets released.

When we experience the release of oxytocin, we feel like our emotional and spiritual needs are taken care of. We feel a strong bond with someone that we can trust. Trust is a huge factor in oxytocin release because, when we feel safe, we feel like we’re in the “right place” and we start functioning from a place of trust and safety, and relax into the relationship. The “soul’s code” triggers the master hormone – oxytocin – which in turn triggers all the rest of the glands in the body, creating a hormonal feedback loop (provided they are healthy enough to receive the messages and are in turn able to contribute to that feedback loop.) But when we’re randomly meeting someone and having sex, we’re not really able to feel that sort of connection, and we’re not able to feel the safety associated with the oxytocin loop.

In my opinion, yes, it is better to avoid just having sex, but rather to save it as an energy-center interaction with someone after we’ve connected through the other major parts of the body spectrum. And then, once were connecting in this deeper way, we can look into the person’s eyes and feel how deeply we’re connected with them on a soul level, how safe we are with them – and feel the natural flow of oxytocin, without creating a fake bubble of oxytocin (which creates a false sense of connection) or just chasing the dopamine rush of disconnected sex.