I started thinking about all the many, many excuses I come up with in my head to NOT go to the gym. I realized it is quite the impressive list of excuses. These are NOT embellished, and I HAVE used every single one of these reasons, at least in my brain, as a reason to NOT go to the gym. I don’t always share them out loud because they are embarrassing reasons. And, in this society of skinny girls, I should know better. I should care more. I should realize that if I want to find love again, or want people to find me desirable again as a human being, that maybe sitting around in my elastic waist black pants eating Girl Scout Tagalong cookies is not the best look. (they are amazing) But instead, I do not realize this, and I continue to not go to the gym. So here, In no particular order; are my Top 20 excuses / reasons why I can’t possibly go to the gym today:

20: It’s too hot outside. I don’t feel like getting in the car in this heat.

19: It’s too cold outside. I don’t feel like getting in the car in this cold.

18: It’s raining. I’m not going out in the rain. I might die.

17: It’s snowing. Again – I might die.

16: It’s too nice outside. Who wants to be inside a gym when it’s this beautiful out? (then I stay inside and watch My 600 Pound Life while eating a Pepperidge Farm cake right out of the box.)

15: There’s not enough gas in the car to get there. Oops. Guess I can’t go.

14: My bathing suit is still damp from last time I went. I can’t swim in a wet bathing suit!

13: There aren’t any clean towels, and they are always out of them at the gym. Looks like I’m staying home!

12: It’s a weekend day. It’s going to be SO PACKED! Screw it.

11: I can’t remember my locker combination.