Well, me and Little Debbie. We are in love.

All joking aside though, losing my husband to sudden death 5 years ago, has really put things into a whole new perspective for me. He was generally a pretty healthy guy. He was very active. He was young. He was a paramedic, so he understood the importance of taking care of yourself and exercising. And despite all of that –he dropped dead anyway. And after that happened, for a long time, I felt a lot of guilt. I felt guilty because I was the one who was overweight. I was the one who made excuse after excuse not to get in better shape and be healthier. I was the one who was, and is, a food addict. Why didn’t I have a heart-attack and die? Why him?

There are no answers to those kinds of questions, but losing him and living through that loss, has made me realize more than ever, that I need to take my health seriously. That we have a limited time on this earth, and that maybe stuffing my face with Pepperidge Farm Vanilla cake straight from the box ISN’T how I want to spend my time. (but it’s soooo amazing!)

When I do drag my ass out of my apartment and into a gym, or out for a walk, or a game of tennis, I feel so much better. I feel exhausted, and yet energized. And when I manage to do these things on a regular basis, I start to get motivated, because I really do want to be healthy. I don’t want to feel like Im 80 years old when Im only 45. I don’t want my knees to hurt when I climb the stairs. I don’t want to shop for size 22 jeans, or worry that I might be pre-diabetic. I want to feel good. I want to have energy. I want to feel inspired. So, I am going to make a vow to start making my health a priority. I’m going to choose life, because my husband doesn’t have that option. I want to live well. For him. For me. And for the simple reason that life is a gift, and gifts are precious. Stay tuned.