2. Just because they are older, it doesn’t mean they are going to pay for everything.
“He was pretty established, had more money,” Maya L. explained, describing the 37-year-old she had been with.
An older partner doesn’t always equate to a sugar daddy, or mama, though—even if they have the cash.
“If they have money, do they pay for more shit? Eh, they never have for me,” she recounted.
3. Open communication is key.
When you’re dating someone older, it’s easy to feel pressured to act older than you are. Part of being honest with one another is accepting that it’s okay to have different experiences. Being younger doesn’t inherently devalue your perspective.
“When we met I was 20 (almost 21) and he was 35,” a 23-year-old Los Angeles native who chose to remain anonymous, told ATTN:.
“My advice is simple—be aware of the age gap. I spent so much time telling myself that age didn’t matter when in the end, it totally did,” she reflected. “Whenever we fought, I would vent to my good friend who was dating someone 10 years older than her at the time, and she would constantly tell me “It sounds like you responded perfectly for someone who is 22 years old. It sounds like he’s not letting you be your age.””
She also discovered that some of her partner’s beliefs differed from hers, and realized that being younger didn’t mean she was in the wrong.
“Realize that your older partner grew up with different values than you, (which, [for me] proved to be a feat as a feminist dating an older man from the deep south). Be patient with one another,” she explained in an email.
It is also important to be clear about what you want from the relationship, even if the conversation feels a little stodgy.
“I do think you need to be clear on what a relationship means for both of you and yes, to a certain extent, what the future means for both of you, especially if marriage, kids, etc. is an open consideration down the line because the timing can feel either rushed or slowed down depending on who you are in the relationship,” a 25-year-old man in a relationship with a 29-year-old woman, who chose to remain anonymous, told ATTN:.
Croft also emphasized that communication and patience were crucial.
“Honest communication and patience is key in any relationship, but particularly when there is an age gap; misunderstandings can happen more easily, I think, because of the different places you might be in life. Be open to learning from one another,” she explained.